Author Topic: NFL QB's on Facebook  (Read 37123 times)

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Offline Steelgrave

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #210 on: October 28, 2014, 09:05:55 AM »
In related news, I got a chuckle out of today's ProFootballTalk when they listed this weeks current Power Rankings. Here is the bottom of the list with their commentary:

28. Tennessee Titans (No. 28; 2-6):  Somewhere, Mike Munchak is cackling.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars (No. 30; 1-7):  Somewhere, Mike Mularkey is cackling.

30. New York Jets (No. 26; 1-7):  Somewhere, Rich Kotite is cackling.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (No. 31; 1-6):  Somewhere, Greg Schiano is cackling.

32. Oakland Raiders (No. 32; 0-7):  Somewhere, Dennis Allen, Hue Jackson, Tom Cable, Lane Kiffin, Art Shell, Norv Turner, and Bill Callahan are cackling.

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #211 on: October 28, 2014, 09:21:41 AM »
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-halloweird/

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BEN ROETHLISBERGER     FIVE TOUCHDOWNS IS VERY GOOD, TOM BRADY. IN FACT, THAT IS ONLY 2 LESS THAN THE SIX I THREW YESTERDAY.

Quote
  BEN ROETHLISBERGER   I FOOTBALLED GOOD.

TONY ROMO   That’s unbelievable Ben. How’d you manage that?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER   SIMPLE. COACH TODD HALEY TOLD ME TO EXPLOIT THE UNDERNEATH ZONES IN THE COLTS BASE 3-4 SCHEME, THEN UTILIZE A MIXTURE OF SHORT SLANT PATTERNS AND PLAY ACTION BOMBS TO KEEP THEIR SAFETIES OFF-BALANCE.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER       BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THAT MEANT SO HE JUST TOLD ME TO AIM FOR THE BUMBLEBEES INSTEAD.
« Last Edit: October 28, 2014, 09:23:41 AM by bayonetbrant »
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Offline Steelgrave

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #212 on: October 28, 2014, 11:30:21 AM »
"Aim for the Bumblebees" LMAO!!!   ;D

Offline Bison

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #213 on: October 28, 2014, 03:03:08 PM »
If I was the Steelers ownership, I'd make them wear those uniforms every week until they lose.

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #214 on: October 29, 2014, 06:32:12 AM »
Ha!  This newest episode pretty much confirms Russell Wilson as being one of my favorites on there. 



Quote
AARON RODGERS THIS IS AWFUL. IT’S TERRIBLE! WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL WINNING STREAK THAT WAS SNAPPPED BY A FRUSTRATING LOSS!

RUSSELL WILSON Just like us. Only in reverse.

RUSSELL WILSON Ahh. It’s like getting back on a bike

 ;D

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline GDS_Starfury

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #215 on: November 02, 2014, 09:21:44 PM »
only 2 more F1 races this season.  :'(
Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #216 on: November 04, 2014, 04:17:28 AM »
They're channeling their inner Starry

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-flowers-ben/

Quote
TEDDY BRIDGEWATER   HOW DARE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE CORRECT MY GRAMMER! THEIRS NOT A QB ALIVE WITH LESS WORKING BRAIN CELLS THEN YOU!

Honestly, it's a solid filler track.  It's "Think About You" from side 2 of Appetite for Destruction: you don't skip it when the CD is playing, but you don't go out of your way to put that track on a mix tape (or a playlist for you under-40s out there).
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #217 on: November 04, 2014, 06:18:47 AM »
Heh; loved the title this week.  Watching Ben and Teddy go back & forth was pretty funny. 




This running joke got old by the time Mark Sanchez entered the conversation, but I respect the writers' commitment to it: 

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER Precisely. Brandon Weeden is the superfluous nipple of the Dallas Cowboys offense.

JASON GARRETT Well, get used to it. Because Weeden may have to start again for us next week.

DEZ BRYANT (Trembles fearfully)

JERRY JONES (Makes whimpering noises)

COWBOYS FANS (Vacate bowels)

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline MetalDog

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #218 on: November 04, 2014, 06:02:29 PM »
Even taken completely out of context, the last line is the best line:


BEN ROETHLISBERGER  I FORGOT HOW TO SMART
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob

Offline GDS_Starfury

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #219 on: November 08, 2014, 12:48:36 AM »
thats pretty much our governments motto at this point.  :-\
Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #220 on: November 08, 2014, 02:06:24 PM »
No, Ben has more self-awareness than that. 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #221 on: November 11, 2014, 12:12:48 AM »
"THAT'S ADORABLE"




Aside from the bit about Tom Brady having sex with the first Queen Elizabeth (no, it doesn't really make sense even in context), this felt like one of their better efforts.  I enjoyed the running gag of Big Ben constantly mismatching major cities and their nicknames. 

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER THEY SAY YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MORE WRETCHED HIVE OF SCUM AND VILLAINY THAN OAKLAND.

RGIII You’re thinking of Mos Eisley Spaceport, Ben.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Actually no, it applies to Oakland as well.



And of course, this part couldn't fail to crack me up: 

Quote
WILLIAM SHATNER Man, what a ham that guy is.

 ;D

« Last Edit: November 11, 2014, 06:14:55 AM by Martok »
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #222 on: November 11, 2014, 04:53:56 AM »
not bad, but I did't LOL at this like I have at a lot of others
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #223 on: November 18, 2014, 07:44:40 AM »
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebookablast/

Quote
JAY CUTLER     Well I have to say, after a week of being criticized and mocked by every dickhole in the sporting universe, getting my team back on the winning track feels so, so… ah, fuck it, I don’t really give a shit either way



Quote
DREW STANTON     Detroit WISHES it had a top notch QB like me.
DETROIT LIONS     We did have you. Back in 2008. We were 0-16 and you contributed to many of our losses.


once the inevitable Aaron Rodgers jokes start, there's too much to post here.  But it's almost like these guys are channeling Star and Mirth as Rodgers and Brady
« Last Edit: November 18, 2014, 07:53:02 AM by bayonetbrant »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #224 on: November 18, 2014, 08:21:40 AM »
I enjoyed this one, if for no other reason than that it allowed Sam Bradford and gay jokes involving Aaron Rodgers to feature prominently: 


Quote
PEYTON MANNING Oh, there’s no point in getting mad. Since this was OBVIOUSLY “ASSBLAST WEEK.”

JOE FLACCO Um… come again?

SAM BRADFORD Oh, I simply couldn’t. Seven times in one hour is my limit.
Quote
SHAUN HILL FACE IT MANNING, YOU GOT RAM-SHACKLED YESTERDAY BY A MIGHTY RAMS TEAM THAT FINALLY HAD THEIR MOST TALENTED QB HEALTHY AND LEADING THEM TO VICTORY.

RYAN TANNEHILL “Most talented QB?” I thought that was Sam Bradford

SHAUN HILL COME AGAIN?

SAM BRADFORD Okay, if you insist. NNNGGHHHHHHHH.


 :2funny:

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces