Author Topic: NFL QB's on Facebook  (Read 37102 times)

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Offline Bison

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #180 on: August 31, 2014, 08:33:26 PM »
I like to reverse bandwagon and jump from rooting for one shitty team to the next.  It keeps my disappointment fresh.

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #181 on: August 31, 2014, 08:44:48 PM »
Come join us Texans fans! We drinketh deeply of tears that collect in the dissapointment vessel of our team's potential.

Offline Bison

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #182 on: August 31, 2014, 08:48:33 PM »
I'm just not sure I'm ready to sink that low yet.

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #183 on: September 03, 2014, 10:10:02 AM »
Hoenstly, the backups are funnier than the last 3-4 convo's with the starters

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-resting-starters/
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Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #184 on: September 03, 2014, 11:44:12 AM »
I don't know if it was any better, but I enjoyed the change of pace.  The "all Steelers quarterbacks throughout history have been dumb" bit was pretty good, as well as Kyle Orton being mocked for signing with the Bills...until he points out he won't have to deal with Jerry Jones.  ;D 



That being said, this part was my favorite: 
Quote
JIMMY GAROPPOLO Say hello to the new SECOND STRINGER in New England. Now, I’m just one Tom Brady STD away from being the Pats starter!

CHASE DANIEL Oh man, I don't envy you Garoppolo.

CHASE DANIEL I hear Bill Belichick requires all his backup quarterbacks to bring snacks to every offensive meeting.

JIMMY GAROPPOLO What kind of snacks? Donuts? Bagels?

CHASE DANIEL Kitten hearts.

T.J. YATES If they're freshly extracted, and still beating, he'll give you an extra 10 reps in practice.

BRUCE GRADKOWSKI BECAUSE BILL BELICHICK DERIVES HIS POWER FROM THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT, YOU SEE.

ROFL!! 

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Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #185 on: September 03, 2014, 11:47:51 AM »
Also... 



Pope Francis Points To Cleveland Browns As Proof That God Exists, And That He Hates Cleveland

Quote

VATICAN CITY, ROME – Speaking to thousands of believers from his balcony at Vatican Square earlier today, Catholic church leader Pope Francis delivered a sermon on the subject of faith versus atheism, during which the Holy Father pointed to the NFL’s Cleveland Browns as, “indisputable evidence that God our Father not only exists, but that he also clearly hates the American city of Cleveland,” according to several witnesses at the scene.

“My children, in today’s secular world, we often hear of those who have lost their way, those who question the very existence of our Creator in Heaven,” said the 77-year old Pontiff. “But today I say unto you: look no further than the wretched Browns of Cleveland for undeniable proof that the Lord truly does exist, and that He, for whatever blessed reason, utterly despises the Browns and their entire metropolitan region.”

His Holiness then continued, “I mean, come on. They’re 77-163 since they returned to the NFL in 1999. Do you know how hard it is to be that consistently bad? And now they’ve lost their only good wideout for the entire season? Not to mention this whole “Manziel” sideshow they now have to deal with for the next decade? Brothers and sisters, there can be no other worldly explanation for such a history of total failure other than a vengeful, angry God.”

Added the Holy Father: “Checkmate, atheists.”

Disbelievers worldwide, however, rejected the Pope’s reasoning.

“We’ve heard all of these ‘Browns versus Evolution’ arguments before,” said David Silverman, president of American Atheists. “Religious folks like Pope Francis would have us believe that an all-seeing, all-knowing, Cleveland-hating deity is the only logical explanation for an NFL team to be as cursed as the Browns. But a basic understanding of scientific principles illustrates that the Browns were not simply created awful. No, they evolved, slowly over time, into their current pathetic state, via years of terrible coaching, drafting and salary cap management.”

“I just don’t understand heathen thinking like that,” said devout Christian Sheila Carmichael, 63, of central Pittsburgh. “I know God exists. I see Him everyday in the simple beauty of a rainbow, in the joy of my grandson’s smile, and in the pleasure I get \ watching the Browns fail in new and hilarious ways, year after year after year. I don’t need proof to have faith in my Lord. Cleveland’s eternal sadness is all the proof I’ll ever need.”

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #186 on: September 10, 2014, 10:06:28 AM »
"Kickoff"



Hardly the best bit, but this part did garner my first laugh:
Quote
PEYTON MANNING HAHA ANDREW LUCK! I POUNDED YOU LIKE A KARDASHIAN!

PHILIP RIVERS On a pile of money and cocaine?

Yes, I'm a sucker for the easy joke today... 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #187 on: September 10, 2014, 10:56:07 AM »
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JAKE LOCKER   You know who doesn’t feel stupid? ME, AFTER COCKSLAPPING ALEX SMITH AND THE CHIEFS YESTERDAY. BOO-YAH!

ALEX SMITH  Enjoy your piddly little triumph, Locker. That lucky-ass victory is probably 50% of the total wins you’re going to get this season anyway.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER  ALEX SMITH IS USING MATH TO COMICALLY PREDICT THAT THE TITANS WILL ONLY WIN THREE GAMES THIS YEAR.

I LOL'ed
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline GDS_Starfury

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #188 on: September 10, 2014, 12:05:28 PM »
and fuck the patriots.
Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

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Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

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Offline Arctic Blast

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #189 on: September 11, 2014, 01:28:26 PM »
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BEN ROETHLISBERGER SO GO AND BALANCE A BALL ON YOUR NOSE, MAN-SEAL, BECAUSE MY STEELERS DOMINATED YOU!
CARSON PALMER Ben, you understand that Johnny Manziel is not actually a seal, right?
GENO SMITH To be fair, he’s not actually a football player either.

I LOL'd.

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #190 on: September 17, 2014, 02:22:48 PM »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #191 on: September 17, 2014, 02:34:07 PM »
This won't mean nearly as much outside of our site...

Quote
E.J. MANUEL   What happened Tannehill? I thought this was going to be your breakout season?

E.J. MANUEL   Instead your performance was so worthless, that if you were a superhero, you’d be Aquaman,

BEN ROETHLISBERGER   BECAUSE AQUAMAN IS THE MOST WORTHLESS HERO OF ALL.

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #192 on: September 17, 2014, 02:39:10 PM »
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REFS FROM THE CHARGERS GAME   No, we reviewed it. The comment seems totally in bounds to us.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #193 on: September 17, 2014, 03:38:52 PM »
ROMO CONVERSION... LOL  :2funny:

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #194 on: September 17, 2014, 04:07:35 PM »
^  Agreed, the Romo/Drees conversion was damn amusing. 




I also cracked up at this bit: 

Quote
MATT RYAN DALTON, I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE SIDEWAYS!

COLIN KAEPERNICK There’s no way you can fit an entire penis into one single nostril.

SAM BRADFORD Not with that attitude.
:2funny:




This won't mean nearly as much outside of our site...

Quote
E.J. MANUEL   What happened Tannehill? I thought this was going to be your breakout season?

E.J. MANUEL   Instead your performance was so worthless, that if you were a superhero, you’d be Aquaman,

BEN ROETHLISBERGER   BECAUSE AQUAMAN IS THE MOST WORTHLESS HERO OF ALL.



Ha!  Yeah, I got an especially good chuckle out of that as well. 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces