CoJ: Chapters 38 through 45 (end of first half project)

Started by JasonPratt, February 09, 2013, 11:34:04 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

JasonPratt

Chapter 45: Heart And Stone (Part 2 of 2)

___"See the short blue spike on the map?" Despite her temper, Portunista found herself looking for it with a rising sense of discovery. There it was, dead center; the colored spike had risen up from the table after she'd lifted the ball away. "Now, that spike represents a location Qarfax taught this table to learn—specifically, the aasvogel nesting grounds. Now try pulling out the map-table's focus." He waited patiently, prudently keeping his hands away from anything.
___With another sigh, though partly from her growing pleasure at finding out something useful and important, she set the sigilball in its niche—the hum did shift, just as Jian had said—and did as he had suggested.
___Hours ago, not long after noon, she had discovered most of the map controls; the excitement she had felt at that time was now returning, increased with the expectation of accomplishment.
___When she had pulled the focus out, farther than she had tested before, a second blue spike appeared, amidst a mountain range, hundreds of kilopaces north and west of the Tower. She easily focused the map on that.
___Restraining, with some difficulty, a shiver and a smile, Portunista carefully pulled the sigilball from its resting niche. With only a look at Jian to reassure herself that she was doing correctly—a look she found she barely resented right that moment—she touched the spike with the ball.
___It sank beneath the ball; she felt but didn't hear it finely grinding. As the ball touched down upon the nominal surface of the map, it twisted and jolted within her fingers—she yanked her hand away with a curse, although she wasn't hurt.
___"Oh, sorry. I think it only does that with the blue spikes."
___She started to shoot an indignant glare at Jian...but the scene behind him caught her attention.
___Where the wall of stone had arced, now gaped a shallow cave.
___Ignoring her irritation in the glow of her amazement, Portunista stepped around the table's edge, toward the cave.
___The lights of the laboratory illumined stacks of crates and barrels. Who knew what Qarfax had buried beneath this mountain?!
___One object stood especially out in the careful piles.
___A mirror, tall and wide, framed in gilded leaf.
___"I've poked around a little in there already," Jian was saying behind her. "Mostly I only found some normal tower storeroom things. Although," he added, "my search was not very thorough. I lugged a stack of salted haunches back into the lab, for us to roast. Then I tried the other blue spike—and who did I find, but my flying partner, moping around alone! The other aasvogels must be shunning her right now, after she accidentally started that birdfight."
___Portunista didn't give a single burning feather for the bird, or its troubles...She stopped her approach with a jerk—she was standing so close to the portal, she could see a faint transparent film in front of her eyes. Her nose was almost brushing it.
___"Even though I searched around," continued Jian, "I didn't touch the mirror. I figured you would want to be the first of us to look it over. And after all, you are the maga." Silence for some moments; then, "Well? What do you think?"

___But she couldn't bring herself to cross the threshold.
___"Where..." She swallowed and started again. "Where does the cavern lead?"
___"Nowhere," came the answer from behind. "As far as I can tell, it's simply a natural fissure deep in the heart of a mountain. It isn't large at all." He paused again. "I didn't see anything in there—dangerous I mean." Another pause; she didn't move. "Portunista?" Now he sounded worried. "Is something wrong? Are you seeing something?"
___"No," she answered, faintly.

___She was lying.
___What she saw, in her mind, was an image from the night before.
___She saw herself, stepping through a portal much like this one.
___And she saw that other portal, closing behind her, trapping her on the other side.
___And she imagined Jian: lifting the ball from the table, after she entered this portal—
___—she would die, smothering, long before she could possibly melt through klips of stone.
___Or, perhaps he would lift the ball as she stepped across the portal's membrane—bloodily bisecting her.
___how would that feel? how long would she live? would she go mad before she died?
___Burning hot into her mind, the memory came, of what she had wanted to do, to the aasvogel...

___She laughed, once, a chuff of air. They'd probably think she was jotting.
___Didn't she trust Jian?

___If she wanted that mirror, she would have to personally trust him—as a person himself—not to kill her in her vulnerability.
___The possibility also remained: that Jian would abuse her trust.
___True, she knew of several facts that gave her grounds for believing she could trust him with her life. Including a promised commitment to her, that she didn't want to accept.
___Yet without an active personal trust, given freely by her choice, the facts were merely facts, shedding their light but only as far as she could understand them—or as far as she chose to see them.
___And the facts might as well be dead. They couldn't make the decision 
for her.

___Would you even want them to? asked a quieter voice within. Is that the sort of person you are, to let your decisions be made by something other than you yourself?
___No.
___Then choose. Will you, you yourself, trust Jian, he himself? Or not?

___And then another voice, a spiteful ironic voice, asked:
___Won't you put your faith in Jian?

___She could feel her brain constricting, her teeth baring...
___"Jian," she said. "Would you step away from the table, please?"

___A moment passed. Then two. "The table?" He sounded truly perplexed. Of course he does, one of those voices told her, a voice she didn't want to hear—after all, he trusted you to not be hurting him...
___Well, he didn't trust me not to hurt that bird! she retorted.
___The voices were silent. The quieter voice had no need to speak, when it could flash up the memory of her feelings and thoughts when she had asked Jian to step back into the room, away from the aasvogel. The other voice kept silent, betting that this would make no difference.
___That's right! she said to the quieter voice. You see? I couldn't be trusted!
___The voice replied no further.
___She told herself this was a victory.

___"Jian," she said; a feeling like grime was washing down her hair, down her skin...but she wouldn't stop... "Step away from the table now." She made it an order, not a request.
___What would she say, if he asked her why? So I can be sure you won't kill me, Jian? Because after all I've seen, and all you've done, I still don't want to trust you, Jian? Just shut up and do what I tell you, Jian?

___"Oh."
___And that was all he said. But it was enough. She knew that he knew what she meant.

___Once, long ago, in an idle moment during her apprenticeship, she had wondered how it would feel to be turned into stone.
___Her heart was doing that now.
_________the most horrible thing she had felt in her life

___She opened her mouth to tell him to never mind...
___...she shut it again. It was too late. It was already done. She would only look a fool.

___She listened to him walk, slowly, across the floor. "Okay," he said; but there was no cheer, no joy in his voice. "I'm over here near Gaekwar, Commander." Not Portunista...not 'ista...not even milady...
___She stepped through the portal.

___She stood in the heart of a mountain; a heart where no light had shown for ages of ages—aside from one occasional light provided by someone from far beyond.
___She looked up, around. The cavern did not continue very far behind the  portal—a fissure less than a third the size of the laboratory.
___One constricted hole of a heart within a mountain of stone...

___"So, where is the wall?" Gaekwar was asking Jian—but his jocular drawl sounded strained.
___"What...? Oh...it's still there, I think, behind the portal. The tesser is terribly thin, you know. It's being generated by a slight extension running around the wall, lined with sigils even smaller and more complex than the ones on the door—maybe Qarfax scribed them after further refining his skill. The ridge is pretty hard to spot, unless you suspect already that something is there." Jian seemed to be making apology. For what? thought Portunista bitterly. He had found the thing...!
___Not her. After being in the room for hours.
___She, the maga, had missed it completely.
___Jian was tacitly covering for her failure, so she wouldn't look incompetent. He even sounded happy again; perhaps because he was able to help someone.
___Because he was helping her.

___Don't you understand I can't be trusted?!! she screamed in her mind.

___Why not choose to live up to his expectations instead? asked the quieter voice. You do have the choice...
___If he cannot trust you with his heart, then why should you trust him with yours? asked the other voice.

___She thrust both questions away, and walked back into the laboratory, taking the mirror with her—it wasn't heavy, as if its only weight was in its golden filigree. Certainly magical, then; but she would have to study it later. There were other things worth doing now, with this portal—things that could possibly help them to survive.
___She found a place to lay the mirror down, near her books and scrolls; and turning back, to close the tesser...

___Jian was in the cavern.

___Puttering round, in one of the casks; and as she watched, he pulled out...
___...a towel.

___He walked back into the laboratory, wiping his hands.
___"I'm glad I saw those in there earlier! In fact," he grinned, "I think I'll get some water from the well downstairs, to clean myself up better." And nodding briskly, he left the room.

___A towel.
___She wouldn't trust him with her life, to get a thing she only suspected the worth of, and didn't even remotely know how to use.
___He was willing to trust her with his life—simply to get a towel to clean his hands, so that he wouldn't annoy any others—no, so she would not be  annoyed—with a stink.

___She refused to watch him leave.
___Instead she stood, watching the portal, for half a minute.
___The half became one.

___Then Gaekwar spoke.
___"Y'know," he drawled. "I've been thinking about that bird of his. The one he wouldn't dream of treating like a pet. The one he wouldn't be enemies with, even if he had to fight her; the one he's willing to love, 'cause she and he both share a love for something. The one he's willing to risk his own life for. And I think I've figured out what they both love.
___"He and she, both love her."

___His drawl had disappeared, replaced by diamond-cutting hardness. "Excuse me," he said, uncoiling from his lounge against the wall. "I'm gonna go downstairs and get some hot spiced mead. Got a bad taste in my mouth."

___He left, without looking back.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

JasonPratt

#16
Notes from the real author...

Considering how badly Portunista fails in this chapter, I decided maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to post it up on Valentine's Day, the way I originally aimed for. ;)

Hey wait--didn't she say, the last time there was a climactic scene in this room, that now the voices would begin?!  8-)

(I don't recall if I planned that out explicitly, to be honest. ;) But I can say that neither of the voices are narrative metaphorical devices, and that it isn't accidental that their first appearance is connected to Portunista being in this room.)

With Portunista acting in mainly admirable (if testy) ways from the beginning of Section Three through the end of the book, with one important narrative exception that will set up the plot of Book 2, I kept an eye out for ways to balance her characterization so that when she hits her biggest failure for the book it doesn't come out of plot nowhere. It works the other way, too: when she's being particularly risible I have to keep an eye out for ways she can do some admirable things, so the reader won't just want to throw her (and the book) out a window. Antiheroes: tough to write. (And even more of a challenge in Book 2...)

Fortunately, it happened (somewhat by my design) that I had gone just as far as I could go in the book without dealing frequently with the guest villains; starting with the next few chapters as they introduce themselves to each other! (By a happy accident this shift also occurs right at the midway point of the book by wordcount, although technically that would be a couple of pages into the next chapter.) It's a lot easier to write antiheroes (or an antiheroine in this case) if I have actual outright villains around to provide a comparative contrast. By no accident at all, the number and caliber of outright villains more than triple in the next book!--even though most of them aren't in plot-range to do much, they help counterbalance Portunista's progression down to the sharp cliff incident. (As well as set up the various confrontational challenges in the final portion of what became Book 3.)


So, since this is the final entry of my First Half Project, how can I describe the second half with as few spoilers as possible? Hmmm....

SECTION FOUR -- COMPLICATIONS (part 2): Bomas vs. Artabanus! Artabanus vs. Praxiteles! Praxiteles vs. Portunista! Jian loses another shirt! Seifas meets his brother! The last of the Guacu-ara falls! All of Seifas' dreams, all of his nightmares! Portunista stays awake to enjoy the duty of sleep!

SECTION FIVE -- WITHIN: This is what Jian thinks of that man! Portunista decides to run for it! Portunista decides to be no easy prey! Portunista takes another bath! Praxiteles prophecies to Bomas! Artabanus plots his assault! Othon throws a rock! Pooralay talks about his past! Portunista fights against Jian's worst enemy! Pooralay loses his temper! Khase and Trent go find a tavern! Portunista gets promoted! Jian gets another shirt! The brigades march! The attack of Artabanus! The defense of Portunista! The call to glory! Artabanus fights the man behind the door! Portunista orders death by overkill! Jian laughs at his enemies! Portunista kills one of her own men! Artabanus gets into serious trouble! Khase hears a story! Praxiteles attacks! Portunista apologizes to Qarfax! Jian prepares to die! The garrison sorties! The Ungulata charge!

SECTION SIX -- WITHOUT: Artabanus shows how he gives heart to his people! Jian's people speak for themselves! The river begins to crumble! Seifas drinks the fire with the Ungulata! Gaekwar gets p*ssed beyond rational comprehension! The mystery guest arrives to kick @$$! Praxiteles goes sheep-hunting!

And then, when hope and justice seem to have evaporated from the face of the earth...

...things get worse.

Not necessarily in the following order! More mystery guests arrive to kick all the @$$, including Portunista's troops! One of Portunista's allies is defeated! The allies of one of her allies are annihilated while trying to save her ally! Gaekwar loses an argument to Dagon! Dagon tells Portunista what she is! Jian loses his sword! Jian abandons Seifas on the battlefield, against a foe the juacuar cannot defeat! Seifas kills the hope of Portunista! Artabanus gets away without even a scratch! Othon and Pooralay stand around, unable to decide what to do! Portunista betrays Jian again! Portunista loses the Tower of Qarfax! Portunista gives herself willingly to one of her enemies! Praxiteles defeats Seifas, buries Jian, and spits on Jian's grave!! Jian does not rise from the dead!!! (Just in case someone thinks they've long since figured out where I'm going with this. ;) )

You probably think I'm tricking you! You probably think I'm lying! Yes! No! Holes! The great hole!

NOW LET US SEE WHAT THE FUTURE WILL BRING!!
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

JasonPratt

#17
As an extra addendum, I'm not going to go into even that much detail for giving an idea of what happens in Books 2 and 3, but I feel pretty safe posting the chapter and section titles. (The remaining chapter and section titles for the second half of CoJ can be found listed at this project's main link page here.)

Note that the numbering of sections and chapters will continue where they leave off between books. That's going to be true for the whole series: there will only ever be one Section Three or Chapter 45 (as a pertinent example). Also, the occasional de-capped chapter title is not an accident.

EDGE OF JUSTICE
CHAPTER 74 -- What To Do (prologue book 2)

SECTION SEVEN -- FREEDOMS
CHAPTER 75 -- Obligations
CHAPTER 76 -- Differences
CHAPTER 77 -- Viewpoints
CHAPTER 78 -- What Now
CHAPTER 79 -- Over A Fire By Night
CHAPTER 80 -- Vantage
CHAPTER 81 -- Ready Or Not
CHAPTER 82 -- The Current Arrangement
CHAPTER 83 -- The Only Hope Worth Anything
CHAPTER 84 -- With And Not Against
CHAPTER 85 -- A Suitable Gift

SECTION EIGHT -- TRANSITION
CHAPTER 86 -- Division
CHAPTER 87 -- Enemies Together
CHAPTER 88 -- Alone Among Friends
CHAPTER 89 -- While It Is Here
CHAPTER 90 -- Ideas

SECTION NINE -- UPHILL IN BOTH DIRECTIONS
CHAPTER 91 -- Edges
CHAPTER 92 -- Swallowing
CHAPTER 93 -- A Daunting Average
CHAPTER 94 -- Darkness Falling
CHAPTER 95 -- Gnawing
CHAPTER 96 -- Tearing
CHAPTER 97 -- Damning

SECTION TEN -- LACERATIONS
CHAPTER 98 -- always, always
CHAPTER 99 -- No Escape
CHAPTER 100 -- Positioning
CHAPTER 101 -- Throw Down
CHAPTER 102 -- To The Blood
CHAPTER 103 -- Shattered
CHAPTER 104 -- Steps

SECTION ELEVEN -- GIVEN FREELY
CHAPTER 105 -- Through
CHAPTER 106 -- Very Near
CHAPTER 107 -- all away
CHAPTER 108 -- quieting

SECTION TWELVE -- OVER THE EDGE
CHAPTER 109 -- A Sword
CHAPTER 110 -- The Cliff
CHAPTER 111 -- Falling
CHAPTER 112 -- Life Or Death
CHAPTER 113 -- forgiveness
CHAPTER 114 -- Tears Of Stillness
CHAPTER 115 -- The Dragon And The Knight

I can't give a pagecount because the book isn't typeset yet, but it runs about 88% wordcount compared to CoJ, and that's likely to go down as I finish editing it.



SONG OF JUSTICE

Chapter 116 -- The Queen of Winter (prologue to Book 3)

SECTION THIRTEEN -- CABAL
CHAPTER 117 -- Finesse
CHAPTER 118 -- Proceedings And Not Proceeding
CHAPTER 119 -- Killing Time In Regard To Walls
CHAPTER 120 -- Barking and Disembarking

SECTION FOURTEEN -- BLADES OF A WOMAN
CHAPTER 121 -- A Better Reason
CHAPTER 122 -- Breaking Her Fast
CHAPTER 123 -- Empty Plates
CHAPTER 124 -- Trysting
CHAPTER 125 -- Not Declining
CHAPTER 126 -- Neicrafte

SECTION FIFTEEN -- SAND IN THE WINE
CHAPTER 127 -- A Treasure Lost
CHAPTER 128 -- Problems
CHAPTER 129 -- Divorce
CHAPTER 130 -- Voices
CHAPTER 131 -- Making Sense

SECTION SIXTEEN -- THE FAIR MAN
CHAPTER 132 -- Now He Knows
CHAPTER 133 -- Down
CHAPTER 134 -- directionless
CHAPTER 135 -- Choosing To Walk
CHAPTER 136 -- Small Mercies
CHAPTER 137 -- Cascabel
CHAPTER 138 -- Eria
CHAPTER 139 -- Aleza

SECTION SEVENTEEN -- DAMNEDEST THINGS
CHAPTER 140 -- Pieces in Motion
CHAPTER 141 -- For Her And Not For Her
CHAPTER 142 -- Surrenders and Refusals
CHAPTER 143 -- Sensitivity
CHAPTER 144 -- Respect And The Dead
CHAPTER 145 -- Face And Body
CHAPTER 146 -- Creeping
CHAPTER 147 -- A Little Discussion
CHAPTER 148 -- Preparations
CHAPTER 149 -- Wellhausen
CHAPTER 150 -- Day of Defeat
CHAPTER 151 -- Hunting And Crying
CHAPTER 152 -- Chafing

SECTION EIGHTEEN -- TOWARD A BLACK DAY
CHAPTER 153 -- Recouping
CHAPTER 154 -- Risks Inside
CHAPTER 155 -- Revelations
CHAPTER 156 -- Understandings
CHAPTER 157 -- Meeting Death

As of Feb 15, 2013, the remaining chapters (and probably sections) of SoJ haven't been titled (or in some cases even composed yet, although several have, and some others have been plotted out). But the final third of the book will be largely dedicated to SoJ's Macro-Fight Sequence, including several action scenes and related confrontations leading up to it. The book's length at the moment looks to be about the same as CoJ and EoJ put together. (Which makes sense as CoJ and EoJ were originally intended to be the first half of one large book, the second half being the material for SoJ.)

Assuming CoJ's pagecount as the standard, I could publish a collected 1780 page book out of the trilogy. Not sure I would ever do that, but I could. ;) (I certainly have a few books around that size myself.)
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!