This is front page news in my home town paper. No joke.
http://www.centralmaine.com/2015/07/30/skowhegan-pair-charged-with-cornville-school-hamster-theft/
Thank God no one was hurt.
Good lord. What next? Breeding chinchillas for the underground unpasteurized chinchilla milk trade?
Quote from: LongBlade on July 31, 2015, 11:03:49 AM
Good lord. What next? Breeding chinchillas for the underground unpasteurized chinchilla milk trade?
Dammit, LB. You said you'd keep that quiet!
Quote from: mirth on July 31, 2015, 11:13:02 AM
Quote from: LongBlade on July 31, 2015, 11:03:49 AM
Good lord. What next? Breeding chinchillas for the underground unpasteurized chinchilla milk trade?
Dammit, LB. You said you'd keep that quiet!
The feds would have found out eventually.
I used to love hearing Eddie Driscoll pronounce Skowhegan during Dialing for Dollars.
Petnapping is a serious crime. Throw the book at them.
Quote from: LongBlade on July 31, 2015, 11:22:37 AM
Quote from: mirth on July 31, 2015, 11:13:02 AM
Quote from: LongBlade on July 31, 2015, 11:03:49 AM
Good lord. What next? Breeding chinchillas for the underground unpasteurized chinchilla milk trade?
Dammit, LB. You said you'd keep that quiet!
The feds would have found out eventually.
and....
another list that he's on
Quote from: Centurion40 on July 31, 2015, 11:50:58 AM
I used to love hearing Eddie Driscoll pronounce Skowhegan during Dialing for Dollars.
Ha! I loved the Great Money Movie when I was a kid.
OMG, the Great Money Movie! The highlight of being home, sick, from school. But I remember it being on earlier in the afternoon. I'd try to par-lay the whole week off if there was a good theme going.
Say, did Dick Stacey have a service station in Skowhegan?
CBC did a nice obit for Eddie when he passed. Didn't know you guys got so much Maine TV.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/tv-s-quirky-eddie-driscoll-dead-at-81-1.595262
For years, we used to get ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS out of Bangor. Then, in the early 90's (as I recall), the local cable company (there was only 1), switched to Detroit, and we got Fox out of Rochester (of all places). It really pissed me, and a lot of people, off. I related to Bangor. People took bus trips to see Stacey's Country Jamboree live (on the wings of a snow, white, dove...). I know caars and I know tiires. There was a bond. The corporate bastards wrecked it.
Now all of the 'Merican channels come out of Bahstin. Pffft.
Maine and the Maritime Provinces are very similar in many ways.
Quote from: Centurion40 on July 31, 2015, 01:08:10 PM
Say, did Dick Stacey have a service station in Skowhegan?
That I don't know. Apparently he did own a few service stations, but I think they were all in the Bangor area. Skowhegan is further south, about 20 minutes from where I grew up and lived for a good chunk of my life.
I love my state
http://www.pressherald.com/2015/08/02/biddeford-man-hires-plane-to-fly-banner-protesting-brady-ruling/
Pikachu gets engaged
http://www.pressherald.com/2015/09/07/in-mid-stunt-at-maine-speedway-driver-and-fan-switch-gears-for-i-do/
That's awesome.
Hillbilly heaven!!! O0
I am committed to this state's fiscal solvency
http://www.pressherald.com/2015/09/17/maine-liquor-sales-exceed-expectations/
Eagle fight
http://www.pressherald.com/2016/03/22/police-break-street-fight-augusta-2-eagles/
Stop The Abuse! Raptor Lives Matter!
Wessie sighting
http://www.pressherald.com/2016/06/29/large-snake-spotted-eating-beaver-on-banks-of-river-in-westbrook/
https://twitter.com/WessieThon
I'm sorry. I'm sorry already. I was just down by the river. And had to go really bad. So I just dropped IT in the water so nobody would see me taking a pee. What am I now? Some kind of international criminal or something? I didn't MEAN to kill that beaver, it just--- get away from me-- sometimes in the water that's all.
...no, that wasn't the joke I was expecting at all. ::) :P
Personally, I think the cows are fighting back
http://www.centralmaine.com/2016/12/08/mystery-questions-plague-central-maine-farmers-after-acts-of-vandalism/
Funny they don't mention the obvious:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Faliens.jpg&hash=5487c06bf9a2904e4bf9e6776816d78b8030cf01)
Black Cow Lives Matter!!!! :arr:
Quote from: bbmike on December 09, 2016, 11:45:38 AM
Funny they don't mention the obvious:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Faliens.jpg&hash=5487c06bf9a2904e4bf9e6776816d78b8030cf01)
Alien cows?!
I think I've found the solution. Maine needs more Swedish chicks!
My Brother-In-Law has cows. He usually just blows his truck horn. It's easier on the vocal cords.
On the ambulance, we'd often have to transport medical patients out to bumfuck country land. Doesn't matter what direction you go in, eventually you're going to have miles-long fencelines by the freeway and herds of cows. We'd turn the PA system on and moo into it to see how many of them would look up. You'd be surprised how many do.
Though one day the shift supervisor said something to the effect of, "Don't moo at cows anymore, the farmers are complaining that it makes their dairy cows not produce milk." :2funny:
Swedish chicks > truck horn.
Everywhere needs more Swedish chicks. <:-)
Quote from: panzerde on December 09, 2016, 07:41:03 PM
Everywhere needs more Swedish chicks. <:-)
+1 gazillion
Except Sweden. Those Schmucks with their fancy little meatballs, they don't deserve them.
Sweden has plenty of Muslims to rape their women, now. They're too busy to waste time on us. :(
Now I know what Mirth lookslike
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn3-www.craveonline.com%2Fassets%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F12%2Fhorsn2.jpg&hash=fd28d46e2f62f9779528be378f46b7437f5aad1a)
QuoteMan wins OK to wear goat horns in driver's license photo
By MARINA VILLENEUVE
Associated Press
AUGUSTA, Maine (AP) -- An ordained Pagan priest finally has gotten the OK to sport goat horns in his Maine driver's license photo.
Maine resident Phelan Moonsong said that unless he's sleeping or bathing, he always wears his goat horns, which serve as his spiritual antennae and help him educate others about Paganism.
But Moonsong is questioning why he had to appeal his driver license's photo to the state after explaining his religious beliefs to Bureau of Motor Vehicle staff. Plus, he adds, the horns didn't obstruct his face.
The Maine Secretary of State's office said the state was not familiar with his choice of headdress and had asked Moonsong for more information to review the issue. A spokeswoman said the state allowed the goat horns because Moonsong cited their religious purposes and also because they didn't obstruct his face.
Maine motor vehicle staff can hold license photos for review if they have a concern about religious headdress.
Moonsong said after he applied for an updated driver's license in August and explained his religion to a motor vehicles employee, he was told to appeal his photo to the Secretary of State's office.
He said he provided more information to the Secretary of State's office. But when he contacted the Bureau of Motor Vehicles in late November, he said he was told his ID was rejected - which was news to him.
Moonsong then filled out an application for legal assistance from the American Civil Liberties Union, which recently told him it was unable to take his case.
"What I was requesting should have been accepted according to what was written in statute and in guidelines," he said.
It should be no different than a nun wearing a habit, or a Sikh wearing a Turban, Moonsong said.
But, he said, he was happy to receive his new driver's license last week.
I don't have an elastic band in my beard. That's just weird.
Quote from: Sir Slash on December 09, 2016, 07:37:09 PM
My Brother-In-Law has cows. He usually just blows his truck horn. It's easier on the vocal cords.
An appropriate use of technology.
Well that guy looks so much like a goat anyway, why not with the horns? What I want to know is how does he press the gas pedal with cloven hooves?
Mirth, this was you, wasn't it?
http://www.wbaltv.com/article/maine-driver-lesson-in-parking/8524830
Quote from: bayonetbrant on December 21, 2016, 11:28:11 PM
Mirth, this was you, wasn't it?
http://www.wbaltv.com/article/maine-driver-lesson-in-parking/8524830
Are you asking if Mirth was the driver or the cart wrangler? I vote for the latter.
No no. They rolled there by themselves. Like they do into the side of my truck when I park a quarter mile from any at Wal-Mart.
Quote from: Sir Slash on December 22, 2016, 03:51:31 PM
No no. They rolled there by themselves. Like they do into the side of my truck when I park a quarter mile from any at Wal-Mart.
Then I find it extremely disturbing how well organized this bunch was. I fear the beginning of CartNet.
Now you got me thinking.....
Quote from: DoctorQuest on December 22, 2016, 03:53:54 PM
Quote from: Sir Slash on December 22, 2016, 03:51:31 PM
No no. They rolled there by themselves. Like they do into the side of my truck when I park a quarter mile from any at Wal-Mart.
Then I find it extremely disturbing how well organized this bunch was. I fear the beginning of CartNet.
The carts up here have to herd like that for warmth.
I always wondered about that. In very cold weather, do children get frozen to the seats of those carts? And have to be.... what? De-Frosted or heat-treated to get their little butts loose? Or maybe they have a ass spatula they use or do they just take the kids out of their pants and leave them frozen to the cart seat? Just curious.
Once a cart has hold of a child like that the kid is a goner. Tragic.
I see a market for Teflon snowsuits.
Connecticut, not Maine. Stags -what's going on up there?!
http://wncn.com/2017/01/09/adult-store-manager-employee-arrested-after-work-fight/
Who knows. Maybe they were arguing about how much the employee discount was.
Apparently there are no 'adults' working at the 'Adult Store'.
They both look like they're missing a couple of chromosomes.
QuoteA manager and an employee of an adult store in Orange were arrested after a discussion about work turned physical.
Sounds like the plot of a porno
Quote from: mirth on January 10, 2017, 08:14:01 PM
QuoteA manager and an employee of an adult store in Orange were arrested after a discussion about work turned physical.
Sounds like the plot of a porno
I'd pay to NOT let those two be involved in a porno.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frs464.pbsrc.com%2Falbums%2Frr7%2FJeffg0107%2FSmiley%2Fpuke.gif%7Ec200&hash=fa79d43888a57b6ffd33c0da1c73619000e3eeb4)
What the heck happened to vomit guy?
Quote from: bbmike on January 11, 2017, 08:52:43 PM
What the heck happened to vomit guy?
That's an impostor!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fvomit.gif&hash=f8c0cec79f834c3558ced52ccf681c80fdf7c2e4)
Quote from: mirth on January 11, 2017, 09:01:42 PM
Quote from: bbmike on January 11, 2017, 08:52:43 PM
What the heck happened to vomit guy?
That's an impostor!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fvomit.gif&hash=f8c0cec79f834c3558ced52ccf681c80fdf7c2e4)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn-static.denofgeek.com%2Fsites%2Fdenofgeek%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2F16539.jpg&hash=a4b8728227371c375498eb62a6ab9879c5ebc8e6)
I beg to differ...the larger amount of puke indicates more of a disgust factor.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on January 11, 2017, 09:37:04 PM
I beg to differ...the larger amount of puke indicates more of a disgust factor.
You are not of the body!
Quote from: mirth on January 11, 2017, 09:41:39 PM
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on January 11, 2017, 09:37:04 PM
I beg to differ...the larger amount of puke indicates more of a disgust factor.
You are not of the body!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv446%2Fkardel%2FIMG_2033_zpseff1965c.png&hash=6290410f52fa8baa1cea116d7363e68786e856b1)
I know that guy. He invented the dongle.
:peace: Peace, joy, and tranquility! :peace:
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on January 12, 2017, 07:54:12 AM
:peace: Peace, joy, and tranquility! :peace:
Not through dongles.
I gotta wonder how that even occurred to you, mirth.
No, then again, I don't need to. At all. :o
It's best not to try understanding my thought processes.
The sad thing is, most of us do, as it's very similar to ours.
Disturbing
And yet oh so right.
Just like Gus.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.quickmeme.com%2Fimg%2Fee%2Fee12b4e663537ac65175b3078c9a4e7e2731c68b20568623b54ab8d7c6226328.jpg&hash=6ae288915a0aaa0dec9e0a539e6d62011869c4c5)
Cue Gus to tell us how he's not a midget where it counts...
Staying-out! Staying-out! I wouldn't touch this topic with a four foot pole. :hide:
Quote from: Sir Slash on January 12, 2017, 12:54:53 PM
Staying-out! Staying-out! I wouldn't touch this topic with a four foot pole Gus. :hide:
ftfy
Gus is Polish?
He's an expert polisher.
I think they mean Gus likes to polish. Himself, specifically.
(https://cdn.meme.am/cache/images/folder838/250x250/11431838.jpg)
Bet he can whistle like a SOB through that tooth gap, though. That's a real talent.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/23/lewiston-women-left-child-in-car-while-they-robbed-biddeford-store-police-say/
Well, somebody had to drive the getaway car!
We have some master criminals up here.
Hmm...I'm forming a plan!
Are you going to become the Plaid Bandit?
I guess they never saw, "Raising Arizona" where the two guys take the baby into the bank with them in case they get killed in the robbery attempt and don't want Nathan to be left in the car by himself. :hide: They'll have plenty of time now to watch it.
Quote from: mirth on January 23, 2017, 05:46:07 PM
Are you going to become the Plaid Bandit?
Uh...no...I...uh...OH LOOK! SQUIRREL!
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/23/woman-charged-with-biting-officer-at-rally/
Here in Florida, biting someone trying grab your belt buckle is considered 'Legal Foreplay' and is allowed. But only in the privacy of your own home. We have standards after all. 'Nibbling' however is allowed everywhere.
I'm not sure you would have wanted to nibble on that one.
Not even if she had all her shots. :coolsmiley:
Not even if you've had all your shots.
You're talking about Jack Daniels now aren't you?
Quote from: Bison on January 24, 2017, 02:16:30 PM
You're talking about Jack Daniels now aren't you?
I wasn't talking about tetanus.
If you were going to grab a topless woman, why would you go for the belt buckle? :o
Quote from: Sir Slash on January 24, 2017, 07:37:46 PM
If you were going to grab a topless woman, why would you go for the belt buckle? :o
He was on the clock.
The guy was a boob.
He was just trying to nip crime.
The whole thing was a bust.
Their cups runneth over.
Chest another case of police overreach.
Now this is cool!
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/26/portland-to-host-navy-week-in-august/
Quote from: mirth on January 26, 2017, 08:18:47 PM
Now this is cool!
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/26/portland-to-host-navy-week-in-august/
You should go see that.
Quote from: bbmike on January 26, 2017, 08:48:16 PM
Quote from: mirth on January 26, 2017, 08:18:47 PM
Now this is cool!
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/26/portland-to-host-navy-week-in-august/
You should go see that.
Ya think?! :P
If mammaries serve, I sure hope that's more important than breaking the pun chain. >:(
The Blue Angels are fantastic. They scared the shit out of everybody at an airshow I went to years ago-- flying by about tree-top level wide open! Worth it just to see the little snotty-nosed kids scattering for cover. :2funny:
I'm certainly going to sleep better
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/30/kkk-fliers-disturb-residents-of-freeport-neighborhood/
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmultifiles.pressherald.com%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F4%2F2017%2F01%2FKKK.jpg&hash=d42479394a3876f1698635f7ebd496c4f99e92b4)
With those clowns, you'd better not sleep face down, otherwise you'll wake up butt hurt.
I don't know what the, um, modern "traditionalist" KKK is like, but I know what they're marketing as: vigilantes standing up against crime and oppression. Back in my grandfather's grandfather's day, the local branch weren't racist so much as a group of guys who rode out of town to stop bandits, rustlers, wife-beaters, and child-abusers.
I think that side is important to remember, too, if only as an object lesson for why groups of masked vigilantes are not really a good idea in practice, despite being a short-term solution to some problems. :buck2:
Unless Batman decides to relocate to Portland, I don't want any masked vigilantes fighting crime and oppression.
Nice to see the Klan has a 1-800 Hotline now. And I bet they're wondering why NOBODY is calling. BTW. Their old number was, 1-800-dumb-ass but they kept calling each other all the time. #:-)
They're probably still calling each other, "I want to report a guy in a white hood and robe in my driveway. Oh wait, that's just Bill to pick me up for the carpool"
What's the over under on it being a hoax?
Quote from: Bison on January 30, 2017, 03:49:41 PM
What's the over under on it being a hoax?
In Maine? It's probably real.
Apparently they're from a universe where the US only has 20 states.
Also, if there's trouble in my neighborhood, I'm movin' with my auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
The Klan is an endless source of amusement.
We have a town a bit to the east called Vidor, which is basically a white supremacist's haven. They used to have a billboard over the highway (this was probably 30 or so years ago IIRC) that said something to the effect of "don't let the sun set on your black ass in this town." :o
When I was a paramedic, one of my shifts was with a guy named David. The day he admitted that he had an uncle in the Klan (he made off-color jokes, but never came across as a Klansman himself...his fiance was Hispanic, so I don't know how that works with their by-laws, LOL). Once I found out about this it was the source of endless amusement for me. I'd ask him all kinds of inane questions about them, such as:
- Do they give you a little window sticker to put on your car once you're a member?
- Do they have secret handshakes?
- Do they get a group discount at any laundromat chains supporting the cause?
- Does that cover regular clothes too, or just linens?
- Is there an application fee?
- What grade level do I need to have passed to go up through the ranks - is it like 2nd grade to join, 3rd grade to become a Sentinel, etc., all the way up to 8th grade to be a Grand Wizard?
- Do they cover relocation expenses as long as it's to a state in the South?
...and on and on. I'd just randomly bring up these questions at times..."Hey, I was wondering..." ;D
I was never sure if he was amused or pissed that I wouldn't let it go.
Quote from: mirth on January 30, 2017, 12:10:26 PM
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Comforting to see their values probably land squarely right in America when it had sixteen stars on its flag.
(merged)
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on February 01, 2017, 06:35:45 AM
Quote from: mirth on January 30, 2017, 12:10:26 PM
I'm certainly going to sleep better
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/01/30/kkk-fliers-disturb-residents-of-freeport-neighborhood/
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmultifiles.pressherald.com%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F4%2F2017%2F01%2FKKK.jpg&hash=d42479394a3876f1698635f7ebd496c4f99e92b4)
Comforting to see they hold the same values as when America had sixteen stars in their flag.
And I guess they didn't change much as we went up to 20....
I have to ask what the difference is between the "traditionalist" and "progressive" versions of this group. :uglystupid2:
There are, believe it or not, actually parts of the Klan that don't see themselves as racists - my guess is that's the "progressive" version. They apparently don't spout racism or call for minorities to be harassed/hurt, but their core remains the same (promoting the "white race" I suppose). ::)
Sure, not racist at all. Whatever lets 'em sleep at night I guess.
My guess (as per my story above somewhere, plus how they're marketing themselves) is that by "traditionalist" they mean "masked vigilante squad fighting crime, y'know like those guys on Arrow! ...except less gay and black." ::)
i.e., they're trying to get back behind the racist terror squad part to the community Batman squad part. Just... not necessarily succeeding.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/02/28/windham-man-is-comforted-when-he-sees-jesus-image-in-toast/
Quote from: mirth on February 28, 2017, 09:41:08 PM
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/02/28/windham-man-is-comforted-when-he-sees-jesus-image-in-toast/
He knows when you are toasting, he knows when you marmalade
Hasn't Jesus suffered enough? Does he really need to be toasted?
I once saw Rosie O'Donnell's face in a cheese danish. No. Wait, that was a cheese danish in Rosie O'Donnell's face. My bad.
I saw a t-shirt over at the T-Shirt Hell website with Jesus proclaiming, "I just got my nails did" or something like that. Do the math as to what it was referring to. ;D
Now you can buy the Toast of Christ
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/03/02/windham-mans-toast-with-jesus-face-now-listed-on-ebay-for-25000/ (http://www.pressherald.com/2017/03/02/windham-mans-toast-with-jesus-face-now-listed-on-ebay-for-25000/)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ebayimg.com%2Fimages%2Fg%2FLo4AAOSw4CFYtjTt%2Fs-l1600.jpg&hash=f94b42d27f5014bad8f7bdbdc9b34099a83a4350)
Thirty pieces of silver? :-X
I am sure it is because I am a heathen, but I just can't see it. I see a Dalmatian puppy.
Quote from: DoctorQuest on March 02, 2017, 04:13:01 PM
I am sure it is because I am a heathen, but I just can't see it. I see a Dalmatian puppy.
101 Slices of Toast
Just when you thought the Jesus toast story couldn't be topped
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/03/02/central-maine-burn-victim-was-playing-with-lighter-fluid-fire-marshal-says/
And you can get this beaut for $22 + shipping! Lots cheaper than overpriced randomly scorched bread.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tshirthell.com%2Fshirts%2Fproducts%2Fa1637%2Fa1637_a_02.jpg&hash=9a250900be38ef438b8ca4f9f50f3ebd655c7600)
<smh>
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/03/07/interpretive-dancer-pretends-to-vomit-among-other-things-at-portland-council-meeting/
"Keep Portland weird."
Portlandia, East
Brant's gonna love this
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/16/us/oxford-comma-lawsuit.html
Awesome! O0
That's what we have English Teachers for. To sort things like this out. In my day, I would've been slapped with a large, wooden, heavy ruler( note correct use of commas) for leaving-out commas in their proper place by my 8th grade English Teacher, Mrs. Benard. Somewhere I know she STILL checking my grammar.
I saw it the other day :)
The Guv has decided to pardon a dog
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/03/30/lepage-pardons-winslow-dog-ordered-euthanized-by-court/
Typical! The dog contributed to his last campaign.
DA says dog can't be pardoned
http://www.centralmaine.com/2017/04/11/judge-refuses-to-stop-euthanization-order-for-dakota-the-dog/
Not so much bizarre as funny.
http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/other/this-is-a-police-appeal-%E2%80%94-get-these-goats-out-of-my-car/ar-BBAegLm
Would NOT want to be the next guy to go into that back-seat.
Top-notch parenting
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/05/05/maine-man-shoots-sons-with-bb-gun-as-rite-of-passage-state-police-say/
Agree. Wait until he gets them a car. <:-)
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/05/14/runaway-pig-captured-by-falmouth-police/
Glad to see the cop was able to 'hoof-it' over and help-out. :2funny:
Hopefully he didn't ham it up when the press arrived.
Why is Stephen Hawking narrating that video?
He needs the work.
That's got to be Bob's U-Boat, UR-12( you are one too). :2funny:
I'd be curious to see a zoomed-in analysis of that.
Maine (and the Northeast coast generally) has a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng history of seeing things like that. Also, quite distinctly, of seeing something with a vastly much longer neck/head and tail than that (with fur and occasionally whiskers), although sightings of that sort haven't continued past the early 1900s much.
Probably the local beer.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/05/24/bangor-man-untangles-4-baby-squirrels-knotted-by-their-tails/
The world is a better place for having folks like Andrew in it. I mean that most sincerely.
But the world is also a lesser place for having squirrels like that in it.
Beans, beans...
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/05/14/for-150-years-this-company-knows-beans/
You can't tell that guy he doesn't know beans about anything. :-X
Amen, sister!
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/07/maine-woman-turns-100-says-wine-is-secret-to-her-longevity/
How can it be a secret if she's telling everyone? :nerd: 'Take the wine and don't take the bologna'. That will be my campaign slogan if I ever run for office.
This sounds like a young Mirth
I like that its the 2nd time it happened but everyone thought he was still OK doing this job
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/07/07/police-maine-dad-played-video-games-as-his-2-toddlers-crawled-out-window-naked
And then, of course, there is this. Sounds like a great way to get some exercise. Thank God he was not an amateur runner.
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/07/06/professional-runner-outruns-2-bears-while-out-on-morning-run-in-maine
Quote from: DoctorQuest on July 07, 2017, 03:16:26 PM
And then, of course, there is this. Sounds like a great way to get some exercise. Thank God he was not an amateur runner.
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/07/06/professional-runner-outruns-2-bears-while-out-on-morning-run-in-maine
Thats why I go running with the wife
I dont have to outrun the bear...I just have to be marginally faster than her
Quote from: Con on July 07, 2017, 03:09:33 PM
This sounds like a young Mirth
I like that its the 2nd time it happened but everyone thought he was still OK doing this job
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/07/07/police-maine-dad-played-video-games-as-his-2-toddlers-crawled-out-window-naked (https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/07/07/police-maine-dad-played-video-games-as-his-2-toddlers-crawled-out-window-naked)
I just heard about that one on the radio. Shit like that happens far too often up here.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/10/quick-thinking-officer-turns-wrong-number-into-drug-arrest/ (http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/10/quick-thinking-officer-turns-wrong-number-into-drug-arrest/)
:2funny:
Good man. O0
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/26/police-arrest-hollis-man-dressed-as-creepy-clown-wielded-machete/ (http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/26/police-arrest-hollis-man-dressed-as-creepy-clown-wielded-machete/)
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/25/man-arrested-in-brunswick-after-10-mile-chase-on-i-295/
Quote from: mirth on July 26, 2017, 11:04:43 AM
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/07/25/man-arrested-in-brunswick-after-10-mile-chase-on-i-295/
Oh my god, they captured Beaker!
https://laughingsquid.com/two-angry-lynx-argue-in-middle-of-road/
That was in the local papers a few days back.
