Star Wars 9 - Rise of Skywalker

Started by Grim.Reaper, April 12, 2019, 03:32:32 PM

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Grim.Reaper

Trailer released today.....being a Star Wars homer, looking forward to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adzYW5DZoWs

Anguille

#1
Can only be better than the last one....has to be. Going to be a long wait....good to see Lando. Hope we'll finally have some answers.

JasonPratt

#2
0.) I start out annoyed before a single frame, thanks to YT's new "feature" of narrow-widescreening theater aspecting some videos. Not the commercial's fault or anything to do with Star Wars' current state of existence. It just looks dumb. I switch over to full screen.

1.) Don't care about her story anymore. But she's going to be in it, so whatever.

2.) "We've passed on all we know." -- you literally passed on nothing in the previous movie, which you fully intended. Your lessons weren't to train her (which she didn't need anyway because she doesn't even need the books she rescued, "Already she knows all she needs," or whatever.) Your three lessons (and you never got to the third) were to teach her that the Jedi have to end. You thought Yoda burned the books, and were upset he did so, EVEN THOUGH YOU YOURSELF WERE GOING TO BURN THEM!  :pullhair: (After which Yoda completely disses any value to the books.) So I have no reason to suspect the books will be important either.

The trailer starts with blatant lies. But I'll assume she has some kind of force connection with the books and gets force trained by having the knowledge plugged into her so that she now knows kung fu, even though she didn't need to train even slightly for any period of time at all to already be the most powerful semi-Jedi evar.

3.) "A thousand generations live on in you." I suppose this will be how her marvelousness, too good for this sinful earth, will be explained. Somehow.

4.) Oh, her hair is back to that pointlessly complex shape from Ep 7 (which she kept since she was five). It made more sense when she lost her non-desert-dwelling-hairdo (from back growing up in the desert) during the dark side dive. That was the only thing that made sense about that dive, so they're reversing that one minor positive improvement now. Yay.

5.) John Williams nostalgic score is nostalgic, but I have plenty of other better films to be nostalgic with that score over.

6.) Cinematography looks good.

7.) The concept of having someone flip backwards to strike a speeding Tie Ravager (or whatever it's called), looks nifty, and seems like something cool and unexpected a Jedi would do. I'd be more impressed if they hadn't already made her so overpoweredly the best evar. (First time shooting the Falcon's guns ever, she kills three Ties with one shot. That's like satire, but we're supposed to take it seriously and be impressed at how she doesn't even have to work to be so awesome.) I don't think, wow, she's worked really hard and gotten a lot better, good for her! -- I think, huh, I bet she pulls this out of nowhere on the spur of the moment.

8.) Kylo Ren killing some poor schlub in a burning forest with his broken lightsaber. Looks cool, nice cinematography, swelling music is nostalgic. Don't care.

9.) Whats....... oh. Okay, he's fixing his mask. But giving it fake scars, so people will think it has authentic battle damage (Kung Fu Panda ref!  :D ) instead of being smashed up by him in a pathetic fit because Snoke, whom we aren't supposed to care about anymore, told him to stop wearing it because it's stupid. ... ....... I CLAPPED, I CLAPPED WHEN I SAW IT, SCREW YOU SNOKE!!!1

10.) Look, Finn and Poe are posing in the movie, too, doing nothing that matters! Nice cinematography, swelling music is nostalgic.

11.) BB8 is cocking his little head at me sadly, questioning my attitude toward this trailer. Is that a nondescript pet droid of his own at hi---nevermindmovingquicklyalong

12.) Oh, poor Lando, they did drag you into this, didn't they? Lando looks like he's genuinely having fun. Doing nothing very obviously important, just going somewhere in the Falcon. Chewie means nothing to this series anymore, so is given nothing to do but at least he's with a friend having some fun. Good for them. Get out of this fiasco, guys, at ludicrous speed.

13.) "The Saga Comes To An End". Already did in Episode IX. (Heck, it ended on such a hard stop that I'm not even kidding by calling it Episode 9 by accident. I genuinely always think that TLJ is "Episode IX". I always have to correct myself that it was only Ep 8. I didn't even catch myself here until reading it over again to late the hate flow freely!) There's practically nothing to resolve. The bad guys looked like incompetent comical trash in the last film, in order for the plot to continue past the first three minutes onward through the entire running time, so I'm not worried about any threat (never shown, only heard about) of them "reigning", when all I've seen of them has been destroyed completely or reduced to a couple dozen bulky walkers.

14.) Bang whizz in the desert. Excitement? C3P0, check, just along for the ride, check. Best orchestration of this music ever, possibly. Lots of unseen talent in the background killing themselves to give their all for this film.

15.) Fingering something that looks like a cheap prop, of no clear importance. Maybe it's important to hardcore fans, which the producers have been pissing on for years now. But I don't know what it is or why I should care.

16.) Aw, she survived long enough to be in a scene hugging Rey! That's nice. Rey, whom she knew for around fifteen minutes in the previous film, I think, but hey, she liked Rey so much that instead of asking one of her longest friends what happened to her husband that she felt, she went and hugged Rey!! So.... this fits. I guess. The prior two films have less than no reason to care about Rey's relationship to Leia. "Like Rey, please like her!" choruses the music at this shot! "The dead character you like so much likes her! Doesn't that tug at your every heartstring?!" (Scrooged ref!  :D )

17.) "I'll always be with you." {shrug} I guess, because Force Ghosts are an established thing, so sure. But Luke HATED EVERY MOMENT he spent with Rey. And she hated being with him and being so disappointed in him, and his refusal to go help his own family and friends at least, so she abandoned him and went back to do it herself. He wasn't her teacher, he was explicitly her anti-teacher. And he doesn't fake showing up at the end to not-rescue her as a distraction, he fake-showed-up to not-rescue his sister, and maybe to get some closure with Kylo. I would a lot more fully believe Luke is saying this if Kylo was on screen right now. That would be dramatically interesting!

18.) Surviving cast shot in a grey-blue uninteresting place doing nothOH HEY, THERE WAS A PET ROBOT NOW FOR BB8! (The only shot so far that doesn't look great. Could still be fixed in post.)

19.) ....what? BWAHAHAHAHAHA OM MY GOD THERE WAS AN ENDOR HOLOCAUST!! Most interesting and also unintentionally amusing thing in the trailer so far. I take back the uninteresting grey-blue surviving character pose shot. That was worth it.

20.) ...........really? They're dragging Palpatine into this, too? "No one's ever really gone." sigh. Could be interesting but I have no confidence anymore.

21.) Official title (unless they change it ;) ), "The Rise of Skywalker". Nice try, movie, but I don't believe it.

Best version of the Skywalker theme ever. Film should look great. I almost couldn't care less. Will probably let my nieces drag me to it, to be with them. Will try to be nice while I'm there. Let the hate flow through you! Kill the past two films, burn it if you have to, etc.


Sorry, franchise. You squandered my goodwill and insulted me for caring (and I'm not even a hardcore fan). You don't get a free pass anymore. The grand finale might in theory be great but I have no basis for thinking so and plenty of past experience with your creators to doubt it (long before Ep 7, in JJ's case). Sometimes a series can slam catastrophically out of control and scream flaming off a cliff, and still come back strong. But I'm not going to assume it will.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

JasonPratt

Quote from: Anguille on April 12, 2019, 03:53:05 PM
Hope we'll finally have some answers.

JJ Abrams does not have a great track record of that, even when he has his own stable of writers on a project. After Rian burned down the franchise, while foisting in a script based on an idea he had before JJ wrote Ep 7? --- my lack of faith is palpable.




(IT'S A PUN! BECAUSE PALPATINE IS LAUGHING AT US FROM THE TRAILER!!!  :D  >:D )
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

Huw the Poo

#4
Quote from: Anguille on April 12, 2019, 03:53:05 PM
Can only be better than the last one

"The last one" is quite possibly one of the worst films of all time.  It would take a deliberate, conscious effort to make a worse film.

SirAndrewD

I'll hold my full judgement on the individual parts of the trilogy until we see the final film.

I am cautiously optimistic about the possibility that they'll at least make Palpatine relevant to the sequels.  Without him at least having some kind of influence, it's made the movies seem overall pointless since the story was pretty much wrapped up with a bow at the end of Return of the Jedi.  The Last Jedi made it seem even more pointless since it turned out Snoke was just a red herring. 


We'll see.  Though it is telling that I'm a lot more excited about The Mandalorian and the return of the Clone Wars than I am about the impending release of this film. 
"These men do not want a happy ship. They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable. Last week was my birthday. Nobody even said "happy birthday" to me. Someday this tape will be played and then they'll feel sorry."  - Sgt. Pinback

Tpek

#6
Quote from: Anguille on April 12, 2019, 03:53:05 PM
Can only be better than the last one....has to be. Going to be a long wait....good to see Lando. Hope we'll finally have some answers.

Please don't jinx it!

The previous film is one of the dumbest movies ever produced.


You know things are bad in the Star Wars franchise when you actually miss that highly forgettable movie about the Ewoks on Endor. :buck2:

EDIT: Actually bothered to watch the teaser now...
Ohhh ************ no!
This might actually compete with the previous film for stupidity.

And frankly, putting Carrie Fisher in the teaser/trailer seems highly disrespectful towards her. They're using a loved actress who passed away to drag people to watch this crap.

Staggerwing

Quote from: Tpek on April 13, 2019, 08:04:41 AM
Quote from: Anguille on April 12, 2019, 03:53:05 PM
Can only be better than the last one....has to be. Going to be a long wait....good to see Lando. Hope we'll finally have some answers.

Please don't jinx it!

The previous film is one of the dumbest movies ever produced.


You know things are bad in the Star Wars franchise when you actually miss that highly forgettable movie about the Ewoks on Endor. :buck2:

Don't overlook the brilliant Star Wars Christmas special...

Cliffnotes version:



The whole thing complete with genuine period-correct advertisements:
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

Tpek

#8
In any case, here's a refresher course on the races of Star Wars, so you can catch up before Rise of the Sewage Water comes out.




EDIT: For those that want more recaps:

Star Trek Races:


Lord of the Rings:

Sir Slash

This is becoming a very racist thread. If I'm allowed to say, 'thread' without offending any seamstresses her about. If so, then please spit at my message and shut me off. Thank you.  :peace:
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Tpek

Quote from: Sir Slash on April 13, 2019, 10:23:48 AM
This is becoming a very racist thread. If I'm allowed to say, 'thread' without offending any seamstresses her about. If so, then please spit at my message and shut me off. Thank you.  :peace:

Because of the discussion on Star Wars (and Star Trek) Races? :P

JasonPratt

I thought it was because of the Race of Skywalker.



....Rise! Oh, Rise! Race of the Skywalker was Episode 1.

"Now this is pod-racing!"
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

JasonPratt

To be as fair as possible to the Ep 9 trailer: if I didn't have prior context, I would think the trailer looks and certainly sounds promising, if kind of empty on plot details (not surprisingly, given that it's an early teaser).
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

Tpek

Quote from: JasonPratt on April 13, 2019, 01:48:44 PM
To be as fair as possible to the Ep 9 trailer: if I didn't have prior context, I would think the trailer looks and certainly sounds promising, if kind of empty on plot details (not surprisingly, given that it's an early teaser).

What happened to the days when trailers weren't supposed to reveal the entire plot and you actually had to watch the movie or read about it?
These days almost every trailer just straight gives out the entire plot, with the movie itself doing nothing more than to pad the trailer with some more CGI action scenes.

Staggerwing

Actually, most of the MCU trailers have been pretty good at keeping much of the plot a surprise. While they may spoil a few bits of the best dialogue and some key scenes I've always been surprised at how much more movie I actually got to see than i expected from its trailers.
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys