Author Topic: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy! (Completed)  (Read 13775 times)

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Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #30 on: October 15, 2016, 06:28:24 PM »
Week 15:
I hired a fashion consultant.  Look at the picture for his recommendations.
California is a purple "battleground state."  If I'm competitive in California it is excellent news.

Hillary came out for the "GMO Trade."  This stumped me and most of the American Public.  Then Wiki-leaks hacked the unsecured crystal ball used by the Witch for her communications.  GMO = "Give Me More Orphans"  Airboy responded by distributing "Child Lives Matter" buttons.


Airboy's communications are secure.  Airboy uses gun nuts to carry his messages to his operatives.  Airboy's gun nuts are armed with Saiga Anti-Witch Shotguns.  The Saiga Anit-Witch Shotgun has a 50 round magazine loaded with silver buckshot.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2016, 06:31:43 PM by airboy »

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #31 on: October 15, 2016, 10:01:33 PM »
Incredible! Just like the real election.  :o
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #32 on: October 16, 2016, 12:43:08 PM »
...I'm not gonna lie, I kind of lust for that shotgun...


Speaking of, I wonder if players choosing Reptillary get the "bolting out of the gate like a hungry cougar" description.  :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: ^-^
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2016, 03:35:11 PM »
Week 17:
Airboy's lead in the popular polls is now 10 points.  He is over 50%.  There are 41 weeks in the election so we are not quite to the half way point.


Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2016, 03:43:25 PM »
Week 19:
Airboy's lead in the polls is now 16 points with Hillary! dropping below 40% support nationally.
Airboy chose Carly Fiorina of California as his running mate hoping to hold California.


Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2016, 03:50:10 PM »
In Week 20 I'm polling nationally at 53% while Hillary! is at 38%.  I'm within 1 point in the "Home Coven" state of New York.

Airboy has had speeches and campaign ads in favor of social security.


Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #36 on: October 17, 2016, 03:59:18 PM »
Week 21:
This is the half-way point in the campaign.  There are 20 more weeks in the election so we are in June.

Massachusetts has returned to it's anti-witch roots.  A national organization has started called: D.O.S..  This is "Daughters of Salem."  DOS is patterned after the DAR - Daughters of the American Revolution.  But DOS links its heritage back to the 1600s witch hunters from the Salem area.

When asked about the DOS in an interview, Airboy was caught unprepared.  Airboy mentioned his mother is a member of the DAR.  When pressed on the legitimacy of the new DOS group Airboy responded: "It is nice that people are learning more about American History."



Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #37 on: October 17, 2016, 04:03:03 PM »
Midpoint in the election.  The Consensus Analysis.



Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #38 on: October 17, 2016, 04:17:06 PM »
Controversy Strikes the Nation:

Hillary! came out swinging when the latest polls showed her far behind Airboy.  She gave a major speech where she declared that: "I am not a Witch."  She also charged Airboy was a "hatey hater" by being against "Wiccans" who are all "wonderful Americans who bake excellent cookies." 



The mainstream press took up the charge and Airboy is being asked at every campaign stop if he is a "hatey hater" and why "America perceives Airboy as being "Anti-Wiccan."  The Mainstream Press also charged that Airboy is distracting the public from important issues such as "it is still Bush's Fault," and his opposition to open borders and unlimited importation of black cats.

The Press Attacks Airboy



Airboy eventually lost his temper and exclaimed:
"I am pro-Child and pro-Puppy.  Children and Puppies should not have to live in fear.  I am in favor of legal immigration, but do not want people invited to the country with an anti-child and anti-puppy agenda."

Airboy then took the afternoon off from the campaign and went deep sea fishing.  A Press Helicopter followed but returned to shore after warning shots were fired for "scaring off the fish."  In an amazing development, Airboy briefly went over the rail into the Gulf of Mexico when he hooked a very large tuna.  Airboy did not lose his rod and eventually landed the tuna.  Pictures from a trailing boat carrying members of the press showed Airboy going over the rail and climbing back after passing over his rod & reel.

Airboy joked when he got back to the dock about his unexpected swim.  He said that "at least water won't hurt me because I'm human."  When asked to clarify his statement he walked off to start the grill.  His press secretary later would only say "ding dong."

He kept many large tuna steaks for a cookout, but gave the rest of the fish to a local food bank catering to women and children.  The rest of the fish was ground up and given to stray puppies.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2016, 04:19:14 PM by airboy »

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #39 on: October 17, 2016, 05:46:45 PM »
Damn. Trump should follow your lead.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #40 on: October 17, 2016, 09:00:20 PM »
Ding Dong! (Digging up that political cartoon was priceless, btw.)

I must however reveal that I am in favor of unlimited importation of black cats. They are awesome, like ninja squirrels, except moreso, even if they would murder us all in their sleep if they thought they could get away with it.

(...I can't believe I just made that old Matt Groenig cartoon strip from "Life In Hell" politically relevant, kind of by accident...)

But seriously, I can haz more black cats plz, kthxbi.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #41 on: October 19, 2016, 02:15:42 PM »
Week 20:
Airboy realizes that old people love checks from the government.  Hence, he is for social security.  Lead continues to hold.


Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #42 on: October 19, 2016, 02:18:39 PM »
Week 22:
Hillary! is against the War on Terror - especially the terror small children and puppies have for witches.
Hillarys! big issue is the wealth gap.

Airboy's lead continues.


Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #43 on: October 19, 2016, 02:27:31 PM »
Week 23
A wikileak was released of a picture from 20 years ago with Hillary! in full witch uniform.  Hillary initially stated that the picture was faked, but then multiple pictures of Hillary from 20 years ago in full witch outfit came to light.  A leaked CBS news video outtake also showed Hillary quite comfortable in a witch outfit.  CBS immediately fired five staffers.  Immediately after the staffers were escorted from the building a mysterious woman in black set them all on fire and they died a horrible death.  The mysterious woman vanished in a cloud of green smoke.

Wiki -leak 20 year old Hilllary photo


Hillary! ignored shouted press questions.  But national polling showed that increasing numbers of Americans, especially children and families with children, think Hillary is a witch.


Hillary then gave an interview with an "unbiased" CNN reporter. CNN = Clinton News Network.  In that interview Hillary! exclaimed that she is not a witch and that only a "hatey hater" like Airboy would think so.  Hillary went on to state that this was "prejudice against older women" and that it was a common tactic to demean women as they approached 70 to call them "witches."  Below is a picture from the CNN interview.


Wiki-leaks then released a video from a NOW (National Association of Wiccans) Fundraiser.  At the fundraiser Hillary! stated that she was not a witch.  But then with exaggerated slowness Hillary winked.  Attached is a photo of the wink.


At a campaign stop in Massachusetts a Mom threw a bucket of water at Hillary!  Showing amazing agility, Hillary! dodged the water.  Hillary supporters then tackled the woman and she was forcibly removed.  Hillary then loudly proclaimed that this was all "Airboy's Fault" and that only people who are "completely deplorable hatey haters could ever believe that she was a witch.  A shout when out from the throng "how many of Airboy's supporters are deplorable? and Hillary screamed "at least half of them are deplorable.  And those hatey haters are irredeemable!"


« Last Edit: October 19, 2016, 02:48:01 PM by airboy »

Offline airboy

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Re: Sick of the Election? - Vote For Airboy!
« Reply #44 on: October 19, 2016, 02:51:29 PM »
Week 24:
Airboy keeps hammering away at being against ISIS.  Airboy has had more anti-ISIS speeches and advertising than on any other topic.  He also has launched a series of negative ads which state that Hillary! is against fighting ISIS.



Week 25:
Airboy's lead continues in week 25.  He comes out for drought assistance.  When asked by a member of the Press if he believes that "the curse of a witch causes drought" Airboy responded "I love puppies and children" as he walked away.  Increasing numbers of individuals are being ejected from Hillary! rallies wearing shirts stating that "Hillary = Witch" or carrying homemade signs claiming that she is a witch.  The press calls these individuals "Kooks" and the weekly wrap-up states that Hillary had attracted more of them.


« Last Edit: October 19, 2016, 02:57:23 PM by airboy »