"...and really bad eggs!" -- Pirates 5 = more of the same

[JasonPratt]

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/pirates-caribbean-dead-men-tell-774657

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar (Bardem), escape from the Devil's Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea, including him. Captain Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seaszzzzzz...

Sorry, the quote function nodded off there toward the end.

Deadly ghost pirates, check.

Terrifying old nemesis we've never heard of before, check.

Nemesis declares war on (other) pirates, check.

Only hope of survival, finding a magical thing which check...

...will grant total control of the seas, check.

Devil's Triangle parallels Davy Jones' Locker, while we're at it.


Look, I've enjoyed every PotC movie so far, even #4, but I'm not even slightly interested in this yet. Just start making One Piece live-action movies, Disney. Die Depp's hair blonde and let him be Sanji the pirate cook. (And maybe also some of the villains.)

[Centurion40]

Ditto.

Time for a burial at sea.

[mirth]

The 4th made over $1 billion. No way Disney wasn't going to make 5.

[Centurion40]

Even with Depp's recent string of turkeys??!!

[GDS_Starfury]

much like Canoe Reeves his movies make boat loads of money.

[JasonPratt]

Well, some of his movies do (again much like Reeves).

Making PotC5 was a foregone conclusion as long as Depp remains good to go. It's the constant revanching of plot material that's getting to me. PotC4 was jusst different enough (having been largely based on an unrelated book, from which the original film took some inspiration) that I didn't complain. 5 is going back to the plot-well of the trilogy and that gives me no confidence.

[mirth]

I'vr never been much of a fan of the PotC franchise. I like Depp as an actor and the PotC movies seem better than average for the genre, but they never captured my interest much. I've seen the first one and parts of the others. They could make ten more or no more and it would mean about the same to me.

[bayonetbrant]

I liked the first, the second was OK and had some interesting ideas, and the third ignored those ideas to just try to make things as big and loud as they could and wasted a lot of money on a mediocre plot.  Oh wait, we're talking about the Pirates trilogy?  Or The Matrix trilogy?

I didn't mind the 4th movie.  I spent too much to see it in IMAX 3D when there wasn't enough of either to make it worth the extra cost.  But the story wasn't bad and I like watching JD as Sparrow because he has fun with it and doesn't take it too seriously.

We'll see if the next story is any good, or if they just keep trying to outdo themselves with excessive stunt pieces in lieu of plot (see also: swordfight on rolling mill-wheel)

[JasonPratt]

Hey now, no one can fairly accuse Pirates 2 of doing things in lieu of plot! The plot often doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's certainly the most detailed and convoluted of the series. (If anything, the 3-way swordfight on the mill-wheel symbolizes how tangled the plot had become by that point in the movie.)

[bayonetbrant]

Hey now, no one can fairly accuse Pirates 2 of doing things in lieu of plot!

I agreed that #2 has a plot, and not a half-bad one, honestly.  But the interesting ideas of #2 were jetissoned for #3's over-the-top big-boss-battle and giant FX budget, pretty much just like Matrix #3.

Plus, #2 has one of my favorite conversation exchanges:

Jack Sparrow: You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davey Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.

[GDS_Starfury]

top 10 gross revenue earners:

http://wallstcheatsheet.com/entertainment/10-actors-who-gross-the-most-in-hollywood.html/?a=viewall

[BanzaiCat]

I just can't wrap my head around these dudes being billionaires just for acting.  :o

[GDS_Starfury]

no dummy.  thats what their movies grossed, not what they made.   :))

[BanzaiCat]

Coming in at No. 10 is Iron Man himself, Robert Downey, Jr. The actor has grossed $3.068 billion over the course of his career

Johnny Depp ranks No. 9 at $3.093 billion in earnings over his entire career

The late comedian Robin Williams has earned $3.165 billion during his career

Maybe you should lay off the getting laid stuff, because the lack of blood flow to your brain is affecting your reading skillz.  :D

If that's not accurate, they need to be clearer in their reportin' and not Brian Williams up everything.

[GDS_Starfury]

its the movies not their personal fortunes man.
I know the last time I said trust me you ended up with a gag ball at one end and a gerbil at the other but trust me on this.