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NFL QB's on Facebook

Started by Arctic Blast, March 25, 2013, 12:22:02 PM

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MetalDog

It's like they read this place or something.
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob

BanzaiCat

I had told the guy that writes the column about us (I told him how I heard about his site, which was through here), when I had posted a comment to the thread about a typo. He actually wrote me back and thanked me at length for the feedback - nice guy. I doubt he mines us for comedy material, though it would behoove him to try. :)

MetalDog

Well, he couldn't have written a more fitting tribute to the inmates that inhabit this asylum.
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob

GDS_Starfury

we are a beacon of light amongst the wasteland that is the internet!
Toonces - Don't ask me, I just close my eyes and take it.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


bayonetbrant

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-tl-dr/

QuoteBEN ROETHLISBERGER     OUR OUTSTANDING RUNNING GUYS, "THE VEON BELL" AND "THE GARRETTE BLOUNT," TRULY CARRIED US TO VICTORY.

MATT RYAN      You mean LeVeon Bell and LeGarrette Blount?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER     I WAS TRANSLATING FROM THEIR NATIVE FRENCH.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

GDS_Starfury

that was about as meh as this season so far.
Toonces - Don't ask me, I just close my eyes and take it.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Martok

Quote from: GDS_Starfury on September 25, 2014, 11:49:13 PM
that was about as meh as this season so far.
Agreed.  There were still some funny moments, but overall I'd say this was easily their weakest one of the season thus far. 




On another note, PFM decided to rip open old wounds on every Vikings fan from the last 25 years... 

Quote
Dallas Cowboys Ship Four High Draft Picks To Vikings As Part Of Long-Awaited 2nd Half Of Herschel Walker Trade


MINNEAPOLIS – The Minnesota Vikings announced today that they have triggered the long-awaited "part two" option of the infamous 1989 Herschel Walker trade, and as a result the Dallas Cowboys must now give the Vikings their first and second round picks in next May's NFL draft, as well as a first and third round pick in the 2016 draft, sources close to the Vikings confirmed today.

"We've informed the commissioner's office that we are exercising the send half trigger on the Herschel Walker trade," said Vikings G.M. Rick Spielman. "We're very excited to have four high draft choices, including two first rounders, coming our way during the next two drafts with which to rebuild our team's talent base."

Reporters at the press conference expressed surprise that the quarter-century old trade had not yet been fully consummated already.

"Wait, you mean that for all these years, you guys have been thinking that we gave Dallas three first round picks, a bunch of second and third round picks, PLUS several starting caliber players, all to get just one guy?" said Spielman.  "Jesus, you all must have thought we were morons."

"No, what happened was, back in '89 (former Vikings General Manager) Mike Lynn agreed to give all those picks and players to the Cowboys in exchange for Herschel Walker, but naturally he insisted that Dallas throw a provision into the deal for us to get 'several high draft choices to be named later.' Well it's twenty-five years later, and we're ready to name those picks."

"Obviously, we're disappointed to lose these draft selections to the Vikings, but a deal is a deal," a disheartened Jerry Jones told reporters. "To tell you the truth, I'd completely forgotten that we'd added that 'delayed gratification' clause to the original trade. But it's standard language for an NFL transaction. For example, back in 2008 I acquired Roy Williams from Detroit in exchange for a first, third and sixth round pick that year. But I also agreed to give them our first round picks for 2017, '18, and '19, so eventually we'll have to... oh god," moaned the Cowboys owner before burying his head in his hands and weeping softly.

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Martok

#202
"INSTANT SCARMA"



Definitely better than last week.  This one had lots of good bits IMO (although I can't deny this one stung a little): 

Quote
ELI MANNING Wow, so the Ravens are actually pretty good this season huh?

COLIN KAEPERNICK Yep. And just imagine how much better they might be if they hadn't lost their star RB to a scandal.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS FANS Yes. Just imagine.

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

BanzaiCat


GDS_Starfury

thats disrespecting the London Dolphins!
Toonces - Don't ask me, I just close my eyes and take it.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Martok

"Milestoned"



Not as good as last week's IMO, but still pretty funny.  Roethlisberger had me chuckling more than normal. 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

bayonetbrant

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-looney-tunes/

Katy Perry shows up, but Ben has the best line in a while...

QuoteBEN ROETHLISBERGER   IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE THEN IT ISN'T FUNNY, ANDREW LUCK.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

BanzaiCat

There were several LOL moments in that one. The Def Leppard reference made me laugh, I admit.

Martok

LOL.  Yeah, I found this one to be pretty good. 



Quote
BROWNS FANS What... what is this weird feeling we have right now?

BRIAN HOYER It's called "Pride."

BROWNS FANS WELL IT'S TOTALLY CREEPING US OUT.
:2funny:

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Martok

#209
"Opposite Day"


I'd say this is one of their weaker efforts this season, although I respect they seem to be trying to make this a yearly "thing".  Also, Wilson starting to lose his "trolljo" is pretty entertaining. 




Quote
DeMARCO MURRAY CLEARLY, I AM THE GREATEST RUNNING BACK IN DALLAS COWBOYS HISTORY!

EMMITT SMITH Now wait just a minute here...

NICK FOLES YOU SEE? YOU SEE? IT'S OPPOSITE DAY!

TOM BRADY How is that opposite day? DeMarco Murray always gains 100 yards.

NICK FOLES Yes, but he didn't fumble this week.

TOM BRADY Okay, that is kind of weird. Still, does it really qualify as an opposite day event...

NICK FOLES And the Cowboys home crowd actually cheered. Loudly. FOR THE COWBOYS!

RYAN TANNEHILL Whoa. OPPOSITE DAY IS REAL!

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces