Author Topic: Psst...Hey, Martok!  (Read 116904 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline LongBlade

  • Unsanctioned Psyker
  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 27192
  • No Regerts
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #435 on: March 11, 2015, 06:01:04 PM »
Longblade be like



then Martok be like



Well, it looks like if I get Martok I know what his Secret Santa gift is going to be...Heheheheh  >:D

Offline Martok

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 12697
  • All that is gold does not glitter.
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #436 on: March 12, 2015, 04:43:23 AM »
Note to self:  Make sure flame-thrower is fully topped off at Christmas-time...  ;) 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline bayonetbrant

  • Chief Arrogance Mitigator
  • Musketeer
  • *****
  • Posts: 37061
  • Loitering With Intent
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #437 on: March 13, 2015, 08:23:14 AM »
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/563462/Brazilian-wandering-spider-bite-gives-men-four-hour-erection-in-Tesco-bananas

uh...

Quote
A mum was scared stiff after opening a bunch of supermarket bananas and finding rare South American spiders - whose bite can give a man a four hour erection.

Unfortunately, it then also kills him.

Shocked Maria Layton, 43, spotted the creepy crawlies after opening the bag of yellow fruit she bought from Tesco.

She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider - the most deadly in the world.

As soon as she discovered the cocoon they started to hatch so she quickly put them in a sealed container in the freezer and called Tesco customer services.

The species is deadly and its venom can kill a human in just two hours - but can also give male victims a painful four-hour erection.

Its venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.

Mother-of-two Maria went to open the bag for her eldest daughter Siri, six, but noticed there was something funny on the side of one of the bananas.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline LongBlade

  • Unsanctioned Psyker
  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 27192
  • No Regerts
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #438 on: March 13, 2015, 09:24:30 AM »
I think we've discussed that spider before. Maybe at that other place we used to hang, but we've been over it before.

Offline JasonPratt

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 17761
  • Now let us see what the future will bring...
    • The Evangelical Universalist
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #439 on: March 13, 2015, 11:01:22 AM »
In other news, Siri has been around long enough for parents to name their daughters Siri.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline BanzaiCat

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 19334
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #440 on: March 13, 2015, 11:44:47 AM »


Here is a song that sums up my reaction thusly:
(warning: very, very, very NSFW)


« Last Edit: March 13, 2015, 08:22:48 PM by Banzai_Cat »

Offline bayonetbrant

  • Chief Arrogance Mitigator
  • Musketeer
  • *****
  • Posts: 37061
  • Loitering With Intent
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #441 on: March 13, 2015, 11:59:23 AM »
take out the "s" in the "https"
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline bayonetbrant

  • Chief Arrogance Mitigator
  • Musketeer
  • *****
  • Posts: 37061
  • Loitering With Intent
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #442 on: March 13, 2015, 01:31:36 PM »
« Last Edit: March 13, 2015, 01:35:17 PM by bayonetbrant »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Martok

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 12697
  • All that is gold does not glitter.
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #443 on: March 13, 2015, 01:42:45 PM »
^  Ha!  Well-said.  :P 




http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/563462/Brazilian-wandering-spider-bite-gives-men-four-hour-erection-in-Tesco-bananas

uh...

Quote
A mum was scared stiff after opening a bunch of supermarket bananas and finding rare South American spiders - whose bite can give a man a four hour erection.

Unfortunately, it then also kills him.

Shocked Maria Layton, 43, spotted the creepy crawlies after opening the bag of yellow fruit she bought from Tesco.

She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider - the most deadly in the world.

As soon as she discovered the cocoon they started to hatch so she quickly put them in a sealed container in the freezer and called Tesco customer services.

The species is deadly and its venom can kill a human in just two hours - but can also give male victims a painful four-hour erection.

Its venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.

Mother-of-two Maria went to open the bag for her eldest daughter Siri, six, but noticed there was something funny on the side of one of the bananas.

Yeah, I read that story last night.  I seem to recall their was a similar story (also in the UK) around a year ago as well. 

Oh yeah:  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU......  :o  :-\  :knuppel2: 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline BanzaiCat

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 19334
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #444 on: March 17, 2015, 08:55:34 AM »

Offline LongBlade

  • Unsanctioned Psyker
  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 27192
  • No Regerts
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #445 on: March 17, 2015, 09:14:07 AM »
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263

Quote
That's especially true if the black widows are sexed-up cannibal females.

Sounds like a typical weekend at Mirth's.

Quote
Andrade points to the pink sex toys in the experiment room. "We have vibrators, as ways of stimulating the web. This is actually a really good way of creating regular, predictable stimuli. It's hooked up to some electronics, that allow us to trigger it a particular time or particular duration, and we can measure the actual vibrations produced. We've had some pretty funny encounters with personal stimulatory devices."

Sounds like a typical weekend at Star's.

Offline Martok

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 12697
  • All that is gold does not glitter.
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #446 on: March 17, 2015, 01:12:36 PM »
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263




Fucking hell! 
Quote
but most can survive up to six months without eating. "Which is why they're invasive," says Andrade. "They can get stuck in a box and shipped somewhere, and even if it's months later, they can start reproducing immediately."

That will now keep me from sleeping today...  :o :o :o 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline undercovergeek

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 12447
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #447 on: March 17, 2015, 01:37:29 PM »
There's a conspiracy afoot -

Dog walkers always find dead bodies

People who buy bananas always find deadly killer bastards in the fruit

Do not walk dogs or eat bananas - world order restored

And never ever walk dogs eating a banana - only bad things can happen

Offline JasonPratt

  • Arquebusier
  • ***
  • Posts: 17761
  • Now let us see what the future will bring...
    • The Evangelical Universalist
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #448 on: March 17, 2015, 02:52:55 PM »
We don't have many black widows around here -- maybe the fiddlebacks eat them.  :-\

But I've seen at least one outbreak in my life, as a boy, a crazy number of black widows that summer. Some so large the little hourglass mark was distended so it didn't even look like an hourglass anymore.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline bayonetbrant

  • Chief Arrogance Mitigator
  • Musketeer
  • *****
  • Posts: 37061
  • Loitering With Intent
Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #449 on: March 19, 2015, 04:52:14 AM »
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers