Feedback on review of Falling Skies

Started by bayonetbrant, November 14, 2014, 06:52:04 AM

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bayonetbrant

Migsy's review of Falling Skies is up today.  Your thoughts below!
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

BanzaiCat

Good review. Indeed, it looks just like Enemy Unknown.

I caught a few errors - feel free to implement or completely ignore me on these. :)


In the first paragraph, note that "Massachusetts" is half italicized. Was it supposed to be fully italicized? I'd say it doesn't need italics at all.

Second paragraph: looks like there's a space in "adventures" between the 'e' and the 's' at the end.

First bullet point under second paragraph: "fair" should be "fare." ("How will Falling Skies fare...") Also, this first bullet point should have punctuation as the second bullet point has punctuation (place a question mark at the end of the first bullet point, as the author is asking a question).

First paragraph under "The Mechanics" - why is the Oxford comma not used? ("...food, metal and medical supplies" should be "...food, metal, and medical supplies" - at least with that mechanism in place, unless you guys do the dirty APA/UK style of reporting.) This is throughout, but I understand it is a stylistic thing and not everyone believes in the Oxford Comma (blasphemy!).  :)

Under "Getting Tactical," '4 to 6' should technically be 'four to six.' Always spell out numbers under 10 and numbers 10 or higher get the number treatment, unless starting a paragraph (never start a paragraph with a number under 10). That's just the dirty technical writer in me talking.

Second paragraph under "The Sky Is Falling," 'attack' should be plural.


MIGMaster

Awesome - I told ya he'd catch 'em all Brant !  ;)

Shelldrake

Nice review Migs. I wondered about this game...now I know to pass on it.  O0
"Just because something is beyond your comprehension doesn't mean it is scientific."

Dean Edell

Staggerwing

Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

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I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
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bayonetbrant

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Boggit

The most shocking fact about war is that its victims and its instruments are individual human beings, and that these individual beings are condemned by the monstrous conventions of politics to murder or be murdered in quarrels not their own. Aldous Huxley

Foul Temptress! (Mirth replying to Gus) ;)

On a good day, our legislature has the prestige of a drunk urinating on a wall at 4am and getting most of it on his shoe. On a good day  ::) Steelgrave

It's kind of silly to investigate whether or not a Clinton is lying. That's sort of like investigating why the sky is blue. Banzai_Cat

MIGMaster