Bavarian Foods That'll Kick Your Ass

Started by bayonetbrant, May 11, 2012, 08:26:12 AM

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bayonetbrant

It reads like a column that shoud've appeared as a "Top X" list on Cracked.com, only better, because it's talking about AWESOME food

http://www.everywhereist.com/7-badass-bavarian-foods-you-must-try/

Excerpts
Quote from: Everywhereist
Do you want to eat Bavarian food? OF COURSE YOU DO. It is rich and doughy and filling and is the only thing on the planet that can soak up German beer. Every other fare will simply hide in the corner of your stomach, petrified at the sheer awesomeness of the brew that resides in there with it, and it will never get digested.

Quote from: EverywhereistDon't ignore the dumpling. It will help you to soak up the delicious pork juice that has filled the bottom of your plate. It is nectar of the gods. Drink it, and you will LIVE FOREVER. Probably.

Quote from: EverywhereistGermans can schnitzel the hell out of anything. First, they take a slab of meat and hammer it flat.
That's right: they are so damn badass, they beat their food after it's dead.

Quote from: EverywhereistYou know who are badasses? Pirates. Pirates are totally badass.
But even pirates can't stand up to scurvy. You know what can? Sauerkraut.
WHICH MEANS SAUERKRAUT > PIRATES.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Centurion40

Any time is a good time for pie.

Barthheart


LongBlade

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Staggerwing

Ha!

QuoteThe next time you have mac n' cheese, you may find yourself screaming at how pathetic they are in compared to spaetzle.

"NEIN!" you will holler at the top of your lungs. "Ich möchte Spätzle!" (Which in and of itself will be amazing, because you didn't realize you spoke German. THANK YOU, PRETZEL.)

And everyone who hears you will run in fear, taking their weakling noodles with them.
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

bayonetbrant

pretty sure I'm fixing something off of that list on Sunday night now.

can't do tonight - being invaded by Bayonet Jr's soccer team after their game.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Windigo

My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

LongBlade

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Centurion40

Any time is a good time for pie.

Grimnirsson

Yep, we Germans have some good food here to accompany the great beer  8)

But of all the mentioned good stuff I don't like Schweinshaxe, I don't even know how it tastes, I can't bring myself to eat it - I simply can't  ;)
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bayonetbrant

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers