Rimworld - the story of Grogsville and the adventures of Bob, Huw and Gus

[undercovergeek]

For reasons lost in the crash Bob, Huw and Gus were on a spaceship visiting the outer rimworlds - one incorrect button press ( i suspect Bob ) and the ship is barreling uncontrollably towards the surface of one of the worlds.

Let it be known, for RPG and learning reasons i havent read or researched anything re the game, my cute little team of explorers wouldnt know what happened and thus neither do I. Fortunately i have 'the voice of reason' to the right of the screen suggesting things to build and do. Also for RPG and learning reasons I didnt hand pick the team for the necessary skills, i clicked on 'random' and rolled with what we have.

So without further a do i introduce:-

Bob the nudist miner - hes all things 'handsy', hes our miner, builder, crafter and pugilist when the bullets run out. He has a handy career as a spiceminer to help with excavating the vital minerals/metals we'll need to get off the planet, due to a life spent down t'pit hes lost all social skills and empathy, and hes not too on the ball with the 'brain' things. On the plus side hes steadfast, always first to the task and wont stop until its done, coupled with that benefit he's all for getting his junk out and running around the place naked



Huw the masterchef hunter - he catches it, cleans it, cooks it and feeds the team, he's also a mean ass gardener. Huw's been armed with the only rifle as he has the sharpshooting skills, and if he misses he can walk up and punch the thing dead and will basically be the meal provider for the team. A childhood on a farm and a career as an Army cook has prepped him for just this occassion, hes on it. He doesnt give a toss about the team, grunts in the morning and absolutely, positively will not put any fires out, damn him. On the 'plus' side, hes a twitchy fast walking madman



and Gus, the tee-total doctor - for want of a better phrase hes the brains of the operation. He spent his youth quaranteened in a medical facilty due to a rare disease (some kind of dwarfism) away from human contact but did learn some killer medical skills. After this he put his talents to good use by becoming a house husband and tending to the massive brood he created with Mrs Gus, theres also rumour of a dog in the family and a jar of balls on the fireplace. He has no particular bad points but due to his soft girly hands and tiny stature hes fk all use at building things, so while Huw and Bob build the colony you can count on Gus to be skipping in the woods and naming cloud shapes in the sky



The crash site



more later...................

[bob48]

You have my description to a tee.

[Staggerwing]

Very interesting...

[undercovergeek]

Resources from the crash are scattered all over the map, most important of all are the emergency food packs. By default all the wreckage is prohibited to be collected to save the boys wandering all over the map collecting it, I allow them to collect the food packs and build a storage area nearby so that theyre all in one place.

First things first then, the boys need a roof over their heads. I lay out the plans for 3 rooms made of wood and set Bob and Huw to the task, 'too posh to get dirty' Gus is sent to chop down some trees for the construction. I put the houses up against a long marble wall because OCD and maybe a bit more security. Behind the cabins is an abandoned building thats spooking Bob for some reason, I feel no way ready to find out whats in it without secure houses and food in the fridge - ill explore it later



After a day spent crashing the spaceship, drawing up make shift plans for 3 log cabins and chopping some trees the boys sleep under the stars on their first night



By the time the next night comes around the boys are snug in their beds after finishing the cabins, the roofs, and putting down some fancy Ikea flooring. Plans are laid for a communal eating area, table, some stools - once thats up ill need a prep area for turning some of the boars running around into steak and i have a feeling ill need a fridge of some sort

[undercovergeek]

Kitchen built, nice big dining area for the 3, tables and chairs and a butchery table and a cooker

Balls - cooker needs power! I build a wind turbine outside but its blocked by trees - Gus gets his chopper out and starts fixing the problem



During the night a renowned engineer decides to join our happy camp. Hard hat and all, we call him Staggerwing - he has that look about him



With power getting sorted, ill bring all the food into a small storage room next to the kitchen where itll be on hand - i set it to not receive anything but meals, meat, veg and carcasses. So excited by the prospect of venison burgers, Staggerwing gets up at sunrise and starts hauling the food in. Weirdly hes last to bed and first up every day



Its all going well, so well indeed that a squirrel turns mad and attacks Bob whilst hes out sweeping the yard.



Never a man to pass up the opportunity to punch a squirrel to death, Bob gets on it. Bad news he takes a bite and a scratch to the neck, good news hes the proud owner of squirrel meat and skin - to the kitchen for burgers and some fancy squirrel slippers. He goes straight to bed to feel sorry for himself and worringly Doctor Gus walks right past him - i need to allocate a bed to a medical bed so that Gus can administer his magic.



By the time everyone gets up again to build a hospital room, Bob, hard northerner that he is is cured of his ailments with no long lasting effects. I build a hospital room anyway, and then realise i havent built a room for Staggerwing, so its converted to his bedroom

[bob48]

We'll be fine now 'ol Stagger's here.

Oy - can I make a Davy Crockett hat outta that squirrel?

[undercovergeek]

We'll be fine now 'ol Stagger's here.

Oy - can I make a Davy Crockett hat outta that squirrel?

lol - youre already unhappy about wearing clothes, i have an option to make you nekkid i just dont want to go there!

I have to research tailoring i imagine but ill get you a hat dont worry

[bob48]

I don't mind bein' in the nud - but it aint right to wonder abooot withoot yer 'at on.

And that little furry blighter gave me a nasty nip, so his pelt shall be mine, innit.

C'mon 'geek - get on wiv it. My 'eads cold.

[undercovergeek]

I build a cooler unit for the food storage room so the food and carcasses can last longer, and throw a chess board into the dining room for the boys to play.

Bob and Staggerwing get down to some chess in the rec room, while Huw gets set to make some Boar steaks



I dont always get wind blowing through the area for the turbine and when it powers down so does the chiller and cooker, so i build some batteries for the units - these will charge during the day from the turbine and then cut in when the wind fails. Theyre outside undercover because if they get hot or wet they explode. Like mens men Stagger and Bob have gone off to pick strawberries



Alarm bells go off!! We're being raided by pirates........

oh, pirate..........

well, Eaton the Moocher of the Killer Dead gang from down the coast



We set up an ambush with Dead-eye Huw and his rifle hiding behind the rocks, this should be a doddle, Eatons only got a shiv. Out steps Eaton and Huw lets him have it and misses, and fires again, and misses again, and fires and misses - and then gets stabbed for his cross eyed ass hattery.



With a sigh Staggerwing steps up and clubs Eaton on the back of the head. Two things happen, for some reason this act of bravery causes Staggerwings clothes to disappear - he is the Naked Avenger and Eatons not dead - and we have an option to imprison him........



......so we build a prison, capture Eaton and then a lot of clothes issues get resolved. We strip Eaton but Staggerwing doesnt want his tatty, blood stained clothes and gets really moody about it.......



......so Bob has a great idea, he embraces his nudist elements and throws his clothes to the floor for Staggerwing and goes for breakfast. Staggerwing gets some decent gear and Bob can eat as nature intended, minus squirrel hat

[bob48]

LOL

I WANT MY HAT!!!!

[undercovergeek]

And then it all goes to pot

A second raid comes in, this with 3 pirates, two with guns and one with a knife. We set up an ambush again with Staggerwing and Huw hiding on corners to give them shots as the enemy approach, we have Bob hiding in a room to come out with his knife, and Gus is just hiding - cant get the doctor injured. So, on seeing the pic below you may wonder how we got from 'ambush' to 'blazing inferno'.

Well........ the two gun toting baddies are eventually taken down by Staggerwing and Huw shooting at them and Bob running out and stabbing them while they duck. Bob got shot doing this the first time whereupon Staggerwing shot Huw, as they both set off in pursuit of the gang leader his minion set fire to the base.

So we now have the base on fire, Bob in bed with mortal injuries, Huw who cant put out fires so hes doing some cooking, Gus and Staggerwing trying to tackle the blaze - Gus sets himself on fire and the cooler explodes injuring Staggerwing



Driven mental by the pain and presumably a bit pissed he got shot by Staggerwing, Huw goes beserk and starts attacking Gus. The two fight it out whilst Staggerwing keeps putting the fires out. Eventually Gus flattens Huw and carts him off to a medical bed, covered in bullet holes, cuts and bruises. Bob sleeps



What follows is a very stressful few days as everyone tries to recover in bed, Gus would be adminstering aid except hes too burnt, so trying to heal himself first. The base is carnage, theres dead bodies everywhere, everythings smoking, theres no food or cooking facilities and the wind turbine is a pile of ash. Huw dies, bollocks



Either by bad bed management or because hes kinky like that, Staggerwing gets into bed with dead Huw and falls alseep. Bob and Staggerwing get infections from their wounds because Doctor Gus cant get his shit together due to bandaged hands, Bob gets up occassionally to weld stuff and goes back to bed. Everyone is starting to suffer from malnutrition and depression. Some visitors come to the camp....... and leave soon after. Staggerwing dies.......... in Huws bed, next to Huw



I eventually figure out how to get rid of the bodies and scrap metal and build a dumping ground away from the base - Huw is starting to get a bit stinky. Bob dies, leaving Gus who cant build anything or cook!! Gus dies, the only one left is the f**cking prisoner that started all this, and hes fine!!



Game = 1, Geek = 0

[bob48]

Tut.

[Barthheart]

What the heck game is this?!?  ;D

[undercovergeek]

Rimworld, BH

part dwarf fortress, part prison architect, all good fun and hilarious

still in alpha

[undercovergeek]

Tut.

i will never rest until ive made you a squirrel hat