Author Topic: NFL QB's on Facebook  (Read 37110 times)

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Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #45 on: September 23, 2013, 02:11:42 PM »
GREAT SCOTT!! 


I think Cam Newton has my favorite line this week:  "Seriously Eli, why are you so afraid of scoring? Were you molested by a touchdown once or something?"  <cackle> 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #46 on: September 23, 2013, 02:45:21 PM »
I was starting to fear they'd jumped the shark, but this week's was pretty damn good - especially the end of it

I also loved:
Cam Newton: Hey guys, in the interest of being politically correct, I say we stop referring to Griffin’s team as the “Redskins”
Cam Newton: And instead we call them “The Washington Bye Weeks”
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Bison

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #47 on: September 23, 2013, 04:35:33 PM »
They should have dog piled Eli and Kaepernick MOAAR!

Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #48 on: September 26, 2013, 04:17:48 PM »
It's Pro Football Mock, so I'm putting it here : http://profootballmock.com/iphone-text/intercepted-text-roger-goodell-gets-results-nfl-drug-tests/

Quote
Did you find any traces of drugs in Pacman Jones’ urine sample?
It would be more accurate to say that we found some traces of urine in Pacman Jones’ drug sample.

Quote
Colin Kaepernick?
We didn’t check his sample.
Why not?
When he tried to hand us the cup, Richard Sherman intercepted it.

Quote
Mark Sanchez?
Unfortunately we weren’t able to collect a usable sample from Mr. Sanchez.
Because?
He kept missing the cup.
Every time?
Zero-for-10 attempts.

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #49 on: September 27, 2013, 05:51:10 PM »
LOL!  Those are great. 



Quote
Brandon Weeden?
Pure, concentrated sadness

Quote
Sam Bradford?
You really don't want to know, trust me.

Quote
Bill Belicheck?
An extraordinarily high count of negatively-charged midi-chlorians.

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #50 on: September 30, 2013, 11:56:48 AM »
« Last Edit: September 30, 2013, 12:52:08 PM by bayonetbrant »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #51 on: September 30, 2013, 01:35:38 PM »
Roethlisberger's many accents and the associated jokes amused me greatly this week.

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER : BECAUSE YOU THROW SO MANY BLOODY PICKS, GUV’NAH
BEN ROETHLISBERGER : WE PLAYED IN GERMANY YESTERDAY, WHICH IS WHY I’M USING A GERMAN ACCENT, YOU SEE.
CAM NEWTON : Great Britain, Ben.
BEN ROETHLISBERGER : Thanks Cam. Great Brittin’ to you too.

Also, this :

Quote
JAY CUTLER : What the hell is “Breaking Bad”
CAM NEWTON : The story of a simple man who rises to become world famous at his craft, then loses everything and becomes a wretched husk of a failure.
ELI MANNING : ‘Sup?

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #52 on: September 30, 2013, 06:55:54 PM »
Yeah, Ben's "accents" and the Schaub/Breaking Bad bits were great this week.  :D 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #53 on: October 01, 2013, 05:50:26 AM »
This got me:

Quote
COOPER MANNING Hey, Eli. You know what’s weird? So far this season, you’ve thrown for 1,148 yards more than I have. YET WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF WINS. HAHAHAHA

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #54 on: October 07, 2013, 09:46:56 AM »
The latest installation is up! 

About the only thing that surprises me is Eli not sharing more of the "suck spotlight" with Romo (although Daddy Manning does get in some pretty harsh words). 



My favorite bits from this week: 

Quote
MICHAEL JORDAN'S NIPPLES

We resent that.

Quote
DREW BREES

CUTLER! Please do not interrupt me while I’m not giving a f**k about you.

Quote
TONY ROMO'S DOG

I’m running away to live with Michael Vick.

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #55 on: October 07, 2013, 04:10:25 PM »
Please don't mention Matt Schaub...

Please don't mention Matt Schaub...

Quote
COLIN KAEPERNICK I just assumed it was in honor of “Matt Schaub is a Weak Armed Little Girl” month.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Oh wait. Silly me. EVERY month is “Matt Schaub is a Weak Armed Little Girl” month. HAHAHA

MATT SCHAUB SHUT YOUR HOT WING HOLE, KAPTAIN CHIN-PUBES.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Way to Schitt the bed on national TV, Schaub!

SON OF A...

...but truer words haven't been spoken. Jackass.

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #56 on: October 07, 2013, 05:21:29 PM »
I found this week to be a bit underwhelming...  not bad, but nothing I thought was was laugh-out-loud funny...
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Bison

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #57 on: October 07, 2013, 05:40:40 PM »
Well anytime Romo is mocked it's funny, but I have to agree with Brant that this one was not laugh out loud funny,

Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #58 on: October 14, 2013, 01:49:23 PM »
The new one! http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-the-red-zone/

I thought this was a step up from last week's effort. Creepy Sam Bradford makes what might be his first appearance of the season. Ben Roethlisberger's Gatorade-related habits are discussed. Learn the disturbing truth of what's happening to the Bucs. Oh, and Bob Costas appears.

Quote
BOB COSTAS I’m calling a halftime in this convo so I can deliver another on of my patented BOB COSTAS EDITORIALS!
JOE FLACCO What is it this time? Guns?
AAARON RODGERS Racism?
JAY CUTLER
Unfair working conditions in the Wonka factory?
BEN ROETHLISBERGER BECAUSE BOB COSTAS IS AS SHORT AS AN OOMPA LOOMPA, YOU SEE.
BOB COSTAS No, no, and fuck you.
BOB COSTAS Today, I am here to demand that we NO LONGER use that horribly inappropriate term when speaking about the Washington team.
CAM NEWTON Oh, you're talking about the name "Redskins?"
BOB COSTAS No. The term “Professionals”
BOB COSTAS IT’S AN INSULTING COMPARISON TO TALENTED FOOTBALL PLAYERS EVERYWHERE

Oh, and this :

Quote
ALEX SMITH Keep flapping those gums, ForeheadStein. Next month my Chiefs will embarrass you so bad you'll swear it's one of your epic playoff collapses.
PEYTON MANNING Right, right. Because any team coached by Andy Reid has a right to talk shit about playoff failure.

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #59 on: October 14, 2013, 02:33:52 PM »
I gotta say that I was a little underwhelmed.  Some of it had some moments, but the "Red Zone" schtick fell a little flat for me.

There were also some glaring editing errors.  I'd rather they come out with a good one on Tuesday than a mediocre one on Monday.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers