Author Topic: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR  (Read 10670 times)

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Offline undercovergeek

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By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« on: January 28, 2018, 05:04:50 AM »
Lets see what happens here.

The game is set to hard, brutal fights, and we hoping to sweep the Gladitorial Trophy from the hands of Rome, we're skipping the tutorials



This is my ludus - the 3 posh guys down the front represent the magistrate, the military, and the one in the middle is the owner - however much they favour me will influence future fights and the quality of new recruits. Top left is the Doctore tasked with training the guys, epic fighter and ex gladiator himself, centre stage our one and only gladiator - i thought we might have more - if we lose the first fight its all over!



To the market place for some staff. We get an architect who will build things round the place to help improve training and income. A faber who will build us new weapons, upgrade our current ones and fix any broken ones. And a medicus, for you know, the odd cut and scrape



The architect is tasked with building a palus - a stuffed man to practice stabbing and chopping on



The faber starts researching auto upgrade - every now and again he will improve a random piece of kit for a gladiator, the less gladiators the more effective this will be so i'll try and find the balance between too many and not enough gladiators



And the medicus starts studying anti-biotics - the chaps of chopping will heal faster with his new skills



Lets get to training Gus the Small. I have no interest in the actual tappy tappy of controlling the gladiator fights, ill leave the AI to that, and with that in mind the first thing we'll train on is meditate which increases the AI skills of Gus so he can fight without me. Weve been granted a serrated poison blade upgrade to Gus' weapon - it will do sustained damage as the fight continues. We havent researched Murmilla or Retiarius classes yet, which are two handed weapons/2 weapons or the traditional trident and net.



There he goes - meditating



Now i must admit to forgetting to take screenshots of the battle for one major reason. See old skinny, bedraggled Gus there with no equipment, no weapons and no armour - yeah, i forgot to do all that bit. So the invite to the first battle came in against a guy with a wooden stick, full body armour and a helmet - he could dole out 27 damage per hit - Gus, none. The UI wont now let me arm and dress Gus so its off to battle we go for a fight i must win otherwise go out of business, with Gus in a sack, my finger over the restart game button

The fight begins, the enemy steps forward, Gus starts running round the perimiter of the arena aware of his dilemma. The opponent catches up with Gus and starts laying into him with the wooden gladius - taking unreturnable damage Gus heads for the middle of the arena to face his doom................

when someone from the crowd throws him a full on gladius, he gets up and hacks the guy to pieces







Offline Silent Disapproval Robot

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2018, 05:09:43 AM »
Gotcha covered UCG. Hereís the footage.


Offline undercovergeek

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2018, 05:11:55 AM »
 :2funny:

That sir, is exactly what happened!

Offline Crossroads

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2018, 06:41:58 AM »
And the award for the Best AAR Title goes to...  :bd:
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Offline JasonPratt

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2018, 09:20:11 AM »
"Gus" "meditating";
the dev thinks of everything:
that was delightful:DD :notworthy:
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2018, 09:21:19 AM »
"I think I'm having a...cardiac arrest"

 :2funny:

Offline undercovergeek

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2018, 09:49:58 AM »
After our first victory its back to the mundanity of ludus life. The architect finishes the palus so to make sure Gus gets the best of his exercise routine we get him some rocks to carry



The Doctore also has a research tree - ill head straight for Murmillo training - the path isnt as straight as looking here would suggest



Not satisfied with his stabbing dummy and pile of rocks i build Gus a hot coal pit - soon get him running



Starting to dress Gus the Small for his next fight - it wouldnt be right not to be wearing a leather cock sheath, the upgrade for this? A black studded one



Next fight - Placidus, a guy with very low attack stats and massive agility - makes him perfect for the trident and net, therell be lots of rolls and flips to dodge Gus' attacks



Hes a nimble fella, for every swipe of Gus' sword this guy gets 2 or 3 little jabs in with the trident, the good thing is when Gus gets hit he takes about 12 damage, when Placidus gets hit hes taking between 27 and 40



and after a flurry of attacks its all over, Gus - 2 stinky Roman peasants - 0



These 2 are the guys that organise the fights. They are constantly grumpy with you, the problem being the grumpier they get, the more badass your opponent is as they try to kill you off and shut down the ludus



and



we're ok at the moment but refused fights or other actions really annoy them

Like this - a pretty much like for like fight i think Gus would have one, except i didnt heal him from the last one so now he only has half the hitpoints - we'll have to skip which will only serve to annoy the Magistrate




Offline JasonPratt

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Gus the Small AAR
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2018, 02:56:20 PM »
Why is Gus "happy"?
Apparently an upgrade.
Also delightful.  :2funny: O0
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Gus the Small AAR
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2018, 02:58:45 PM »
Someone is missing
who would appreciate this.
We must summon him.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline undercovergeek

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Gus the Small AAR
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2018, 02:11:20 PM »
Why is Gus "happy"?
Apparently an upgrade.
Also delightful.  :2funny: O0

he just got a leather cock sheath - he could not be happier

Offline undercovergeek

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2018, 02:36:05 PM »
Its almost an exact match, Gus has more armour though, and i'm running out of cash - the prize for this match - randomly generated - is top left 321 smackers and water for the boys, err boy



Urbanus opens up with a stab to Gus' face, it will leave a scar but goddam he'll look handsome



Prompted by either the stab to the face or the thought of all the time with the ladies Gus goes on a rampage - he actually goes BESERK and chops the guy down in a matter of seconds for even daring to point a sword at him - thats 80 points of damage right there in 2 chops



Nope



Gus in full on weapons training mode, hes completed his AI skills and is now honing weapons, strength and agility surrounded by his stuff - palus, coal pit, rocks. Can i get some Rocky based training montage music here??



Next fight - Iraneus - pretty decent match up, the bad guy has more hit points, Gus has a studded leather cock sheath - he doesnt stand a chance



Ive created a monster, Gus does his beserk thing again and dices the guy - he gets massive crowd approval



Our reward? Apart from a crap ton of gold we get a new slave, we give him a sword, we give him a studded leather cock sheath, we give him a name - arise Mirth of Maine



Next up Granius, no match for Gus but a challenge for Mirth who is not as uncontrolably violent, i dont want to risk our new boy yet so send in the Champion



In the games first 'ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED' moment Gus cuts the guy down in 6 seconds and 3 hits






Offline JasonPratt

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2018, 05:05:52 PM »
Quote
Can i get some Rocky based training montage music here??



"With guts and courage
even one percent becomes
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!!"
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline undercovergeek

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2018, 05:14:11 PM »
Lmao - that'll do

Offline BanzaiCat

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2018, 05:36:47 PM »
Can anyone make
A more nerdy reference
To anime, ever?

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: By Jupiter's Cock - its a Domina AAR
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2018, 05:43:25 PM »
I think there are, like,
six prior shows before this.
I haven't watched them.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.