Author Topic: NFL QB's on Facebook  (Read 37078 times)

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Offline Martok

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"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #226 on: November 25, 2014, 12:18:55 PM »
"F-GIVING"


It started strong, but it began to fizzle towards the end.  Still not bad, though. 




Quote
MATT STAFFORD BOOOOOO! That loss knocked us out of first place in the NFC North
#KindOfSurprisedItTookThisLongActually


Quote
AARON RODGERS And now, finally, I have assumed my rightful spot AT THE TOP OF THE DIVISION!

AARON RODGERS THE KING OF THE NORTH! THE KING OF THE NORTH!

ROBB STARK That might not be the safest title to dub yourself.
;D

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #227 on: December 02, 2014, 02:40:56 PM »
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-word-from-our-sponsor-14/


Quote
AARON RODGERS     YOU WISH, BUTT-CHIN. THERE IS NO QB HOTTER THAN ME RIGHT NOW.
AARON RODGERS     In fact, you could say that I’m downright FLAMING!

The NFL family and the Eagles joke is great, too, but it takes so long to set up it's not worth copying here.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 02:48:24 PM by bayonetbrant »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #228 on: December 09, 2014, 07:50:57 AM »
they're baaaa-aaack!

Quote
RYAN FITZPATRICK     Kobe Bryant is the L.A. Laker who doesn’t know how to pass.
WASHINGTON REDSKINS      (immediately signs Kobe Bryant as new QB)

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-fantasy-playoffs/

Quote
CAM NEWTON       DAMMIT, MARK SANCHEZ. I KNEW STARTING YOU IN MY FANTASY PLAYOFFS WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.
TOM BRADY       I think just having Mark Sanchez on your roster is a huge mistake.
JOE FLACCO       Seriously. Who would ever think to themselves, “Boy Mark Sanchez would really upgrade me at QB right now?”
REX RYAN       You’d be surprised.

Quote
AARON RODGERS      hile, that loss to Oakland means that the 49ers’ playoff chances just went tits up like a female poodle in Michael Vick’s house
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #229 on: December 10, 2014, 02:45:41 PM »
 :2funny:



Quote
DREW STANTON HAHA THE 49ers SEASON IS PRETTY MUCH OVER NOW!

JIM HARBAUGH OVER? NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE SAY IT IS.

JIM HARBAUGH WAS IT OVER WHEN THE GERMANS BOMBED PEARL HARBOR?

JIM HARBAUGH Germans?

JOHN BELUSHI Forget it, he’s on a roll.

EVERY PFM READER UNDER 25 Who the hell is John Belushi?

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #230 on: December 10, 2014, 03:54:21 PM »
[nerd] Incorrect movie quotation. The CORRECT quote there near the end is, "Forget it, he's rolling."[/nerd]


Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #231 on: December 16, 2014, 06:18:41 AM »
not bad; not great

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-convo-ful-life/


Quote
MATT RYAN     A moron, a rapist, and a Pittsburgh Steeler walk into a bar. He sits down and says, “Hi I’m Ben may I have a drink please?”
BEN ROETHLISBERGER     I DON’T GET IT.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #232 on: December 16, 2014, 01:59:50 PM »
They could've done without the Manziel/It's a Wonderful Life running gag.  It would've been more entertaining (and not so bloody long) if they'd cut that part out. 



This part did make me "LOL", however: 

Quote
KYLE ORTON Did you really think it was necessary to explain that stupid Twitter joke Stafford?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUDER IN MY LIFE.


 :2funny:

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #233 on: December 23, 2014, 08:45:28 AM »
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-riddle-me-this/

The Andrew Luck (wink) bit was actually a pretty good opening...

Quote
PHILIP RIVERS     I, on the other hand, threw four MAGNIFICENT touchdowns in a win over San Fran that not only has me in line for an AFC Wild Card berth, but also CRUSHED Colin Kaepernick’s postseason dreams.

COLIN KAEPERNICK     JOKE’S ON YOU RIVERS. My 49ers were already eliminated last week, so I couldn’t give two shits.

PHILIP RIVERS      Oh no Kaepernick, not the 49ers, you tiny-sacked turtle felcher. My victory KNOCKED YOUR PRECIOUS DOLPHINS OUT OF PLAYOFF ELIGIBILITY. HAHAHA.

COLIN KAEPERNICK     WHAT?! GODDAMMIT RIVERS, I WILL TEAR YOUR UGLY FACE CLEAN OFF YOUR SKULL AND SCOTCH TAPE IT BACK ON UPSIDE DOWN.


Quote
ALEX SMITH     Marry, fuck, and kill: Andy Dalton, Tom Brady, and Peyton Manning?

PEYTON MANNING     THAT’S A STUPID RIDDLE. WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO MARRY PEYTON GODDAMN MANNING?

RUSSELL WILSON     Well, we refused to put a ring on him last February.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #234 on: December 29, 2014, 05:33:42 AM »
Yeah, Rivers taunting Kaepernick over eliminating the Dolphins was pretty funny. 



Also (with apologies to Gus): 

Quote
TOM BRADY If Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Geno Smith were all to compete in a race, who would win?

DEREK CARR I’ve heard this one before. The answer is Geno Smith, because none of the other three actually exis...

TOM BRADY WRONG. THE ANSWER IS TOM BRADY, BECAUSE FUCK THE JETS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

For me, at least, some jokes just never get old.  ;D 




And while my own quarterback was included in the mocking, I still couldn't help but laugh at this one: 

Quote
ALEX SMITH I’ve spent time around Cam Newton, Teddy Bridgewater, and RGIII, so I can assure you that not all African-American girls talk that way.

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #235 on: December 31, 2014, 12:39:33 PM »
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-da-real-mvp/

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER    LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH, WINNING THIS GAME KIND OF MAKES IT FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS IN DECEMBER!

Quote
RANDALL COBB    Just to be clear, he means that we were playing football. Normal, platonic, completely heterosexual football.

Quote
TONY ROMO    Rivers, your team is obviously trying to get you pregnant since they refuse to provide you with any protection.

Quote
J,J, WATT    This season, I caught 3 TD passes, forced 4 fumbles, had an 80-yard pick-6, AND registered 20.5 sacks!
GENO SMITH     How do you get .5 of a sack?
LANCE ARMSTRONG         Testicular cancer
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #236 on: January 02, 2015, 01:16:31 PM »
I'll not deny I'm continuing to enjoy the Rodgers gay jokes.  ;D 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline MetalDog

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #237 on: January 02, 2015, 04:39:38 PM »
Me, too.  I just hate it for Olivia Munn.  I'd be GLAD to take her off his hands and show her a hetero time ;)
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob

Offline Martok

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #238 on: January 04, 2015, 10:11:01 PM »
I'd be GLAD to take her off his hands and show her a hetero time ;)

 :o :o :o

'Geek!!  We need to do an intervention pronto!!! 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline MetalDog

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Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
« Reply #239 on: January 05, 2015, 05:04:24 AM »
For WHAT?!?!  Wanting to bang Olivia Munn?
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob