Your "Dumbest" Moment

[Jarhead0331]

Sometimes for no apparent reason at all, I have a flashback to some random memory.  The other day, I recalled one of my absolute most embarrassing moments of ignorance.

So, its 1995 and I'm leaving for boot camp in a matter of days. Thinking I'm already half way to being a Marine, I strut around the local mall like a bada$$.  About a day prior, I had changed my digital watch from 12-hour to 24-hour time, so that I could get my mind used to it.  As I round a corner, two of the most smoking hot girls I have ever seen approach me and politely ask me for the time.  Wanting to be of eager service, I say, "Of course!" I look at my watch, see some foreign double digit number and my mind goes completely blank.  In the next few moments (which felt like hours) I stare at my watch unable to decipher the intricate new code.  By now, panic has totally set in and my mind has officially shutdown.  So, I apologized and politely changed my mind, "No...you can't have the time."

...and I shamefully walked away from two really hot girls who were extremely befuddled.

You guys have any similar stories? 

[Centurion40]

I try to blank that shit out of my head... yet it still pops-up.

Lots of stupid "oh shit" moments with women who could have been lovers, but I was too dumb to recognize what was happening and therefore missed an opportunity.  Nothing particularly entertaining comes to mind at the moment.

[bob48]

^amen brother - been there, done that, forgot to buy the tee shirt. I could fill a book with red-faced moments.

[Gusington]

On 40Cents theme, the girl I loved all through junior high and high school, who always shot down my advances, invited me over to her place one night in college after I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. Ironically this was also around 1995 and she was still awesome back then (as opposed to now but that's a story for another day).

We went out to dinner and had a great time as always and then she invited me up to her apartment. I didn't really think anything of it because by then I was used to hanging out with her platonically (SP?)

We watched some TV and some Saturday Night Live while lying next to each other on the floor on some blankets and pillows. It was past midnight and I had worked a long day before I met her and I remember literally getting up from lying next to her, yawning and stretching, and then telling her I was exhausted and had to go.

I didn't think anything of it until literally like last year when my best friend (who was my best friend at the time in 1995 also) said to me "Yeah you totally screwed that up. She was ready to f*ck your brains out and you left."

I gave him the stare :/ He knew all about it at the time and did not say a word to me that she was on the prowl and that [finally] I was the bait! Fucker. For all those years I didn't even think about that evening because I was so used to treating her as just a bud.

So, shame on me for not being more aggressive in 1995 but SHAME ON MY BRO for not even hinting it to me before I went in. Total stupidity on both our parts.

To make up for it the gal married a fat idiot, is addicted to about a dozen drugs now and weighs over 200 pounds. So that makes me feel a bit better. But in 1995 she still was my dream girl, before I met who would become The Wife.

So...dumb stuff abounded. 

[DoctorQuest]

Mine is so dumb I'd really rather not get into detail. I cringe every time I think of it.

Let's just say it had to do with being young and sexually naive to the extreme.

[The Puss]

Mine was in my local pub to watch a very important Scotland game when my mate Craw brought in "blind" Martin to enjoy the atmosphere. Craw sits him down and I shout out "Fer f**ks sake Craw how is he going to see the TV from there?"
"He is blind Puss, yah f**king idiot".

[mirth]

Right after I graduated high school, I attended an alumni association dinner to receive one of the scholarships they presented that year. I was seated with a few others from my graduating class, one of which happened to be the girl everyone thought of as the 'hot girl'. I hadn't been part of her social circle for most of high school, but we had become something in the way of friends over senior year.

During dinner I chatted her up, told some jokes, tried my best to be charming and it was kinda working. I was pretty nervous though and the whole time I was talking to her I was also playing around with one of the little coffee creamers at the table. Inevitably I squeezed the thing too hard, it popped open and sprayed cream all over her and the lovely dress she was wearing.  She was good natured about it, but it goes without saying that ended any chance I had to score points with her. And the metaphor of the popping creamer was just delightful.

[undercovergeek]

working with a really pretty client the other week, she was complaining of a tight chest and difficulty breathing - we were walking on a pier in Capetown - and i helpfully suggested that 'id heard that of southern hemisphere places, something to do with being so high above sea level' , bless her, at least she was polite enough to just look down at the sea 3ft below us and blink at me

[Steelgrave]

There is no way that I've only had one "dumbest" moment, so I may be a multiple contributor on this thread  8)

As much as I appreciate (adore, worship) the female form, I try to not be the drooling, staring neanderthal that I really am on the inside...in other words, I do my best to hide my base (or debased) nature when it comes to the opposite sex. I think that's called civilization or something. Anyway.... an employee of mine had a really, really hot wife who was built to rival any male's fantasies (how this homely dude landed her I will never know). She was very pleasing eye candy and would often stop by to pick him up for lunch.  We would engage in small talk while she waited, and usually she had their baby in arms. One day, during that small talk my eyes had been wandering more than they should have been. She said....something or other....and intending to compliment her on her baby, I said that "he has a really, really nice set......(and now the panic sets in as I realize what I've said)......OF EYES".

She smiled, looked down and giggled a little. I knew I was busted and turned red in my very best Irish manner. We both knew whose "set" of what I was referring to.

[Centurion40]

Mine was in my local pub to watch a very important Scotland game when my mate Craw brought in "blind" Martin to enjoy the atmosphere. Craw sits him down and I shout out "Fer f**ks sake Craw how is he going to see the TV from there?"
"He is blind Puss, yah f**king idiot".

LOL!

[Martok]

I've have so many dumb moments to choose from, that I'd be hard-pressed to decide which was the dumbest.  Most of them make me cringe every time I think of them, though.  For me, it's humiliating/mortifying beyond belief to even contemplate most of them. 


I will say this, though:  Jarhead, if that's honestly about the dumbest moment you've ever had, then I envy you so very much! 

[MIGMaster]

My most stupid moment was when we were playing an outdoor gig in a neighbouring town and things were going extremely well. We had a buddy from a pro/full-time band with a massive PA doing our sound, we had all kinds of lights set-up on stand-alone risers and it was just going perfect! We started playing She Sells Sanctuary by the Cult and it was just sounding massive!! All these cute chicks were up close to the stage- so I was out front smiling at them while playing my hot pink Fernandez super strat guitar - I was truly living the the dream. I jumped back from the front of the stage and do this twirl just before my solo run comes in - I then proceed to play the run only to find out halfway through my guitar had come unplugged during my acrobatics. As I ran back to grab my guitar cord, I tripped over my pedal board and crashed head first into the keyboards. The rest of the guys are just standing there looking at me and shaking their heads. We had to stop the song, untangle me and re-arrange the keyboards - while half-drunk guys in the audience are shouting slurs about the idiot with the faggot guitar.

I went from hero to zero in approx 2 seconds - very humbling to say the least! :(   

[Centurion40]

My most stupid moment was when we were playing an outdoor gig in a neighbouring town and things were going extremely well. We had a buddy from a pro/full-time band with a massive PA doing our sound, we had all kinds of lights set-up on stand-alone risers and it was just going perfect! We started playing She Sells Sanctuary by the Cult and it was just sounding massive!! All these cute chicks were up close to the stage- so I was out front smiling at them while playing my hot pink Fernandez super strat guitar - I was truly living the the dream. I jumped back from the front of the stage and do this twirl just before my solo run comes in - I then proceed to play the run only to find out halfway through my guitar had come unplugged during my acrobatics. As I ran back to grab my guitar cord, I tripped over my pedal board and crashed head first into the keyboards. The rest of the guys are just standing there looking at me and shaking their heads. We had to stop the song, untangle me and re-arrange the keyboards - while half-drunk guys in the audience are shouting slurs about the idiot with the faggot guitar.

I went from hero to zero in approx 2 seconds - very humbling to say the least! :(

Ouch!

[Gusington]

^Funny Migs if that happened to me it would be one of my best memories :) My #2 dream of all time is to be in a band!

[meadbelly]

During the early months of my freshman year -- at an extraordinarily progressive college -- I fell behind in a class that was reading A Streetcar Named Desire. I was unfamiliar with the play, and  largely glommed over critical parts toward the end. So when we began the discussion, I was more than a little surprised at the near uniform looks of horror when I suggested that Blanche had kind of asked for it.

You see, the detail I had missed was Stanley's rape of Blanche.

Needless to say, my invitation to the Militant Unshaven Feminist Front rally was promptly rescinded.


(next week, we'll revisit my pantless walk of shame down a street of that same university, The Night of Fog and Blades. . . and Xmas Tress; my solo and entirely inappropriate ambush of 2nd Platoon during my one and only FTX, and some of the unforseen consequences of wearing a bald cap prior to running for class president in 8th grade.)