Your "Dumbest" Moment

[Keunert]

during my studies i was a little low on money. i had to go to the central building for some administration stuff. before the appointment i went to the restroom and found there a packet of asian money. the lesser part of me took it, went to the appointment and out of the building.

standing in front of the main entrance i finally got a moment to think about i was ashamed. luckily i saw an older asian couple standing nearby and i run to them and gave them the money. instead of taking it the guy tried to explain something, i tried to explain something and it got more and more embarassing. finally this asian friendliness got me angry and i forced the money in their hand and walked back into the building.

well... there i saw a young asian exchange student and i instantly knew that i took the money of this poor guy and did an inverse robin hood and gave it to a an older tourist couple. what a jerk i was.

[Keunert]

afterwards i found out it was yen worth around 400 dollars!!!

two years later i made the final exam. when we git the results we went on a drinking spree. when i stumbled home i passed by a street musician hobo. thankfull for life i decided to empty my pockets and give him what i had with me. it was a lot but i woke him and gave it to him. he was instantly awake and thanked me twice and offered to play some songs. i denied and said i had to sleep. i went two doors down and into my appartment. while changing clothes i realized that the musician took it as a duty to sing for me anyway. so he stood before my windows shouting cumbaya mylords and other such songs half past three in the morning. i didn't knew what to do, i thought telling him to shut up would be extremely unfriendly. i tried to sleep but it took me sometime and i feared that soon all of my neighbourhood would be awake and i had to explain the situation...

[bob48]

I was about 18 or 19 and worked as a metallurigal technician in the lab of steel mill. No computers back then so all the test results were worked out on a slide rule and plotted on to graphpaper and then passed to be typed in the old fashioned way.
We had just had a new lass started who was drop-dead gorgeous and had a terrific figure, and naturally, we all fancied her like mad. One day it was me plotting the graphs whilst the other 2 guys did the testing, and she came through to collect some work for typing, giving me chance to chat her up.

I asked what she was doing for lunch, and she said that she wanted a hot cornish pastie, but had no way of heating it up. I was quick off the mark because we had a bench furnace that we used for heating test samples to do elevated tensile tests, and we often used it to heat up pies and so on, which only took a few seconds.

Thinking I was doing well, she came in at lunch time and I popped her pastie into the furnace and powered up. Unforunately, and purely out of habit, I purged the furnace with inert gas, argon I think, which is what we did to prevent the sample from oxydising. When I opened the furnace, instead of her nice hot dinner, there was just a pyramid of ash.

I think she must have thought it was some sort of joke on my part, and nothing I could do would convince her that I was not a total plonker - she pretty much never spoke to me again - much to the delight of the other guys.

[twitter3]

I was dating this girl in college.  Things were getting serious - as in take me home to meet her parents.  Well, the night before I went out with my roommates and proceeded to get blind, stinking drunk.  I don't remember leaving the bar, but apparently I walked out the door with my hands in my coat pocket.  I hit the curb - misjudged the height and landed face first in the middle of a busy road in the middle of downtown.  Luckily there were no cars driving bye at the time or it could have been a lot worse.  I awoke the next morning with this stinging pain on my face.

Going into the bathroom to check it out, I found a huge road gash on the left side of my face (bloody and painful).  I think my first words were, 'Oh @#$%.'  Needless to say she was pissed and her parents were not to sympathetic to my discomfort.  She didn't stick around much longer after that. 

[son_of_montfort]

Mine was more socially awkward than funny...

I used to work at a drug store/soda fountain when I was in high school. I was at the register one day, when this woman walks up with this package of things that look like Q-tips but on the end they have a larger pink sponge. The package says "Disposable Travel Toothbrushes with Pre-applied Toothpaste." So I look up with a big goofy grin and say, "Wow, I've never heard of these! I bet these are useful, I'm always wanting to brush my teeth after a meal out, but don't want to carry my toothbrush and toothpaste!" She gives me this stone cold look and says:

"We use these to brush the teeth of terminal patients."

I also have the story of the girl whose test I got a nosebleed on, only to find out years later she had a huge crush on me that surpassed even that flub-up (and me, oblivious, watched as she dated this total jerk who abused her). Or the girl who was dating this football dude literally placed my hands on her chest as an advance but me, confused and afraid of the football dude, chickened out.

[Gusington]

^We'll need you to elaborate on the tittie thing.

[son_of_montfort]

^We'll need you to elaborate on the tittie thing.

It's pretty clear. Watching a movie with this girl who I held really like for about 2-3 years (younger sister of my best-friend's GF). I believe we were watching The Craft, you know the one with Faruza Balk and Neve Campbell as witches, laying on the couch. She grabs my hands - places them without a word - and keeps on watching. I'm sure I "responded" physically but I didn't act. Later, I'm confused, frustrated, and kicking myself. In retrospect, sort of like your story, I think this falls into the Garth Brooks, "Sometimes I Thank God, For Unanswered Prayers," department. She seems relatively normal today, but her extended family is fairly insane and the breakup between my friend and her sister was like a nuclear explosion.

[Gusington]

How do her boobies look presently?

[son_of_montfort]

How do her boobies look presently?

LOL, I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her, except via limited FB pics, in years.

[Gusington]

^Well there's your new mission, if you choose to accept it.

[bayonetbrant]

does dedicating the same song to 2 different girls (who later compared notes) count?

[Gusington]

^That counts in your running for GrogHeads' Most Pimpin'.

[Windigo]

... surely it was the time 7 years into a bad marriage when I sadly (patheticly) realized what one of my best friends meant when he called me "pussy-whipped"

.... or maybe it was after ex #2 sent my glasses flying off my face for the 3rd time in as many days 2 years into our *cough* relationship

... or hell it could have been me signing a 1300 dollar a month payment plan for 42 months to convince my ex not to move back to Nova Scotia with my daughter

Those gentlemen ...  are true dumb fuck moments ...

Hell now I can get laid now faster by more women than I can get a car loan

[mirth]

^Point well made, Windi. I also I have quite a few dumb moments related to an ex. The biggest was becoming involved with her at all. Unfortunately that moment ended up lasting 10 years!

[Gusington]

A 10 year moment is a long damned time.