Yes, this is front page news in Portland, Maine.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/08/several-students-stung-by-hornets-at-south-portland-school/
I'm headed to Portland right now. I'll be sure to keep up my guard while I'm there.
Please do. We have hornets and wasps and many other perils.
Moose
Don't hit one with your car. It will not go well.
A moose bit my sister once
My sister bit a moose once.
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - a Bangor dentist and star of many Maine møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Kennebunkport Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfin"
Someone started drinking early today
Just some lawn work left and then it's my turn to drink next.
I'm just wrapping up at the office.
We apologise for the fault in the forum posting. Those responsible have been sacked.
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
Quote from: mirth on September 08, 2017, 01:42:51 PM
Please do. We have hornets and wasps and many other perils.
My primary peril while I'm here will be boring small talk at the wedding.
Fortunately, we have many intoxciating liquids for that.
I recommend 1792 bourbon, which I'm drinking right now. :bd:
^good call
Quote from: mirth on September 08, 2017, 01:24:16 PM
Yes, this is front page news in Portland, Maine.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/08/several-students-stung-by-hornets-at-south-portland-school/
From article: School staff members worked together to support other students who were feeling anxious, providing snacks and comforting conversations, Welter wrote.
When I was growing up, this would result in students releasing hornets in school to get more snacks.
^When I was in school the other students would have been laughing too hard to feel anxious.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/18/new-portland-man-charged-with-abandoning-his-pickup-in-carrabassett-river/
Quote from: mirth on September 18, 2017, 02:07:20 PM
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/18/new-portland-man-charged-with-abandoning-his-pickup-in-carrabassett-river/
I cannot believe that a habitual motor vehicle offender was drunk enough to leave his truck in a river.
Portland replaced Columbus Day with "Indigenous Peoples Day." As you read you will discover that Columbus was a murderer, rapist, robber and all sorts of bad.
See: http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/18/portland-does-away-with-columbus-day/
Quote from: airboy on September 19, 2017, 09:05:49 PM
Portland replaced Columbus Day with "Indigenous Peoples Day." As you read you will discover that Columbus was a murderer, rapist, robber and all sorts of bad.
See: http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/18/portland-does-away-with-columbus-day/
This city is tough to live in for many reasons.
this is pretty cool
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/22/artist-draws-on-portland-for-scenes-in-new-batman-comic-series/
That is cool. You should grab a pic of yourself recreating a scene from the comic at one of the locations.
Excellent idea. O0
TIL: Maine still had debtors prisons in the late 1960s :uglystupid2:
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/01/when-debtors-prisons-in-maine-flouted-justice-pine-tree-emerged-as-a-legal-ally/ (http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/01/when-debtors-prisons-in-maine-flouted-justice-pine-tree-emerged-as-a-legal-ally/)
That's right, people are camped out for Krispy Kreme
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/02/krazy-for-krispy-kreme/
I am shocked. :o I thought everyone in Maine worked industriously from dawn to dusk 24/7 except for X-Mas and Bullwinkle's Birthday? Don't tell me there's 'Unemployment' and perhaps.... even vagrancy? In the Great Northeast?
Quote from: mirth on October 02, 2017, 09:18:54 PM
That's right, people are camped out for Krispy Kreme
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/02/krazy-for-krispy-kreme/
Never fails to surprise me what people will wait for a long, long time in line for. The last International Donut Day, I think all donut stores gave away a free glazed donut. The one day I go out for donuts just happens to be this day (I rarely do), and EVERY store has a line out the door. Because of the free glazed donut. Which costs, what, $0.10? ::) ::) ::)
My dear, old Dad used to say, "Some people would line-up for an Ass-Kicking if you put the word 'free' in front of it".
Sorry to ruin your idealized version of Maine.
Quote from: mirth on October 03, 2017, 09:57:28 AM
Sorry to ruin your idealized version of Maine.
Still a far sight better than Houston.
Yeah, I don't think I could make it in Houston.
We had our own Krispy Kreme Craze here in Fla. too. But now we've gotten over it and moved on to better things, like Fidget Spinners.
Quote from: mirth on September 22, 2017, 09:06:45 AM
this is pretty cool
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/09/22/artist-draws-on-portland-for-scenes-in-new-batman-comic-series/
Did Batman kill Columbus Day for Portland?
And give the head of Columbus to the Indigenous Peoples?
And are drunks tired of winter the only true Indigenous People of Maine (and Wisconsin)?
