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GARPA 16, 4/12/13

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Book Review: Ninja: 1000 Years of the Shadow Warrior, 4/10/13

Review of Bioshock INfinite, 4/7/13

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Civilization V AAR, Part 13, 4/4/13

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GARPA 15, 3/29/13

Civilization V AAR, Part 12, 3/28/13

Wheaton INterview, 3/27/13

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Warlock Multiplayer AAR, 3/21/13

WWII PTO Alternate Histories, 3/20/13

GARPA 14, 3/15/13

Crusader Kings II AAR, part 15, 3/14/13

Civilization V AAR, part 11, 3/7/13

Prezcon Convention Coverage, 3/2/13

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2013, Before It Happens

Jim Zabek and the Staff, 2 January 2013

What's coming in 2013? JimZ and the gang polish up the crystal ball and offer some, uh..."predictions" for 2013.

TEOTWAWKI

They Mayans had their turn and blew it. This year I predict the end of the world panic this year will center around a more obscure culture, the Seram. Their angry goddess Mulua Satene will be predicted to arrive swinging the arm of Hainuwele, who is actually an aspect of Mulua Satene herself. Amid the anthropological confusion and outright scholastic warfare between armies of PhD candidates Mulua Satene herself, it will be said, will arrive and wreak havoc on both the academically confused and the skeptical who failed to heed the warnings of her arrival.

 

Gaming

Closer to home 2012 saw a virtual embarrassment of riches in First World War games. Excellent they were, and many was the wargamer who cried with joy at the release of the shamefully uncovered era of PC wargaming. 2013 promises to bring more joy to wargamers, with the year ushering in a focus on yet another undercovered era in wargaming, the Salt War. No, not the Salt War of Perugia in 1540. Nor the San Elizario Salt War of El Paso. This is the more infamous Salt War of 1611, which involved the whole enchilada: a Pope, the esteemed Wittelsbach and Habsburg families, armies marching across Bavaria, a Princebishopric, and last, but not least, salt. If that’s not a winning recipe for a wargame I don’t know what is.

Wizards of the Coast hasn’t been happy with its D&D franchise since they learned that World of Warcraft was an RPG with 15 million subscribers willing to pay a monthly fee to game on. D&D 4.0 was constructed to play as close to an MMO as it could possible. In 2013 I predict D&D 5.0 will be released and the trend will continue: Pathfinder sales will skyrocket.
Men got bombarded with “He went to Jared” ads this year telling them what women wanted for the holidays. Next year women will be bombarded with TV advertising helping them to understand what real men really want: wargames. “She went to GMT,” will be the rallying call for the other half this year.

 

Technology

Who can forget their first memory of getting déjà, déjà, déjà, déjà vu while waiting in line for the next version of their iPhone? 2013 is going to be even more awesome with the iPhone 6 putting the headphone jack on the side! Millions more will be sold as users clamor to upgrade to this latest hipster trend.
Spoofs are as old as the media, but 2012 saw some rather awesome pranks that may prove to be difficult to match. Remember how news organizations fell for the Duffelblog’s article about the US Army exchanging bayonets for tomahawks? And who can forget the 52 page spread the Chinese Communist Party’s official newspaper published upon hearing the news that Kim Jong Un was named “sexiest leader” by the Onion? Well, 2013 should prove to be fun indeed. I predict Hugo Chavez will declare his nation will be ruled henceforth by Sharia law after his Facebook page is liked by the ruling Iranian Ayatollahs.

The fun with technology won’t stop there. Last year we saw the advent of the Wii U. Given the penchat for wacky Japanese (ahem) grown up movies, 2013 is going to see the release of the Wii U Pee. Further years will see additional expansions of the franchise, but you’ll have to use your imagination to fill in the blanks as we’re trying to be a family show here.

OK, maybe not, but when you’re finished laughing let’s look at the next technological development…

One of the quietest developments to go mainstream in 2012 was the 3D television. If you bought a TV last year, chances are good that it included some kind of 3D dealio, and chances are after buying it, you found you didn’t give a rip. 2013 promises to be a crackerjack year for TVs as they will be further blended into console gaming. This next generation will include not only groovy 3D graphics, but an interactive upgrade. Players will be able to clip on electric terminals to from their wireless controller. When playing FPS games, instead of just getting a mild buzz for feedback, 2013’s games will give you an electroshock when you’re hit, fall off a cliff, or otherwise do something bad. All of this will be marketed toward positive reinforcement to reward good play and discourage poor play. In no time every gamer will be scoring as the #1 player on their team. It’s going to be great.

 

Health

Dietary advice has yo-yo’d through the years. Eggs are bad. Then they’re good. It’s the fat that cook eggs that is bad. Then some fats are bad, but others are good. Coffee is bad, then it’s full of antioxidants. Fish is good, then it’s full of mercury so it’s bad. Then it’s sorta good if you only eat some. Confusion may about with regard to dietary recommendations and this year I predict one thing: the confusion and reversals will continue. 2013 is going to see a reversal of a treat that has long been maligned and is due for rehabilitation: bacon. Bacon will be officially declared a health food due to its low carbon footprint (farm-raised) and being a renewable energy source (nothing gets people out of bed faster than the smell of it cooking). When the rejoicing is done, let’s move on.

 

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