SURVIVE HARDER! -- Complete Season 1 (Amazon Blood Bowl AAR)

[JasonPratt]

Survive Harder Season One: Game 3: 2 of 2

During the half I bring the women over to check on Oigme as Marbet makes sure the watergirls give everyone half-mugs of Bloodweiser. I wish we had asked the League for extra money now...

"Okay," I tell them as they rest. "That was by far the hardest half we've ever had. And somehow you've survived. Even if barely. You may or may not be able to win. But please... survive harder." That didn't bring cheers, only faint and exhausted grins. "Going after the ghouls is a good idea," I added. "Do that some more if possible. Also the werewolves. Eliminate or neutralize their ball control."

"Control their balls," Akantha the Seducer groggily staggered up from the pallet where she had just regained consciousness. "Got it." Worryingly, even that didn't set off a round of laughter and cheers. Akantha had trouble even seizing a mug to chug the well-spiced cider. "Wake up, newcomer!" Akantha kicks Aeta though gently. "If I have to go to work, so do you! I have a plan. They haven't even seen a woman play rough yet. And I know how to play. Come here Tereis, you'll want to be in on this." That sounds somewhat worrisome, too, but with Oigme down the Reducer now is the unofficial leader on the field. I know she has the talent to do it, so I leave them alone to plot.

Our kickoff-reception wall is looking a little thin with 8 women vs 11 undead things (and some werewolves)!





As the ball tumbles around on our pitch's right wing, Aeta herself runs rightward from where she had seemed to be standing out by herself. This catches the attention of the golems on the line, allowing Anazmache to blitz leftward from her post, catching the rightward golem in a three-way arranged by Akantha with Tereis Antandre --

-- OUTRIGHT RIPPING APART THE FLESH GOLEM!





Even a nearby zombie on the line is swept aside by the force of the fierce and precise attacks.

The astonished golem shudders against gravity, trying to keep its integrity standing as the necromantic coach gestures wildly with his magic.

"Don't anger bitches who know your stitches," Akantha the Reducer quips; the cheers alone shake the thing into pieces which twitch and still.

"They... killed a flesh golem..." Marbet looks no less shocked than the necromancer still trying to galvanize the pieces back to life. "I didn't even know that that was possible..."

Later there would be merchandise, featuring that saying and some drawings.

Meanwhile, Andromeda (the other blitzer) darts downfield to guard against probable werewolf and ghoul incursions -- and then Athtar our thrower fumbles the pickup again.

No casualties on our side this time, and they aren't able to grab the ball. But the remaining flesh golem pushes a woman and stalks forward basically daring the surrounding women to try that crushing combo kick again.





We have enough enemy coverage near the ball that I don't want to risk it early in the turn -- let them try it while we're around to hit them!

But the golem is better protected this time, and for some reason, maybe exhaustion after that ultimate effort previously, the women don't seem able to double-team the nearby ghoul, so I figure our best chance at the moment is to attempt a blitz on the wight-knight near our thrower and try to clear her for a snatch. The women wisely leave the ball on the ground, this early in the half, tempting the necros to try running in to steal it through a certain gauntlet of ripping kicks and punches.

Unfortunately the werewolf behind Andromeda swipes her as she runs for the blitz, and she goes down with a KO; who knows when she'll recover?! I save our last apothecary usage for more critical emergencies.

The necros triple-team-blitz Athtar, who goes down hard but not too hard; she can stand up next turn. Still, this opens a path for a werewolf not only to pick up the ball but to run back far upfield toward our end zone. We have no hope of stopping him -- they're going to score again and we're probably going to lose now. The women, unable to catch him, knock a few Diggers down, hoping to put any of them out of the game, and then my last girl runs back upfield to try to position herself for a defensive block on the werewolf -- but she has to get past a nearby wight which casually punches her with an armored arm. The werewolf goes in for the score, and only one of my three KO'd women wakes up.



The werewolf kicker tries an onside maybe -- it lands on one of my linewomen who can't catch it, but we don't yet lose our receiving momentum. A sweltering heat descends upon the Viking town, which threatens to cause collapses among our players so long as it lasts. Great.



The girls swarm up onto the front line, managing to put a zombie out of the game despite his regeneration properties!

Athtar, our thrower, runs up and successfully grabs the ball; Aeta our new catcher runs over and tucks herself for relative safety behind the collected front line.



With a little luck we might get one point on the board or at least some more experience before we lose.

The necros surround us rather thoroughly, but Zerynthia is the only casualty, knocked down for an extra turn.



The necro defense is fairly good, enough so that the center golem cannot really be attacked. I signal to try throwing over him to Akantha Synope, but she fumbles the catch and even with an extra heroic effort she can't hold onto it. It meanders around for a while until Athtar ends up with it again! -- but the fumble kills our momentum, and she and four (!) other girls are quickly knocked down, while a ghoul grabs the ball and heads back up field toward point number 3.



Four of the five girls stand up again -- SURVIVE HARDER! -- but Athtar was the only one close enough to have a chance at catching the ghoul, and she's unconscious for another turn.




Worse, no girls are recovered enough to try punching back yet; but they do set up a 3 to 1 blitz on a wightknight.

It works, but it doesn't really change anything; the ghoul runs in for another point.

The wolf kicks the ball out of bounds so we get a touchback, and I signal the ref to give the ball to Athtar our thrower. The women condensing the line to set up a throw forward, smatting a zombie around in the meanwhile.



Three girls are knocked down but Athtar and Aeta are still up and two who are down stand again though they can do nothing. It isn't a long throw...

And the ball slips from Athar's exhausted grasp; she tries to grab it out of mid-air, but fails. The necros are fumbling around with the ball themselves, our women simply too fatigued to offer resistance anymore, when the goblin blows the whistle and that's the end of the game. Necros 3, Zons 0.




When the MVP letter arrives, the women snatch it out of the courier's hand and then burn it.

"As far as we're concerned," Akantha the Reducer says, "Oigme gets the MVP. She... what she did... nearly dying to do it..."

Over the next few days, each waking hour on the hour, the women gathered at the bed where Oigme lay, unable to move, and clasped their right hands together above her body.

"Survive," they would tell her. "Survive harder."

Soon, she was lifting her arm to meet the star they formed above.





With the pool finished, the four teams were sorted into the semifinals.

Based on the pool results, the League pitted us up against the necro team again.

Under the circumstances I couldn't decide if we should be happy about that or not.

And neither, I noticed, could our team.

Happy or not, they grimly and carefully trained.

[JasonPratt]

Survive Harder Season One: Game 4: 1 of 2

The semi-finals of our first tournament were approaching, but we'd survived so far with a win, a loss, and a tie. Our one loss had been handed to us by a necromantic team, and they were the ones we'd have to get past next. And our captain was down with a fractured jaw until next game.

We had SO VERY MANY KOs last time, compared to almost none the times before, that Marbet agreed we had better splurge on brew; and on an extra apothecary to help us through to the final game. Or women grimly trained as the days slipped past, polishing their abilities to pull opportunities out of oncoming failures. We couldn't afford to hire another woman yet, or even to hire a cheerleader, but the League sent money to help us buy two kegs of Bloodweiser brew and also to hire, again, an extra apothecary.

[Gamenote: in other words, I drain the treasury to give us a permanent 3rd reroll. 280K arrives from the League in petty cash... 2 kegs of brew and 1 extra apoth later and I'm down to 80K. I still didn't know yet that this money might as well be spent, since the League would only take it back if I didn't.]

Once again on the Viking field!




As the designated "visiting" team, the necros call but lose the toss and we elect to kick off. Unfortunately, a miscommunication spreads our team out wide and the necros bring everyone up to the line, argh. But we kick to the bare front of the line hoping to cause an onside kick (sort-of) -- doesn't work, but neither are any girls knocked down on the necros' opening surge.




We can't get to the ball carrier, so we set up some interference with the ghoul on our side of the pitch (only pushing him around unfortunately) and knock down a wight and a zombie.

One of the werewolves goes into a frenzy after only pushing away Akantha Synope, allowing him to advance and attack again and knocking her down; but clambers back up a moment later, only a little shaken.




After the women exhaust themselves with a round of fairly successful buttkicking, I'm glad to see they keep our defensive groupings strong, awaiting the wave. The slaughter last game has finally started to teach them what they simply wouldn't believe no matter how much we confirmed it in practices: STAY THE HELL TOGETHER AND DON'T RUN OFF ON EXPEDITIONS!




Nicely done, the necros make no advance with the ball and none of our team gets hurt!




Still can't get to the ball carrier, so more buttkicking? Why yes! A substantial number of necros go down (including the golem) though still none permanently yet, and none of our girls are hurt in the process -- plus a cluster get up next to the ghoul carrying the ball!

This time we aren't quite so lucky; Zerynthia gets clipped a little hard and won't be back up till next turn, leaving Teresa, one of our catchers, almost alone near the ghoul and surrounded by angry necros!




