Pool of Radiance AAR: A GrogHeads™ Experience

[mirth]

I'll take that leather armor ;)

[KyzBP]

Bahhh!!!   I laughed all the way through that one.  I'm sure glad I can't carry a "Long Sword".

[BanzaiCat]

Entry 17:
Still in Kovel Mansion.



Moving in 'Search' mode means we'll reveal hidden things like secret doors, stashes, or perhaps traps. It seems that we're finding traps about 40% of the time, with the other 60% resulting in slicey things trying to get us to involuntarily donate blood. Our rooting around finally reveals some notes lying on the floor. Seems kind of odd to be leaving notes just lying around, but who am I to question this?

Our 'Journal Entry 38' now reads as follows:

Several pieces of paper with highly organized writing.
Fact: Werner von Urslingen is a retired mercenary captain turned business man.
Strong Rumor: mostly interested in the military aspects of the reconquest of Phlan.
Rumor: fought in a mercenary unit hired by The Boss early in his career.
Rumor: hates Zhentarin because he fought in a unit against them several times.
Rumor: has strong contacts with other mercenaries and some ruffians in town; none of our informants confirm such contact.
Vague Rumor: Von Urslingen's unit was wiped out by enemy magic users; he was the only survivor; he retired and now secretly hates magic users.

Sounds vaguely like we have another bad guy protagonist to worry about in the near future.

And, our 'Journal Entry 51' now reads thusly:

Several pieces of paper with highly organized writing.
Fact: Bishop Braccio is the highest ranking religious leader in Phlan. Runs small temple in civilized section of the city.
Vague Rumor: Braccio is actually a front-man for a powerful high priest who never leaves the small temple.
Strong Rumor: Braccio is under fire to "do something" about the undead problem. So long as the undead were causing the monsters more trouble than the settlers, he had other, more pressing, problems.
Rumor: Braccio is opposed to the temple tendency to sell clerical "miracles;" but he understands that the temple needs funds. Braccio would rather perform such "miracles" in exchange for good works done in the name of the church, not just for money or items of power.

Interesting, though nothing really affecting our party or our quests. We move on.



Okay, I've had enough of this guy and his "you might be a redneck" jokes and failed ambushing. You see, I let him go several times, but the last couple of times he's jumped out he managed to hit us a few times...twice now, in fact. I'm done with him. We attack.



MIRTH drops the hammer and down he goes.



Hay guise, we're that much closer to that Fireball spell!  ::)



These traps are highly annoying...they don't do a lot of damage but sometimes they take a good chunk out (upwards of 6 points of damage). Fortunately none seemed to be poisoned, so that's at least a thing.

But, these little 'tinks' against us are starting to pile up. I figure there's another large group and/or a Guild Master to kill in order to clear this block for good, and all the wandering around is starting to pile the hurt on.

Also, it's made even worse because I can't NOT touch, open, or investigate stuff.



...well, duh, of COURSE we examined it. And of COURSE it was trapped, as is every other lovin' thing in this place.



Owwie!  :o More tinkin'.

But the rewards are rather worth it.



Mostly its gems and jewelry, with some gold and silver mixed in on occasion. I'd rather have the precious stones because coins in THIS game are blasted heavy.



More traps. GUSINATOR gets the brunt of this one. Must have been a Bouncing Betty net trap of some sort, because I can't imagine any net falling from the ceiling and hitting His Shortness first!



Yay, more fun things to open and hurt us!



Called it.

Okay, by this point our HPs are down significantly (our frikkin' cleric is especially down), so I decide to head back to Phlan. As I said, we cannot rest in Kovel Mansion at all...we get ambushed immediately. I've already burned through all of our Cure Light Wound spells and for whatever final confrontation we have, I'd prefer us to all be rested and fully healed.

So we bravely ran away!



We head back, go right to an Inn, and heal up. Cure Light Wound spells and lots of damage means it takes about five rounds of resting and casting before we're all back up to full health.



We head immediately back to Kovel Mansion and begin our wanderings again. We find another trapped loot pile hidden in the corner of one room.



I imagine some of these are magic items, but won't know until we get back to town.

One really easy way of telling if an item is magical is to try to sell it. If the shopkeep offers you 250 gold for a dagger, you know it's got some magical properties, because those things go for 1 gold normally.



Great, it's Heckle and Jeckle again!

We give chase...again. Guess what's going to happen when we catch one of these bastards? Heh-heh...

When we get to the point where they pair off, though, I take the southerly route this time.



Why...attack, of course!



And once again, more male strippers flood into the room and "It's Raining Men" starts pounding our senses as each of these thieves belts out the tune through their microphones-o-death.



At first, I choose not to cast spells, because we handled them so well before. And in the first two rounds, all six of my characters score exactly ONE hit. Total. One hit. My veritable front-line fighters MISS these little leather pant-wearing tools, while they're dealing out some damage themselves. MIRTH, for one, is starting to feel the blows (snicker) as they all seem to want to gang up (guffaw) on him.



More of our failed attacks and them landing more blows makes me finally break out the Bill Cosby (aka Sleep) spells, knocking them out and letting us do what we will to them.



Finally, we start clearing them out.



And then the sneaky little gits start breaking and running. Of course, when you're surrounded by enemies and you turn to run in this game, it gives you free shots at their backs. Even our Cleric gets in a good hit.

Soon, only one is left, cowering in a corner, shakily trying to redo the chorus to his song. BARTHHEART runs up to him, deftly avoids his 'Guarding' attack, and dispatches him.

And...that's it. No revelation, no change, no announcement, nothing. So we don't have a clue if we've managed to clear the place out yet. My thought is this was just another large group of idiots and more are to come.

Without more of a choice, we continue wandering around, and enter a room where a group of young strippers are beating up an old man. Very, very not cool, so we attack.



One thing you won't find in my tactics book is "attack fully armored and armed enemies when bare-chested and wearing leather chaps." Maybe that's in Gus' repertoire, though. A few spells and they go down quickly.



So...guess they beat him up because he'd had enough of this 'The Boss' character? Or because he was old? He'd just randomly shove papers into someone's hands? I guess he doesn't care because he's dying.

Plot line, move forward!



Journal Entry 48 reads thusly:

Several pieces of paper with highly organized writing.
Strong Rumor: The Boss is a dragon or is a human that can take the form of a dragon.
Vague Rumor: The Boss is a metallic dragon. Not considered likely as metallic dragons are "good."
Fact: The Boss holds audiences in Valjevo Castle. Castle is guarded by groups of big stupid monsters, with occasional smart human leaders.
Rumor: The Boss doesn't spend full time at Valjevo Castle.
Fact: maze inside castle wall; passwords are needed to get past castle gates.
Rumor: The Boss has been sending out messengers to the tribes of monsters in the area to recruit new units.
Vague Rumor: The Boss is recruiting new units in preparation for an assault to retake the civilized sections of Phlan.

Oh, great. A dragon leading an army of 'big stupid monsters,' to retake Phlan.

What did we get ourselves into?

A little more searching, cabinet-opening, and trap-eating later, and I decide to test a theory. We've wandered around for a while now, possibly days in Search mode (because each move eats 10 minutes of time, where normal moves only take 1 minute of time), and found nothing. No leaders, no Guild Master, no nothing.

I encamp, and decide to try to rest and see what happens.



Absolutely nothing happens, that's what.

So we must have inadvertently cleared the area, because not only can we rest and heal uninterrupted, we're not getting any more rando attacks from redneck comedy gurus. Nor anything else for that matter.



So we head back to the boat and Phlan, and visit the city clerk, whom confirms we indeed cleared the Mansion and are rewarded for our efforts.



It's not a lot of rich stuff, but we accumulated a lot of precious stones in the Mansion, so that's okay...this is just icing on the cake, really.

We move over to the Training Hall, and KYZBP is leveled up to 5th level Cleric, while MIRTH gets to become a 3rd level Magic-User. The others don't have enough experience to advance, yet.

More coming soon, as soon as I figure out where we'll be headed next. I'm leaning towards the library.

[Sir Slash]

Damn lady. Don't get excited or anything. Just sit there with your eyes half closed.

[JasonPratt]

I saw what you did with your plethora of pinatas!

(Not a euphamism.)

(I hope.)

