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;D
Calamari!
His dentist is excellent.
I know that chick!
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 04, 2014, 05:55:24 PM
I know that chick!
I dated that chick. Her canines were sharper back then.
The teeth were rough.
the tenticles more so.
He looks like he's singing. :o
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F--3YQLgaBGZo%2FTtfLIe-LPxI%2FAAAAAAAAA90%2FBEIT3rccxwo%2Fs1600%2Fsquib_the_entertainer.png&hash=fe1fe1ae5b635785181c8e66de972dac49ee6f98)
This Spider Makes Fake Spiders. But Why? (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/more-decoy-spiders-philippines/)
QuoteScientists returned to the Amazon rainforest in December to collect data on one of their biggest finds of 2012: a spider that uses insect corpses and jungle trash to build big, spider-shaped decoys in its web.
But these Peruvian spiders, presumed to be a new species of Cyclosa, are not the sole sculptors of false arachnids. A second decoy spider lives in the Philippines, on the island of Negros. Finding two spiders that make such similar designs, 11,000 miles apart, has left scientists wondering how the behavior evolved and if the decoys serve as lures for prey or as an anti-predator defense system. The discoveries also suggest there may be even more sculpting arachnids.
You just have to know what to look for.
"The Philippine species and the Peruvian species, they both makes these decoys, but the architecture is different," said entomologist Lary Reeves, a graduate student at the University of Florida who found the Philippine spider in March 2012. That spider decoy's legs radiate outward from the body in all directions, while the Peruvian decoy's legs tend to point downward.
Reeves was studying deforestation and butterfly communities on Mount Kanlaon, near the town of Murcia, when he noticed something odd along the trail leading down the mountain from his field site.
"I walked by this web with a spider in the middle," Reeves said. "A couple steps past it, I realized it was a spider I hadn't seen in the area before. I backtracked, looked, and saw that it was a decoy."
The decoy was about the size of a half-dollar, constructed from debris and food carcasses, with eight legs radiating from its bulky center. It took Reeves awhile to find the spider that sculpted the false arachnid, but he eventually spotted it hiding in a pocket built into the decoy's abdomen. It was just millimeters across, and well camouflaged by its building materials.
At the time, there was no way Reeves could know entomologist Phil Torres would soon find a similar spider in Peru, and that its artistic representations would crawl all over the internet.
In December, Reeves went to Peru with Torres to try to learn more about these spider-building spiders. The spiders live in an isolated patch of protected jungle along the Rio Tambopata, in the floodplain that surrounds the Tambopata Research Center.
There, Reeves and Torres and their colleagues spotted about a half-dozen of the spider-building spiders. The team photographed and measured the decoys daily, paying close attention to how the spiders rebuilt their decoys after seasonal rains turned them into soggy piles of web trash.
more at the link
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i was happy, only a bit, but happy knowing they were quite dumb
now im not so sure
^That is weird.
When we first moved into this house I'm in now, ten years ago, I killed a big ass spider in the master bathroom. He was probably as big as my hand. He was trapped between the bathroom cabinet and the bathtub; there's a space about eight inches or so wide there. That damn thing shucked and jived and dodged me, all the while his eight little beady eyes bored into me with the hatred of a thousand supernovas. I thought he was going to escape.
I finally stomped his ass, though. I still remember that after all these years despite having killed a few spiders here and there...that thing, it was like looking into the eyes of a condemned man. It freaked me the hell out.
Never saw another one in the house, fortunately. I think he just got trapped in there because the wilderness was claimed by our subdivision's additions. Well, except for that f*cking brown recluse that bit me a couple/three years ago. Other than that...no spiders.
NO SPIDERS, I said.
I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fspidersaustralia_zps08754089.jpg&hash=4e795027ce7f7e4af6b724ce40105d2edb769018) (http://s1108.photobucket.com/user/Rotarrin/media/Other/spidersaustralia_zps08754089.jpg.html)
you would not be able to see my ass for dust
youd hear me screaming, but id be running too fast
Why run? That's what the flamethrower is for. 8)
Well they already got a piece of me and besides the feverish near death it wasn't all that bad.
Quote from: Gusington on January 21, 2014, 03:41:38 PM
Well they already got a piece of me and besides the feverish near death it wasn't all that bad.
+1
Except for the having-your-body-violated-by-a-poisonous-little-git part.
^I still don't know when exactly I got bit and didn't feel it when it happened, which is probably more gooder than the alternative.
It's because the little f&ckers have tiny little needle-like fangs that sink into your flesh like a hot knife into butter...without the butter feeling it. I went through the same damn thing, on my leg. Time for a Brown Recluse Holocaust.
Yeah it was on my leg too...you should have seen the subcutaneous shitstorm the bite caused!
You guys looking for an exterminator?
^Cue serious music.
They call me 'MetalDog', I'm THE Exterminator.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1/q71/1779881_10152181507535827_723138559_n.jpg)
I would move that very day...preferably to another continent.
You should try Australia.
You got real estate in Oz, Star? You keep trying to get Martok to go there ;)
He owns a spider farm.
Fannnngs for the meh-mor-ieeeesss...
STOP! STOP NOW YOU DAMNABLE CAT!!!!!!!!!!
Ouch. Does the PUNishment fit the crime?
Heh-heh-heh... :D
It'll be pundemonium
Better call the Punisher. Ol' Frank will have those punnin' wankers punted in no time.
punnative action will be taken.
your really trying to impunge him aint ya.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 06:50:35 PM
your really trying to impunge him aint ya.
I've no intention of going anywhere near his punge.
maybe he needs some accuPUNcture.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 06:55:02 PM
maybe he needs some accuPUNcture.
You're just trying to needle him now - I'm sure he'll get the point.
You can all go suck an egg.
dude, you should know by now not to tell us what not to do.
worse, your response wasnt even PUNctual.
He's clearly intimidated by the eggscellence of the humor we're laying on him
If he keeps pecking away at his keyboard like this, we'll just tell him to cluck off
That could put him in a fowl mood.
Stop ruffling his feathers, guys. He might get mad if he takes a beak into this forum again. We should CAWWWmit to a more friendly environment.
He may tell us to flock off, or maybe get real broody.
it could end in a murder.
'I'll bring it up in Parliament' he said, owlishly.
Make him eat crow.
That would be hard to swallow.
No puffin your chest out, bawb. You might have a talon for this kind of thing, but sometimes I think you're just winging it.
Quote from: bayonetbrant on January 30, 2014, 10:29:29 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1/q71/1779881_10152181507535827_723138559_n.jpg)
That is one proud looking pooch.
Is this my swan song then, Cat?
^ It certainly is a pheasant way to go through life.
I've got no grouse about that.
Well, that's dovely then, innit?
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 12:49:57 PM
You should try Australia.
Not for all the hot, slutty chicks in the world. I'd sooner live in Antarctica.
Just IMAGINE the huge, prehistoric, man-eating spiders frozen under the ice in Antarctica. That's a SyFy movie waiting to happen.
Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.
^"Well hung and snow white tan..."
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dudelol.com%2FDO-NOT-HOTLINK-IMAGES%2FDamn-nature-you-scary.jpg&hash=bbf9c887a8e96d8afb52a21b5613ee216721d19b)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gonewiththetwins.com%2Fpages%2F2000_2005%2Fscreenshots%2Feightleggedfreaks%2F011.jpg&hash=b1e5b9e5a36f9f13370c73389a8f129a0b4e58b6)
Yep, Antarctica sounds pretty good right about now.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-oeR_NbLv6wI%2FTY5q3RLs36I%2FAAAAAAAAAYk%2F7QquBtpUBGQ%2Fs1600%2FIce%252BSpiders.JPG&hash=76d4af868406cfa9ef3c44f87c2135b6a4b6e47e)
One maximized Fireball spell will take care of 'em.
C'mon, Martok...you know you want to go find a copy of Eight Legged Freaks...
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.joblo.com%2Fimages_wallpapers%2F349%2F6b258a802e5b2be188803c109b3f178d.jpg&hash=eb70cce2639f66cfbd641ab57640c72f4c4d0d13)
Note: not in Australia. 8)
Believe it or not, I actually did go see that movie when it was still in theaters. (I'm not sure why -- a "fear fetish", maybe?) I watched it with three friends, one a fellow arachnophobe like myself (although she was female).
The other guy friend who was with made the questionable decision to sit in between her and I. By the time the movie was over, he had claw marks on his right arm (from where our female friend had gripped it throughout most of the film), and multiple bruises on his left arm (because I kept flinching during various scenes, which caused me to accidentally elbow him a lot). ::) Good times!
In contrast, the other female friend sat on my left side...and wisely leaned away from me, so as not to be the victim of repeated vicious elbowing action. :P
Darwin's Bark Spider of Madagascar. Weaves the largest orb webs known.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin%27s_bark_spider
That's pretty amazing.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fforgifs.com%2Fgallery%2Fd%2F199355-1%2FBig-spider-climbs-back.gif&hash=5fd74a8f650d334097d9fef2dfa05c0fec62fb9d)
That's just wrong.
I hope you at least dispatched a cardioinversion team to Martok's place.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunnyasduck.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F03%2Ffunny-homer-simpson-chasing-spider-box-animated-gif-pics.gif&hash=452dfd910d9d448aa3437dfe28f2affbcdc8629d)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fii.fobby.net%2Fmisc%2Fspider_animated.gif&hash=4dad19a819b551c8ba4d509c5b3a2f69530dc028)
That's an extreme closeup of an Orb Weaver. Beautiful spider, but not much more than a couple of inches in diameter.
Quote from: Bison on February 15, 2014, 07:42:08 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fforgifs.com%2Fgallery%2Fd%2F199355-1%2FBig-spider-climbs-back.gif&hash=5fd74a8f650d334097d9fef2dfa05c0fec62fb9d)
wtf
Quote from: Bison on February 16, 2014, 05:51:28 PM
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Ugh. That's one of my nightmares...
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on February 05, 2014, 06:23:47 PM
C'mon, Martok...you know you want to go find a copy of Eight Legged Freaks...
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.joblo.com%2Fimages_wallpapers%2F349%2F6b258a802e5b2be188803c109b3f178d.jpg&hash=eb70cce2639f66cfbd641ab57640c72f4c4d0d13)
Note: not in Australia. 8)
Huh, the fangs are spaced just right for his eye sockets. How will it pull off the marshmellows after?
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1979560_502943646476605_2012083308_n.jpg)
Yeah, that's pretty wrong.
Yeah, just imagine him creeping up on you during the night and pouring a bucket of whitewash down your ear.
Honk honk!
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/10171658_10152442813830934_2133831680_n.jpg)
That's the biggest damn grass spider I have EVER seen!
I have to admit, that's pretty good. My stomach flipped a couple times just looking at the damn thing!
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1.0-9/1012927_770435362980441_849336824_n.jpg)
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!
I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 08, 2014, 12:48:02 AM
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!
I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?
You talkin' 'bout Ahura Mazda or Mazda Motor Corporation?
Quote from: Staggerwing on April 08, 2014, 05:05:33 AM
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 08, 2014, 12:48:02 AM
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!
I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?
You talkin' 'bout Ahura Mazda or Mazda Motor Corporation?
I'll take spider car factories for $100, Alex.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on April 06, 2014, 11:42:38 AM
LOL! That one never, ever gets old. Cracks me up every time I watch it.
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 08, 2014, 11:57:47 AM
Quote from: Staggerwing on April 08, 2014, 05:05:33 AM
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 08, 2014, 12:48:02 AM
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!
I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?
You talkin' 'bout Ahura Mazda or Mazda Motor Corporation?
I'll take spider car factories for $100, Alex.
I have it on good authority it was done on a drunken bet.
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 09, 2014, 01:42:00 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.
Oh, I'm sure they get a fair few each year (and yes they're real (http://www.ec.gc.ca/paom-itmb/default.asp?lang=En&n=5F569149-1)). 8)
Quote from: Martok on April 09, 2014, 02:22:37 PM
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 09, 2014, 01:42:00 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.
Oh, I'm sure they get a fair few each year (and yes they're real (http://www.ec.gc.ca/paom-itmb/default.asp?lang=En&n=5F569149-1)). 8)
Excited by the 'and yes they're real' part I hurriedly clicked on your link expecting to be enlighten about this mysterious Crack Spider's Bitch but only found myself on the Canadian Wildlife Service's web site... oh well. :(
Quote from: Staggerwing on April 09, 2014, 06:23:17 PM
Quote from: Martok on April 09, 2014, 02:22:37 PM
Quote from: skeptical.platypus on April 09, 2014, 01:42:00 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.
Oh, I'm sure they get a fair few each year (and yes they're real (http://www.ec.gc.ca/paom-itmb/default.asp?lang=En&n=5F569149-1)). 8)
Excited by the 'and yes they're real' part I hurriedly clicked on your link expecting to be enlighten about this mysterious Crack Spider's Bitch but only found myself on the Canadian Wildlife Service's web site... oh well. :(
You do realize you were one small phone call away for staggerwing, one giant leap for Grogkind from completing the
Crack Spider's Bitch: More Information Circle of Life, right? ;D
Not sure what you meant but by then the moment had passed.
We were talking about people calling the CWS for more information on Crack Spider's Bitch. You followed a link for possibly more information on Crack Spider's Bitch. A phone call simply would have been more elegant.
Demon spiders are fun. ;)
"You're hard working, you love people..."
"No... I love the liquid inside people!" ;D
Oooooo...Aqua Teen Hunger Force! ;D
Quote from: Arctic Blast on April 12, 2014, 01:54:53 AM
Oooooo...Aqua Teen Hunger Force! ;D
Hell yeah, man!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.karcreat.com%2Fmoonsavr.gif&hash=a34db923e1abe4d78f5eaa7c6967ead82db9344c)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc00.deviantart.net%2Ffs7%2Fi%2F2005%2F263%2F9%2Fd%2FMooninites1_by_Adult_Swim_Club.jpg&hash=9b3cd7220c86dc09d2eeb2f3113b80dbe3360722)
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Haven't you guys ever seen a mouse eat a spider? I've seen them eat cockroaches.
I've seen spiders eat mice:
you've come a long way baby!
I found a tarantula in a hole in my yard, when I was a kid. Saw something move when I was mowing the lawn and found a hole in the ground. Dropped a lit fire cracker in it, not knowing what was in there. So I got close and looked back inside the hole and it crawled up to the opening and gave me the wicked eye. My firecracker only pissed it off, but not enough for him to come out of cover. I left it well alone after that. :)
At certain times of the season, you could see tarantulas crawling across the road up on the hill above the family farm. You can see the large ones from further off than you would expect when they're in the middle of a paved road. I had seen a few doing that over the years. Almost never saw them otherwise, although we knew there were plenty around. :o
It's still been the little sneaky brown recluses that I've always been most worried about. Damn things have a reputation for crawling on you in your sleep. When it's dark. Because humans taste like candy.
That is an undeserved reputation for the recluse, Nefaro. They would much prefer to stay out of sight and away from people. Although, there are several houses that I have pulled out more than three hundred a month from in the summer time.
As for tasting like candy, I've known a few who taste VERY sweet :)
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/l/t1.0-9/10246638_780348005319098_5878081901956356347_n.jpg)
I think that the one down below has miniature scuba gear.
Quote from: MetalDog on April 14, 2014, 06:53:23 PM
That is an undeserved reputation for the recluse, Nefaro. They would much prefer to stay out of sight and away from people. Although, there are several houses that I have pulled out more than three hundred a month from in the summer time.
Nevertheless the Recluse just loves to live in peoples' houses. Lotsa dark nooks & crannies to hide. So they tend to live closer to humans than the big hairy stuff which typically live outdoors and keep away from us.
In eight years time, I have found no more than ten Recluse on the outside of someones house. Scores of Black Widows outside, but less than a handful inside. It's easy for me to be blasé about removing them from a customers house. If it were my own, I'd have a come apart. But crawling on people in their bed is not something they do very often.
Quote from: MetalDog on April 16, 2014, 07:57:23 PM
In eight years time, I have found no more than ten Recluse on the outside of someones house. Scores of Black Widows outside, but less than a handful inside. It's easy for me to be blasé about removing them from a customers house. If it were my own, I'd have a come apart. But crawling on people in their bed is not something they do very often.
I'm surprised that you southerners don't let pet geckos roam free in your homes to eat the spiders. I'd rather have a gecko crawl on me, then a venomous spider!!
we do. I've got lizards by the job lots running around outside.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on April 17, 2014, 08:34:14 AM
we do. I've got lizards by the job lots running around outside.
What about inside?
My mother lives in Sarasota, FL and has at least 1 wild gecko living in the house. It hides behind furniture, typically up on the wall, and hisses if people get too curious.
Quote from: Ubercat on April 17, 2014, 10:39:53 AM
My mother lives in Sarasota, FL and has at least 1 wild gecko living in the house. It hides behind furniture, typically up on the wall, and hisses if people get too curious.
I'd be happy to vacuum up gecko shit if I knew it was keeping recluses and widows at bay.
Quote from: Centurion40 on April 17, 2014, 10:44:17 AM
Quote from: Ubercat on April 17, 2014, 10:39:53 AM
My mother lives in Sarasota, FL and has at least 1 wild gecko living in the house. It hides behind furniture, typically up on the wall, and hisses if people get too curious.
I'd be happy to vacuum up gecko shit if I knew it was keeping recluses and widows at bay.
+1000
I didn't know that about geckos. May have to invest in a few dozen of them... :P
40, I'd love to let a lizard or three live in my house. Unfortunately, the latitude I am at doesn't allow for them year round. Yours is even worse for them ;)
Heres what I get to play with today. ;D
Why? Are you working it into the decor? :P
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 11:16:24 AM
Heres what I get to play with today. ;D
That's not a Banana Spider, is it, Star? If so, be super careful. Also looks like a Garden Spider. But those are black and yellow with a white underbelly. Really similar otherwise.
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 06:57:06 PM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.
Size of your thumb? I wouldn't sweat it too much then. Just be careful. Neither of the two I described, Banana or Garden, are that small.
ah... the one I took the picture of was that size. some of the other would give Martok fits. ;D
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!
Quote from: undercovergeek on April 22, 2014, 12:33:26 AM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!
Cigar for ignition= extra man-points.
Quote from: MetalDog on April 17, 2014, 11:00:34 PM
40, I'd love to let a lizard or three live in my house. Unfortunately, the latitude I am at doesn't allow for them year round. Yours is even worse for them ;)
True, but I don't have to worry about a spider bite sending me to the hospital!
Quote from: MetalDog on April 21, 2014, 11:23:38 PM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 06:57:06 PM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.
Size of your thumb? I wouldn't sweat it too much then. Just be careful. Neither of the two I described, Banana or Garden, are that small.
Size of your thumb isn't big???!! Jesus!
Quote from: Staggerwing on April 22, 2014, 06:17:49 AM
Quote from: undercovergeek on April 22, 2014, 12:33:26 AM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!
Cigar for ignition= extra man-points.
lol - arachnid destruction with style
Quote from: undercovergeek on April 22, 2014, 12:33:26 AM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!
Seriously, if you're going to use a flamethrower, then just GET AN ACTUAL DAMN FLAMETHROWER. Don't half-ass it! ::) Sheesh...
Ive been usong a 3500 psi pressure washer with a needle tip. 8)
Good man.
Quote from: Centurion40 on April 22, 2014, 08:04:35 AM
Quote from: MetalDog on April 21, 2014, 11:23:38 PM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 06:57:06 PM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.
Size of your thumb? I wouldn't sweat it too much then. Just be careful. Neither of the two I described, Banana or Garden, are that small.
Size of your thumb isn't big???!! Jesus!
This is the spider I thought it resembled originally. They can get as big as your entire hand.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1355.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq717%2Fstophro%2FGardenSpider_zps517be349.jpg&hash=f6711aeba64eb7285f5440ee4b609e726d3e5bd6) (http://s1355.photobucket.com/user/stophro/media/GardenSpider_zps517be349.jpg.html)
That aint these. The body is longer and skinnier.
Heres another
If it wasn't for the fact that you're now killing so many of them in the course of your current project, I'd think you were in Spidertopia.
Im only killing the ones that are in my way. My client considers them his "friends". ::)
Hmmm...
I'd stay out of his basement in case his 'family' has some kind of gigantic nest down there complete with full larder of silk-wrapped people-pops.
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1.0-9/10013561_691585337531225_1091788304_n.jpg)
LOL! You do have to wonder what inspired that image. :D
well, I'd say that 90% of the spiders that I didn't kill and whos location I knew about have vanished.
I sense a counter attack coming.
Unless they somehow manage to take away your flamethrower, I think you're pretty safe.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/t1.0-9/1912367_10152319151981882_1817245722_n.jpg)
Red leg red leg mark these coordinates and fire for effect!
What the effing f
Quote from: Martok on May 06, 2014, 11:51:59 PM
What the effing f
you didnt see Mirths "girlfriend" posts?
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on May 07, 2014, 12:40:33 AM
Quote from: Martok on May 06, 2014, 11:51:59 PM
What the effing f
you didnt see Mirths "girlfriend" posts?
Dude, that was hours ago. You have way too much faith in my ability to remember them and then make the connection. (I'm flattered, though.) :P
I was just startled by the ice settling in my margarita.
I would be startled by ice settling in any drink, margarita or not. ??? I'm not sure that's "ice", man...
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on May 06, 2014, 09:48:32 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/t1.0-9/1912367_10152319151981882_1817245722_n.jpg)
Burn the house down.
Quote from: endfire79 on May 06, 2014, 05:39:40 PM
Ok, 'never going to Brazil' just got added to the list. :o
Quote from: Centurion40 on May 07, 2014, 08:24:53 AM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on May 06, 2014, 09:48:32 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/t1.0-9/1912367_10152319151981882_1817245722_n.jpg)
Burn the house down.
Fuck that! That would imply still being within visual range of the thing. I'd be miles away, calling in an airstrike.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthechive.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F05%2Fthedar.gif&hash=45dc84e47c4af52a7080f1084e1c1a4605dd2e04)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/10177288_818837091470637_2035450540079386755_n.jpg)
^Business opportunity.
Quote from: Martok on May 07, 2014, 01:25:05 AM
I would be startled by ice settling in any drink, margarita or not. ??? I'm not sure that's "ice", man...
lol
Quote from: Staggerwing on May 09, 2014, 08:48:12 PM
^Business opportunity.
It's also reportedly a pretty painful erection that could cause some kind of permanent disability. :o
if shes walking funny thats her problem.
Yeah, but WHERE does it have to bite you, exactly?
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/t1.0-9/s720x720/487508_569741769713505_781167456_n.jpg)
You gotta love the Misunderstood Spider. :)
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/10262270_10152447395295729_9216528913219088197_n.jpg)
Not for the first time -- and certainly not the last -- I'm glad I don't live in Australia. :P
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthechive.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F06%2Fthe-dar-203.jpg%3Fw%3D550%26amp%3Bh%3D866&hash=f49b7e4ec3197d7722a3eae05a4d27c743a70917)
Didn't there used to be gag toilet paper you could get with a realistic spider printed on it every three feet or so?
That's fucking evil!!
Fortunately, not a real spider.
(Doesn't have eight legs, only six. :D )
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t1.0-9/10409735_10152099051697234_8904566988973849448_n.jpg)
(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/10422341_10154322516915078_1345898470620611944_n.png)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/10417533_10154322519135078_1515686397991007604_n.png)
^ I will admit, my feelings regarding cobwebs synch up with this guy's pretty closely.
Quote from: Barthheart on June 19, 2014, 02:14:01 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t1.0-9/10409735_10152099051697234_8904566988973849448_n.jpg)
Hey, at least you know where that motherfucker is...
^^ "And then I put both barrels up to the wall of the tend and pulled the trigger... No, Ranger, I wasn't drunk! That thing came from Mirkwood!"
(Edited to add: I thought about changing my mis-spell of "tent" later, but then decided it might fit the joke.)
It's COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!
http://news.yahoo.com/theyre-alive-goliath-tarantulas-among-spiders-exhibit-132837797.html
Quote from: mirth on July 02, 2014, 12:01:12 PM
http://news.yahoo.com/theyre-alive-goliath-tarantulas-among-spiders-exhibit-132837797.html
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fup-ship.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F06%2FGrumpy-cat-nope.jpg&hash=fea00d8cbd416d3d8326d71749883e7d3df257ea)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthetyedyediguana.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fi%2F296%2Fgoliath-birdeater-tarantula-Theraphosa-blondi__25183_zoom.jpg&hash=9788ba2405d39954e838d22101541fe212fef277)
Death to the Goliath Bird-eater Tarantula!!!!
What
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath_birdeater
Second largest spider in the world.
Here's the FIRST largest:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F6%2F61%2FHeteropoda_maxima_1.jpg&hash=14a9604d4430880b35460f4dbb7d563c731001d7)
The Giant Huntsman Spider. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_huntsman_spider) Only discovered in 2001.
Not sure if this was covered in this thread already as I am too lazy to check. But holy schnikes, seriously, F&CK THIS THING. Not literally, of course.
Is it making off with a tinfoil-wrapped baked potato?
That would be one of Martoks testicles.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on July 02, 2014, 07:57:47 PM
That would be one of Martoks testicles.
He keeps them wrapped in tinfoil?
And are they really that big?
Quote from: Staggerwing on July 02, 2014, 08:56:20 PM
And are they really that big?
yes
oddly thats more surprising then the fact that he wraps them in tin foil.
For freshness' sake.
And it goes with the tinfoil hat.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on June 03, 2014, 07:27:24 AM
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/10262270_10152447395295729_9216528913219088197_n.jpg)
This.
You're a nice warm pillow for Mister Spider to lounge upon. ;D
But yes. I've abruptly awoke from a nightmare about a spider crawling on my neck & face.... to find an actual spider crawling on my neck.
Unfortunately, that's happened to me as well. :-\
SPIDER STALKER LOOVVVEESS YOOUUUU! :D
Shelob will take care of you and cuddle you until you fall asleep >:D
<Checks to make sure flame-thrower is fully charged>
Okay, good to go! 8)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.diylol.com%2Fhfs%2F2c4%2Ff80%2F2c4%2Fresized%2Fmisunderstood-spider-meme-generator-hey-i-just-noticed-that-you-guys-made-post-about-me-whats-the-flamethrower-have-to-do-with-this-9815f6.jpg&hash=2988ee38e58bcc2592b5f66ecf07d6afdf682a94)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fweknowmemes.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F06%2Fdog-dressed-up-in-spider-costume.jpg&hash=1363685af246a7f0a362f19215da12d3ed613d13)
^ Heh. I believe I've seen that one before, but it's always good for a chuckle.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on July 07, 2014, 03:41:29 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.diylol.com%2Fhfs%2F2c4%2Ff80%2F2c4%2Fresized%2Fmisunderstood-spider-meme-generator-hey-i-just-noticed-that-you-guys-made-post-about-me-whats-the-flamethrower-have-to-do-with-this-9815f6.jpg&hash=2988ee38e58bcc2592b5f66ecf07d6afdf682a94)
LOL! Nicely done,
BC.
Did Martok move to Seattle?
http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/07/seattle_mans_use_of_homemade_b.html#incart_river (http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/07/seattle_mans_use_of_homemade_b.html#incart_river)
LOL! No, but it does sound like something I might do if I were just a little dumber. ;D
"A little voice told me to give em hell."
Then what did the voice say?
"Why do you listen to me? I'm dumber than you!"
Crossposting here for extended chances someone will be a lot more familiar with insects than I am... ;)
At least it isn't a spider, Martok. :))
Found on the floor of a West Tennessee factory this morning.
It's about an inch long (scale is hard to tell from the photos), and walks and runs with a wiggly motion like a lizard -- the guys thought it was a small lizard at first.
It has six legs so it's probably an insect, but I don't know that all six-legged exoskeleton thoraxy things are insects.
The head is at the top of each picture; the two long things which look like antenna are the tail. (Well, probably not the "tails" per se, but the hind end.)
The outer shell seems rather soft; it definitely has grey fuzz like a spider might.
I thought at first it was a cave cricket of some kind, but it does have eyes. Then again, they're not all blind (right?). We don't have cave systems in this part of Tennessee either, though of course it could have hitched a ride from Middle TN or Middle KY.
It cannot climb plastic, or not wet plastic anyway -- I have it captured currently in a Propel bottle (with a few knife slices at the top to allow a little air.)
Looks like some kind of locust or mutant grasshopper.
Kill it next time. Let God sort 'em out.
Someone I know was recently bit on the neck by a Brown Recluse.
Horey crap, I saw a pic of how immensely swollen her neck had become. I think she made it to the Docs before it started rotting out and got it under control.
Still wondering if it got her while she was sleeping. That's when those little bastards strike!
Thanks Nefaro. Just what I want to hear when I'm heading to bed in the next couple hours. (Granted, brown recluses aren't supposed to live this far north, but still!). :P
More than likely, she got it from pulling a shirt over her head from the closet. It's possible that she got it in bed, but, it's a fallacy that Recluse hang out in your bed and wait to bite you. The bed thing is usually caused by the bed being under a vent or light fixture and the little bastards drop down and land on the bed. You roll over on them and they commence to biting you.
F that. Little bastards invade MY house, then bite ME? Oh, hell naw.
I'm pretty livid over the idea because one bit my on my leg while I slept. Having each leg pulled out slowly is too good for those nasty little shite-heads.
Really, B_C, your only sure defense against them is gasoline and a match and then move somewhere they don't have them.
I know. (sigh.) But there's nowhere that doesn't have them.
I thought about moving to Arizona in the next few years, but if I do that, I'm giving up spiders and roaches for snakes and scorpions. Mother nature is a bitch.
We don't gottem up here. ^-^
Quote from: Barthheart on July 31, 2014, 07:48:37 PM
We don't gottem up here. ^-^
Us neither!!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwwp.greenwichmeantime.com%2Fimages%2Fcanada%2Fnova-scotia.jpg&hash=b5822ac63a90223de8a93ef11a5106ee3c11f5ad)
Nor do you have sunshine.
Sure we do, it's not like we're Newfoundland!
http://weather.gc.ca/city/pages/ns-19_metric_e.html
If the Gulf Stream were to shift, just a bit, it would be like Bermuda here.
No nasty spiders here, either :)
Quote from: bob48 on August 01, 2014, 10:40:08 AM
No nasty spiders here, either :)
But you do have chiggers or chavs or some such thing.
And people from Birmingham.
We have people from Birmingham, too. They are called Auburn fans.
I come from Birmingham - although not the one that you're talking about.
So are you officially a Brummie or a Geordie then?
Quote from: Staggerwing on August 02, 2014, 06:36:13 AM
So are you officially a Brummie or a Geordie then?
I'm a..Geordie-Brummie. We've lived in Newcastle since 1976. Moved here about 18 months after we got married, so we've now lived here longer than we lived in B'Ham.
Quote from: MetalDog on July 31, 2014, 02:35:32 PM
More than likely, she got it from pulling a shirt over her head from the closet. It's possible that she got it in bed, but, it's a fallacy that Recluse hang out in your bed and wait to bite you. The bed thing is usually caused by the bed being under a vent or light fixture and the little bastards drop down and land on the bed. You roll over on them and they commence to biting you.
Exactly.
I wasn't implying that they're lying in wait under your covers. Just that they tend to do their cruisin' about after the lights are off. Sometimes on your neck.
Sleep tight! ;)
My bed is under both a vent *and* a light fixture.
Fuck me.
Lived in Anchorage, Alaska for six wonderful years. No snakes, no spiders!
Of course, moose in my front yard were common, a black bear was tranquilized in my back yard, and then there were wolves...and snow...and lack of sunlight.
Still...beats the hell out of spiders and snakes. O0
I could live with all of that. Being a vampire, the lack of sunlight in particular wouldn't bother me.
On the other hand, the purported lack of women up there... :P
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquicklol.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F03%2Fboobs-theyre-more-afraid-of-you.jpg&hash=6d7cd4a809df3af626405deaa82b2816f362855a)
...And I would like to thank Star -- not for the first time -- for almost choking to death trying to avoid a Force-4 soda-spew. Fuck, that was funny. :2funny:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhotdigest.com%2Fimages%2F14095898678.gif&hash=7848338bcb1e03871f9441766065b29a01564778)
well..... at least you know shes not afraid to put things in her mouth. ^-^
Or take things off. Read her hat.
Quote from: Mr. Bigglesworth on September 01, 2014, 07:12:48 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhotdigest.com%2Fimages%2F14095898678.gif&hash=7848338bcb1e03871f9441766065b29a01564778)
What. The. Fuck.
<vomit>
^^ "Tee hee! And then it goes into my ear!"
Have faith, boys. This just proves some women will put anything in their mouths. :-*
Yeah, if Martok met her in a bar (near to her trailer park), and she left her spider at home, he'd go for her. She'd show him a good time. 8)
She could be keeping spiders in other places...
If a spider can get in and out of there freely, Martok is going to have to strap a 2' by 4' to his ass so he doesn't fall in.
if she likes spiders that much then shes used to little pricks. ;)
(https://farm7.staticflickr.com/6040/6428900779_9bee2b954a_b.jpg)
This may not scare even Martok... >:D
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2745007/Giant-mutant-spider-dog-let-loose-unsuspecting-public-hilarious-online-prank.html
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2014%2F09%2F05%2F1409921045814_wps_1_Polish_prankster_Sylweste.jpg&hash=aa0ee550cde0f3e441a942cc938a549e6e82e8ec)
Ha. Now *that's* funny!
That vid's hilarious.
I came to post it, but figured someone had already done so in this thread. ;D
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507
i have a slipper ready for 'em
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 12:19:50 PM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507
i have a slipper ready for 'em
I saw that a couple of days ago.
Here in the US we just call Metal Dog.
Quote from: LongBlade on September 19, 2014, 12:26:08 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 12:19:50 PM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507
i have a slipper ready for 'em
I saw that a couple of days ago.
Here in the US we just call Metal Dog.
is his 'man licence' international?
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 12:19:50 PM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507
i have a slipper ready for 'em
I thought Ziggy Stardust already did this.
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 12:19:50 PM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507
i have a slipper ready for 'em
Ugh!! :buck2:
Well, I've been thinking about upgrading my flamethrower. If so, I could send you the old one!
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 12:31:38 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on September 19, 2014, 12:26:08 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 12:19:50 PM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507
i have a slipper ready for 'em
I saw that a couple of days ago.
Here in the US we just call Metal Dog.
is his 'man licence' international?
Yup. You just have to provide transportation, lodging and square it with my boss for the time off. If you are truly terrified of the prospect, get some glueboards, cardboard with sticky stuff on them, and place them around the room next to the baseboards. That'll help immensely. Although, you'll have to see the results of your spider wrangling and you may not be pleased with the results. YMMV
pffft ill watch a spider stuck to a glue board all day :knuppel2:
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it. I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards. Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.
Quote from: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 01:15:24 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it. I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards. Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.
Jeebus! Where do you live?? :o
Dixie
Quote from: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 01:15:24 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it. I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards. Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.
I'd say you filled your Man Card quota for the quarter.
Quote from: Ubercat on September 20, 2014, 01:18:22 PM
Quote from: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 01:15:24 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it. I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards. Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.
Jeebus! Where do you live?? :o
'Bama.
Quote from: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 01:15:24 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it. I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards. Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.
Jesus fuck!! That's over eight of the little bastards every day! :o So glad I live up north.
That's just the ones that were caught ;) The glueboard with the most had 51 on it.
you should put one in the mail and send it to Martok.
Given how many of you yahoos here live south of the Mason-Dixon line, any package received from that region automatically gets X-rayed -- that, or simply burned, sight unseen. :P
my dad and his brothers used to mail roaches to each other during college.
ROFL! That had to have made for an interesting educational experience...
Roach postage between Tulane Carnegie and NYU.
Happy Christmas Martok
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F1600x1200q90%2F902%2FkMiJkP.jpg&hash=1b94428b80acef957be703704a1b8d4651577d3e) (https://imageshack.com/i/p2kMiJkPj)
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 25, 2014, 04:13:03 AM
Happy Christmas Martok
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F1600x1200q90%2F902%2FkMiJkP.jpg&hash=1b94428b80acef957be703704a1b8d4651577d3e) (https://imageshack.com/i/p2kMiJkPj)
Martok might buy them for the irony of stomping on them!
Makes you wonder if other mammals have an aversion to spiders. Would a dog or cat react strongly to the spider slippers?
Quote from: Mr. Bigglesworth on September 25, 2014, 11:37:37 PM
Makes you wonder if other mammals have an aversion to spiders. Would a dog or cat react strongly to the spider slippers?
My dogs attack spiders without hesitation.
My dachshund has on more than one occasion flicked his tongue around as if he were bitten. But showed no ill effects.
My old cat didn't care for them either.
I suspect my pack, upon seeing said abominable slippers, would descent with righteous fury upon them and leave little but stuffing in their wake.
Quote from: LongBlade on September 25, 2014, 10:47:22 AM
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 25, 2014, 04:13:03 AM
Happy Christmas Martok
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F1600x1200q90%2F902%2FkMiJkP.jpg&hash=1b94428b80acef957be703704a1b8d4651577d3e) (https://imageshack.com/i/p2kMiJkPj)
Martok might buy them for the irony of stomping on them!
I might...except I would also probably mistake them for actual giant spiders in the middle of the night while half-sleep, scream like a little girl, then promptly have a heart attack and die. ::) :-[
Think of the power and irony as you destroy them...
Quote from: LongBlade on September 25, 2014, 11:39:46 PM
Quote from: Mr. Bigglesworth on September 25, 2014, 11:37:37 PM
Makes you wonder if other mammals have an aversion to spiders. Would a dog or cat react strongly to the spider slippers?
My dogs attack spiders without hesitation.
My dachshund has on more than one occasion flicked his tongue around as if he were bitten. But showed no ill effects.
My old cat didn't care for them either.
I suspect my pack, upon seeing said abominable slippers, would descent with righteous fury upon them and leave little but stuffing in their wake.
You have to test that. Will he dash in with courage or weiner out?
I should think they would be pretty hard to walk in. You would be forever tripping over your own...legs.
If you're taking wee baby steps, sure you'll trip. If you're taking man-sized manly spider steps, no worries.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1536496_610171489047945_28020543_n.jpg?oh=cf54b6d3e3df0704dbe1b0d255ae60ec&oe=54C59E29&__gda__=1418128069_1ef1cad4f0ccbb7aa8c33e0e79a0edac)
This is a series of photos a couple of girls took. You've gotta see them all to appreciate the sequence.
Martok, steel yourself.
http://imgfave.com/view/4800517?u=177043
Quote from: LongBlade on September 30, 2014, 09:44:36 AM
This is a series of photos a couple of girls took. You've gotta see them all to appreciate the sequence.
Martok, steel yourself.
http://imgfave.com/view/4800517?u=177043
:2funny:
O0
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on September 29, 2014, 11:18:59 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1536496_610171489047945_28020543_n.jpg?oh=cf54b6d3e3df0704dbe1b0d255ae60ec&oe=54C59E29&__gda__=1418128069_1ef1cad4f0ccbb7aa8c33e0e79a0edac)
Well you don't want to burn down the house, so I recommend a sledgehammer.
Quote from: LongBlade on September 30, 2014, 09:44:36 AM
This is a series of photos a couple of girls took. You've gotta see them all to appreciate the sequence.
Martok, steel yourself.
http://imgfave.com/view/4800517?u=177043
LOL!
Okay, that's pretty funny. Reminds me of the time (which I believe I related here) when I was half-asleep and startled completely awake by a small spider just a few inches from my face.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3-ec.buzzfed.com%2Fstatic%2F2014-10%2F1%2F15%2Fenhanced%2Fwebdr04%2Fenhanced-18188-1412191209-3.png&hash=e9c677d407dacdc2bde6fcb6b9ddc02fd24fb377)
^ LMAO
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F1280x1024q90%2F674%2FPN0aRN.jpg&hash=59f6da23bc3e4e503f67982edbac4534c8d6c505) (https://imageshack.com/i/iqPN0aRNj)
...spiderboating?
Spider-bagging?
something useful for Martok: http://complete-health-and-happiness.com/9-natural-ways-keep-spiders-home-2/
Quote from: bayonetbrant on October 08, 2014, 09:34:06 PM
something useful for Martok: http://complete-health-and-happiness.com/9-natural-ways-keep-spiders-home-2/
Fire is natural.
Quote from: LongBlade on October 08, 2014, 09:42:21 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on October 08, 2014, 09:34:06 PM
something useful for Martok: http://complete-health-and-happiness.com/9-natural-ways-keep-spiders-home-2/
Fire is natural.
Heh, my thoughts exactly. ;) Although I'm amused by the thought of keeping them away with peppermint as well.
QuoteA home with prime views of the third and fourth holes at Whitmoor Country Club has been vacant for two years because of a creepy crawly problem.
The home was infested with between 4,500 and 6,000 brown recluse spiders, according to one estimate.
The previous homeowners abandoned the 2,400-square-foot atrium ranch after years of pesticide treatments couldn't curb the invasion.
source: http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/extreme-case-of-brown-recluse-spiders-drives-owners-from-weldon/article_02e0dcb3-a772-5c47-84ce-ede4e21df346.html
I read that story back on Friday as well. I knew it wouldn't be long before it got posted here. :P
Yeah, reading that definitely gave me the heebie-jeebies; I can scarcely even imagine the horror. :-\ I feel bad for the owners too, essentially getting screwed/stiffed by both the previous owners and the insurance company.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.viralnova.com%2F000%2F081%2F257%2Fdesktop-1412694523.png&hash=13bebee00adfd148b2b9823ec5562b7e07ad6e11)
Waitin' to catch himself a nice n' tasty little Hyundai no doubt.
When he's done with 'em the family inside will resemble the stick-figure decals on their back window...
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on October 13, 2014, 08:36:01 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.viralnova.com%2F000%2F081%2F257%2Fdesktop-1412694523.png&hash=13bebee00adfd148b2b9823ec5562b7e07ad6e11)
Meh. Photoshop.
nope. it was an actual thing in England.
And then, for no particular reason, our cat went missing...
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on October 13, 2014, 11:40:27 PM
nope. it was an actual thing in England.
http://www.viralnova.com/giant-spider/
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on October 14, 2014, 08:24:28 AM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on October 13, 2014, 11:40:27 PM
nope. it was an actual thing in England.
http://www.viralnova.com/giant-spider/
WTF??! He moved the web so that the giant spider wouldn't be disturbed?? :o
There's something seriously messed up with that guy...
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2014-10-10-0959.png&hash=91cc79d409c12132cc6db252d852ed78beada89c)
^ And that's when I would move. To another town, at the very least.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on October 14, 2014, 08:24:28 AM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on October 13, 2014, 11:40:27 PM
nope. it was an actual thing in England.
http://www.viralnova.com/giant-spider/
Wow. Learn something new every day. Looks a lot like our orb spinners, but about ten times larger.
Spider burrows into mans scar
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/10/16/spider-burrows-dylan-thomass-appendix-scar-sternum_n_5994802.html?icid=maing-grid7|uk|dl1|sec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D300660
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Quote from: undercovergeek on October 16, 2014, 09:54:15 AM
Spider burrows into mans scar
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/10/16/spider-burrows-dylan-thomass-appendix-scar-sternum_n_5994802.html?icid=maing-grid7|uk|dl1|sec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D300660
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
If that doesn't do it, the "See Also" section should send Martok into a 72 hour hold.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........................when it's that big, just shoot the damn thing!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl3.yimg.com%2Fbt%2Fapi%2Fres%2F1.2%2FDht9TFqT2uLyP6eaDCG3og--%2FYXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTM4MztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz01NzU-%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fmedia.zenfs.com%2Fen_US%2FNews%2FLiveScience.com%2Ftheraphosa4.jpg1413584886&hash=7939812ef8b0b7a5ad4896bf1e314367515fd809)
http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html (http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html)
BURN THE RAINFOREST!!!!!!
CAN'T - TOO SOGGY!
Napalm burns everything... soggy or not! O0
I dunno.... looks friendly enough.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on October 18, 2014, 07:16:46 PM
I dunno.... looks friendly enough.
That's what he said...before he married her and later she took half his stuff. O:-)
Maybe it plays the harp.
Quote from: Steelgrave on October 18, 2014, 03:40:10 PM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........................when it's that big, just shoot the damn thing!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl3.yimg.com%2Fbt%2Fapi%2Fres%2F1.2%2FDht9TFqT2uLyP6eaDCG3og--%2FYXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTM4MztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz01NzU-%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fmedia.zenfs.com%2Fen_US%2FNews%2FLiveScience.com%2Ftheraphosa4.jpg1413584886&hash=7939812ef8b0b7a5ad4896bf1e314367515fd809)
http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html (http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html)
Holy hell, that's enormous!
I'm gonna need a bigger flame-thrower.
Or maybe one of these:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.zinnfigur.com%2Fimages%2F6%2F4%2F6038_4072614.JPG&hash=fe0043a6b81c687064c55ad86a1af78fabda0e13)
Good point. Squishing one with heavy tread would be better than with my shoe...
Quote from: Staggerwing on October 20, 2014, 05:14:47 AM
Or maybe one of these:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.zinnfigur.com%2Fimages%2F6%2F4%2F6038_4072614.JPG&hash=fe0043a6b81c687064c55ad86a1af78fabda0e13)
Why use commie crap?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.combatreform.org%2FAVREflamethrowerrearview.jpg&hash=866f1be4ee9d783518aa7dd1e06c00246e57c59f)
I was generalizing. 8)
I was actually looking for a Flammpanzer but ran out of time and had to go to work so I threw that one out there instead.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl3.yimg.com%2Fbt%2Fapi%2Fres%2F1.2%2FDht9TFqT2uLyP6eaDCG3og--%2FYXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTM4MztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz01NzU-%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fmedia.zenfs.com%2Fen_US%2FNews%2FLiveScience.com%2Ftheraphosa4.jpg1413584886&hash=7939812ef8b0b7a5ad4896bf1e314367515fd809)
If that thing ever laid eggs in your ear, it could be considered rape.
so spider zen.
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10440746_757006624335422_3691966494003292943_n.jpg?oh=072cff79f90a659e04f3544dbbfc4ec5&oe=54EF39BC)
to put it in GH format, could you imagine Gus with my life.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdrinkingcinema.com%2Fuli%2FN5X.gif&hash=742bb0b7a0e6901f69b818f5b5065a5365ecddac)
I've seen that exploding head video before. What the hell is that from?
Scanners
A forgettable movie long ensconced in the consciousness of our generation due to that exploding head thing.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthechive.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F10%2Fhalloween-decorations-7.jpg%3Fw%3D600%26amp%3Bh%3D449&hash=ff3716177843a7d025cc3f4638014d9fc0d2fe93)
Quote from: mirth on October 23, 2014, 06:13:32 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthechive.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F10%2Fhalloween-decorations-7.jpg%3Fw%3D600%26amp%3Bh%3D449&hash=ff3716177843a7d025cc3f4638014d9fc0d2fe93)
Is that Australia? :2funny:
If someone went up and painted a fiddle on the back of the one over the garage, that would be in Tennessee. :D
Nice insect humor, Jason!
F that house. I can't imagine any little ones wanting to go near it! Which actually might be the point, in which case...bravo. :coolsmiley:
Quote from: mirth on October 23, 2014, 06:13:32 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthechive.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F10%2Fhalloween-decorations-7.jpg%3Fw%3D600%26amp%3Bh%3D449&hash=ff3716177843a7d025cc3f4638014d9fc0d2fe93)
That is...disturbingly creative. I can't quite bring myself to applaud, but that's well done.
21 pages based on one mans phobia. :2funny:
Heh. I have to admit, when BC started this thread back at the beginning of the year, it never occurred to me it would still be going strong like this ten months down the road. :P
to be fair we lost page 2-4 to wanky puns
Yeah, they did an album called 'Slow Hand'.
they really mastered the beat
Novel use of the Slide Organ as well
(^Did I read a UCG pun just now?)
nope >:(
:uglystupid2:
he has been assimilated.
Bad news Martok. The spiders have arrived.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1252.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh561%2Fgrovesby%2FCapture_zpse92468ed.png&hash=e92f2cf30df20e1183aed9e7ebdd207d1820cb3c)
I saw that- WTF are they? More Gummint Creepshow?
Dunno, but one of them asked me where he could find Martok. I pointed to the Lingerie Channel.
Quote from: mirth on October 26, 2014, 09:56:17 AM
Dunno, but one of them asked me where he could find Martok. I pointed to the Lingerie Channel.
Ho! Time to run for cover.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstream1.gifsoup.com%2Fview%2F249712%2Ftrapdoor-spider-wtf-o.gif&hash=301516dbe6ddf62a6f6c25d994b70888cb52e815)
Quote from: mirth on October 26, 2014, 09:56:17 AM
Dunno, but one of them asked me where he could find Martok. I pointed to the Lingerie Channel.
Bring it! I'll be ready with my flamethrower tank.
Martok's ready to werf some flammen!
Last time he did that he had to take the horse pill.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2014-10-28-0971.png&hash=e925cbc16159d5e657d07d74d1ffe8c0f65a6e02)
Quote from: Barthheart on October 28, 2014, 06:57:38 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2014-10-28-0971.png&hash=e925cbc16159d5e657d07d74d1ffe8c0f65a6e02)
Ha!
Note to Martok: Stay out of Baltimore
http://www.wired.com/2014/10/4-acre-spider-web-engulfs-building/
QuoteHow many spiders does it take to creep you out? 10? 100? How many spiders make an "extreme spider situation"?
The Baltimore Wastewater Treatment Plant put out a call for "extreme spider" help in 2009, when a giant spiderweb covered almost 4 acres of their facility. Scientists eventually estimated over 107 million spiders were living in the structure, with densities of 35,176 spiders per m³ in spots.
Greene, A et al. (2010). An Immense Concentration of Orb-Weaving Spiders With Communal Webbing in a Man-Made Structural Habitat (Arachnida: Araneae: Tetragnathidae, Araneidae). American Entomologist, 56 (3), 146-156.
The "immense" in their title doesn't really begin to cover it. From the paper:
Quote"We were unprepared for the sheer scale of the spider population and the extraordinary masses of both three dimensional and sheet-like webbing that blanketed much of the facility's cavernous interior. Far greater in magnitude than any previously recorded aggregation of orb-weavers, the visual impact of the spectacle was was nothing less than astonishing.
In places where the plant workers had swept aside the webbing to access equipment, the silk lay piled on the floor in rope-like clumps as thick as a fire hose."
Remember, that paragraph was written by 5 mid-career professional entomologists and arachnologists. If they were a bit startled by the size of the web....it was a big freakin' web.
Quote from: bayonetbrant on October 31, 2014, 03:26:20 PM
Note to Martok: Stay out of Baltimore
http://www.wired.com/2014/10/4-acre-spider-web-engulfs-building/
QuoteHow many spiders does it take to creep you out? 10? 100? How many spiders make an "extreme spider situation"?
The Baltimore Wastewater Treatment Plant put out a call for "extreme spider" help in 2009, when a giant spiderweb covered almost 4 acres of their facility. Scientists eventually estimated over 107 million spiders were living in the structure, with densities of 35,176 spiders per m³ in spots.
Greene, A et al. (2010). An Immense Concentration of Orb-Weaving Spiders With Communal Webbing in a Man-Made Structural Habitat (Arachnida: Araneae: Tetragnathidae, Araneidae). American Entomologist, 56 (3), 146-156.
The "immense" in their title doesn't really begin to cover it. From the paper:
Quote"We were unprepared for the sheer scale of the spider population and the extraordinary masses of both three dimensional and sheet-like webbing that blanketed much of the facility's cavernous interior. Far greater in magnitude than any previously recorded aggregation of orb-weavers, the visual impact of the spectacle was was nothing less than astonishing.
In places where the plant workers had swept aside the webbing to access equipment, the silk lay piled on the floor in rope-like clumps as thick as a fire hose."
Remember, that paragraph was written by 5 mid-career professional entomologists and arachnologists. If they were a bit startled by the size of the web....it was a big freakin' web.
Wowsers.
Orb weavers are about the size of a half dollar when grown. I can't imagine a hundred and seven in a four acre area, nevermind 107 MILLION!
Yeah, and 37,000 in a cubic meter.
It boggles the mind.
It's a weaving conspiracy.
WTF do they eat when they are that dense? Besides each others silk?
babies and hot redheads mostly.....
its just a stop on their exodus to Martok's home. >:D
Maybe they are training to take over the interwebs. They have a cunning plan. It involves Martok.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F33.media.tumblr.com%2F09218f6df8c8ff7f8a6e819877f37fe5%2Ftumblr_ncxu9nLwsC1qh0kooo1_400.gif&hash=79fb6b67f8dd7904cfb184ab97d7253a596bc58f)
That's it. I'm moving to Mars.
that last one may or may not be on another solar planet. ::) but its not on this one.
Quote from: Martok on November 01, 2014, 01:27:40 PM
That's it. I'm moving to Mars.
Not so fast:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnathanpenning.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F02%2Fmars1.jpg&hash=236bfbc35d44292717dca8d6c2bb4e71c67b610f)
Marktok, if you don't like music too much maybe you can try surgery to cure your phobia:
QuoteA 44-year-old businessman started suffering unexplained seizures, and when doctors investigated they found an abnormality in his brain: a damaged left amygdala.
As New Scientist reported Friday, after doctors cut out the man's damaged left amygdala, the man started noticing that he'd lost a fear — and gained a loathing.
While he had previously suffered from arachnophobia — a fear of spiders — the man found after surgery that he wasn't scared of spiders anymore, but that he had picked up a "stomach-lurching" disgust for music.
source: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/11/01/he-was-scared-of-spiders-then-doctors-cut-a-chunk-of-his-brain-out-and-something-strange-happened/
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/559563_984108778285120_2765933038898801372_n.jpg?oh=3c99325c125fc9a45414f9f45ddd4105&oe=54EF4AD5&__gda__=1423426647_70cc128a9564e6b507187eb8d3eb7b07)
:2funny:
Quote from: LongBlade on November 01, 2014, 01:51:55 PM
Marktok, if you don't like music too much maybe you can try surgery to cure your phobia:
QuoteA 44-year-old businessman started suffering unexplained seizures, and when doctors investigated they found an abnormality in his brain: a damaged left amygdala.
As New Scientist reported Friday, after doctors cut out the man's damaged left amygdala, the man started noticing that he'd lost a fear — and gained a loathing.
While he had previously suffered from arachnophobia — a fear of spiders — the man found after surgery that he wasn't scared of spiders anymore, but that he had picked up a "stomach-lurching" disgust for music.
source: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/11/01/he-was-scared-of-spiders-then-doctors-cut-a-chunk-of-his-brain-out-and-something-strange-happened/
Thanks, but I'm not *that* arachnophobic. Some sacrifices aren't worth it. :)
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on November 01, 2014, 02:59:06 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/559563_984108778285120_2765933038898801372_n.jpg?oh=3c99325c125fc9a45414f9f45ddd4105&oe=54EF4AD5&__gda__=1423426647_70cc128a9564e6b507187eb8d3eb7b07)
ROFL!
Just how drunk to Dalmatians have to be for that to happen...?
Also, regarding what those spiders ate: it's a wastewater treatment plant for a city. The gnat and midge population, and related insects, must have been proportionately massive.
Quote from: JasonPratt on November 02, 2014, 04:03:32 PM
Also, regarding what those spiders ate: it's a wastewater treatment plant for a city. The gnat and midge population, and related insects, must have been proportionately massive.
Good point.
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/videos/Gallery/ab/video_gallery/british-pop-star-finds-spider-living-in-her-ear/2312993038001/2312993038001_0
Better cover your orifices at night.
Quote from: Mr. Bigglesworth on November 04, 2014, 02:32:56 PM
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/videos/Gallery/ab/video_gallery/british-pop-star-finds-spider-living-in-her-ear/2312993038001/2312993038001_0
Better cover your orifices at night.
I'll just have to risk it. Wearing ear-plugs on a regular/long-term basis seems to give me headaches for some reason. :-\
Quote from: Martok on November 04, 2014, 02:54:03 PM
Quote from: Mr. Bigglesworth on November 04, 2014, 02:32:56 PM
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/videos/Gallery/ab/video_gallery/british-pop-star-finds-spider-living-in-her-ear/2312993038001/2312993038001_0
Better cover your orifices at night.
I'll just have to risk it. Wearing ear-plugs on a regular/long-term basis seems to give me headaches for some reason. :-\
That's the spiders who nested in there trying to bite their way out of your skull. ;)
Still here means they are nesting on the site.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1076.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw447%2FRobert_Ellis48%2F10388075_10152534988572057_5054312328720513531_n_zps24db5a4e.jpg&hash=5963de5292b5244e3c4a266962995dc372e75a63)
^ A good chart, if a little more specific than necessary.
All I really need are two categories: "Destroy With Extreme Prejudice" and "Flee For Your Life". :P
Quote from: Martok on November 05, 2014, 03:57:07 PM
^ A good chart, if a little more specific than necessary.
All I really need are two categories: "Destroy With Extreme Prejudice" and "Flee For Your Life". :P
We've got your back if you ever need to flee. (https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FSmilies%2Ftiger.gif&hash=73bdbe915d1d1f9767723ffb4fd42fb12fa45a55)
I don't. I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on November 05, 2014, 10:11:07 PM
I don't. I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsevered-cinema.com%2Fimages%2Fijkl%2Fkingdom-of-spiders%2Fkingdom-of-the-spiders-dvd-04.jpg&hash=45d988c1c0628307779a5dcbb133a59d8223bfe9)
I remember seeing a behind-the-scenes shot of some movie with lots of of tarantulas. It might even have been that one. All the spiders were under upside down glasses, waiting to be uncovered when the actor was in place and the cameras started to roll.
Quote from: bob48 on November 05, 2014, 01:41:27 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1076.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw447%2FRobert_Ellis48%2F10388075_10152534988572057_5054312328720513531_n_zps24db5a4e.jpg&hash=5963de5292b5244e3c4a266962995dc372e75a63)
HA! Thanks, Bawb! I stole this for my Facebook page. I have friends and family in spider-plagued Oklahoma who will find this chart handy.
You're very welcome, Steelie ;)
Heading to an Okie near you?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wired.com%2Fimages_blogs%2Fwiredscience%2F2010%2F01%2Fcerbalus2.jpg&hash=aba30a6b96b0e8b6bde4f6f09cec2bcefbe9dbb3)
Yes, a spider eating a bird!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.telegraph.co.uk%2Fmultimedia%2Farchive%2F01080%2Fearth-graphics-200_1080292a.jpg&hash=b8c09ac2b31190b0de38a4deb5c3b81f54195371)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F1280x1024q90%2F540%2FqF6Uh7.jpg&hash=d759e79483bb8ef8303075e8ef1b83ad51882a64) (https://imageshack.com/i/f0qF6Uh7j)
for a morale boost, and just to let Martok know Jesus is on his side i give you the Tarantula Hawk Wasp
she doesnt eat him, she lays an egg inside him, that egg hatches and he eats the tarantula from the inside, slowly, over a long period
fk you tarantula!!
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on November 05, 2014, 10:11:07 PM
I don't. I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on November 05, 2014, 10:11:07 PM
I don't. I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.
You'll only see me run from tiny spiders if there's an awful bloody lot of them...
such as in that water treatment plant. :buck2:
Quote from: undercovergeek on November 06, 2014, 09:57:06 AM
for a morale boost, and just to let Martok know Jesus is on his side i give you the Tarantula Hawk Wasp
she doesnt eat him, she lays an egg inside him, that egg hatches and he eats the tarantula from the inside, slowly, over a long period
fk you tarantula!!
LOL! Thanks
geek. You know how to cheer a fellow right up. O0
Here's another little tidbit, the mud daubers here find spiders, paralyze them, and then wall them in with their eggs so the new mud daubers have something to eat after they are born.
I like wasps about as much as spiders. Those little assholes. >:(
Quote from: MetalDog on November 06, 2014, 07:52:33 PM
Here's another little tidbit, the mud daubers here find spiders, paralyze them, and then wall them in with their eggs so the new mud daubers have something to eat after they are born.
Yeah, that's where I kinda draw the line. Martok isn't going to like it, but I sorta feel bad for the spiders at that point.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Ff4%2Fd9%2F91%2Ff4d99189aac1e4eea7fd407afc2784a1.jpg&hash=3704188ed20470ed8a3c41067f6c48f577e47f56)
LOL Star
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Furl%3Fsa%3Di%26amp%3Bsource%3Dimages%26amp%3Bcd%3D%26amp%3Bved%3D0CAUQjBw%26amp%3Burl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fift.tt%252F1nzlGk3%26amp%3Bei%3Dd-9cVNiMG9iqyAT-u4CAAQ%26amp%3Bpsig%3DAFQjCNE2vwxJPAVgY96WWa6IPkiIpsHrAA%26amp%3Bust%3D1415463159487881&hash=ecbba3018b6c73c5180d4eb7ee44f93b291fbb9e)
Wasps are not bad, they are an important cleanup crew like ants. Janitors if you will. They get belligerent in the fall apparently when they switch from regular food to fermented stores. Yes, they are angry drunks.
This was already posted here elsewhere, but it's worth posting again:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FFunny%2F10338845_662858813749603_4255932202399544138_n_zps0ea6db2b.jpg&hash=ed14fed5a15b914ec21f4567f0ceffbe95c6f926)
;D
this at the foot of the forum, 22:55 GMT 10/11/2014
48 Guests, 17 Users (9 Spiders)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The spiders have come to see Martok....
They always do.
Of course they always do!
After all, slightly more than half the users (not guests) who logged on when UGeek made that check were
ACTUALLY SPIDERS IN DISGUISE!
Odds are reasonably good you've been talking to spiders the whole time, Martok, and you didn't even notice us. Them. I meant them. Like the ants in that movie.
I wave my mandibles arms at Jason in agreement.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi747.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fxx120%2FStaggerwing%2Fde2b549356f356254860c8f86bd8db7b_zpsfb8edbe3.jpg&hash=d468a2fe75e6e0a64ea4930b41a6df360556943e)
He said he knew you. Then he tried to climb into my beer. Can you vouch for him?
Martok is a huge fan of Next Generation. Hopefully he'll heed this message:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnorama.com%2Fwp-content%2Fimages%2F2013%2F02%2Ffunny-pictures-819%2F29-funny-pictures-819.jpg&hash=ded69ee4d6f9063e09fc2880262cbcc834eabe85)
{rushing off to trademark "Zombiespiderpolcalypse" and then sell it to Asylum and/or SyFy}
Quote from: JasonPratt on November 15, 2014, 09:23:59 AM
{rushing off to trademark "Zombiespiderpolcalypse" and then sell it to Asylum and/or SyFy}
Spidernado?
Arachnado?
Arachnicane!
Quote from: Staggerwing on November 14, 2014, 06:44:22 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi747.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fxx120%2FStaggerwing%2Fde2b549356f356254860c8f86bd8db7b_zpsfb8edbe3.jpg&hash=d468a2fe75e6e0a64ea4930b41a6df360556943e)
He said he knew you. Then he tried to climb into my beer. Can you vouch for him?
Well played! Very well played!!!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.smosh.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fftpuploads%2Fbloguploads%2Fsarcastic-clapping-captain-picard.gif&hash=3c2d9beca40b30fb0375ba9202cb27067642598a)
Bonus points -no Aveeno in the bkgd
Quote from: Staggerwing on November 14, 2014, 06:44:22 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi747.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fxx120%2FStaggerwing%2Fde2b549356f356254860c8f86bd8db7b_zpsfb8edbe3.jpg&hash=d468a2fe75e6e0a64ea4930b41a6df360556943e)
He said he knew you. Then he tried to climb into my beer. Can you vouch for him?
Okay, I have to admit that one made me laugh.
Quote from: LongBlade on November 15, 2014, 12:19:25 AM
Martok is a huge fan of Next Generation. Hopefully he'll heed this message:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnorama.com%2Fwp-content%2Fimages%2F2013%2F02%2Ffunny-pictures-819%2F29-funny-pictures-819.jpg&hash=ded69ee4d6f9063e09fc2880262cbcc834eabe85)
Fortunately, I'm not a believer in the zombie apocalypse. :P
Quote from: Martok on November 17, 2014, 01:28:54 PMFortunately, I'm not a believer in the zombie apocalypse. :P
yeah, well there are also people that don'tbelieve violence solves anything, until they get punched in the face! ;)
Arachnicane ftw!
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1530368_10202177589720786_7356714505749676008_n.jpg?oh=84a5669d97dddd90ed8bdc9fe9330968&oe=550B2463)
^ Doubly amusing for me, as I once slept with a woman named Cinnamon (yes, really).
Quote from: Martok on December 02, 2014, 02:41:59 AM
^ Doubly amusing for me, as I once slept with a woman named Cinnamon (yes, really).
OK, that is a story just begging to be told.
I'd ask if she was a stripper, but what's funny is I know a lady named Cinnamon here locally, and she's super attractive, not just physically. And no, she's not a stripper.
In high school I dated a girl named bunny.
She was far too sweet to deserve how that name could be misinterpreted.
You all have lived such rich lives!
Quote from: LongBlade on December 02, 2014, 07:08:02 AM
Quote from: Martok on December 02, 2014, 02:41:59 AM
^ Doubly amusing for me, as I once slept with a woman named Cinnamon (yes, really).
OK, that is a story just begging to be told.
Heh. Not sure if it's all that interesting really, but I'll give you the short version:
Two years ago, during the summer and autumn, Cinnamon had been a recurring long-term guest staying at one of the hotels I work at. There'd been a teeny-tiny bit of flirting between the two of us, but I'd never made anything of it. Anyway, on her last night staying at the hotel (which just happened to be one of my nights off), I was in town running errands and visiting friends. After doing so, I then swung by the hotel to say hello to my friend who was working the night shift, ran into Cinnamon while I was there, and...well, essentially one thing led to another. ::)
If you want the longer, (somewhat) funnier version, we'll probably have to sit down over a couple beers. :P
Ha!
OK, we'll have some beer.
I worked with a girl named 'Sandy Lots'. A friend was hittin that for awhile too.
Despite people asking her whether that was her porn name after every introduction, she took it with a sense of humor. Didn't know if her parents were hippies or just hated her from birth.
MARTOK! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS! YOU WILL BE SCARED!!! Everyone else, carry on.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout
Quote from: MetalDog on December 19, 2014, 07:47:19 PM
MARTOK! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS! YOU WILL BE SCARED!!! Everyone else, carry on.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc04.deviantart.net%2Ffs71%2Ff%2F2014%2F177%2F6%2Fa%2F50_shades_of_fucking_nope_by_dudeofawesomeness-d7o4rew.jpg&hash=f0229c2d176c2d057a99ceefa512af5929d0effb)
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)
Turn and say "You were always my best friend, you know that?"
Then open the door and jump out after aiming the car at a concrete bridge abutment just to be sure.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on December 21, 2014, 05:35:24 AM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)
Clearly the driver's side ejection seat is not an option.
Spider-dress, spider-dress; legs attack and you're in distress... (http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/12/spider-dress_spider-dress_legs_attack_youre_in_dis.php)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.toplessrobot.com%2Fspiderdress.jpg&hash=44bdc5cae662713e0381485d3f3d29064ac00916)
Videos and promotional quotes (with snarky comments) at the Topless Robot link.
Quote from: MetalDog on December 19, 2014, 07:47:19 PM
MARTOK! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS! YOU WILL BE SCARED!!! Everyone else, carry on.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout
Goddammit, I shot the tank. Argh.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on December 21, 2014, 05:35:24 AM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)
Fucking hell. I'm gonna have to start wearing a helmet while I'm in the car.
Quote from: Martok on December 24, 2014, 03:02:43 PM
Quote from: MetalDog on December 19, 2014, 07:47:19 PM
MARTOK! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS! YOU WILL BE SCARED!!! Everyone else, carry on.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout
Goddammit, I shot the tank. Argh.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on December 21, 2014, 05:35:24 AM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)
Fucking hell. I'm gonna have to start wearing a helmet while I'm in the car.
Why? Isn't that how Klingons get those ridges on their heads?
Nah. Both car roofs and spider carapaces are too soft.
A modicum of revenge for you, Martok.
A little (https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FSmilies%2Fnsfw.gif&hash=3fed29c9f1150c7e8124dc3873aaa697f50070cf) would be appropriate.
Quote from: MetalDog on January 26, 2015, 09:48:17 PM
A modicum of revenge for you, Martok.
Yeah, sorry about that. :-[
Quote from: MetalDog on January 27, 2015, 12:30:53 PM
Yeah, sorry about that. :-[
Heh. No worries. Both kids are home today and, well, I was listening without headphones.
I doubt they were paying attention, but...
I was doing several things at one time when I posted it and the little voice in the back of my head telling me to put a NSFW on it got lost in the shuffle.
Quote from: MetalDog on January 27, 2015, 03:31:38 PM
I was doing several things at one time when I posted it and the little voice in the back of my head telling me to put a NSFW on it got lost in the shuffle.
No worries, man. Seriously :)
http://www.answers.com/article/1183871/14-horrifying-reasons-arachnophobes-must-avoid-australia?paramt=21¶m4=fb-demo¶m1=lifestyle¶m2=34707031
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 28, 2015, 02:40:55 AM
http://www.answers.com/article/1183871/14-horrifying-reasons-arachnophobes-must-avoid-australia?paramt=21¶m4=fb-demo¶m1=lifestyle¶m2=34707031
OK, that was pretty horrifying and I'm not afraid of spiders in the least. (https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FSmilies%2Fouttahere.gif&hash=ea1e2ea711fe91a71b66a38d5c13b529e5fdcdc0)
No way am I gonna shoot that tank........
the one sucking the brains out of the birds head was pretty cool.
Martok - FFG is hiring in your neck of the woods
http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=5333
Strangely Fortunately, the position of "Game Center Line Cook" has nothing to do with spiders!
:D
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 28, 2015, 02:40:55 AM
http://www.answers.com/article/1183871/14-horrifying-reasons-arachnophobes-must-avoid-australia?paramt=21¶m4=fb-demo¶m1=lifestyle¶m2=34707031
Already knew most of that. But thanks for the reminder to never go there. :P
Quote from: bayonetbrant on January 28, 2015, 03:05:11 PM
Martok - FFG is hiring in your neck of the woods
http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=5333
Ooh, nice! Thanks for the heads-up
LB. :)
Quote from: bayonetbrant on January 28, 2015, 03:05:11 PMMartok - FFG is hiring in your neck of the woods
http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=5333
Quote from: Martok on February 04, 2015, 11:14:48 AM
Ooh, nice! Thanks for the heads-up LB. :)
ahem... :tickedoff:
::)
you do kinda look the same.
You mean they both kinda look like Willard Scott?
Argh, sorry Brant. I was a little out of it that morning... :-[
Quote from: MetalDog on February 04, 2015, 07:04:02 PM
You mean they both kinda look like Willard Scott?
<snicker>
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8453128704/hBD955C52/)
Id build the 'for sale' sign quicker than the human eye
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on March 04, 2015, 02:34:13 AM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FSmilies%2Fflamethrower.gif&hash=32c07ae57f7e5dae154251eb1b01271a288c0dfd)
^ Yup, definitely time to break out the flame-thrower again!
Where the hell is that??!! Australia? Africa? Some f-ing place far, far away I f-ing hope!! :o :-\
Quote from: Centurion40 on March 09, 2015, 01:20:48 PM
Where the hell is that??!! Australia? Africa? Some f-ing place far, far away I f-ing hope!! :o :-\
Somewhere far, far away like Halifax?
Quote from: Centurion40 on March 09, 2015, 01:20:48 PM
Where the hell is that??!! Australia? Africa? Some f-ing place far, far away I f-ing hope!! :o :-\
I went to the YouTube page for answers. Didn't find a location but some of the comments are LOLz.
Could be somewhere in Florida.
nah, we got lizards, geckos and iguanas and stuff down here to eat em.+
That's true. But they grow'em big like that in F L A. Never seen'em infest a house like that though. I'm all for the flamethrower in that case, too. Too many of the boogers to go in their firing with just pesticide.
Quote from: MetalDog on March 09, 2015, 10:17:33 PM
Could be somewhere in Florida.
Yeah, I'm thinking US for sure. They look like wolf spiders to me.
Quote from: MetalDog on March 09, 2015, 10:21:49 PM
That's true. But they grow'em big like that in F L A. Never seen'em infest a house like that though. I'm all for the flamethrower in that case, too. Too many of the boogers to go in their firing with just pesticide.
One of the comments on YouTube is hilarious - it recommends setting fire to it from the outside. If you do it from the inside they'll all escape :)
Quote from: LongBlade on March 10, 2015, 10:53:46 AM
Quote from: MetalDog on March 09, 2015, 10:21:49 PM
That's true. But they grow'em big like that in F L A. Never seen'em infest a house like that though. I'm all for the flamethrower in that case, too. Too many of the boogers to go in their firing with just pesticide.
One of the comments on YouTube is hilarious - it recommends setting fire to it from the outside. If you do it from the inside they'll all escape :)
Right there, that's good advice.
Seeing all the "Nope" comments is pretty funny too.
I also cracked up at this one:
QuoteTrain them to be your army of the night and become a super-villain.
And its response:
QuoteDoor to Door salesman rings the bell - "Release the Spiders"
;D
Looks like it could be season 2 of Penny Dreadful.
Longblade be like
(https://scontent-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/l/t1.0-9/10670065_741230885965980_6254097764564041880_n.jpg?oh=77f63109be31631096443f024334449a&oe=558690F0)
then Martok be like
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/11042987_10203705178100959_6716970374451018951_n.jpg?oh=302c372a59f768163e0160bae4d04273&oe=5577BCC5&__gda__=1434428200_30db29f57c68b167e06da293bed3659d)
Quote from: bayonetbrant on March 11, 2015, 06:55:10 PM
Longblade be like
(https://scontent-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/l/t1.0-9/10670065_741230885965980_6254097764564041880_n.jpg?oh=77f63109be31631096443f024334449a&oe=558690F0)
then Martok be like
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/11042987_10203705178100959_6716970374451018951_n.jpg?oh=302c372a59f768163e0160bae4d04273&oe=5577BCC5&__gda__=1434428200_30db29f57c68b167e06da293bed3659d)
Well, it looks like if I get Martok I know what his Secret Santa gift is going to be...Heheheheh >:D
Note to self: Make sure flame-thrower is fully topped off at Christmas-time... ;)
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/563462/Brazilian-wandering-spider-bite-gives-men-four-hour-erection-in-Tesco-bananas
uh...
QuoteA mum was scared stiff after opening a bunch of supermarket bananas and finding rare South American spiders - whose bite can give a man a four hour erection.
Unfortunately, it then also kills him.
Shocked Maria Layton, 43, spotted the creepy crawlies after opening the bag of yellow fruit she bought from Tesco.
She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider - the most deadly in the world.
As soon as she discovered the cocoon they started to hatch so she quickly put them in a sealed container in the freezer and called Tesco customer services.
The species is deadly and its venom can kill a human in just two hours - but can also give male victims a painful four-hour erection.
Its venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.
Mother-of-two Maria went to open the bag for her eldest daughter Siri, six, but noticed there was something funny on the side of one of the bananas.
I think we've discussed that spider before. Maybe at that other place we used to hang, but we've been over it before.
In other news, Siri has been around long enough for parents to name their daughters Siri.
Here is a song that sums up my reaction thusly:
(
warning: very, very, very NSFW)
take out the "s" in the "https"
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/11062066_478574225625436_8012296309638151371_n.jpg?oh=aae3fdfe9a3962623b82698e9ae9fdf2&oe=55BBE540&__gda__=1433670897_eb381524b9926fb4e1152b1c6f4b94e8)
^ Ha! Well-said. :P
Quote from: bayonetbrant on March 13, 2015, 09:23:14 AM
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/563462/Brazilian-wandering-spider-bite-gives-men-four-hour-erection-in-Tesco-bananas
uh...
QuoteA mum was scared stiff after opening a bunch of supermarket bananas and finding rare South American spiders - whose bite can give a man a four hour erection.
Unfortunately, it then also kills him.
Shocked Maria Layton, 43, spotted the creepy crawlies after opening the bag of yellow fruit she bought from Tesco.
She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider - the most deadly in the world.
As soon as she discovered the cocoon they started to hatch so she quickly put them in a sealed container in the freezer and called Tesco customer services.
The species is deadly and its venom can kill a human in just two hours - but can also give male victims a painful four-hour erection.
Its venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.
Mother-of-two Maria went to open the bag for her eldest daughter Siri, six, but noticed there was something funny on the side of one of the bananas.
Yeah, I read that story last night. I seem to recall their was a similar story (also in the UK) around a year ago as well.
Oh yeah: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...... :o :-\ :knuppel2:
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on March 17, 2015, 09:55:34 AM
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263
QuoteThat's especially true if the black widows are sexed-up cannibal females.
Sounds like a typical weekend at Mirth's.
QuoteAndrade points to the pink sex toys in the experiment room. "We have vibrators, as ways of stimulating the web. This is actually a really good way of creating regular, predictable stimuli. It's hooked up to some electronics, that allow us to trigger it a particular time or particular duration, and we can measure the actual vibrations produced. We've had some pretty funny encounters with personal stimulatory devices."
Sounds like a typical weekend at Star's.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on March 17, 2015, 09:55:34 AM
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263
Fucking hell!
Quotebut most can survive up to six months without eating. "Which is why they're invasive," says Andrade. "They can get stuck in a box and shipped somewhere, and even if it's months later, they can start reproducing immediately."
That will now keep me from sleeping today... :o :o :o
There's a conspiracy afoot -
Dog walkers always find dead bodies
People who buy bananas always find deadly killer bastards in the fruit
Do not walk dogs or eat bananas - world order restored
And never ever walk dogs eating a banana - only bad things can happen
We don't have many black widows around here -- maybe the fiddlebacks eat them. :-\
But I've seen at least one outbreak in my life, as a boy, a crazy number of black widows that summer. Some so large the little hourglass mark was distended so it didn't even look like an hourglass anymore.
(https://scontent-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10491092_1065238040163873_4496292886381493445_n.jpg?oh=c61a7453649d1942cbcf703ec9d1aaea&oe=55792D08)
^ Not enough to make an appreciable difference in my lifetime...so I'll continue to kill away! 8)
seriously? as thought anything good comes of this...
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1619402_10152776940227671_1462592639954904776_n.jpg?oh=0242c7234082844e34d81dc58cdadb96&oe=55B64B41&__gda__=1437042987_62e5c41678b7fb0af3b5d17adb8c9c7d)
Quote from: bayonetbrant on March 25, 2015, 04:01:19 PM
seriously? as thought anything good comes of this...
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1619402_10152776940227671_1462592639954904776_n.jpg?oh=0242c7234082844e34d81dc58cdadb96&oe=55B64B41&__gda__=1437042987_62e5c41678b7fb0af3b5d17adb8c9c7d)
Sure there is.... Spiderman!
Huh... a Spider Farm... who knew?
http://www.cracked.com/article_22180_5-insane-things-we-recently-discovered-in-human-body.html
Quote#5. There Are Tiny Spiders Living in Your Face Right Now
Also visiting the forum at any given time.
Re sneakier and more deadly -- this seems to have affected snakes in West TN. We used to have at least some friendly snakes. Now they're all touchy and/or mean as hell. The ones with composure got smacked, I guess, and didn't spread their genes effectively.
Btw, stop clawing at your face, Martok.
You'll just make the spiders angry.
"Sorry. There is no upside to this news."
Quote
Those blue things are tiny arachnids known as "Demodex brevis," and they live in your pores right now. Yes, in your pores. Researchers discovered that precisely 100 percent of people examined were home to massive colonies of microscopic face spiders.
As you can imagine, some people react poorly to mites holding massive raves all up in their grills. It's now thought that a common skin condition called rosacea, which leads to rashes and inflammation, might be caused by an immune reaction to these scaled-down Lovecraftian monsters. But, hey, life isn't exactly rosy for our face friends, either: They don't live long, so nature never bothered to give them an ass. They stick around just long enough to gorge themselves, lay eggs, and die. So, that's sort of an upside: At least the millions of arachnids living in your face aren't using it as a port-a-John.
..well thats good, wouldn't want a bunch of spider crap in my pores.
Quote
Oh wait, it says here that they just store all that poop up, and, when they die, it releases all at once, all over your face.
...oh crap :buck2:
Quote from: steve58 on March 26, 2015, 03:35:53 PM
Quote
Oh wait, it says here that they just store all that poop up, and, when they die, it releases all at once, all over your face.
...oh crap :buck2:
Brings an entirely new meaning to the phrase "getting shit faced."
Quote from: bayonetbrant on March 25, 2015, 04:01:19 PM
seriously? as thought anything good comes of this...
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1619402_10152776940227671_1462592639954904776_n.jpg?oh=0242c7234082844e34d81dc58cdadb96&oe=55B64B41&__gda__=1437042987_62e5c41678b7fb0af3b5d17adb8c9c7d)
For my own peace of mind, I'm deciding that this is a Photoshopping job. Because why/how would that be an actual *thing*?? :o
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on March 26, 2015, 07:32:07 AM
http://www.cracked.com/article_22180_5-insane-things-we-recently-discovered-in-human-body.html
Quote#5. There Are Tiny Spiders Living in Your Face Right Now
...And I'm just going to forget I ever read that. :buck2:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2F180.jpg&hash=f9890e2243da80c025abaedfe225d66aaa3fabff)
Quote from: bbmike on April 01, 2015, 06:40:22 AM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2F180.jpg&hash=f9890e2243da80c025abaedfe225d66aaa3fabff)
Ha ha, that's a pretty clever novelty print...!
...they have shadows...
...and at least one has a body extending off the paper...
...ohhhhh crap.
"ohhhhh crap", in more ways than one!! :P
Yeah. At first, I was like, "yeah very funny there are spiders printed on the toilet paper".
Then I was like, "oh wait..." :o
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.
Obviously not good news for the prospective bog-roll user then.
Quote from: MetalDog on April 01, 2015, 07:05:12 PM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.
Well that just makes it 1000 times better. :buck2:
That's a pair of socks you'll never wear again.............
I always check my shoes before putting them on now.
Quote from: MetalDog on April 01, 2015, 07:05:12 PM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.
you're the expert, so I'll take your word for it
Quote from: bayonetbrant on April 02, 2015, 07:59:17 AM
Quote from: MetalDog on April 01, 2015, 07:05:12 PM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.
you're the expert, so I'll take your word for it
I'd like a little better look. A live one if possible, but, they have the right body type and legs.
^^ That's what I was thinking, too, MD. The resolution isn't good enough to tell if they have the fiddle on their backs.
...and obviously, the question is; if they are the wee bairns...where's moma?
(https://synopsissophie.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/a_spider_attacks_eight_legged_freaks_001.jpg)
Cheerio then. I'm off............
Just the image I want to see when I'm heading to bed soon... :buck2:
Quote from: Martok on April 10, 2015, 03:13:48 PM
Just the image I want to see when I'm heading to bed soon... :buck2:
Yeah, but just imagine you have a nice 12 gauge in your hands and that will fix your giant spider problems.
Or maybe an M79 with plenty of reloads
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10458371_10152878058788720_6024488394127180298_n.jpg?oh=ac0fae62534432e64746e3d2103fed64&oe=55E54951&__gda__=1436544071_fe9f711dd0262fa70a58099152ab2732)
If they're a signal that she doesn't want to date me anymore...then congratulations, mission accomplished. ::)
Spider bed, spider bed,
does whatever the spider said.
Can it walk
on the ceiling?
No it can't
it's just a spider-bed.
On the other hand, there are spider beds and there are spider beds. {Googling "drow queen"}
Martok -- going to Chicago (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/05/07/mag-mile-hotel-warns-guests-about-flying-spiders/) anytime soon??
No -- and apparently I won't be ever again, at least not in the spring. :buck2:
Quote from: Martok on May 07, 2015, 04:53:35 PM
No -- and apparently I won't be ever again, at least not in the spring. :buck2:
Keep your windows closed and you'll be fine.
Martok, I hear Australia is real nice...when its not raining spiders (http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/spiders-fall-from-the-sky-in-australia-leaving-what-enthusiasts-call-angel-hair-10249514.html)...
Quote from: steve58 on May 15, 2015, 11:31:23 AM
Martok, I hear Australia is real nice...when its not raining spiders (http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/spiders-fall-from-the-sky-in-australia-leaving-what-enthusiasts-call-angel-hair-10249514.html)...
I saw that but didn't want to give him a heart attack.
No worries, I'd already read the story anyway. They didn't show any pictures, so the trauma was only minor. ;)
Quote from: steve58 on May 15, 2015, 11:31:23 AM
Martok, I hear Australia is real nice...
Right. Because the country (http://www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/) isn't already full of (http://www.thrillist.com/travel/nation/things-in-australia-that-will-kill-you-animals-that-will-try-to-kill-you) plants & animals (http://weknowmemes.com/2013/05/australia-where-everything-is-trying-to-kill-you/) trying to kill you (http://www.cracked.com/funny-5997-the-animals-that-make-australia-deathtrap-it-is/). :P
Quote
No worries, I'd already read the story anyway. They didn't show any pictures, so the trauma was only minor. ;)
Yeah, they showed video instead! :buck2:
Know your enemy, Martok:
QuoteAn agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.
video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html
Quote from: LongBlade on May 24, 2015, 09:21:26 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:
QuoteAn agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.
video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html
Its all fun and games till it leaps on your face.
Quote from: Mr. Bigglesworth on May 24, 2015, 10:37:10 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on May 24, 2015, 09:21:26 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:
QuoteAn agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.
video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html
Its all fun and games till it leaps on your face.
..... and eats your flesh to satiate it's robotic hunger.
Quote from: LongBlade on May 24, 2015, 09:21:26 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:
QuoteAn agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.
video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html
Seeing that somersaulting towards the camera is almost more terrifying than a spider walking normally. :buck2:
Quote from: Martok on May 25, 2015, 01:32:12 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on May 24, 2015, 09:21:26 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:
QuoteAn agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.
video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html
Seeing that somersaulting towards the camera is almost more terrifying than a spider walking normally. :buck2:
Fk that prancing nancy boy - scroll to the bottom of the story for the bat eating spiders!! :o
Yeah, I'm gonna take that with a tall glass of Nope...
Spiders serenade. Who knew?
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-32845010
That is right before they leap on your face.
Dude, it's *always* right before they leap on your face...
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F41.media.tumblr.com%2F8c52a83ecb300cf7a0e281db9af9196c%2Ftumblr_npn46fUXjr1rxxgowo1_500.png&hash=af72e9444c8f66215eebd0af664b1b99a24c07d8)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F40.media.tumblr.com%2F6e7ed09a4296aacb6e09ed48c7a3b00c%2Ftumblr_npn46fUXjr1rxxgowo2_500.png&hash=92b9f75d9110b93992f476218eac088f1efa8a3e)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F40.media.tumblr.com%2F14f822d6d4eee5640e47ff692c4e580d%2Ftumblr_npn46fUXjr1rxxgowo3_500.png&hash=ce2619f61509afb257c5f361393565920ce4dce6)
"Po Po" :))
Good one, Barthheart. ;D
Incidentally, when I got up tonight, there was a spider running down my chest toward my nether regions, and another running over the side of the bed when (upon that initial unpleasant discovery) I flung my sheets back and sprung out of bed. Not how I wanted to start my day. :buck2:
Martok, I've assumed that you regularly bug-bomb your livingspace with those room foggers. Is that not so or have they proven to be of limited effectiveness?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi5.walmartimages.com%2Fdfw%2Fdce07b8c-2b0c%2Fk2-_a64530b1-1aef-4109-8bac-d2d25ea05f76.v1.jpg&hash=d1750677145c525bab48ed5fb388e491f18c45d4)
Your best bet is to use glue traps spread along the baseboards. Spiders are polite enough to use the straight line more than to run will he nil he around the carpet.
^Most of the spiders in my place seem to prefer to traverse the ceiling and then drop down onto their destinations like tiny eight-legged Fallschirmjägeren.
They also like packing boxes.
Quote from: Staggerwing on June 10, 2015, 05:30:07 AM
Martok, I've assumed that you regularly bug-bomb your livingspace with those room foggers. Is that not so or have they proven to be of limited effectiveness?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi5.walmartimages.com%2Fdfw%2Fdce07b8c-2b0c%2Fk2-_a64530b1-1aef-4109-8bac-d2d25ea05f76.v1.jpg&hash=d1750677145c525bab48ed5fb388e491f18c45d4)
They've been of limited effectiveness. My room's on a floor halfway below ground, so they're always invading my space. Regular vacuuming (especially of the corners and ceiling) seems to be more effective.
Quote from: MetalDog on June 10, 2015, 06:11:51 AM
Your best bet is to use glue traps spread along the baseboards. Spiders are polite enough to use the straight line more than to run will he nil he around the carpet.
Good to know
MD, thanks. Hopefully I won't need them as much at my new place (it's a ground floor unit), but I'll bear that in mind, especially when winter comes around again.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on June 10, 2015, 06:38:50 AM
They also like packing boxes.
Yes, I've (re)discovered that a few times in the last week or so already. :-\
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11402938_1266729603340760_6058354214589880893_n.jpg?oh=1aa8b6733c324f843d266c6b9a77ad71&oe=561B6D7E)
Next comes the lawn.
Quote from: MetalDog on June 10, 2015, 06:11:51 AM
than to run will he nil he
???
Do you mean "willy-nilly?" Or am I missing some super-subtle pun that the Hater Of Puns
TM just dropped?
Isn't will he nil he the meaning of willy nilly.?
Zounds (God's wounds)! -- MD is quite correct! O0
Thanks for the confirmation, JP :)
Incidentally, I just have to say how lovely it is to not have spiders in my apartment. That's definitely one of the nice things about having moved. O0
Quote from: Barthheart on July 02, 2015, 11:21:20 AM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11402938_1266729603340760_6058354214589880893_n.jpg?oh=1aa8b6733c324f843d266c6b9a77ad71&oe=561B6D7E)
What a maroon. Only an idiot would use a rifle in that situation.
...That's what flame-throwers are for. :D
Maybe this little guy will change Martok's opinion of arachnids...
Very cute. I think that one stole Mirth's favorite dance move.
Left arm up! Both arms up! Left arm down!
DANCE!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FSmilies%2Fdancingmonkey.gif&hash=25eafc74de1ef4ac89a47da9816c8d3fb6fd2623)
Looks like the female wasn't impressed by the Chav Spider.
Quote from: Staggerwing on August 06, 2015, 07:44:06 PM
Looks like the female wasn't impressed by the Chav Spider.
In fairness, Mirth's dance moves don't always pay off, either.
An interesting tale.
http://www.strangehistory.net/2015/08/13/witching-spiders-from-suffolk/
Quote from: Martok on July 06, 2015, 06:46:03 AM
What a maroon. Only an idiot would use a rifle in that situation.
...That's what flame-throwers are for. :D
My father and one of his buddy's used to tell me about another friend of theirs who was completely horrified of snakes.
So, one of them had found a big black snake wrapped around some old circular well wall made of rock. They caught it and put it in his truck.
Evidently their prank elicited an even more impressively terrified response from the guy than expected. Dunno if he was going shooting or what, but the guy had his .44 with him and, after seeing the big snake in the floorboard, unloaded it into the thing. And through the floor of his vehicle. Despite it being a non-poisonous black snake. The guy completely lost it.
My dad & his buddies always laughed and shook their head when recounting that. :crazy2:
If it was big enough to be wrapped around a stone well, I don't blame him shooting a hole in his floor. :o
Quote from: LongBlade on August 06, 2015, 07:49:37 PM
Quote from: Staggerwing on August 06, 2015, 07:44:06 PM
Looks like the female wasn't impressed by the Chav Spider.
In fairness, Mirth's dance moves don't always pay off, either.
hilarious, i like to think thats what i look like when viewing mirths posts - crazy guy comes in wafting his arms about, all you can do is stand still and think WTF is this?!
but all the time trying to keep at least one eye on him because you never know what will happen
Energy Australia was unable to read your meter.
Martok, stay out of South America! Spider glides from the sky, can choose where it lands. (http://www.cnet.com/news/spider-glides-from-the-sky-can-land-on-a-target/#ftag=CAD590a51e)
Quote from: bbmike on August 20, 2015, 06:46:39 AM
Martok, stay out of South America! Spider glides from the sky, can choose where it lands. (http://www.cnet.com/news/spider-glides-from-the-sky-can-land-on-a-target/#ftag=CAD590a51e)
Dammit! That thing is the size of a kid's hand!! :o
Re Energy Australia: clearly that thing is feeding on the electricity. :o
Well, Martok, the bad news is you just missed the 20th Annual Congress of Arachnology in Golden, Colorado this year.
But the good news is there's plenty of time to sign up for next year!
http://www.americanarachnology.org/about_AAS/bb-items/ISA_AAS_2016.pdf
Oh HELL no............
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fak-hdl.buzzfed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-09%2F8%2F4%2Fenhanced%2Fwebdr07%2Fenhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg&hash=33b0b9df0eada763b1af9b54ad9fbe991d16c7c0)
Oh. Shiiiii................
Ha, this happened to me at about 10 years old - ran straight out, trousers round ankles screaming for my dad
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 16, 2015, 02:45:39 PM
Ha, this happened to me at about 10 years old - ran straight out, trousers round ankles screaming for my dad
..shame...and you were 34 at the time........
im not proud
Quote from: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 01:39:43 PM
Oh HELL no............
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fak-hdl.buzzfed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-09%2F8%2F4%2Fenhanced%2Fwebdr07%2Fenhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg&hash=33b0b9df0eada763b1af9b54ad9fbe991d16c7c0)
Your house?
I had one of those just slightly smaller dart across the bathroom floor a couple of weeks ago during my morning constitution.
He knew he was in trouble. I calmly finished my business went to find a shoe (yes, I was barefoot), and then took care of him.
Real men kill the little bastards with their bare feet. Or their stink. Whichever is more lethal.
Quote from: LongBlade on September 16, 2015, 03:43:55 PM
Quote from: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 01:39:43 PM
Oh HELL no............
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fak-hdl.buzzfed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-09%2F8%2F4%2Fenhanced%2Fwebdr07%2Fenhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg&hash=33b0b9df0eada763b1af9b54ad9fbe991d16c7c0)
Your house?
Oh HELL no............the pic was taken in (where else) Australia.
Wouldn't the proper course of action be to quickly and tightly wind up the roll, settling the multi-legged pookums snugly back into it's fluffy blanket so that the next person to use the facilities could also spend some quality time with little Boris?
Quote from: Staggerwing on September 16, 2015, 09:22:29 PM
Wouldn't the proper course of action be to quickly and tightly wind up the roll, settling the multi-legged pookums snugly back into it's fluffy blanket so that the next person to use the facilities could also spend some quality time with little Boris?
LMAO!!!! O0
Quote from: Staggerwing on September 16, 2015, 09:22:29 PM
Wouldn't the proper course of action be to quickly and tightly wind up the roll, settling the multi-legged pookums snugly back into it's fluffy blanket so that the next person to use the facilities could also spend some quality time with little Boris?
ROFL - Now I have the song, 'Boris the Spider' by 'The Who' going around my head!
creepy-crawley, creepy-crawley, etc.
is that so mr smarty pants?
what are you going to wipe your arse on?!
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 17, 2015, 07:46:00 AM
is that so mr smarty pants?
what are you going to wipe your arse on?!
Goodbye, socks. I never really liked you anyway.
Or that influx of refugees to Europe might slowly start influencing you natives to use your left hand for that purpose. :)
Quote from: bob48 on September 17, 2015, 08:16:01 AM
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 17, 2015, 07:46:00 AM
is that so mr smarty pants?
what are you going to wipe your arse on?!
Goodbye, socks. I never really liked you anyway.
Heh heh....when the Missus goes to wash your things, you're gonna get another skillet upside your head, Bawb.
I'll be really cunning, and blame her for losing yet another pair of socks.........
..nah, you're right, Steelie, here comes another 'gloiinngg'
Darn those socks anyway.
Was that just a footnote?
Dinnae start spinnin' them pun yarns again.
Quote from: JasonPratt on August 20, 2015, 02:25:57 PM
Re Energy Australia: clearly that thing is feeding on the electricity. :o
That, or pure evil. :o Bloody hell...
Quote from: LongBlade on August 26, 2015, 02:06:14 PM
Well, Martok, the bad news is you just missed the 20th Annual Congress of Arachnology in Golden, Colorado this year.
But the good news is there's plenty of time to sign up for next year!
http://www.americanarachnology.org/about_AAS/bb-items/ISA_AAS_2016.pdf
I believe I already have my annual penis-scraping appointment slotted for that time. No way to reschedule I'm afraid.
Quote from: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 01:39:43 PM
Oh HELL no............
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fak-hdl.buzzfed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-09%2F8%2F4%2Fenhanced%2Fwebdr07%2Fenhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg&hash=33b0b9df0eada763b1af9b54ad9fbe991d16c7c0)
I will definitely second your "Oh hell no", and add a "Fuck this, I'm outta here!" Dignity be damned.
If that's a Brown Recluse, it needs to die Dexter-style.
It is not.
Sure looks like a recluse / fiddleback, though; I see enough around West Tennessee to recognize them compared to wolf spiders or whatever, even when I can't see the fiddle.
Granted, it's in Australia. But fiddlers can emigrate pretty easily I expect.
The leg spread and body type are pretty close, and if I could see the back I would know for sure, but, having seen literally tens of thousands over the last 9 + years, I'm going with no, it's not. The legs are too fat.
..we are talking about spiders here, ain't we?
...just askin'
Oh, you dirty old man. Of course we are talking about "spiders."
When the word 'spiders' is in double quotes like that, that's GrogHeads code for "fat-bottomed girls that make the rockin' world go 'round."
Quote from: bob48 on September 23, 2015, 05:30:18 AM
..we are talking about spiders here, ain't we?
...just askin'
I once went to a Jamaican party in Japan and a bunch of the Blapanese sluts were doing the bum-in-the-air, hands-on-the-ground "dance" move while in G-strings. I recall seeing a lot of spider's legs that evening (and more than a few balloon knots)
Blapanese?
Uh.. nevermind. I just had a vision of Orlando Jones with faux voiceover.
This....
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-5JKKrZHPukk%2FUvX-OtbyxMI%2FAAAAAAAAXJo%2FN6TAhP1q-8w%2Fs1600%2F1S237-14.jpg&hash=203aa1f22794ab103ed4edaf8b3a178c860ea676)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2Fxou11tGTliI%2F0.jpg&hash=2d8cbd8a05b40191121f781056f076d09dca74b7)
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/1cxZHQo7OkIZZBJG0iRdavPeXWRmv6BWyrdgq3b8tGsOI7UXcsXlYKt7wjV05PMjtsPBka7iU09fYslpDOE-5_2W1gGX2XMPScsMUFrYz1g=w426-h320)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos1.blogger.com%2Fblogger%2F2217%2F1958%2F1600%2FTeriyaki%2520boyz.jpg&hash=01faf85cbad7cd441b57dfb5e10e473ad0b49c45)
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 11:41:12 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)
Yup, had 6 this week, not massive but big enough and 2 of them have turned round and reared up before the shoe of doom took them out
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 11:39:10 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos1.blogger.com%2Fblogger%2F2217%2F1958%2F1600%2FTeriyaki%2520boyz.jpg&hash=01faf85cbad7cd441b57dfb5e10e473ad0b49c45)
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 11:41:12 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)
Seven inches across is respectable.
The Irish had St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland. Don't you Brits have an equivalent for huge-ass spiders?
Isn't Freddie Mercury the patron saint of huge-asses?
Quote from: mirth on September 24, 2015, 09:21:32 AM
Isn't Freddie Mercury the patron saint of huge-asses?
Whoop! Der it is. Now get him to work!
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
QuoteUsing a lighter to kill the bug, he started a blaze that quickly engulfed the gas pump.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FGrogHeads%2Ffire3_1443237328228_274818_ver1.jpg&hash=59196b7514fda6a64f497d1c1eb5104f4815993f)
He somehow escaped serious injury and the gas station's damage was contained to one pump, which was destroyed. The incident was recorded at a Center Line gas station.
Employee Susan Adams kept calm and hit the gas automatic stop button and quickly called the Center Line fire department.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FGrogHeads%2Ffire6_1443237329907_274820_ver1.jpg&hash=5bfcd547d2bf8f974afd671d2ba5e38a65f713e8)
The man grabbed a nearby extinguisher and put out the flames before firefighters arrived. Later he admitted what he did, saying he spotted a spider on his gas tank and because he's deathly afraid of the critters.
source: http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/local-news/24780872-story
That summary left out the most important information: did he get it?
Quote from: JasonPratt on September 29, 2015, 11:18:32 AM
That summary left out the most important information: did he get it?
Yeah, did he??!!
Quote from: LongBlade on September 24, 2015, 09:16:09 AM
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 11:41:12 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)
Seven inches across is respectable.
The Irish had St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland. Don't you Brits have an equivalent for huge-ass spiders?
Sheee-it! If that monster was in my house, I very well might move!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2015%2F09%2F23%2F12%2F2CAC41BA00000578-0-image-a-8_1443009052229.jpg&hash=faff8f1a44ba506e1eb8545604bf7e13dff27ee8)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.izismile.com%2Fimg%2Fimg8%2F20151014%2F640%2Fdaily_picdump_1943_640_29.jpg&hash=8fdc7621c0591783ba1373673e2257ee9ba84c86)
Quote from: mirth on October 14, 2015, 06:01:21 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.izismile.com%2Fimg%2Fimg8%2F20151014%2F640%2Fdaily_picdump_1943_640_29.jpg&hash=8fdc7621c0591783ba1373673e2257ee9ba84c86)
That's overkill.
But that British monster? Shotgun, please.
Spiders are learning to work together.
QuoteMerchant said while rare, it is not unheard of that such massive web-works may appear once in a while. For example, he said, in 2007 the media reported about a giant spider web found at Lake Tawakoni State Park, about 35 miles from Rowlett.
"At the time, the discovery of the web was more than creepy – it was a revelation to many arachnologists — spider experts," he said. "That's because spiders typically work alone to construct their webs. So finding spiders working together to build a huge web in what was more of a cooperative or 'communal' scenario was a real surprise for many experts."
source: http://today.agrilife.org/2015/08/06/giant-spider-webs-dallas-area/
I don't have an article to cite, but, in my experience, daddy longlegs will pile up, one upon another, in the fall. Don't know if it's a mating thing, an end of life thing, or something completely different. Never seen anything else like it.
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/11891214_1090370334308324_8637119342744714663_n.jpg?oh=348ec0d9e74c257a2beec6d4e49b19e9&oe=56C19309)
Quote from: bayonetbrant on October 27, 2015, 08:22:35 AM
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/11891214_1090370334308324_8637119342744714663_n.jpg?oh=348ec0d9e74c257a2beec6d4e49b19e9&oe=56C19309)
But some do!
Flying connotes a mechanism for continued, voluntary, locomotion. Spiders have no such appendage/ability. Therefore, spiders ride the wind, but do not fly.
Quote from: MetalDog on October 27, 2015, 02:12:30 PM
Flying connotes a mechanism for continued, voluntary, locomotion. Spiders have no such appendage/ability. Therefore, spiders ride the wind, but do not fly.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.smosh.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2F2015%2F03%2Fspider-man-best-funny.jpg&hash=1f5b1cabee90895c2629c776974d56c20f020cca)
Techno Lightsaber Spiders (http://nerdapproved.com/misc-weirdness/techno-lightsaber-spiders/) Run Martok!
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 11:41:12 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)
Yeah, I read that article. I do not envy
geek and Bawb at all. I'll take my Minnesota mosquitoes any day of the week!
Quote from: LongBlade on September 26, 2015, 05:38:16 PM
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
QuoteUsing a lighter to kill the bug, he started a blaze that quickly engulfed the gas pump.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FGrogHeads%2Ffire3_1443237328228_274818_ver1.jpg&hash=59196b7514fda6a64f497d1c1eb5104f4815993f)
He somehow escaped serious injury and the gas station's damage was contained to one pump, which was destroyed. The incident was recorded at a Center Line gas station.
Employee Susan Adams kept calm and hit the gas automatic stop button and quickly called the Center Line fire department.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FGrogHeads%2Ffire6_1443237329907_274820_ver1.jpg&hash=5bfcd547d2bf8f974afd671d2ba5e38a65f713e8)
The man grabbed a nearby extinguisher and put out the flames before firefighters arrived. Later he admitted what he did, saying he spotted a spider on his gas tank and because he's deathly afraid of the critters.
source: http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/local-news/24780872-story
Ahahahaha!! That's great.
He may be an idiot, but that man is still my hero.
Quote from: bbmike on November 03, 2015, 06:57:51 PM
Techno Lightsaber Spiders (http://nerdapproved.com/misc-weirdness/techno-lightsaber-spiders/) Run Martok!
Unless it's an adept of the dark side of the Force, we have nothing to fear.
(Oh wait, never mind, it's a spider. You're right; run!!!)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/18/this-new-daddy-longlegs-is-named-smeagol-and-its-precious-and-eyeless/?tid=sm_fb
Gollum. Gollum.
Quote from: JasonPratt on November 19, 2015, 12:14:25 PM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/18/this-new-daddy-longlegs-is-named-smeagol-and-its-precious-and-eyeless/?tid=sm_fb
Gollum. Gollum.
AND they are trying to save it from extinction!
Fortunately, fire will never go extinct.
http://www.wxii12.com/spiders-invade-neighborhood-in-north-memphis/36632974?utm_source=Social&utm_medium=FBPAGE&utm_campaign=WXII%2012%20NEWS&Content%20Type=Video
Half mile long spiderweb in North Memphis. Now you, too, can benefit from SCIENCE! -- let Doctors Someoneandanother use SCIENCE to melt away the fat of your inherited double chin, safely and... wait, that was the commercial. Nothing to do with the spiders, promise. O:-)
Quote from: Barthheart on November 19, 2015, 12:18:55 PM
Quote from: JasonPratt on November 19, 2015, 12:14:25 PM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/18/this-new-daddy-longlegs-is-named-smeagol-and-its-precious-and-eyeless/?tid=sm_fb
Gollum. Gollum.
AND they are trying to save it from extinction!
Yeah, they've got the wrong idea there. >:(
Quote from: JasonPratt on November 24, 2015, 03:22:27 PM
http://www.wxii12.com/spiders-invade-neighborhood-in-north-memphis/36632974?utm_source=Social&utm_medium=FBPAGE&utm_campaign=WXII%2012%20NEWS&Content%20Type=Video
Half mile long spiderweb in North Memphis. Now you, too, can benefit from SCIENCE! -- let Doctors Someoneandanother use SCIENCE to melt away the fat of your inherited double chin, safely and... wait, that was the commercial. Nothing to do with the spiders, promise. O:-)
Yep, I read about this story a few days ago. I know it's not a new phenomenon, but the notion of thousands (millions?) of spiders gathering together to build a ginormous web is just f-ing creepy. :-\
A cautionary tale for our friend.
QuoteA man's noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbors to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.
Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you, you're dead. Die! Die!"
QuoteBelow is their transcript of the conversation that followed:
Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?
Male: I don't know what you're talking about, I live alone.
Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.
Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?
Male: It was a spider.
Police: Sorry??
Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police: What about the woman screaming?
Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.
What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.
The police report concluded: "After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left."
source: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/11/26/man-attempt-to-kill-spider-confused-with-domestic-violence-sparks-police-call/?intcmp=hplnws
I'd say "Only in the Antipodes" but I just know there will be (and, in fact, may already have been) a similar incident in a certain US State *cough*Florida*cough*.
Interesting that the Aussie incident happened in a suburb named after the maiden name of the author of 'Frankenstein'. I don't know why it's interesting but it is.
Quote from: LongBlade on November 26, 2015, 06:06:20 PM
A cautionary tale for our friend.
QuoteA man's noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbors to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.
Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you, you're dead. Die! Die!"
QuoteBelow is their transcript of the conversation that followed:
Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?
Male: I don't know what you're talking about, I live alone.
Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.
Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?
Male: It was a spider.
Police: Sorry??
Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police: What about the woman screaming?
Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.
What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.
The police report concluded: "After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left."
source: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/11/26/man-attempt-to-kill-spider-confused-with-domestic-violence-sparks-police-call/?intcmp=hplnws
Pansy. A guy with even a shred of dignity and/or masculinity does not kill a spider using "bug spray" (professional exterminators like
MetalDog don't count). Sheesh. ::)
Quote from: Martok on November 30, 2015, 10:03:27 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on November 26, 2015, 06:06:20 PM
A cautionary tale for our friend.
QuoteA man's noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbors to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.
Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you, you're dead. Die! Die!"
QuoteBelow is their transcript of the conversation that followed:
Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?
Male: I don't know what you're talking about, I live alone.
Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.
Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?
Male: It was a spider.
Police: Sorry??
Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police: What about the woman screaming?
Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.
What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.
The police report concluded: "After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left."
source: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/11/26/man-attempt-to-kill-spider-confused-with-domestic-violence-sparks-police-call/?intcmp=hplnws
Pansy. A guy with even a shred of dignity and/or masculinity does not kill a spider using "bug spray" (professional exterminators like MetalDog don't count). Sheesh. ::)
Yeah, but he is in Aus, where some spiders chase you, jump on your face, then kill you, without antidote.
Yeah. They breed some stone cold arachnids Down Under.
Elf on a Shelf meets their match.
I'm torn between shuddering and laughing my fool head off.
I'm trying to decide whether an enormous spider or those goddamn Elf on a Shelf things is creepier...
I am thankful to have never been visited by Spider Claus.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FFunny%2FSpider%2520Claus_zpslljk6f3w.jpg&hash=5da6eef5c845455619139fe64434e02bce9cc159)
For the nieces and the Ishy-in-law next year! >:D
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2016-01-04-1244.png&hash=d6f3eb3aac687be77e9b99bb19b8a0d4896ddaf6)
And that's how we know that's not heaven... :P :buck2:
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/0a46802fcdff9fa101eba2f19d77c1a6.jpg?quality=94&strip=info&w=600)
That looks like a job for a pest control technician.
Gonna need the 'special applicator' for that job...
Hells yeah!
Quote from: MetalDog on January 17, 2016, 08:55:06 AM
That looks like a job for a pest control technician.
You're welcome to her, buddy. If there was ever a tattoo (which I'm usually perfectly fine with -- I actually like 'em most of the time) that would guarantee me to not want to be near a woman's lady parts, that would do it. :buck2:
Hey, Big Boy...
QuoteA massive funnel web spider named 'big boy' has been found and turned in to a hospital.
The huge spider, which measured 7.5 centimetres across, was dropped off by a terrified local at the John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle, New South Wales.
The horrifying creature had venom dripping off its deadly fangs when bushwalker stumbled across it.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1081.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj349%2Flongblade%2FGrogHeads%2F308B564D00000578-0-image-a-14_14536.jpg&hash=c59436c4ffeff5946f742885f32733270b5ad457)
source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3414915/Huge-funnel-web-spider-Newcastle-taken-Australian-Reptile-Park.html
A few months ago, I finally learned an important lesson -- one that should've been obvious to me from the start, but letter late than never:
Do not read this thread before going to bed. I have fewer nightmares now. :P
Meet the spiders that have formed armies 50000 strong (http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160122-meet-the-spiders-that-have-formed-armies-50000-strong)
^ Disturbing, but at least they're far away from me.
Here's a reminder as to why I should just use a flame-thrower instead of pansy-ass bug-spray:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2016-01-22-1256.png&hash=bf8e34c042e772d2369026b40018036ccd0b73e2)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl1.yimg.com%2Fbt%2Fapi%2Fres%2F1.2%2FkpopSUUNxSdk2W04ttjEew--%2FYXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztmaT1maWxsO2g9Mzg5O3B5b2ZmPTA7cT03NTt3PTU3NQ--%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fmedia.zenfs.com%2Fen_US%2FNews%2FLiveScience.com%2Fcryptomaster-daddylonglegs.jpg1453748613&hash=6a7a30244b65c2c5fa423a5210567fb8e4a9df71)
http://news.yahoo.com/behemoth-daddy-longlegs-discovered-oregon-143645998.html
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnature.demotivationalposters.org%2Fimage%2Fdemotivational-poster%2F0907%2Ffuck-you-fuck-you-tree-hate-nature-demotivational-poster-1248979486.jpg&hash=42b083104a1f4756a116cbacb0485c3b0b8882d3)
.
.
.
.
<checks in pun-log to see when we last did tree puns>
.
.
.
Oops...pun log........
We need to branch out.
Best avoid it. Tree puns are shady business.
Just leaf the puns to the professionals. Their bark is worse than their bite anyway. The oaks and pains of puns are survivable; willow you just stop whining about them al-reed-y?
Wood you guys give it a rest? All this punnery has left me sapped.
(https://41.media.tumblr.com/25bab503c7306a14b95ff4c91ce4963d/tumblr_nu424fMVE41qhp91uo1_540.jpg)
We'll soon be sycamore tree puns.
Soon?! Too late. :buck2:
Poor MD. Should we leave elm alone?
I'm rooting for him.
This is branching way off topic.
We saw it coming, but we didn't cut it out.
Haven't you guys ever seen a bird in a tree before? :coolsmiley:
I think we're starting to pith him off.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2FGiant-Spider-tarantula-1328613692_50_zpsnjlqwi0f.jpg&hash=72a355375c7ff82a6a59b91a1f50756272127e42)
What breed of horse is that? Clydesdale?
Aww, wooden you know it, that Martok was the one to put this thread back on the rails.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fspider_dads_hand_zpsjew7dobt.jpg&hash=13dd4b8d620cfac93bf36092c0b5cc02d33045c5)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fspider-giant_nov2-2009-copy1_zpszaepabb0.jpg&hash=73eaa1a7618689bcbc0936fed0a665a0b6f2bed0)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fhuntsman_zps47fniotx.jpg&hash=bdef2c1c3d6705e595e128baa72670e3887ab89a)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fbig-wolf-spider-pictures-6412_zpsac3ucgp1.jpg&hash=7dd171d35d2bb6c58835a0dcd07dd57257d5c008)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fwolfspiderjune2011_zps03dvbys2.jpg&hash=af0d3866abdce176da8deab8b9d7ccda179803bd)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fimg_0974_zpsfhrahdqy.jpg&hash=aab170293db769927ba10a0e135301d539e675f5)
Now excuse me while I go vomit.
OMG. Martok has gone over the edge!
Someone has hacked Martok's account! That's the ONLY way I see that happening!
Even pictures of huge demonic spiders are an improvement over what this thread was beginning to turn into. :buck2: Extreme measures had to be enacted.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.ensoku.club%2Fimages%2Fcontents%2F000002000%2F000001202%2F20150501_02a_716_0_0_1432.jpg&hash=6299f5e82cf5de29acc80a346812fdaa2659eb89)
^ Much better than what I posted! :D
Quote from: Martok on January 28, 2016, 05:21:21 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fwolfspiderjune2011_zps03dvbys2.jpg&hash=af0d3866abdce176da8deab8b9d7ccda179803bd)
I'm more perturbed by the random hairs all over the place than the spidey.
https://www.facebook.com/KristinSchrotOfficial/videos/873359209425340/?fref=nf
What a douchebag. I'd have split his head open.
Just hit him with your weave.
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/12631342_1115598351807001_5451109443759085262_n.jpg?oh=759423bc99dfaf09415e33200ef7eb82&oe=57444213)
I gotta admit, I did laugh at that one. Well done, chief. :P
Martok, any chance you are a Johnny Cash (http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2016/0205/Eight-legged-Johnny-Cash-New-tarantula-species-named-for-singer) fan?? Say hello to Aphonopelma johnnycashi. He'll be visiting you tonight...in your dreams. >:D
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.csmonitor.com%2Fcsm%2F2016%2F02%2F962819_1_0205-TARANTULA_standard.jpg%3Falias%3Dstandard_600x400&hash=9dd8b40f4443f2845698bd3a75c45a306fa52e38)
If I ever have a spider species named after me once I'm gone, I'm going to come back to life just to rectify that. And I'm going to be pissed. :knuppel2:
Quote from: Martok on February 06, 2016, 03:47:31 AM
If I ever have a spider species named after me once I'm gone, I'm going to come back to life just to rectify that. And I'm going to be pissed. :knuppel2:
Especially if you came back as a spider.
A Black Widow at that!
Dating would indeed be a trifle awkward.
You're not even guaranteed to get laid before you get eaten. :(
If you have an erection lasting more than 99 million years, you might be a spider...
QuoteThat's how long the penis of a newly discovered arachnid fossil has been standing at attention. The harvestman, a spider relative also known as a daddy longlegs, was encased in amber during the Cretaceous in what is now Myanmar. Its distinctive penis, with a heart-shaped tip and a bit of a twist at the end, was erect at the time.
QuoteThe new harvestman specimen belongs to an ancient species called Halitherses grimaldii. A private collector sent it to Dunlop and his colleagues. Harvestman fossils are rare — only 38 have ever been found, the researchers wrote in their new paper — but harvestman genitals are even more elusive. This is the first amber specimen visibly preserving the structure of the penis, Dunlop told Live Science in an email.
"These penis details (shape, form of the tip, etc.) are very important for saying where this amber species fits in the harvestman family tree," he said. "In fact, we couldn't find an exact match in terms of penis shape with any living species."
As a result, the researchers propose that the spider belonged to a previously unknown (and now extinct) family of harvestmen. The team is investigating several other new species found in Burmese amber, but none of those are preserved with visible genitals, Dunlop said.
Pictures and much more than you ever thought you wanted to know about the topic can be found through the link below:
source: http://www.livescience.com/53583-daddy-longlegs-fossil-with-erect-penis.html
Note that instead of saying, "Everything about this harvestman is the same as 99 million years later, except for the shape of one part, and even that's mostly the same, so we might consider this simply a minor deformity or maybe even caused by having been trapped in amber," they've decided to propose this is a previously unknown whole species of harvestman as a result of this one evident difference.
And not content with that, they're going to propose that the species is extinct now, when the only difference from extant harvestmen species is something that would be rarely ever even noticed except in dissected specimens.
{smh}
Man, don't be hating' on the Taxonomists- they got kids to feed and clothe just like the rest of us. A little make-work never hurt anyone- look at any Highway Department ever.
I think we are all truly in deep shit! Spiders are starting to kill snakes!! And a daddy long legs to boot!
https://www.yahoo.com/news/tiny-spider-takes-deadly-brown-065221730.html
Quite honestly, I'd be a lot more concerned about un-flushable spiders in the toilet (http://mashable.com/2015/03/04/australia-spider-toilet/#NcJqIz4BrkqM), and live spiders in packaged lettuce (http://mashable.com/2016/02/05/spiders-lettuce-bag-australia/#AlHgpRe_rmq3). :buck2:
Yeah, that toilet spider would be quite the nasty surprise.
Geeze, Martok, what are you going to do now? No place seems safe.
Well I do believe I'd already previously stated I would simply never visit Australia, so that's something like 70% of the battle right there.
For the rest, I may need a second flame-thrower. You can never be too careful.
when i went with wife mark II we were sat in a coffee shop pretty close to the entrance in Cairns, all of a sudden the owner shouts 'aw, here he is fellas, heres bruce' i turn around, no one there, and the owner says 'come on in little guy', so i look down - coming through the door is a fking glove with eight legs, biggest ass, stripiest fkng spider ever - owner puts down a saucer of beer and hes straight in
apart from the obvious lynching i would have received for doing so, the temptation to stomp on it was massive, but ive always pondered the fact that the thing would have just turned round, caught my shoe and thrown me backwards through the window
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 11, 2016, 04:29:16 PM
when i went with wife mark II we were sat in a coffee shop pretty close to the entrance in Cairns, all of a sudden the owner shouts 'aw, here he is fellas, heres bruce' i turn around, no one there, and the owner says 'come on in little guy', so i look down - coming through the door is a fking glove with eight legs, biggest ass, stripiest fkng spider ever - owner puts down a saucer of beer and hes straight in
apart from the obvious lynching i would have received for doing so, the temptation to stomp on it was massive, but ive always pondered the fact that the thing would have just turned round, caught my shoe and thrown me backwards through the window
Maybe Martok needs to be more like Obama and have a beer summit with some of those poor spidies.
They probably would light on fire easier that way...
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2FmediaFiles%2Fpicture%2F1906476%2F84924726.jpg&hash=902ec1fb3804266652f5c5a363fad630fbad5fd1)
Martok's parents didn't believe in spanking.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2FmediaFiles%2Fpicture%2F730195%2F84924614.png&hash=55f116eec35f4b0247cb7cb239229e8eaabb5326)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F1XsxgVS.jpg&hash=7acc26c19bb1250b78327c766e90996e26b75491)
Quote from: mirth on February 25, 2016, 07:17:34 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F1XsxgVS.jpg&hash=7acc26c19bb1250b78327c766e90996e26b75491)
Good think Martok can't read Braille.
That photo is the definition of irony.
The exoskeleton of the Widow's last mate hanging over there in her tangled web, is a nice touch.
Good eye, Jason.
I am so very, very glad that I was not born a male spider.
If the spider has been there a while that could also be a molted exoskeleton left over from it's youth.
Quote from: Staggerwing on March 02, 2016, 07:04:09 PM
If the spider has been there a while that could also be a molted exoskeleton left over from it's youth.
Always gotta be an optimist, don't ya? >:(
It just means 'she' is smart enough to dispose of the dead mates' remains so the next live one doesn't get scared off.
It's too late for Star but Mirth should be taking notes.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2016-03-03-1283.png&hash=424f05e054ddf8922009f591c2c5c68945d09f72)
Quote from: Staggerwing on March 02, 2016, 07:04:09 PM
If the spider has been there a while that could also be a molted exoskeleton left over from it's youth.
I thought that at first, too. But then I realized the abdomen of the exoskeleton was too small for the size of the legs.
Admittedly, it does on closer squint look like an exo-skeleton per se and not like a dessicated spider... :(
This spider likes to fish:
https://www.yahoo.com/tech/fish-eating-spiders-shouldn-t-exist-definitely-shouldn-133055023.html
[yt]https://youtu.be/WHOJMXz13wc[/yt]
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xla1/v/t1.0-9/12670673_1786177554937203_6035910928899350187_n.jpg?oh=9aeaff2fe786154d56a5c6d53c1fc6e3&oe=57737852)
^ O0
Quote from: bayonetbrant on March 20, 2016, 10:44:27 AM
[yt]https://youtu.be/WHOJMXz13wc[/yt]
Nope. Even I'm not dumb enough to shoot the tank on that one!
https://www.facebook.com/thisisinsider/videos/1535729743401085/
That is actually pretty cool. Even if you are not a 'no kill' person that gadget will keep you from having to clean spider guts after whacking 'em.
Not the way *I* kill 'em, it wouldn't. >:D
Martoks worst nightmare (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-36136635)...actually any man's worst nightmare :o ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnews%2F660%2Fcpsprodpb%2F18002%2Fproduction%2F_89460389_gettyimages-56714765.jpg&hash=c966e141e3d70d6aa675613d723fe791f85f8cf5)
fuck Australia!
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13102633_1030920393692085_1604636666836523113_n.jpg?oh=eaef974009beb62f0e15ceca83c4a0ad&oe=57B2A627)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2016-06-01-1343.png&hash=4405081ac79299ad095432872987f33ded24ce33)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/12642515_10154059878396055_1321974973464916534_n.jpg?oh=fae112bcbf45a97c6732100ebb94f50f&oe=5809E51F)
So if your girlfriend has a pet tarantula... is she a keeper? I'm conflicted. :-\
Quote from: steve58 on June 29, 2016, 11:53:44 AM
Well I guess that's one way to keep from being felt up...
Quote from: JasonPratt on June 30, 2016, 12:54:19 PM
So if your girlfriend has a pet tarantula... is she a keeper? I'm conflicted. :-\
Only if you're an arachnophile. ::)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13775480_1195658603788846_3150981224822854008_n.jpg?oh=976a867d6d747742c4061b16e13e6446&oe=5835C5B6)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/483212_453710877983626_1637200644_n.jpg?oh=a929415022258574197036c7c7c9ed50&oe=5824E89C)
Robot spiders
https://www.yahoo.com/tech/lockheed-martin-spider-robot-searches-182058898.html
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FsQaeat1.jpg&hash=d4df667c92fa695056cfce96c7e6c59fbf4ca306)
Quote from: mirth on July 28, 2016, 11:26:41 AM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FsQaeat1.jpg&hash=d4df667c92fa695056cfce96c7e6c59fbf4ca306)
Interesting...but I see nothing spider-related. ;D
Oops, that was supposed to go in the Pics for a Laugh thread.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2016-08-22-1388.png&hash=13f55e909364521635a67edd836ace8a7bc7ab8b)
psst, hey Martok, those spiders can hear you (http://www.businessinsider.com/turns-out-spiders-can-hear-you-from-across-the-room-2016-10?r=UK&IR=T)!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic2.businessinsider.com%2Fimage%2F580127a78d83b4a6018b4640-2118%2Fap_16246055722696.jpg&hash=b4bfdbf12b375742cd65984c7f58c92aa3b45bef)
(can't have a Martok/spider post without a spider pic)
It's a good thing I only plot against them in my own mind then. :knuppel2:
(Unless they're also telepathic. Then I'm kinda screwed... :o )
According to Marvel Comics, spiders are in fact telepathic and come with phased-radar. They are not, however, capable of spinning their own webs. :))
Be Hearty!
<snort> Heh.
yes, that's a spider dragging a mouse
(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f276a385776f2ea9b2e9d59fce29cca42e96d99b/30_0_900_540/master/900.jpg?w=620&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=2b45f19a12b0e78bb21eb784ccf87a5d)
One of the very few times I'll feel sorry for a mouse... :buck2:
We mammals all have to stand together against The Other.
ummm.... the shape of the rodent looks more like a rat!
....this was not more comforting, was it?
My weapon of choice used to be the beano annual, hard back - it was the thors hammer of the arachnid world
I'm not sure it's awesome power would help much here
Quote from: Staggerwing on October 24, 2016, 06:16:50 PM
We mammals all have to stand together against The Other.
Indeed! Well said,
Staggerwing. O0
Quote from: JasonPratt on October 25, 2016, 11:04:08 AM
ummm.... the shape of the rodent looks more like a rat!
....this was not more comforting, was it?
I've always found it a little easier to sympathize with a mouse than a rat, so...maybe?
Still not rooting for the spider, though. :knuppel2:
Quote from: undercovergeek on October 25, 2016, 12:31:42 PM
My weapon of choice used to be the beano annual, hard back - it was the thors hammer of the arachnid world
I'm not sure it's awesome power would help much here
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FOther%2Fflamethrower_zpsjpvud2ab.jpg&hash=e6ab34b0963774fa9eebb63b4778cf5c837cb9b8)
Accept no substitutes.
^^ "Hey Bob, the spider's behind you! Ha ha haAAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" -- Fred's last words.
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14718660_1529248650435567_4844339696095694726_n.jpg?oh=b948c37f5c4417adfa5f9a2a7e79abf9&oe=58A6B505)
When it comes to eight-legged horrors inhabiting the deepest crevices of my nightmares, you're damn right I'm thinking of only myself. :knuppel2:
Naturally, from Australia: Gigantic spider nicknamed 'Charlotte' (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/11/04/gigantic-spider-nicknamed-charlotte-australia-huntsmen-spider-huge/93280386/?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzRss&utm_campaign=usatodaycomnation-topstories)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fspider1.jpg&hash=b60f54980d53d9c1b7eea0a258c200078684bf44)
Spiders are not meant to have faces, more accurately, they should not be big enough for me to see a face!
The plus side to this is I can see there look of horror as an encyclopaedia bears down on them
...so, what is the artsy butterfly for? Near the ginormous spider pet? :-X
Quote from: bbmike on November 04, 2016, 08:24:59 AM
Naturally, from Australia: Gigantic spider nicknamed 'Charlotte' (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/11/04/gigantic-spider-nicknamed-charlotte-australia-huntsmen-spider-huge/93280386/?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzRss&utm_campaign=usatodaycomnation-topstories)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aarcentral.com%2Fpics%2Fspider1.jpg&hash=b60f54980d53d9c1b7eea0a258c200078684bf44)
F***ing hell!!! Why was it "rescued"??! That thing's on the verge of achieving sentience! They should've killed the bloody thing while they had a chance, not release it back into the wild! Now it's too late!!
Quote from: undercovergeek on November 04, 2016, 09:25:54 AM
Spiders are not meant to have faces, more accurately, they should not be big enough for me to see a face!
The plus side to this is I can see there look of horror as an encyclopaedia bears down on them
Well said,
geek. I couldn't agree more!
Quote from: JasonPratt on November 04, 2016, 11:03:23 AM
...so, what is the artsy butterfly for? Near the ginormous spider pet? :-X
I was a little befuddled by that as well. ???
Spiders should not require firearms to kill them! :o
Who you gonna call?
Spider Busters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9H50tHiHjs
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/11403119_1426443287684308_4769254689349497532_n.jpg?oh=ce48db95199fb6f9d2069b9771d758c4&oe=58939563)
Pretttty sure that's a widow, yep! :P
I second that.
Some guy pulls that alarm without looking, there's definitely going to be a widow somewhere.
Let the fucker burn!!
Martok, is it time to re-decorate (http://nerdapproved.com/household/spider-furniture/#more-163689)? ^-^
Some people have too much time on their hands. :buck2:
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15073297_1613374848966305_5235789911006549625_n.png?oh=bcd6d71d5f60f2b727328c3084b2303e&oe=58C52382)
^ That's *almost* more cool than creepy. Almost. :P
I feel compelled to quote my previous post:
Quote from: Martok on November 17, 2016, 12:50:04 PM
Some people have too much time on their hands.
Okay, that was pretty funny. ;D
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimgs.xkcd.com%2Fcomics%2Freindeer.png&hash=bea11bfeea5956ba2d7c4e41681dc82c131873e1)
I want that for my nieces. Internet, make it happen! (Next year.)
(https://img0.etsystatic.com/008/0/5728230/il_340x270.404219828_onk0.jpg)
Quote from: Barthheart on December 23, 2016, 11:24:53 AM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimgs.xkcd.com%2Fcomics%2Freindeer.png&hash=bea11bfeea5956ba2d7c4e41681dc82c131873e1)
Yeah, I read that one too. Freaked me out, it did.
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on December 24, 2016, 10:11:45 PM
(https://img0.etsystatic.com/008/0/5728230/il_340x270.404219828_onk0.jpg)
That is both clever and really mean!
(https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15823369_1587451331272552_2434274923889843691_n.jpg?oh=110bb9707ee3dcd20f7f76402a8ddbea&oe=591FD072)
You're a mean man, Starfury.
Danke O:-)
Natural selection is a cruel, spider-drow mistress.
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/comedians-exercising-their-funny-bones-25-photos-25.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15977190_1810820662490989_7229301992647519928_n.jpg?oh=eaf95f6b1043d96cebaa4eb70d0f7de1&oe=590E9E69)
^ LOL. I can't imagine trying to walk in those...
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 03, 2017, 09:42:26 PM
(https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15823369_1587451331272552_2434274923889843691_n.jpg?oh=110bb9707ee3dcd20f7f76402a8ddbea&oe=591FD072)
Don't care, I'm still gonna kill the ones I can get at -- even if they're the dumb ones. :knuppel2:
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on January 06, 2017, 08:25:18 PM
Well there goes my appetite. :-\
Quote from: bayonetbrant on January 22, 2017, 04:46:44 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15977190_1810820662490989_7229301992647519928_n.jpg?oh=eaf95f6b1043d96cebaa4eb70d0f7de1&oe=590E9E69)
I would give those to my brother for Father's Day
so fast the air would scorch. O0
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ftw/2017/02/15/this-video-of-a-deadly-spider-killing-a-deadly-snake-will-haunt-you-for-weeks/97970714/
Bring me the flamethrower!!!!!!
True story: my sister-in-law worked as logistics VP (eventually 2nd in command) at a clothing factory before it closed up shop and moved to Mexico or somewhere. Naturally there were a bunch of warehouses nearby, in that town and others (like the county seat). She had to go out to the warehouses on a regular basis for various logistic-duty reasons.
She and the other workers very much did not like going there in the winter, though.
Because lots of snakes, especially cottonmouth water moccasins, loved to get into the hanging stock and hibernate.
This factory was a major supplier for retail chains all across the US. She knows for a FACT a significant number of those snakes got shipped from the warehouses to the retailers.
Think about that next time you go shopping for clothes: they're now being made more cheaply in other areas of the world, than in viper-infested warehouses.
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/asvqnwcz6bva6sv91aek530ksq5goda_ikeipig62vo.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
OH GOD THEY'RE HERE
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18034108_1514243105305629_6821291438500382309_n.png?oh=80c606a223832f2a3559f390142b1fe0&oe=599073A8)
Hahahahaha!!! Brilliant!
The Hercules beetle.
https://www.facebook.com/LADbible/videos/3213400712040430/
http://nbc4i.com/2016/10/24/man-captures-terrifying-footage-of-massive-spider-carrying-mouse-up-a-fridge/
Not gonna shoot THAT tank.
I can't imagine not being terrified, walking into my kitchen and seeing that spider carrying a mouse up my fridge. But, from the vantage point I enjoy watching it on video, that was kinda cool.
From just reading the link I knew it would be in Australia.
Looks like a mole cricket.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_cricket (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_cricket)
https://nypost.com/2017/06/01/it-needs-a-leash-mom-finds-giant-spider-in-sons-bedroom/
That snapshot for the video should be an album covERRRMAGUHD, HER EAR, NEVER EVEN MIND THE SPIDER, WHAT CREATURE IS THIS?!
So this happened in Ottawa last weekend.... :o
(https://postmediaottawacitizen2.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/0730-la-machine-14-jpg.jpg)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstorage.ottawasun.com%2Fv1%2Fdynamic_resize%2Fsws_path%2Fsuns-prod-images%2F1297978406459_ORIGINAL.jpg%3Fquality%3D80%26amp%3Bsize%3D650x&hash=b690c2d0406e8e88670218dbe0f206d5a003e56a)
(https://i.cbc.ca/1.3610910.1464805117!/fileImage/httpImage/image.JPG_gen/derivatives/16x9_1180/la-machine-s-industrial-dragon-and-spider.JPG)
...The heck?? :o
La Machine. Two mythical creatures battled it out in our streets for 4 days.
The spider, Kimora, stole the dragon-horse's, Long-Ma, wings and the battle for control ensued.
Heh. Well that's different.
Quote from: Barthheart on August 04, 2017, 04:52:04 AM
La Machine. Two mythical creatures battled it out in our streets for 4 days.
The spider, Kimora, stole the dragon-horse's, Long-Ma, wings and the battle for control ensued.
Does it have Bryan Cranston?
That mechanical spider looks like some Wil Smith Wild Wild West crap.
FU. It was awesome. :bd:
I suppose the more beer you have the more awesomerest it becomes?
That's been my experience with most things. :D
I hate this thread. I'm horribly allergic to venom. I spent a day in bed with my arm elevated above my heart slamming antihistamines to get over one spider bite.
The rest of you would have had more of a reaction to a mosquito bite.
Just one bite. I get three and it's steroids and pain meds.
That sucks, airboy. Sorry you have to go through that crap.
I had a brown recluse bite about four or five years ago...it was a miserable experience, so I can relate to an extent.
Quote from: BanzaiCat on August 05, 2017, 10:57:51 AM
That sucks, airboy. Sorry you have to go through that crap.
I had a brown recluse bite about four or five years ago...it was a miserable experience, so I can relate to an extent.
This was an ordinary spider. If it bites someone who is not "special" like me, the bitten individual never notices it. Brown recluse or black widow bite would probably mean the hospital for me.
Time to burn Arizona to the ground
Camel spiders in the American Southwest?! WTF??!! :o I thought they were only found in the Middle East! Dammit...
Quote from: airboy on August 05, 2017, 01:20:52 AM
I hate this thread. I'm horribly allergic to venom. I spent a day in bed with my arm elevated above my heart slamming antihistamines to get over one spider bite.
The rest of you would have had more of a reaction to a mosquito bite.
Just one bite. I get three and it's steroids and pain meds.
Sonofabitch,
airboy! :buck2: I'm sorry to hear that, man.
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/d13145fd94a160c06b4397402bbb6f41.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Hahahahaha!! Yeah, that's about right.
Quote from: Barthheart on August 04, 2017, 03:48:38 PM
FU. It was awesome. :bd:
The dragon's head looks modeled on King Ghidora, too!
Also, the mechanical spider in WWW was the one thing everyone agreed was awesome about that movie. I
loved that thing. Wish it had been in a better movie.
12 spiders currently visiting the forum.
Just a friendly note. O:-)
...those are the ones the forum can see... >:D
No worries. GrogHeads has pest control ;)
^ Thank goodness for that. :)
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/nanotech-super-spiderwebs-are-here-20170822-gy1blp.html
Quote from: besilarius on September 01, 2017, 07:02:39 AM
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/nanotech-super-spiderwebs-are-here-20170822-gy1blp.html
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us. Kingdom of the mudderfuggin' Spiders, man.
(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XInL9rAkFuI/V_6hHjp86RI/AAAAAAAAJQg/0N4fiQVaEDkH_Y34qVAuL8QAp2eRaLAyQCLcB/s1600/1508230041450112.jpg)
Quote from: BanzaiCat on September 01, 2017, 07:36:22 AM
....
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us. Kingdom of the mudderfuggin' Spiders, man.
Cause it's there and it's fun to do.
Quote from: BanzaiCat on September 01, 2017, 07:36:22 AM
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us.
Because making life better is boring, and doesn't pay well.
Quote from: trailrunner on September 01, 2017, 07:59:55 AM
Quote from: BanzaiCat on September 01, 2017, 07:36:22 AM
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us.
Because making life better is boring, and doesn't pay well.
O0
Quote from: trailrunner on September 01, 2017, 07:59:55 AM
Because making life better is boring, and doesn't pay well.
Barth is an engineer. No telling what proton-enhanced arachnids he and his little mad scientist cabal are working on up there in the Great White North.
Barth is an engineer? Is that why he hates rounded corners? Does he hate Roman arches, too? :P
Why would I hate Roman arches? They are great examples of engineering.
I called him a physicist once and he took great umbrage (he apologized to me for my misunderstanding ;D ).
I think he collides things into other things, hoping for something to create a crack in the universe that will bring the mist and the spider-like creatures that will eat all of us.
Quote from: BanzaiCat on September 25, 2017, 02:07:16 PM
I think he collides things into other things, hoping for something to create a crack in the universe that will bring the mist and the spider-like creatures that will eat all of us.
I hope for the same outcome.
Quote from: Barthheart on September 25, 2017, 02:06:43 PM
Why would I hate Roman arches? They are great examples of engineering.
So are rounded corners! ;)
Hey, while I have you on the phone, do you happen to remember what we were playing on Vassal a few years ago? We probably played something because I notice that I have you in my Skype contacts. I don't know why else you'd be there.
Quote from: Ubercat on September 25, 2017, 03:52:15 PM
Quote from: Barthheart on September 25, 2017, 02:06:43 PM
Why would I hate Roman arches? They are great examples of engineering.
So are rounded corners! ;)
Hey, while I have you on the phone, do you happen to remember what we were playing on Vassal a few years ago? We probably played something because I notice that I have you in my Skype contacts. I don't know why else you'd be there.
We had a go at AH's War at Sea.
Definitely not that. Hmmm, the mystery deepens. ???
Quote from: Ubercat on September 25, 2017, 08:29:18 PM
Definitely not that. Hmmm, the mystery deepens. ???
Hmmmm.... maybe Lock n Load?
That could well be it.
I just auctioned off my entire WW2 LnL collection at WBC and got a song for it. :( I decided that it wasn't my tactical squad level game of choice. So far, ASLSK comes closest to filling that niche. Operational scale seems to be my true love, though, and I've been focusing on OCS lately.
Is this debt worth it?
Twenty years in the future, an old, grizzled postman knocks on the door. "It is time for some respect."
(https://scontent.fyyz1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22540014_1297814143737389_8142693659597721508_n.jpg?oh=032e6db32e8ebb77799d8377b776f101&oe=5A87FE09)
^I'm not Martok but please tell me that is Photoshopped! :o
That spider's looking at her like, "uh-uh, bitch. You can TRY."
Where the hell is Samwise when SHE needs him?
I humbly suggest replacing the plastic bowl with this:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.strangemilitary.com%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2F126113.jpg&hash=2fe1fd03c1bef9d7716b1486c8a043bb5e9774e2)
Will one be enough?
No such thing as enough dakka. But an admirable attempt.
Those Belgian brewers must have a thing against Martok.
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/lambic-beer-spiders-brussels-belgium-breweries?utm_source=Atlas+Obscura+Daily+Newsletter&utm_campaign=d02b072564-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_11_02&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f36db9c480-d02b072564-62974501&ct=t%28%29&mc_cid=d02b072564&mc_eid=f1e132f43a
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaximumble.thebookofbiff.com%2Fcomics%2F2017-11-02-1633.png&hash=450a64fb3104695dd9c72483aaa22b836e669ba7)
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/tumblr_os33989rue1qzfsnio1_500.gif?w=480)
How cute!
Screw that. Squish it with vengeance!
But just look into those sad little eyes- all eight of them.
Allow me to drag this thread back to the appropriately horrifying:
(https://i.imgur.com/aZR28cY.jpg)
Australia?
There's a spider here in the south that carries its live young on its back. The spider is a good size as an adult, maybe two inches long. It's a bit disconcerting to catch a glimpse of it near you, babies tightly packed. It's even worse when you realize after you stepped on it, it was almost quick enough to get away. And the babies you thought safely smushed are running furiously out from beneath your boot.
Quote from: MetalDog on December 23, 2017, 01:16:58 PM
... running furiously out from beneath your boot.
Or worse,
up your boot.
Quote from: Staggerwing on December 23, 2017, 12:54:16 PM
Australia?
I believe so, yes. But then, sheer Law of Averages would favor it being from there in any case. :P
Quote from: Staggerwing on December 23, 2017, 02:38:23 PM
Quote from: MetalDog on December 23, 2017, 01:16:58 PM
... running furiously out from beneath your boot.
Or worse, up your boot.
This would definitely be my bigger concern.
My favorite part of that photo is "Scroll".
For the extra bleep-no reaction it adds, thanks to its new context.
Although come to think of it, the "energy" feeding the egg sack with little energy lines might be funnier. I hadn't looked that closely the first time. For some reason. :hide:
Great news.
Seven new varieties of spider found, and the researchers are into fantasy!
https://phys.org/news/2018-01-spider-species-brazil-famous-fictional.html
Ugh. At least the Tolkien names were appropriate.
Quote from: besilarius on January 11, 2018, 07:16:57 AM
Great news.
Seven new varieties of spider found, and the researchers are into fantasy!
https://phys.org/news/2018-01-spider-species-brazil-famous-fictional.html
That was neat!
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/05/science/spider-tail-amber.html
(I don't remember if this has been posted before or not)
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/28166816_1863611053702164_1252798041558652168_n.png?oh=65d033fa8cf2527bc640dddfdeb75107&oe=5B10B2F4)
https://www.nytimes.com/video/science/100000005768876/pelican-spiders-ancient-assassins-that-eat-their-own-kind.html
(https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/75203347/just-nuke-and-pave-boys-nuke-and-pave.jpg)
Those are some awesome looking spiders! Creepy as hell, but, awesome.
Massive, 6-inch hairy spider saved from mind-blowing Australian flood (http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/03/13/massive-6-inch-hairy-spider-saved-from-mind-blowing-australian-flood.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fscitech+%28Internal+-+SciTech+-+Mixed%29)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa57.foxnews.com%2Fimages.foxnews.com%2Fcontent%2Ffox-news%2Fscience%2F2018%2F03%2F13%2Fmassive-6-inch-hairy-spider-saved-from-mind-blowing-australian-flood%2F_jcr_content%2Fpar%2Ffeatured_image%2Fmedia-0.img.jpg%2F931%2F524%2F1520943618800.jpg%3Fve%3D1%26amp%3Btl%3D1&hash=ffb0d61f43563ca2bdc63089925ce2684e5fa555)
Aww, isn't that sweet, I just wanna pet it with my paddlAAAH AAAAHHHH IT'S CLIMBING THE PADDLE AT ME AAAAAHHHHHHH!
^ROFL ;D
Something for Martok to look forward to in the near future..
Oh it's so cute with its little... knife legs...
:timeout:
Looks like something Specter would use to assasinate James Bond in bed.
Zombie Raccoons attack in Ohio:
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2018/04/03/zombie-raccoons-disease-virus/
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/daily-afternoon-randomness-49-photos-2534.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=641)
My question is, what did it eat while in there, to grow big enough to be unable to get out? :o
"Try killing me with fire, now, Martok! Ha! Ah-hahahahahaaaa!"
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/weekend-morning-awesomeness-37-photos-13.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
http://myfox8.com/2018/04/12/nope-north-carolina-restaurant-serving-up-tarantula-burger/
Quote from: bayonetbrant on April 13, 2018, 08:14:15 AM
http://myfox8.com/2018/04/12/nope-north-carolina-restaurant-serving-up-tarantula-burger/
I can't post enough barf emojis.
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/daily-afternoon-randomness-49-photos-25289.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=641)
^Guided ordnance magnets
Farewell, No. 16...worlds oldest spider (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2018/04/27/farewell-no-16-scientists-left-miserable-worlds-oldest-spider/)
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/f026599c057bd7259125c1bf09bf111c_width-600wtmk.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
That there Thor, he helps out where ever he can.
Known as the wrap-around spider, this spider can flatten and wrap its body around tree limbs as camouflage.
Look for it in Australia.
Look for it...
...just try.
Fuck Australia
No, but they're 30 feet long, armored, can swim in the ocean excellently, and have sharp teeth six inches long.
Going old school.
ROFL ;D O0
Seven new Tarantula species. Fuzzy but Tarantulas.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/tarantulas-spiders-new-species-high-elevation-news/
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40483854_2030912686997914_3318032428534071296_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&oh=75b392868c61c0f9bed5586b0e7442dc&oe=5C294D48)
Not a spider. Not enough legs.
I thought it was a couple shy. We have lots of harvest spiders in the garden at present, maybe due to the fact that the farmer has just taken in the harvest.
Quote from: MetalDog on September 02, 2018, 11:17:41 AM
Not a spider. Not enough legs.
That might be intentional as part of the visual joke: it's a "bug" not a spider. (Or perhaps a "Bug" not a "Spyder".)
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2018/09/04/doctor-finds-spider-spinning-webs-in-patients-ear.html
This might have been shown earlier upthread, but I didn't see it.
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/44023114_2091865647771835_3015108578420719616_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&oh=665523567a0fbe71e58252af5b9a7902&oe=5C5494F2)
....I didn't see it... >:D
It was. And I hope that pic was taken from outside your bedroom window.
... ah, yes, and confirmed from Australia. This led to my joke about the goats there being salt-water crocodiles.
In my defense, I just didn't see it. >:D
Please don't use a blowtorch to kill spiders (https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-man-using-blowtorch-to-kill-spiders-starts-house-fire)
Quote from: steve58 on October 24, 2018, 03:33:15 PM
Please don't use a blowtorch to kill spiders (https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-man-using-blowtorch-to-kill-spiders-starts-house-fire)
I saw that, too, and immediately thought of this thread. WHOEVER READ THIS THREAD, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!! #:-)
(...except for not moving to Australia. :peace: )
Words of wisdom for Martok.
Best avoid episode 4 of Dr Who, Martok. No kidding!
Spoilers!
Just don't want him to get traumatised is all :-)
...... this is 57 pages of fuck his trauma.
I knew we could count on you for a sympathetic approach. ::)
The Air Jordans sure didn't help.
Forget about the moat Martok because they can swim (https://video.foxnews.com/v/5856843982001/?#sp=show-clips)! :o
^Gotta light that moat on fire then, bro! O0
But then what will happen to Spider-puppy??
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/45556271_1063971923782364_4249995256084299776_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=503df2e8100ce59ca8d1a4ef17de998f&oe=5C703980)
I shared this horror yesterday over at the alternate forum...
My prevailing theory is that I binged most of "The Key of Awesome" over the past couple of weeks, and now Youtube thinks I want to see
non-satirical examples of the same thing. :buck2:
But when I saw the thumbnail, I instantly thought of the Martok spiderthread(s), so...! >:D
I forget. How do we feel about...
https://www.facebook.com/LiveLeakClub/videos/288427625350490/?t=12
Part of me wants to make fun of guys who use a fork lift to look under their cabin. Given what's under there, that's preferable to a 10 foot pole.
Australia's Peacock spider dances.
https://www.facebook.com/DailyMailAust/videos/595481204210441/?t=10
La di da di da, nothing to panic about here...
...one millllion subscribers.
3.2 mill views on this one.
Some new friends for Martok >:D
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa57.foxnews.com%2Fstatic.foxnews.com%2Ffoxnews.com%2Fcontent%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F03%2F1862%2F1048%2FNew-Spiders-2.jpg%3Fve%3D1%26amp%3Btl%3D1&hash=0b709a8e8dae19ffec367bbddfd3cef27a1b0b09)
https://www.foxnews.com/science/terrifying-new-spiders-discovered-in-australia
So does the one on the right spit fire or something?
The one on the left looks like Strong-bad.
https://www.ranker.com/list/there-are-billions-of-spiders-and-they-could-eat-us-all-in-one-year/katejacobson
Pretty grim future developing.
How many of those do we eat in our sleep every year....?
Quote from: JasonPratt on February 11, 2019, 01:48:46 PM
La di da di da, nothing to panic about here...
...one millllion subscribers.
3.2 mill views on this one.
Ironically, I'm subscribed to this guy's channel. It's bizarrely fascinating to watch.
Thomas, the tank engine, has sure evolved.
https://www.facebook.com/1pcreeper/videos/2403855836563652/?t=4
Where're Kurt Russell and his flamethrower when you really need 'em?
A garden spider built a web suspended over the width of my driveway - about 10 feet across. The web is over 6 feet high. I can walk under it without ducking.
I commend your courage, airboy. There is absolutely no way I could ever walk under that thing. :buck2:
Quote from: Martok on September 23, 2019, 10:15:54 PM
I commend your courage, airboy. There is absolutely no way I could ever walk under that thing. :buck2:
As long as you can see it you're good Martok.
I would cut down all the trees along my driveway first.
zefrank cracks me up every time. I still imagine Morgan Freeman narrating his videos. ;D
The Ogre Spider looks into your nightmares.
And screams.
At you.
Breaking! -- cute girl reviews spiders on Amazon. :coolsmiley:
That's definitely the most random/disturbing thing I've come across the last week. Thanks(?), Jason. :P
surprise scale that it was JP..... 0
Grogs would probably be good friends by whacking the spider with a baseball bat, while it was still on Martok's head.
You would all be welcome to wail away. (It's not like you can do more damage there anyway.) :P
Martok! I have good news!
If you're ever sitting on the pot in the morning, and you're about to get in the shower, and you pick up your underwear to put it in the hamper, and this spider jumps out from your underwear and starts zigging and zagging around in an obvious 'fight mode', and you spend the next two minutes trying to hunt and kill it, and you smush it a few times with some toilet paper and whenever you look inside IT JUMPS OUT AGAIN AND STARTS ZIPPING AROUND TRYING TO ESCAPE so that it can lie in wait somewhere else and bite you maybe....
...don't worry. As the tagline of that old movie from the 80s or 90s used to say:
"You can't kill what was never alive..."
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimageshack.com%2Fa%2Fimg924%2F605%2FDuR3RM.jpg&hash=2b486e99b2d81b398569764797624758f87fb5fd)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimageshack.com%2Fa%2Fimg922%2F9128%2Fk4zo96.jpg&hash=3a9844963f653b6c4a8facebdf5cd9c3c08ab254)
[spoiler]As far as I can tell, it's an accidental knot of carpet fuzz, which just happened to take the shape of a freaky deformed spider, but having much less mass than a spider of its equivalent size it not only jigged around on air currents, but even on ambient static electricity currents! -- partly generated by my own body. Even putting my finger near it to poke at it, 30 minutes later, caused its not-legs to start twitching and articulating around![/spoiler]
Just this morning, I saw another spider on the floor that turned out to be a piece of lint. :-[
The spidersaur.
https://paleontologyworld.com/exploring-prehistoric-life/spidersaur-largest-ever-fossil-jurassic-era-arachnid-found-perfectly
There's a mental image I can do without. :buck2:
Martok found a Spider at his house!
The spider got the snakes.
Thus the circle of life is complete.
https://www.foxnews.com/science/giant-spider-hauls-away-goldfish
Quote from: airboy on January 03, 2020, 11:34:23 AM
Martok found a Spider at his house!
Fake. My house would be nuked from orbit (it's the only way to be sure). >:D
Quote from: Labbug on January 04, 2020, 08:36:30 AM
https://www.foxnews.com/science/giant-spider-hauls-away-goldfish
Instead of using his flamethrower, he pulled out his camera?? There is something very wrong with that man.
This might be the one to push Martok over the edge. ::)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa57.foxnews.com%2Fstatic.foxnews.com%2Ffoxnews.com%2Fcontent%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F03%2F1862%2F1048%2FSpiderStarryNight.jpg%3Fve%3D1%26amp%3Btl%3D1&hash=737aa7b74fbaf6f058c06fdf175d539853a40bc2)
https://www.foxnews.com/science/expert-discovers-spider-looks-like-van-goghs-painting-starry-night
Oh, look! -- it's signaling its intentions!
.....to consume the starry host... :hide:
...And of course it's in Australia. Like they don't have enough of the bastards already. ::)
https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/massive-spider-viral-video-texas
:wow: :hide:
F*** that. :knuppel2:
(https://i.imgur.com/DmYqonS.jpg)
https://phys.org/news/2020-06-spider-baby-boom-warmer-arctic.html
https://weather.com/science/nature/news/2020-06-26-arctic-spider-baby-boom-global-warming
"We now have the longest time series of spiders collected the Arctic. The large amount of data allows us to show how small animals in the Arctic change their life history in response to climate change," says Toke T. Høye.
The long time series tells the researchers that the earlier the snow disappears from the ground, the greater the proportion of spiders that can produce a second clutch of offspring.
"These changes in the life history have not been seen earlier and evidence suggests that the phenomenon plays an important role for Arctic insects and spiders," Toke T. Høye says.
The researchers see the spiders' response to climate change as an ability to adapt to the new conditions.
Yeah, I read that. Just what this world needs -- even more spiders. :hide:
Global warming = more spider food = more spiders.
The GW activists should use that for promotional punch.
I think you just made the most compelling case for reducing carbon emissions that I could ever support. :D
Carbon makes more carbon dioxide.
More carbon dioxide makes more plants.
More plants makes more bugs.
More bugs makes more spiders.
More spiders...
Also, global warming makes plants grow very large, and so you need to, like, train yourself now for that eventuality.
Not that that's the plot of this game. It's really a homage to
Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
"...except in reality, it's a nightmare." :D >:D
Edited to add: don't worry, the thumbnail for the video doesn't appear in the game.
Quote from: JasonPratt on June 28, 2020, 08:58:41 PM
Edited to add: don't worry, the thumbnail for the video doesn't appear in the game.
No, but the spider that shows up at the end is still big enough. :buck2:
Quote from: Martok on June 27, 2020, 07:11:11 PM
Yeah, I read that. Just what this world needs -- even more spiders. :hide:
Jokes >:D on you Martok...here's yet another friend for you.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa57.foxnews.com%2Fstatic.foxnews.com%2Ffoxnews.com%2Fcontent%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F06%2F1862%2F1048%2FJoker-Spider-2-Alireza-Zamani.jpg%3Fve%3D1%26amp%3Btl%3D1&hash=20ede999b418f07e0105359e7f3fb186d305ccca)
https://www.foxnews.com/science/scientists-discover-joker-spider
At least they're little guys...plus they're almost pretty. Most importantly of all, however, they live far, far away from me. :P
Not mostly about its title topic, in case you're wondering.
Ebay managers sent live spiders (among other things) to ebay critics.
Does Martok have an online blog criticising Ebay?
https://www.foxbusiness.com/technology/ex-ebay-workers-plead-guilty-spiders-massachusetts-bloggers
For a change of topic... an island with an average of 1 to 5 fatally poisonous snakes every square meter!
Sadly, they don't eat spiders, but eat birds instead. Because no mammals survive on the island, so they have to go into the trees. Whence they sometimes fall upon visitors. Thus explaining the population density per surface square foot.
The birds probably eat some spiders. For whatever that's worth.
https://www.theblaze.com/news/good-news-a-species-of-giant-invasive-parachuting-spiders-is-expected-to-blanket-the-east-coast
According to experts, the Joro — a 3-inch invasive spider species from Japan — will likely soon blanket the entire east coast of the United States.
Joros were originally spotted in the United States in Georgia, and it is unknown how the species first made its way here; however, most experts guess that it likely arrived stowed away inside a shipping container. The spider is much larger than the average spider, commonly reaching up to 3 inches in diameter, and can float around in the air using a parachute made from its webbing material.
The species has largely been contained to the southeastern portion of the United States since its arrival; however, researchers now believe that the spider is much more resistant to cold temperatures than previously believed, and thus find it likely that the spider will soon proliferate at least throughout the eastern seaboard, given the lack of natural predators here in the states and the ease with which the spider travels.
However, while the size and parachuting behavior may be alarming to arachnophobes, scientists say that, like most spiders, the Joro is almost completely harmless to humans and will help to control the population of biting insects.
"Its fangs are so small relative to most human skin that it probably won't be able to get its fangs into you even if it wanted to," said Benjamin Frick, one of the co-authors of a recent study on Joros. Additionally, Joros generally seek to evade contact with humans and do not exhibit aggressive behavior towards them. Although Frick noted that the spiders are technically venomous, their venom is extremely mild and a bite would likely hurt "less than a wasp sting" in the unlikely event that you end up being bitten by one.
Despite their alarming appearance, Joros appear to not have any harmful effects on the foliage or wildlife here in the United States, and researchers advise people to get used to the sight of them. "People should try to learn to live with them," said Andy Davis, one of the study's other co-authors. "If they're literally in your way, I can see taking a web down and moving them to the side, but they're just going to be back next year."
As noted in this video from the University of Georgia, the Joro spider is likely here to stay:
Maybe they can be trained to hunt and kill stinkbugs!
Hey @Martok, there are now Dead spider necrobots (https://www.dailywire.com/news/a-horrific-way-to-pick-up-small-objects-researchers-using-dead-spiders-as-necrobotic-tools) :wow:
Of course there are, sigh.... :hide:
Checking positions of any asteroids in our vicinity for the next few years...
The Lurking Horror...
Tales of Congo, WW2, and Vietnam vets reporting giant spiders.
Yet another Australian beastie!
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-65048226
"not dangerous to humans" It would be dangerous to me as I'd probably trip and fall trying to get away.
I believe a lot of things, but I fail to believe humans are invulnerable to those fangs.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1643627580245921796
Terrifying, yes. "Oddly", nope, nothing odd about being terrified of that! Christ, what do all those things eat? Can't be each other...??
New fear unlocked.
Remember all those spiders we're supposed to swallow while asleep?
What if they decided to spin a web in an ear instead?
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/new-fear-unlocked-spider-spins-web-inside-man-s-ear-while-asleep/vi-AA1e25Cb?ocid=entnewsntp&cvid=7f288bc8009f45b2b8330c6cc851aa1a&ei=46
I am forced to assume this is another sign of impending Seven Last Years of Tribulation.
:ROFL:
https://twitter.com/i/status/1717261239574057329
Not sure if Martok is still around, but if not this thread must be part of the reason why.
So here, have a video about giant cryptozoological spiders!
By which I mean, spiders the size of a dog. Or to paraphrase Hooper from Jaws: "Now, you see that thumbnail? Those proportions are correct."
You're... ..... ...welcome? :HideEyes:
2024 and still these vile, evil creatures threaten us! "The largest male specimen of the world's most poisonous arachnid has been found by a member of the public in Australia."
Gaahh!: https://ca.rogers.yahoo.com/news/monstrous-funnel-spider-herculese-breaks-102927449.html
(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/yMmU7BwKzq6QiwTL0vZK6w--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTExNTE7Y2Y9d2VicA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_independent_577/a785172c8a650fcf7ad739ec5c4cbf4e)
Picture from Australia Reptile Park and the Oz 50 cent coin has a diametre of 31.65mm (an inch being 25.4mm). Next they'll be parading a giant drop bear!
is anyone surprised this fucker is in Australia?
I'm not.
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 05, 2024, 11:37:34 AMis anyone surprised this fucker is in Australia?
I'm not.
The spiders there have to be that big, so they can fight off the scorpions the size of your head.
Quote from: Sigwolf on January 05, 2024, 07:00:33 PMQuote from: GDS_Starfury on January 05, 2024, 11:37:34 AMis anyone surprised this fucker is in Australia?
I'm not.
The spiders there have to be that big, so they can fight off the scorpions the size of your head.
And the razorbacks the size of your SUV.