Teresa is likely to get slaughtered, but there isn't much the women can do about it yet except reduce the number of necros on their feet by two or three.




A couple of knockdowns in return, but nothing the girls can't stand back up from next time; and a werewolf strains a little too hard trying to blitz one of the girls from behind! -- stumbling and falling to give us back the initiative, before Teresa can even be attacked!

The women sternly pull together again, slapping down various zombies and a werewolf, keeping them stunned and unable to mount an effective attack whenever the girls get tired. "My father would be proud to see you fighting so efficiently!" I shout down the field; the girls respond by starting to smile and murmur their chanting a little but louder -- and by crushing one of the wight-knights out of the game for a while! Two girls get back near the increasingly nervous ball-ghoul.






Akantha the Seducer gets unexpectedly counterpunched by a zombie as our momentum winds down again, but she's back on her feet a little groggy soon.

Various women get pushed around; but even a wight with support, even a flesh golem WITH SUPPORT can't knock one down! The grand finale is a blitz by a zombie (of all things) which attacks Teresa Thermodosa, now surrounded on all sides by no less than three ghouls, two zombies, a wight, a werewolf, and that flesh golem --



and still she stands strong! "SURVIVE HARDEERRRRR!!!" she shouts back in their incredulous rotting faces.

Taking the initiative again, the women try a couple of risky assaults on the ball-ghoul, which doesn't drop the ball though he stumbles backward.

[Gamenote: stumbling can avoid a "defender down" result with the right abilities, which this ghoul had. At this time I mistakenly thought the yellow exclamation point was the certain "defender down", since after all the similar red marker stands for a certain "attacker down"! -- so I chose inadvertently poorly and learned thereby of my error.]

Unfortunately, the necros strike back with some hard licks -- nothing to put a girl out of the game (though one of our blitzers, Andromeda, will be down for a turn) -- but this frees the ghoul to finally make a run for the end zone. He'll definitely get there next turn unless we can stop him... but how?




Alkidike is the only woman free and in range to try to run down and block him; someone else will have to risk getting slapped down from behind to try a blitz! Anazmache is the logical choice -- being a blitzer she has better dodging chances... she flips out of the way of the swipe, runs down, crushes the ghoul to the ground -- and puts him out of the game for a while! YESSS!! She can't quite pick up the ball, but hey!



At we enter the final minutes of the half, we're doing fairly well although we don't yet have the ball back. It doesn't even seem possible for us to score, but can we even survive the mosh again?

Not entirely -- one girl goes down briefly -- but the necros send a free zombie in to try to grab the ball... badly. He almost knocks it out of bounds!

At this point we can't possibly score before the half is over, at which time we'll receive the kick, yay! So best to try to cause more damage before the half. This works okay until Andromeda's werewolf target manages to swat her hard as she takes him down; though she's badly injured and won't be playing the rest of the game (maybe), the visiting apothecary says there should be no long-term effect so I don't waste him on attempting to heal her.

With that the goblin calls half time. In puzzlement the undead stagger briefly, then retreat. Weren't these the same women they mauled no less than a couple of weeks ago?!

Yes.

They were.

[JasonPratt]

Survive Harder Season One: Game 4: 2 of 2

The mood is much better during this halftime rest, though grimmer in some ways. Harder.

"We haven't lost, we haven't won. But we've survived," I say. "Even Andromeda's injury isn't as bad as Oigme's was. You survived another half against an undead platoon that would make many soldiers pee in fear -- and I can attest to that from some experience!" In the puffing laughter I add, "You have survived harder.

"Now we're going to get the ball again. Keep it tight and under control... yes, yes, Akantha, control the ball tightly," I roll my eyes to larger laughs. "You've hurt them a whole lot more so far than they've hurt you, but don't dismiss them. If that coach keeps his werewolves in the backfield, you'll be murdered trying to run for the goal. His defense is strong and wise. Carefully reduce your foes, and watch for clean opportunities."

Speaking of clean opportunities, or not perhaps: as the goblin signals us back from our rest, I notice that one of the girls has lingered near the fans... signing autographs? Letting them sign on her?! I can't quite see who it is -- oh, of course. I should have guessed. The Seducer, playing up her chosen title. I realize it's probably for marketing purposes, probably, but a scuffle starts in the seats as she trots... langorously?... back out onto the pitch.

The scuffle escalates, as the werewolf kicks the ball.

Two hours later, the mob that invaded the pitch is driven away. The goblin referee, bitter and unpleasant on the best of days, spitefully sneaks some time off the clock so that he can leave here sooner.




Our thrower Athtar catches the toss of the ball from the ref, who doesn't care to have the werewolf kicked again.

We cause some damage to the other side, including putting the golem down, and pull our thrower and catcher close behind a fairly solid line. Now what...?




Two girls go down but without great injury; the flesh golem is still down, and that's nice, but with some kicks and positioning the necros have infiltrated our defense.




Akantha the Seducer nails a zombie out of the way, clearing the path for Aeta our catcher to only need one dodge to get free for a pass! Unfortunately, the necros are reinforcing themselves well enough that none of the women has a good double-team opportunity, so I signal Aeta to run for it -- and she flips over the wight swipe to run for blue sky! Now can I get her a pass without it being knocked down...?

Nope, she fails to get it over a werewolf (even with a feint and a second pass) and the ball scatters; two girls go down a little hard (out for the turn and not much offensive use next turn) while a wight successfully picks up the ball with no one between him and our end zone!




This is a serious problem because there ARE necros between us and him! He's very likely to score.

No one is free to try to stop him without at least one dodge, so I send the closest possibility, Zerynthia Dolope -- unfortunately his nearby team helps his defense! More unfortunately, both him and his fellow wight hugely outstrength Zerynthia. Fortunately...

-- ZERYNTH CARES NOTHING FOR THEIR SUPERIOR STRENGTH!

Dodging no less than two defensive punches apiece from the undead knights, the brave linewoman converts the failed momentum of her armored target, slamming him into the ground by the power of his own armor! The ball bounces free away from the former cheerleader.




Having blitzed, she's still the best hope for grabbing the ball -- which she does! Flipping over the nearby wight twice!!




Our cheerleaders raise a cry for their ascended sister, tumbling in salute to how she learned to be so nimble!

Akantha the Seducer tries to work her way down to support her, but cannot quite mimic the flips of a former cheerlader -- zagging instead of zigging she runs into a rigored arm which blasts the wind from her sails for a moment.

Wights strike back and Zerynthia is stunned -- it looks worse than it is but she won't be attacking or blitzing anymore for a while.




That ghoul to the upper right picks up the ball and goes for the end-zone, flanked by a werewolf. We really have no chance.




Five other girls had been knocked down in the undead assault; they stand but cannot regain their feet in time to pursue, and other women are just too far away. The Seducer pants on the ground still gasping for breath. With no way to even get near the ghoul, the few remaining active women try to wear down the opposition a little.




Flashy though it is, it doesn't harvest any serious injuries, and a zombie socks a girl from behind while she's trying to maneuver for support. The necros go in for the score, and things don't look good: we have only a few minutes left to tie and we're one player down in the balance.




A werewolf provides an excellent kick, far downfield away from my catcher, and we're off. Some nice safe slaughtering, nothing too wonky, and Athtar picks up the ball, running back to centerfield on my side. A long way to go indeed.




The necros strain hard to get players up my pitch; one even recovers from a momentum-killing stumble. But a zombie attempting a blitz gets hammered by Akantha Syncope as he lumbers up!






The other Akantha, our first one, double-teams a werewolf in the face, helping open up a possible run avenue for Aeta -- if she can only catch the ball! And if Athtar can just throw it competently.

The other girls do some doubling up, with some decent success though one of them pushes almost past the point of team exhaustion against the flesh golem. Athtar discovers that despite the necro swarm she can just run straight up the middle to hand the ball to Aete...

...which she does! Considering some of our failures, this is cheerworthy.

The women cannot entirely set up the best possible defense for her next turn, though: she has some support but not in the best position.




The necros do get some defenders near Aete to try squacking her from behind if she runs for it, but the Reducer puts a zombie to sleep as it tries to blitz Aete -- and now only a minute remains to try to pull our team a tie!






It really comes down to this: even if Aete was free to run, she'd still need two strain extra hard to reach the goal; and though she's good at dodging she needs to try that, too. Whereas Anazmache next to her is totally free to run and shouldn't have to strain as hard to make it in. So if Aete can hand the ball off, we can settle for a tie (or maybe sudden death since this is a playoff?) The women are fully exhausted now; they won't have any strength to cover for errors. As players across the pitch pause to assess their relative chances, and Aete gauges her blocker warily, Anazmache swivels her head to find me where I've run up to watch on the sideline.

"Take," I signal. She nods and calls to Aete, "HERE!"

Aete whips around to hand off eagerly -- and slings the ball from her hands.




Game over?

Aete is kicked by multiple werewolves. Honestly she deserves it for muffing the handoff and the tie.

Game over?

A wight runs over, picks up the ball, and tries to pass (kind of stupid) -- Anazmache attempts the interception... and fails. But knocks the ball out of the air.

And that's it, the clock runs out and the goblin whistles his piercing signal. Wolfenburg Diggers win their semi-final match. We lose.




Not even our most exciting game, so far as the audience is concerned. Then again, the mob that invaded the pitch was ejected and didn't get to vote.

The undead foes march off field, the ghouls and the werewolves capering with each other.

Our women gather together and leave the field together, too.

I can see some of them fighting back tears. Good; they're strong enough to do that.

"We're going to lose the prestige we earned," I gravely declare, wanting to see how far I can push them here at the utter extremity. Marbet furrows her brow at me in disbelief that I, of all people, would be scolding them here and now. "We're going to have to start over again from nothing next season, to show the League we're worthy of advancement.

"And I don't care," I say, unable to keep back tears of my own any longer.

"I don't care what the League officials think. Or even the fans -- although I think I can say with some assurance you've earned some affection there!" That was worth some tiny laughs.

"When we began, before this season, you were tavernmaids, farming girls, logging girls, Bloodweiser girls and cheerleaders. And 'other'," I cough discreetly in the direction of the Reducer. That earned some louder laughs, even from her.

"You weren't Valkyries from the Amaxon River. Just regular women. Who have shown you aren't so regular after all.

"Look at what you just did. LOOK AT IT!

"Last game, you fought off undead horrors, who beat you like drums.

"This game, you held them to one single point, and came within an ace of tying them down on that, at the last minute, and survived even harder -- fewer injuries, dishing out more punishment on those sad and twisted creatures. I... really, I felt sorry for THEM!

"All they did was win.

"You, my big sisters... you have done so much more...

"without you, I would be probably dead in a ditch somewhere today -- being gnawed on by wolves and maybe some wandering ghouls..."

Into their laughter at that additional detail, I knelt, and pressed my face to the ground before them: "thank you. thank you. thank you for giving me reasons to live..."

I don't think the women could have celebrated harder that night had we won the Blood Bowl tournament itself.


The League gave Teresa Thermodosa the MVP, apparently for gaining the most experience somehow because otherwise all she did in stats was receive a moderate injury!




Still, we survived without any deaths or permanent injuries.

Our treasury was empty, but we built a team worth competing with. Sure, as expected, our prestige dropped back to nothing. But as I pointed out to the women, they were the best defense team in the tourney this year, with only five goals scored against us. Oigme Antandre, our captain, out for most of two games, still managed to be voted Most Violent Player of the whole tournament for the (I suppose quality) of her two inflicted casualties; whereas Athtar Evadne was voted Most Effective Thrower with a respectable (under the circumstances) 66 yards this season.

But we didn't meet all our sponsor goals, failing to improve our team sufficiently, so we earned no extra money.

But we survived. And we got a little better.

"Do we have any chance at the Aerial Bowl of the woodelves?" Marbet asked the team, after a couple of days of recovering from their celebration of victory -- not in the tournament but in coming to be the Cavicorn Crushers.

"Only if we..."

"SURVIVE HARDER!!" crowed the women all together.

And so they started their training again that morning, running southward along the road our caravan traveled.

Marbet leaned back as I drove the main wagon, donated to us as our command-office now by a wealthy fan who appreciated some of the... surprising exuberance of the human female team who lost the cup.

And she gave me a peck on the cheek.

...yep, a very decent start.

[JasonPratt]

And now, thank God, Season One is over at last, and I can go back to playing Season Two!  ;D

Whenever I get around to starting to post that up, I'll drop a link here for convenience.

To any few readers who managed to get this far -- I hope you enjoyed it!

Next time, naughty tentacles.  >:D

[JasonPratt]

Update! -- I finished playing Season Two tonight, so expect the new episodes to start soon (probably tomorrow) once I do post-production editing and fleshing out of the narrative parts.

Season Two will be in a new thread, here in the Grogheads AAR category, but I'll post a link to it here as a final post for this thread.

[undercovergeek]

And now, thank God, Season One is over at last, and I can go back to playing Season Two!  ;D

Whenever I get around to starting to post that up, I'll drop a link here for convenience.

To any few readers who managed to get this far -- I hope you enjoyed it!

Next time, naughty tentacles.  >:D

Apologies for not posting...... looking forward to next update

[JasonPratt]

Season Two starts here now!