[Sir Slash]

Apparently the thieves never thought to steal any shirts. 

[JasonPratt]

If the Boss really is a dragon (I can't recall), and he dresses like his thief flunkies, he'll be a Draco In Leather Pants.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DracoInLeatherPants

[BanzaiCat]

Entry 18-A:
Half-Life Books

After getting the boys back in town and upping some levels in good ol' Phlan, I decided to head over to Mendor's Library. I know there's a really nasty creature in there, from previous experience, and he's a b*tch of a bad guy to bring down...at least, for lower-level parties. I remember going round and round with that jackass back in my Apple IIc days. More in a bit on that.

To get to Mendor's Library, one has to trudge their party from Phlan and go west through the Slums to Kuto's Well, and south to the Library itself.



STILL with the stinkeye, guys? Really?



And STILL with the locked doors in the Slums?  ::)



Oh, come on. STILL with the Kobold "ambushes?" This one happened in Kuto's Well. Apparently I never really properly cleared it. If I remember right, you have to defeat a certain number of random encounters (I think it's 10) without leaving the area to 'clear' it.

Well...maybe I'll do that later. It's sort of like stomping on a bucket full of roaches while wearing Fallout power armor, but whatever. These guys are ASKING for it.

Pardon us, dear intruders...


Awww, what is it NOW?!?

...we are from the Society Of Mentally Exhausted Animals Seeking Salvation Honorably Over Low Evilness Strategy.

Uhh...

Yeah, the Big Guys like their acronyms.

What? WHAT?!? We're quite busy, you know. We have loads of hero stuff to do. We don't have time for you.

We know, we know...

I mean, you're what, worth 0.0000025 XP each?

(sigh) So is our lot in life, guv'nah...

Golly! This would be quite the mess to clean up afterwards! There's, like, fifty of them!

Hardly even worth the effort, ain't they?

Wewll, a liver's a liver.


Please kill us with great haste, sirs!

No. Now go away.

Oh, PLEASEEEEEEE...!

They did say 'please,' mate.

But...but...aren't we of Good alignment? Wouldn't the wholesale slaughter of weak and defenseless creatures indicate a slide to the depths of...

Wha's yer point, pooftah?

Alright, alright...FINE. But we're just going to stand here and hold our weapons up. You'll have to throw yourselves on them.

Yaaayy! Sweet release!



So this pack of idiocy charges us. Guess what the results are?

Yeah...pretty much that.



After killing these suicidal lemmings near Kuto's Well in the middle of...uh...Kuto's Well, we head south towards the Library.

But a quiet traipse through the blood-soaked ruins of our enemies just wasn't meant to be.

Exccuuussth usssth, gooodth thirrrrrsth...

By the GODS...

We reprethent the Barely Over Old Thor Lizards In Constant Keeping Every Raptor Savior. Have youth accthepthted Rapthor Jethus asth your perthonal Lorthth and Thavior-

DIE

Some Gnolls and Lizardmen deigned to attack us. US.



We sent them to their "Rapthor Jethus," whomever thath...uh...that is.

It didn't take long. Whereas the Gnolls gave us a hard time when we were clearing the last of the Slums, here, they fall like chaff before our weapons. I think we might have broken a sweat, though. We'll have to consult the armorer next time we're in Phlan. Can't have unsightly underarm wet spots.



We finally arrive outside of Mendor's Library. A solid wall greets us.



We trudge around its entire length...and find an entrance on the far south side.



No encounters are had. At least, not yet.

We proceeded inside...



So, the resident nerds haven't been here in years, apparently. I can only assume these rotted works are fanfics involving Neo-Otyugh tentacle rape porn or possible Percy Jackson sequels. We honestly don't know which would be worse.

And then there's this guy, whom we found cowering in a corner.



Feeling charitable (i.e., of "Good" alignment), we didn't kill him despite his overt mouth attacks.

We just kind of let him do his own thing. Somehow, the six of us (seven I guess, if you HAVE to include Dirten the Self-Casting) looming over him doesn't give us a great sense of threat.



Just as well. Scamper away, little buttercup. Leave the men (and MIRTH) to the real mission at hand!

[Sir Slash]

Yaaaahhhh. For the Good Guys. "Evil round every corner. Careful not to step in any".

[BanzaiCat]

Entry 18-B:
Turn The Page

Leaving ol' Cock-A-Doodle-Dizzy behind, we head deeper into the Library.



Some might call this junk, but me, I call it treasure...



Well! Digging through trash for hours on end in a large room, and you find...a book!

I mean, what are the odds? IN A LIBRARY?!?



Wow...huh. Well, okay; 685 XP each isn't too bad a deal for one lousy book. I guess this is kind of like going to Half-Price Books and rooting around for hours finding the same old crap before suddenly stumbling upon a hidden gem.

And, oh yeah. There's the noisy, bratty kids running around that don't get disciplined by their stupid parents, too.



In other words, Kobolds.

And apparently giving us the universal D&D signal for "please kill us, we're easy XP!"

THAT didn't take long.



Must not be a ruse. They're actually begging for mercy.

This ought to be rich. We let them speak their piece.



Hmmm...spare their lives, learn everything about the area, which might be all little furry Kobold lies wrapped in half-truths and baked over an open flame burned from the bones of stupid 1st-level adventurers...well, at least we're not 1st level anymore!

Why not? "You may...live."

(We push the boundaries of Good, admittedly...)



OH BOY! STORY TIME!

A crude map scratched onto an old piece of parchment.



"Bad Things," eh? Considering it was a frigging KOBOLD that told us about this, it could just be a low-slung coffee table that would give us an owie if we bumped into it, but would deliver them into negative hit points.

Still, a deal is a deal, so we let them go traipse off to get killed by some 0th-level farmers. Such is their lot in life, as they said.

Finally, we find an honest-to-goodness room that makes this place worthy of the name "Library."

(The fact that "Mendor's" comes first doesn't stop us from looking to pilfer a few things.)



Oh, lovely. Treatises that go into great detail as to why dragons fall in love or Orcs shit in the woods. I can't imagine a more exciting section of the Library to start with.



You can say THAT again, bruddah!



A tightly bound scroll, seemingly immune to the ravages of time.

"Fountains and pools hold great power that can only be reached by performing proper ceremonies. Most sure of these is immersion, for in this way the bather surrenders himself to the spirit of the water. That spirit, or some portion of it, enters into the bather, whereby he gains great powers. Woe to the weak willed whose spirits are sure to be consumed by spirits that put even the strong at great risk. Yurax holds that the Falls of Ixce are greatest of all these. Morden writes that the Pool of Radiance is greater still."

Later in the book.

"Places of magical power are not necessarily tied to one physical location. Power often moves from plane to plane along the path of least resistance. The termination of the path determines the place's location on this plane. Volatile upheavals between the planes may lead to a change in the path of least resistance. This can change where the path terminates on this plane, thus moving the place of power.

"Some who wield strong supernatural forces can bend the path like an engineer damming a river. When the path is bent, it can terminate in a new location, moving the place of power on this plane. If the supernatural force that bent the path is removed, the path will snap back to its original form and the place of power will return to its original location. Such disruption can have violent and unpredictable results.

"Thus, inter-planar upheavals and directed supernatural forces may hold the answer to the seemingly ever-changing location of places of power, such as the Pool of Radiance."

ZZZZZZZZZZ

Oi'm jus' lookin' fer the section on Anatomy 'ere, mate...

Moving on...we find the next section, History.

Awww...



Well, history at least holds SOME interest. Hopefully we'll find something useful in here.



Okay...or, maybe not!



Royals in the North? HMMMM.

A rugged popular account of the northern lands.

"Ten days ride north of the Varm is a barren and dead country called the Leewai, land-in-pain or land-of-caused-pain. Further to the south this place is known as the Tortured Land. It is said to be an evil place, shunned by the Riders. They speak little of this land. But, yearly, during Ches, they make a trip into its heart. There they go to praise the spirit of a glowing spring. This they have done for ages and so shall they do for years to come."

HMMM. HMMMM.

Okay, whatevs.



Yay! Rhetoric!

FINALLY!

Whatever 'Rhetoric' is...



Ah, well, it has eight legs, a horn, an armored carapace, so it makes total sense it would be in a Library and not being used as a counter to M-1 tanks out in the bloody desert somewhere.

It's a basilisk. Yeah, those turn things into stone.

But it wasn't much of a fight. I recalled some ancient...errm...memories at finding mirrors VERY useful, so we broke them out for this fight. The Basilisk didn't stand much of a chance without its fearsome stony gaze.

Boy, if the secret of this got out, maybe they could put it into a little blue pill? No, that's madness.



Not a bad little haul for murdering the foul beast.

Moving on again...



Oh, JOY!

I was JUST asking myself, "Gee, B_C, what could possibly be more boring than a section on Philosophy?" Well, the gods have answered and provided us with this little bounty.



Well...DUH. I could'a told you THAT.

However, here's a special tidbit for those readers still bothering to read my diatribe: we've actually been collecting books this whole time. Yeah, I know, it's not much of a spoiler, but I didn't bother to take screen captur...errr...I mean, 'magical imagery' of our progress. I've already added more images than I can count in these last two posts and didn't think adding more showing each and every find as being very interesting.

No worries, because pudu's 'bout to get real.



Except it doesn't get real, here.

But in the next room it does...I think.



Oh yeah, it does.







TH-

Wights would find your library a tad breezy this time of year. In that respect, wights are a bit like you and me.

Wait, what? Who are you? Where did you come from?

THIE-

No, I frankly doubt there are any wights in your Library.

Whillakers, mister! I think that ghostie thing right over there would disagree!

...

...

...

THIEV-

Typically, this is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasm, or a Class Five full roaming vapor.

Excus...

Real nasty one, too!

I tell you what's nasty...

Pleas...

I stepped in Kobold in the last room...actually, he's probably still at the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is anymore.

Really, you kn...

That's a nice proton pack you got there, bub. What is it, an '83?

Yep! I get to carry around a bunch of untested, extremely dangerous hardware that if not handled correctly could blow me somewhere into New Jersey.

I collect beer bottles myself, I gotta '82 Miller bottle with a misprint on the label; the other 'busters might wanna come take a gander.

I mean, if it's NOT too much troub-

Would anyone object if I tore this floor out?

I WOULD!!!

False alarm then. Lead on.

May I just interject that this is the first time I've been in a forum post in a long whi-

ARRRG TOURISTS DIE



So...yeah, sorry about that. It went on a little longer than I thought it would have any business going.

(I do this stuff by the seat of my pants, obviously.)

The Wight is a major pain in the buttocks. If he hits, he can drain experience levels. EXACTLY what an aspiring party like ours needs, right? I mean, a few well-placed blows, and on our journey back, we MIGHT actually take an HP or (shudder) TWO HP worth of damage from a Kobold!

Fortunately, this Wight is alone, and with the combined power of Captain Planet and Friends (you get to guess which of our faaabulous number is he), the Wight gets blurred into non-existence.



And here, I was relatively worked up, because I remember what a pain this guy was to fight back when I first played this game. Then again, I tried to take him on with 2nd/3rd-level characters, which meant low THAC0 scores and therefore lots of swings and misses.

After the Wight's final reward, the Library is cleared. We'll head back to Phlan now to plan our next move(s).

[Bison]

Sweet.  I thought you'd abandoned this particular AAR project.

[BanzaiCat]

Sweet.  I thought you'd abandoned this particular AAR project.

Yeah, I never intended to abandon this one. I'd really like to get through all the games, not just this one.

[Sir Slash]

Glad to see you gave that Bastard what he deserved. Sum-Bitch took a level or two off me back in the day. And these were 1980's levels-- worth twice what levels are going for today.  O0

[BanzaiCat]

Entry 19:
Where To?

Let's recap the party, because honestly, it's been months since I've looked at them and I forget their levels, exactly:

BANZAI_CAT (Chaotic Good Level 4 Human Fighter) - Broad Sword +1, Banded Mail +2
GUSINATOR (Chaotic Good Level 4 Dwarf Fighter) - Hammer +1, Chain Mail +1
KYZBP (Neutral Good Level 5 Human Cleric) - Mace +2, Chain Mail +1
MIRTH (Chaotic Good Elf - Level 3 Fighter/Level 3 Magic-User) - Scimitar +1, Chain Mail +1
BARTHHEART (Neutral Good Level 5 Human Thief) - Long Sword, Leather Armor +4
BBMIKE (Chaotic Good Level 4 Human Magic-User) - Dagger +1, Bracers AC 6

We wake up in the Inn With No Name And No Furnishings to begin our quest. I decide we need to go check in with the commissions clerk to double check the missions we have to choose from.



A request to stop some nebulous group of squatters from joining with 'The Boss.'



How this is even a mission...I don't get it. They may as well give us a mission to go down to the local pet store and squash puppies. It might have some loot, though. Kobolds be hoarders.



Oh yeah! I remember this one. This might have some challenge to it, so we'll head up the river to find out what's going on.

I'll spare you a bit of detail here. First, I couldn't remember how to get into the Wilderness from the north side of the bay (hint: it's "Leave"), but once I finally figured it out, we ran into Merchants (whom chatted amiably with us before moving on - why they call themselves "Merchants" and have nothing to sell is somewhat of a mystery).



And them, with their jangling carts and bards and such somehow "SURPRISED" us, an elite super-team of D&Dness.  ::)

Still, we had a pleasant conversation before they went off on their way. The merchants didn't share anything useful with us (and failed to live up to their name since there was no option to engage in trade with them).



One step later, though (quite literally, one step) we ran into Stirges, which are basically blood-sucking birds. Looks like our travel upstream is going to be a slog.

They're not hard to beat, but I think they can attach and cause extra damage if they succeed in a hit. I don't know, but it doesn't take them long to surround some of us.



But.

This is where it all turns out to be some kind of weird dream. You see, apparently when taking screenshots, it might mess up DOSBOX if it's processing something. And it did precisely that, here. My main view froze, and somehow left a 'frozen' image over half of my screen display. The game still worked and the commands still functioned, but without being able to actually SEE anything, I had to reload the game from Phlan and start the trek again.

Sigh.



Fortunately this time, we managed to find our way up the river without an encounter. The disgusting, gray tidal flats surrounding the once mighty river smell a little like rotting Ogre feet (or just feet in general, actually), and the river itself is impassable - at least, it is for now.

Not to mention the mysterious pyramid at the headwaters of this river system looking kinda suspicious.



Probably a mad mage or lich or something. Usually, those knuckleheads build some grandiose structure that you can see from miles away, almost as if they're inviting trouble. Once again, we prove that Phlan is full of a bunch of cowering heroes too scared to face their own shadows, let alone squat, dark pyramids bleeding liquid death into the ecosystem, hinting of a vast power lying deep beneath its stones, pulsing with evil and pain.

But hey, there's treasure in there probably. Like they told you when you're a kid...there's treasure in the sewer pipe. Or possibly murderous clowns.

Regardless, when we get to the lake, we find a rowboat conveniently placed on our side of the shore, allowing us access to this lovely monument of mayhem.



We find a hidden door in the side of the pyramid:



Seems legit.

Well, of COURSE we enter. The game isn't really fun if you ignore everything around you.



The entrance hallway stretches out into the distance. The pyramid is rather large, and complex, and it's very easy to get lost within. Back in the day, I would have been using my graph paper to meticulously map out each and every corridor and make copious notes, but in this day and age,



...so we just go head-first to see exactly how lost (or lucky) we can get.

The hallway we're in actually stretches from north to south through the pyramid. The only features off of the hallway are some small alcoves to the right (west) as we head south down this hallway.

We decide to go into the first archway, within which is a small 10'x10' room, and it happens to be a teleporter. We end up somewhere else.



Following the hallway, it turns sharply to the right, and a short distance down we find a secret door just off the hallway.



I save the game before moving the party inside.



Huh. Maybe Starfury was able to finally build his secret sex dungeon?

Guess it's not so secret anymore.



Suuuuuuuuuure.

"Alchemical nature."  ^-^

We go back out into the hallway (a Search of every square in this lubricating pain paradise reveals little other than toys that stretch things that have no business being stretched) and continue on our way.



Okay...?

Well, what we got here is another teleporter, and we get an option to throw a stone into it. So we do precisely that. Because why wouldn't we?



FLASH! AAAA-AAAAAAAAH!

Ahem.

We go ahead and step through it now.



We're transported to another level of this wickedly dense wizard's pyramid. I say it's a wizard's pyramid because...well, would a FIGHTER do something like this? Crazy mazes with teleporters and stones to throw through them like some kind of key or stick shift?

Only those with insane levels of Intelligence and a healthy amount of paranoia do this kind of nonsense.

This is kind of an endless slog. We're going to spare you with the details of moving, dead ends, backtracking, and otherwise exploring.

We find nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Which means this is not only a wizard, it's probably a weak wizard, one with delusions of grandeur.

Think about it. A lich-level mage, or a super-level mage, would have TONS of traps, deadly monsters, and incomprehensibly devious things waiting for intruders along a defined pathway designed specifically to squeeze every last HP and shred of sanity out of any characters invading the place after hearing about it in the Generic Tavern^TM and the DM rolling a 56 on the Rumors Table^TM.

A weak wizard that thinks very highly of themselves probably thinks they're quite clever and able to handle anything that comes at them.

I guess we'll see.

Finally, after lots of teleportation chicanery, we stumble into what appears to be the top level of the structure, because we're faced with a door that demands a password.



I had to bust out the old code wheel to find this answer out. I could find the answer online, I'm sure, but it's not nearly as fun doing a Google search as it is manipulating this wheel of secrets!

When we find the answer, I type in NOKNOK.



WAIT! ...yes? NO. I mean...I don't know! Okay? Sure...?

That must have been right, because the door just sits there, not exploding or turning into a Black Dragon.

We step through the room into a large open space, but it's packed from floor to ceiling with a lot of strangeness.



Ewww. Maybe this is the sewer line for all the disgusting creatures that DON'T live in this pyramid of fuzzy-wuzzies.



Hmmm...

Lots of complicated machinery.

Lots of FRAGILE-looking complicated machinery.

I think a plan is beginning to form.



What other answer is there in D&D, other than "beat it to within an inch of its life?"



Welp...a few good whacks should be all that is needed. We'd better hustle out of here before the place 'splodes...



BOOM

Problem solved.

Exploring the remaining area, there's a teleporter behind a twisty hallway (again, why, with the twisty hallways?!?) and a couple of large rooms. We head to the southernmost room first.



We advance on them. If regular, full-strength Lizardmen armed to the teeth don't present a challenge to our party, these slaves sure won't.



The "GOOD" alignment radar is pinging double time, here.

We choose PARLAY and NICE.



Being good guys, we free the poor saps. They then relate to us a bunch of information.

Told in halting speech.

"Thank you for freeing us. Yarash has been experimenting on our people, changing them in horrible ways. Every night we carry off another lizard man with his chest burst open or his head mangled. Yarash say he make us like Sa-Hag-An. He always say that he make us stronger, better hunters. But all he make us is dead.
"We were not allowed to speak when Yarash was around. These marks were passed down to us and remind us of home. They represent the friend word used between lizard men of different tribes. If you meet lizard men on the outside, this word may help you."

So we get a 'Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free' card of sorts when encountering Lizardmen in the future. Since they're just a step above Kobolds on the Rich XP Kill Scale, and we're Good guys, this is good for them, because our party won't have to commit genocide upon an entire species that doesn't exist except in electrons on computer chips.

But I digress. The final room probably has this Yarash character in it.

We save the game and then enter the final room. Sure enough. Captain Asshat and his mutant friends are in here, hard at work.



So, we brace ourselves for battle!

We ready our weapons, prepare spells, and get into our combat stances, hard-learned over the last many weeks of campaigning and butchering monsters.

And...and...



Uhh...I thought he told his minions to subdue us...hmm.

Advance, I guess...?

SUBDUE THEM.

Uhhh...

...WHAT?

We HAVE to talk about your sense of fashion.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WAY I LOOK?

You got a definite Marlon Brando vibe going there, mate.

More Brando in 'Island of Doctor Moreau' than anything else.

(kkkkuuuuuuusssss) Regret is useless in life. It's in the past. All we have is now.

WHO ARE YOU? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

(kkkkuuuuuuusssss) I just followed these boys in here. Doing a little redecorating. I'm moving in soon.

WHA- NO NO, YOU'RE NOT

(kkkkuuuuuuusssss) It's not personal. It's business.

Yeah, more 'personal' than business for us.

KILL THEM MY SUPER MUTANT NINJA LIZARDMEN

(kkkkuuuuuuusssss) Hey, you wanna hear my philosophy of life? Do it to him before he does it to you.

Excellent advoice, guv'nah. 'Ere, let's see th' color o' yer insides, then...



Since we wisely chose to 'Advance,' Yarash and his super-lizards are right next to us. Especially Yarash. Wizards don't generally do well in melee combat. Had we started combat when they were at a distance, Yarash would no doubt have a chance to get off several spells.



Wow, 27 hitpoints for Yarash? He must be, like, 25th level or something.  ;D

There's not a lot of enemies, here. With Yarash within easy reach, I don't expect a difficult fight.



The "Mutant Liz-Man"s don't have a lot of HP, but their AC is fairly high. Still, not too difficult.



It doesn't take long for Yarash to go down. BBMIKE immediately hit him with a Magic Missile spell, rendering him useless for casting himself this first Round. Meanwhile, shirtless GUSINATOR manages to separate him from his life with a good, solid hit.

The LIZ-MEN are a bit tougher than expected. BANZAI-CAT can't hit the broad side of a barn. I think he missed every single swing.

The LIZ-MEN hit MIRTH, though. A lot. MIRTH collapsed in a useless but tastefully decorative heap.

A Sleep spell from BBMIKE fails, but a couple of Stinking Clouds puts three of the LIZ-MEN out of action. This leaves two LIZ-MEN, whom we manage to put down pretty fast. KYZBP lands several good hits, as does BARTHHEART.



Soon, nobody is left standing. Except the five of us. Because, you know...MIRTH.



The battle was worth a hefty amount of XP.



A little on the miserly side when it comes to coin, though...



...but Yarash himself has some goodies on his body. All of it goes to BBMIKE. I might transfer some over to MIRTH once he wakes up, though we'll have to go back to town to do some identifyin' to see what we have.



Exiting the pyramid, it doesn't take long for the land to become green.

That's good, because it'll serve as certifiable proof to the town clerk of our good deed.

We head home. We'll take stock of our inventory in the next entry.

[BanzaiCat]

Posted all that from something I already had written out late one night and forgot about. 

In any case, here's some more. Thanks to all for reading and commenting.  O0

Entry 20:
Back to Phlan. Movin' On Up.

After defeating Marlon the Mage, we head back to Phlan, eager for our next task. We need to collect our reward from the City, then go see what magic items we may have, rest, fully heal, and memorize spells.

Then, I think we'll be headed for that Kobold camp. I'm in the mood to execute a few hundred sweep attacks against 1-HD monsters.



The clerk still looks like she wants to fall asleep. She is obviously not impressed with our awesomeness. Pfft, typical bureaucrat.



Well, I guess I can overlook this trespass for once...



Another 250 pp (1,250 in gp equivalent) and 15 pieces of jewelry. I wish there was a Bank of Phlan, sort of what one of the other series in this D&D universe did. Wish I could recall the name of it offhand. Not sure if it was the Krynn games or Gateway, or later games in this series. Anyway, on with the show.

This was a nice little haul, but 1,250 gold is barely enough to pay for one character to level up. Although, it's not like we're going to be poor anytime soon, because we have more gaudy jewelry than a low-budget rapper.

And now that the rewardin' is out of the way, time for the beggin' for help.





AGAIN with the hippie commune. Leave them be, let them smoke their plant fibers and beat on their owlbear-skin drums. Next!



Seeing how we're good buddies with the Lizardmen now, this might be a no-brainer of a next mission.



Well now!

And that's that.

Now, we have a few errands to run.



Yeah.  8)



Even GUSINATOR gets in on the action.



Fabulous!



Oh My...



Our resident Thief even rises in the ranks.



And BBMIKE goes up to 5th level.

You know what THAT means?



Heh-heh.

Fireball.

Yeah.

I think we will head off to the Kobolds to stop them from teaming up with The Boss. Stay tuned.