Author Topic: NFL QB's on Facebook  (Read 37118 times)

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Offline GDS_Starfury

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #105 on: December 23, 2013, 01:31:20 PM »
Meh...  we're more funnier on a slow day then professional writers.
Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #106 on: December 23, 2013, 03:41:22 PM »
Russell Wilson was the bomb in this one

They've actually done so well at making him into the ultimate troll that I found myself wondering if he actually did intentionally throw that game...

The Newton-Big Ben exchange was really good, too. I also liked the end.

Quote
ANDY DALTON - But since it is Christmas and all, could we maybe end this convo on a positive, upbeat note?
TOM BRADY - True dat. Let’s take a moment to put aside our differences and appreciate the most wonderful part of this joyous season.
TONY ROMO - That the Giants aren’t in the playoffs to fuck everyone’s shit up?
TOM BRADY - Exactly.
COLIN KAEPERNICK - Hear, hear.
AARON RODGERS - Amen to that.
ELI MANNING - I STILL WANT A SECRET SANTA GIFT!


Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #107 on: December 29, 2013, 01:33:28 PM »
soooooooo NSFW, but soooooooo funny


The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #108 on: December 29, 2013, 03:26:39 PM »
LOL!  Yeah, that was wrong, but hilarious. 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #109 on: December 30, 2013, 11:03:10 AM »
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-seeding-arrangements/

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MAGIC 8-BALL   ALL SIGNS POINT TO “LOL”

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DREW BREES    See, I prefer to think of you as “Captain Playoff Interception Von Foreheadstein”
« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 11:05:07 AM by bayonetbrant »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #110 on: December 30, 2013, 04:21:19 PM »
Quote
JERRY JONES - DAGNABBIT! WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS TEAM INTO THE POSTSEASON?!
JERRY JONES - It seems like no matter who the QB is, no matter who calls the plays, no matter WHO runs the defense, we just KEEP COMING UP SHORT.
JERRY JONES - AS THE COWBOYS G.M. FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS, I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IS!
DAN SNYDER is similarly perplexed


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KYLE ORTON - I still feel bad about letting down all the Cowboys fans watching that game.
COWBOYS FANS - It’s cool. We’re used to it.


Quote
ATLANTA FALCONS FANS - Man, missing the playoffs sure does suck.
BALTIMORE RAVENS FANS - True. But at least we still have coaching stability…
NEW YORK GIANTS FANS - Quality team ownership…
HOUSTON TEXANS FANS - And a high draft pick with which to improve!
WASHINGTON REDSKINS FANS - (sob)

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #111 on: December 31, 2013, 03:13:19 AM »
^  LOL!  Yeah, those are good. 

A pity I can't actually read the stupid thing at the moment.  I keep getting a "404 Not Found" error when I go to the site.  :( 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #112 on: December 31, 2013, 12:29:28 PM »
Ah, finally I was able to get on the site and read this week's entry! 


It's not as funny as last week's, but IMO it's still one of their better efforts this season.  AB already posted my favorite highlights, but I also enjoyed the 8-ball, along with the bit where Meg Griffin, King Joffrey, and Jar-Jar all bash on Romo.  ;D 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #113 on: January 06, 2014, 02:43:02 PM »
It's the Wild Card Shuffle



LOL.  Another solid entry.  It seems like the writers have finally gotten their act together the last few weeks.  I loved the appearance by Santa Claus! 

Oh yeah, and the last bit with Bradford and Brees was perfect.  ;D 




Quote
CHIEFS FANS Hey, we’re not complaining. Andy Reid did an awesome job this year.

CHIEFS FANS We’re thankful he took us all the way to the playoffs, even if we didn’t go as far as we would have liked.

EAGLES FANS Check back with us after about 14 years of that shit and see how you feel then.


Quote

ELI MANNING Wow, that’s a pretty amazing factoid.

COLIN KAEPERNICK What? That both Nick Foles and Drew Brees graduated from the same high school?

ELI MANNING No, that Nick Foles actually graduated from high school, period.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER THEY’RE CALLING NICK FOLES DUMB. THOUGH I’M NOT REALLY SURE WHY.

TOM BRADY Your job is to explain the jokes, Roethlisberger. Not to question their logic.


Quote
RGIII SHUT UP. NO WAY SHOULD I BE COMPARED TO BRANDON WEEDEN

TONY ROMO True. He does have two working knees after all.


Quote
MARSHAWN LYNCH BEAST MODE IS ARTIST. PUNY SAINTS DEFENSE MERELY HIS CANVAS.

ROB RYAN Not this time, FreakMode. I shut down the birdshit Eagle offense on Saturday, I can sure as hell stop you flappy bastards too.

MARSHAWN LYNCH BEAST MODE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THREATS FROM FAT VERSION OF REX RYAN. BEAST MODE KNOW ROAD TO SUPER BOWL RUN THROUGH SEATTLE AND OVER BACKS OF PUNY SAINTS JERSEYS


"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #114 on: January 06, 2014, 03:14:20 PM »
the Eagles fans made me chuckle, and Ben starting question things was good for a smile, but the best recent one was still the Secret Santa column - especially Russell Wilson.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #115 on: January 06, 2014, 03:54:37 PM »
I enjoyed Ben starting to question the jokes.

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #116 on: January 13, 2014, 12:22:58 PM »
Played Off:  Let the snarking begin! 



Definitely not as good as last week, although the Chargers defense constantly jumping offsides every time Peyton says "Omaha!" was pretty funny.  This part near the end was perhaps my favorite, though: 

Quote

TOM BRADY Okay. And if I win, you have to tattoo “I’m an overrated, untalented, floating toilet pretzel of a man, and on my best day, I’m not fit to carry Tom Brady’s enormous jockstrap to the Patriots’ official team laundromat, which is probably for the best since it would just end up getting picked off when I tried to drop it in the hamper anyway” on YOUR forehead.

CARSON PALMER What’ll he do with all the leftover space?

ELI MANNING I’m guessing a Papa John’s ad.

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Centurion40

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #117 on: January 13, 2014, 12:34:59 PM »
Ok, that's funny!
Any time is a good time for pie.

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #118 on: January 13, 2014, 12:46:29 PM »
as a Saints fan, I have to agree that Colston was the Fucking Moron of the Week.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Steelgrave

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #119 on: January 13, 2014, 01:08:13 PM »
Good one this week. I like how the Chargers defense kept jumping offside, ha!