I think it's safe to say whichever people have lived through Maine winters have been drunks.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/10/04/married-maine-teacher-indicted-on-14-sexual-assault-charges-with-student-who-tried-to-commit-suicide.html
Patrick Dempsey is from Maine and has been very philanthropic in his hometown.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/07/patrick-dempsey-gets-dempsey-challenge-underway/ (http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/07/patrick-dempsey-gets-dempsey-challenge-underway/)
Another Maine Darwin Award winner
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/08/lewiston-man-killed-when-fireworks-shell-explodes-in-sabattus/
Some people should stick with sparklers. :hide:
Quote from: Sir Slash on October 09, 2017, 11:02:14 AM
Some people should stick with sparklers. :hide:
Not even. They'll just put their eye out...
Quote from: Staggerwing on October 09, 2017, 05:51:30 PM
Quote from: Sir Slash on October 09, 2017, 11:02:14 AM
Some people should stick with sparklers. :hide:
Not even. They'll just put their eye out...
Just ask my uncle One-eye Frank
Good thing they gave him only one sparkler.
Quote from: Staggerwing on October 09, 2017, 06:24:39 PM
Good thing they gave him only one sparkler.
That was always the rule in my family.
My parents let me play with as many sparklers as I wanted. They just never lit them. "That way they'll last longer son" my old man used to tell me. I'm STILL not sure about that. :-\
sooo....
Do you still have them?
Eyes.
Sorry. Can't read what you're posting cause my seeing-eye dog is licking his balls right now. It's in his contract.
Good dog.
Sit, Ubu, sit.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/10/15/teenage-boy-from-york-county-accused-of-stealing-womens-underwear/
Star actually travelled that far north?
He's on a lot of watch lists in the South.
A snatch-holder snatcher? When that guy's 50, and married for 20 years and his wife has her panties hanging on every item of furniture he owns, he'll wonder what the hell he was thinking.
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/11/09/if-you-voted-in-portland-and-youre-looking-for-your-teeth-read-this/
Putting a bite in Civic Duty.
No doubt it left a cavity in his life.
If he left his teeth in the voting booth, kind of makes you wonder where he put his ballot doesn't it?
Why TF would you take your frigging dentures out to vote? I think it was just a prank, bro.
It would be nice if this kind of warning didn't need to be issued
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/11/20/falmouth-police-issue-warning-about-frozen-turkeys-from-dumpster/
For real?
Scary innit?
Remind me neverbto go to Falmouth.
I was going to invite you for Thanksgiving Dinner
In a dumpster?
Don't act all uppity about it.
That's what your mom said.
Mom died from eating dumpster turkey.
That makes eveything crystal clear.
Eating Dumpster Turkey will leave you with a "Fal-Mouth". That one made me cackle. :2funny:
What the Cluck?!?
Maine sheriff admits sending explicit photo to woman while in uniform (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/11/22/maine-sheriff-admits-sending-explicit-photo-to-woman-while-in-uniform.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fnational+%28Internal+-+US+Latest+-+Text%29)
Yeah, classy
http://www.pressherald.com/2017/11/22/oxford-county-sheriff-sent-explicit-photos-to-employees-propositioned-them-for-sex-official-says/
Starting to get cold up there isn't it? You can always tell.
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/01/20/jackman-town-manager-says-he-wont-quit-over-racial-posts/
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/01/29/couple-from-dysarts-commercial-approve-of-snl-spoof/
I had to look up the original story; had no idea what that was about. :2funny:
Free the Nipple!
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/02/01/topless-beachgoers-call-n-h-citys-ban-unconstitutional/
Heidi, Kia and Ginger.... 3 good stripper names if I ever heard them....
I liked how the one was doing topless yoga on the beach.
Yes, top-less Yoga cannot be done at home or anywhere that's private. It's all about the Positive Waves. And.... New Hampshire has beaches? :o
Quote from: Sir Slash on February 02, 2018, 12:36:11 PM
Yes, top-less Yoga cannot be done at home or anywhere that's private. It's all about the Positive Waves. And.... New Hampshire has beaches? :o
More like a beach
You have to dodge three eyed walking fish due to the nuclear powerplant right there
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seabrook_Station_Nuclear_Power_Plant
Oh Seabrook...the hot protest spot when I was in high school.
I tried doing some top-less yoga outside in the back yard today and the squirrels threw nuts at me. :'(
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/02/06/kittery-woman-finds-unexpected-ingredient-in-her-lettuce-a-lizard/
Damn vegans can't stand a little proper protein.....
yeesh
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/02/cornville-woman-charged-after-heroin-found-in-her-bra/
hawt
nawt
hater
I'm sure she's a nice person.
Probably nawt
She's a Heroin Heroine with a Cocaine Cleavage. \m/
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/05/chicken-runs-amok-at-augusta-olive-garden-parking-lot/
Quote from: mirth on March 05, 2018, 01:50:03 PM
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/05/chicken-runs-amok-at-augusta-olive-garden-parking-lot/
"SNAT (Special Nets and Tactics)" O0
Quote from: mirth on March 05, 2018, 01:50:03 PM
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/05/chicken-runs-amok-at-augusta-olive-garden-parking-lot/
That story put a feather in their cap.
Fowl news!
No need to crow about it.
You're all just a chirp off the old block.
I'm surprised it didn't pick Cracker Barrel to come and roost.
That should give the cops something to cackle about.
I'd rather they post well-researched and important stories like this, instead of just winging it.
Shit is getting real up here
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/06/hope-man-kills-rabid-raccoon-with-bread-knife/
Quote from: mirth on March 06, 2018, 12:52:26 PM
Shit is getting real up here
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/06/hope-man-kills-rabid-raccoon-with-bread-knife/
When the rabid raccoon comes for you Mirth, I suggest you brain it with an empty liquor bottle.
Don't use a full bottle, you might lose some liquor.
Here in Fla. we kill raccoons the proper way, with our cars on the highway just like God intended. The Bread Knives we save for flat-head screws.
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/03/16/maine-resident-jesus-christ-sends-letter-to-oprah-winfrey/
^This calls for a double
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fkfp.jpg&hash=5fe463cca45ca3d83a138bdcde7f9f67e50a23dc)(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fpicard.jpg&hash=1a4b743953c3f3d6a1dcd0c8f867398ea176f02f)
And one of these
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fibmg.gif&hash=456346306069561308e2d244a367dd4b91b05ff0)
So Jeebus is not a resident of Maine?
Wait! I thought Oprah was God?
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/04/23/man-trying-to-smoke-out-woodchuck-causes-grass-fire-in-monmouth/
pic of the guy from the above article
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.monologuedb.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F02%2Fcarl-spackler-caddyshack.jpg&hash=a3707a339d401504f1def3b69d3fe06b7db82e5c)
:DD
:2funny:
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/05/31/have-you-seen-this-bird-emu-on-the-loose-in-lisbon/
"Wandering Emu"
I think I have the name of my band.
Mirth are you OK?
Cause I know you shovel a ton of this around
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/06/01/farmer-found-dead-pinned-underneath-manure-spreader-in-maine
As though I would use a mechanical spreader. I spread shit the old fashioned way - straight from my mouth.
Looks like this time the shit hit the man instead of the fan. Apologies for the insensitivities.
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/06/19/lewiston-edible-insect-business-expanding-aims-to-raise-a-million-crickets-a-month/
Quote from: mirth on June 20, 2018, 10:07:34 AM
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/06/19/lewiston-edible-insect-business-expanding-aims-to-raise-a-million-crickets-a-month/
Cricket powder... (https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fvomit.gif&hash=f8c0cec79f834c3558ced52ccf681c80fdf7c2e4)
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/06/27/man-95-is-3rd-to-be-attacked-in-brunswick-recently-by-rabid-fox/
Meanwhile in Ohio........
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/04/05/police-investigate-reports-of-zombie-raccoons/
Trailer park, booze, baseball bats, and a gun...we know how to party up here
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/06/28/stolen-alcohol-fighting-with-baseball-bats-leads-to-shooting-in-newport/
Whoa...
I won't argue with that.
But you could really use some zombie raccoons, too.
Seriously! And if you add in cow stealing? I want to party with you, cowboy.
That guy brought a gun to a baseball bat fight. :uglystupid2: My new pick to be Mayor of Newport.
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/07/03/video-black-bear-caught-climbing-porch-railing-in-augusta/
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/07/30/man-stopped-on-turnpike-using-cell-phone-as-scooter-headlight/
Got to hand it to that guy, he's got solid brass ones. :clap:
Who mirth?
No, Mirth wears a little flashing red light on top of his helmet when he's driving his scooter on the Turnpike. And a 'Dominoes' sign.
What about his Po-ta-toes sign, Dan?
I didn't know he wore a potatoe sign. I thought he just wore a potatoe, in the front of his britches? Or was that a dill pickle?
Not sure.
Anyone want to buy a desert?
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/08/02/freeports-desert-of-maine-is-for-sale/
Quote from: mirth on August 02, 2018, 09:43:11 AM
Anyone want to buy a desert?
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/08/02/freeports-desert-of-maine-is-for-sale/
No, there's no base yields with desert. I'd have to build a Petra to make it worth while but I can't afford that.
If I were in the Mafia, I'd buy it. It'd make a great place to hide bodies because not only is it a desert.... it's Maine. Am I right? :coolsmiley:
you might be on to something
It's really tough for the Mob here in Fla. Every time you go to bury a body, somebody comes along and builds a house over it before you can get the hole dug.
Scandal!
https://www.pressherald.com/2018/08/02/maine-sea-goddess-forced-to-step-down-over-photos-on-social-media/
(https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/958/457/bc9.gif)
Where is mirth, anyway?
I'll try to pick up the slack.
https://www.npr.org/2019/01/16/685816019/a-massive-moving-ice-disk-takes-center-stage-mesmerizing-maine
I too miss the Mirthman. What you can't see in the photo is the little Ice Hampsters running around in a circle to power it. Wearing Uggs of course to keep warm.