Chevy Releases California Compliant Vehicles

[airboy]

California is banning any new gasoline powered vehicles after 2035.  Chevy has gotten a jump on the competition!

Here is the press release for the new wheels:

DETROIT, MI—General Motors is making waves after a surprise unveiling of a line of exciting new California-compliant vehicles. After a week of building anticipation, officials at the company revealed its latest innovation for the West Coast: the 2021 Horse And Buggy.

The curiosity started last week when GM's Twitter account dropped a cryptic photo of a lone carrot with the phrase "It's coming." Finally, at a live event this week, officials at the company pulled the cover off a stylish, elegant carriage pulled by a powerful single horse.

"We had to re-think everything," said lead designer Abraham Moses Jehoshaphat from rural Pennsylvania. "With California outlawing gas-powered cars, we had to research new technology for propelling a four-wheeled vehicle forward. After countless hours of research and billions of dollars, this is what we came up with. It's an organic, intelligent engine capable of listening to your voice commands and even reproducing other engines. A true miracle of modern science. Levi Berkenbosch from down the road donated it, which is nice. Her name's Sal."

The 2021 Horse & Buggy will come in a one or two horsepower option. Instead of dirty fossil fuels that make Mother Earth cry, the Horse & Buggy will be powered by organic oats and carrots, which can be picked up at your local Whole Foods for $12,000 per pound. Instead of plush bucket seats, riders will be treated to a solid oak plank carved from a single tree that will crack your pelvis every time you hit a pothole.

"The only downside to this amazing machine is you have to stop every 23 feet to pick up poop," said Jehoshaphat. "Although, if you're riding it through a San Francisco tent city no one will probably notice. Also, this old girl's a little skittish around fire, which I hear could be a problem in California."

Chevy confirmed they plan to release many more exciting new California-compliant models in the future such as the "Chariot," the "Flintstone," and the "100 Giant Helium Balloons Tied To A Harness On Your Back." You're welcome, Mother Nature!

[see: https://babylonbee.com/news/california-to-replace-cars-with-new-greener-horse-drawn-carriages
The California law is not satire].

[airboy]

Here is the reaction by the Governor of California:

SACRAMENTO, CA—In a move to prevent Californians from fleeing by the millions, Gavin Newsom announced a ban on gasoline automobiles this week.

The law will make it so that Californians can't drive away and escape the state in a matter of hours, forcing them to instead form migrant caravans and make the treacherous trek across the blistering deserts of the Southwest.

"Now, they'll have to cross the desert on foot," Newsom said as he handed down the order. "I'll show them to flee my progressive utopia! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Newsom also redirected the small amount of water left in the state to his personal reservoirs. Poor, disheveled survivors of the hellscape stood beneath his fortress, begging for a drop.

"Do not, my friends, become addicted to water, or it will take hold of you and you will resent its absence!" Newsom shouted after blasting them with water for a few precious moments.

https://babylonbee.com/news/newsom-bans-cars-to-make-it-harder-for-people-to-escape-california

[Sir Slash]

Damn! Is it too late to get our money back from Mexico for that place?  :hide:

[demjansk1942]

This State is terrible and now I know why Kimberly Guilfoyle divorced this loser.  He's a joke and wait until he runs for president.  Maybe Newsome vs Little Trump

Don't laugh, it could happen.

[Sir Slash]

I'm thinking the Battle Royale next time will be Newsome vs Como for the Democrat spot. A little, 'East Coast vs West Coast'. Maybe on Pay-Per-View.  <:-)