So I was inspired today to start a discussion and maybe even share war stories about meeting new people for the first time.
I've noticed that usually when one joins a new club, school, organization, what have you, that the people always seem welcoming and friendly. As time passes, new friendships may be made but limited only to that environment. Later it is possible to build a long lasting friendship that expands into the personal life, not limited to just the environment you joined.
But this is usually a rare case. Most of the time those welcoming faces turn out to be utter fakes and phonies. Just saying hi because they were told to be nice to the new people. I've seen a lot of people be very friendly in the beginning but something gives them away right off the bat as being sus.
This is not limited to social gatherings but also to places of employment.
Putting my thoughts into writing has never been my thang but I hope you understand enough of what I'm saying to continue this discussion. Has anyone else experienced this type of oddity when meeting new people?
I am the most genuine mofo I know. I have always presented the same face to everyone. It makes life so much easier.
Quote from: Gusington on March 10, 2023, 05:00:19 PMI am the most genuine mofo I know. I have always presented the same face to everyone. It makes life so much easier.
Now that is a good philosophy. There should be more Gus's out there and I bet the world would be a better place!
^I agree. Sadly not everyone does. But what do they know.
More Gus'? We can't handle the one we have now. :shocked: I know what you're saying W8, people often put on a, 'Social' face at first meeting then later the more genuine personality comes out. Pretty normal Human Behavior. Usually people who are less than comfortable with your presence will have a tell, like avoiding eye contact or a akward smile the whole time you're around, or the one I get a lot of, Looking around for someone to come rescue them from me. It's best to give anyone you meet the first time a second or third try to see if they seem to be genuine or not.
My normal behavior usually gets me reported to the authorities or at least tossed out of the Waffle House at 2am.
^That's a shame but better than my record. The one time The Wife and I attempted to eat at a Waffle House we were denied entry! I think we were in Georgia or South Carolina.
I think it varies a lot by region, by culture, and even by community types. More intimate communities--like churches in general and proselytizing churches in particular--seem to honor that welcoming tradition throughout. Less intimate communities--like sports leagues, for example--grow old faster.
Different cultures have very different ways of expressing the same thing. I think the real problem comes when you mistake one form of behavior for meaning something else. Learning how to code switch is critical to avoiding misunderstandings, which is where most of the unpleasantness comes from.
Some cultures put an emphasis on seeming nice, while others put an emphasis on being direct. New Yorkers living in NYC are much more transparent in how they feel about me when we first meet, but after we've been friends for a year, I don't think many of either group are likely to help me move. Minnesotans might help me move, but they're even less transparent about their feelings than the Californians (that stoical Nordic thing for the Minnesotans, I guess).
People from more agricultural places (say Oklahoma or Kansas) are more likely to help me move, but they're also more likely to hang onto a grudge against me if I fall into a "wrong" category (e.g., my wife is Asian or I'm the wrong religion or I wear a shirt to volunteer at my kids' elementary school that says "Particle Physics Gives me a Hadron").
cursed by nature i am an introvert with extrovert hobbies - joining a gaming club of essentially introverts who have forced themselves outdoors to play their favourite game can be the worst place to be
at my old wargaming place i was there for 3 years - the guy i went with and the owner were the only 2 to talk to me in those 3 years
as much my fault as theres but it can be a harsh environment - plus nature also decided that as well as wanting to play with others but hating others i should be adorned with a 'fuck you' relaxing face, same at work, same with family - apparently i exude 'get away from me, dont even speak' which is great for a social gathering
the other thing about gaming clubs is if its not the closet serial killers wishing theyd never come, the only other people in attendance are the exact opposite, like labrador puppies 'Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, youre new, what do you play, what do you like, what do you do, do you want to play, do you want to talk about what you play, talk, play, talk, talk, play play play'
'uh huh, i was once like facing down XXXXX with my XXXXX and i had to use the lakhglahgdisq, the sword of ultimate power, OMG OMG can you imagine having that sword, i would take it to work and make people do XXXXXX'
not even the death stare of a thousasnd suns works on these people
It's funny, because while I haven't actively played desktop wargames in a social setting since at least having kids ~15 years ago, there is a combo coffee shop/game store 1/3 mile from my house where I get coffee 4 or 5 times a week.
It's a normal coffee shop most of the time, except when it's filled with folks playing Dominoes, Scrabble, Pathfinder, D&D, or WH40K miniatures battles. The Magic: The Gathering tournament days are nuts.
But the cross-sections of humanity you find are extraordinarily interesting and trigger all sorts of flashbacks to high school and (less common) adult life for me. In the past, I always wondered, "Is it just me and my particular group that are like this, or is it everybody?" I now know what "everybody" looks like.
The only two generalization I can make with confidence are:
1) Regardless of games, the gamers in my neck of the woods are all Caucasian. Almost without exception, and out of proportion to the larger make-up of my community.
2) Even vaguely attractive girls and women get tons of attention, both wanted and unwanted. Ten years ago, I had a 20-something niece tell me, "If you're not morbidly obese or hideously disfigured, as a woman at a LARPing event, you get lots of overtures of all sorts."
^You're killing me with #2 :ROFL:
What would count as, 'Morbidly Obese'? Asking for a friend.
Quote from: Sir Slash on March 21, 2023, 10:19:11 PMWhat would count as, 'Morbidly Obese'? Asking for a friend.
One more pie and.........
Ass Explosion? Gotcha. :pizza[1]:
Morbibly obese is like porn...I know it when I see it. And neither is me.
Right. I could see somewhat obese, moderately obese, regularly obese, massively obese, or obesely obese, but morbidly is a belly roll too far for me. NOT into stretch marks.
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on March 11, 2023, 09:51:38 PMMy normal behavior usually gets me reported to the authorities or at least tossed out of the Waffle House at 2am.
Their facial recognition software will also block you from entering their other locations too :ThumbsUp: