Canadian Navy Ships Collide

[mirth]

Fortunately no injuries to the crews.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/09/01/navy-investigating-training-exercise-that-went-dramatically-wrong-after-two-canadian-warships-collide/

[bayonetbrant]

playing chicken and realized neither one of them had Francophone crews?

[mirth]

playing chicken and realized neither one of them had Francophone crews?

As someone of French Canadian ancestry, you have insulted my honor and I challenge you to a duel! Gus will serve as my proxy in said duel.

[bayonetbrant]

Hey, I'm of French-Canadian ancestry, too - just, y'know, by way of Louisiana

[besilarius]

I recommend that in true historical grognard style, you take this duel to the historical site where Stephen Decatur was killed by Samuel Barron.
This is a small national park in Bladensburg, Md., just outside the border of the District of Columbia (where dueling was illegal).  The "dark, and bloody ground" is pretty small, but rather pleasant with children's play sets.  Still, the actual duelling ground is preserved; it is open with clear fields of fire.
Not only will you defend your honor, but will do it in an historical and heavily used site.

[bayonetbrant]

and heavily used site.

I hope it's been used lately!

And by "lately" I mean within the past 6 weeks or so...  how cool would that be?

[mirth]

Hey, I'm of French-Canadian ancestry, too - just, y'know, by way of Louisiana

So we'll both be using proxies for the duel?

[besilarius]

My eyes aren't so good for target shooting anymore (even at the enormous distance of ten paces), but I will be happy to volunteer as a second for either of the duellists.   Getting the required MO, mainly to assign the time of death, could be an issue in this unenlightened time.
Can also offer a nice spread before, or after, the drawing of blood, for any survivors.  Traditionally, it would be hot, black coffee, fresh bread, and bacon.  And, of course, various flasks of "medicinal" spirits.   However, there is a Dunkin's Donut nearby, an IHOP, and a Burger King.
Croissanwich for all!

[besilarius]

Mirth, it occurs to me, that as the aggrieved party, it is your choice as to which weapons are used.
Now, we all think of american duels revolving around pistols (Decatur and Barron, Hamilton and Burr, etc.), but that is not true.
Think of the duel over Paris where hot air balloons with blunderbuss were the weapons of choice.  Otto von Bismarck was supposedly involved in a duel where the aggrieved party chose two sausages.  The macguffin there was that one was ifected with trichinosis.  Naturally, Bismarck refused such a dishonorable way of resolving a matter of honor.
Now I would suggest, that due tot he recent release of Rome II, it would be right and proper to use weaponry from that time period.  The roman infantryman's gladius comes to mind.  Perhaps the pilum.
Still, I think the best weapons would for both parties to be armed with the Macedonian sarissa.  What could be fairer, and more groglike, than to be stabbing each other with sixteen foot pikes?

[Staggerwing]

A much better choice of weapons with period 'flavor' would be two water-balloons full of Garum. Loser may not shower for the rest of the day.

[LongBlade]

I like the blunderbuss + zeppelin solution.

The only thing better might be some sort of Tesla lightning pistol or something.

[besilarius]

The hot air balloon with blunderbuss was a Klassik.  But it did cause an excess of casualties.  Both parties rose up in their balloons, but as the Code Duello required, their seconds went up with them.
Thus when one got a hit on the opponents balloon, when the balloon crashed, the second also perished.
I believe that some versions of the Code allowed the seconds to take over if the aggrieved party was wounded too badly to continue.  Still, the seconds were there to maintain rational thought, not to themselves die.

[mirth]

^I like that. If I'm going to die, you can be damned sure I'm taking my second to hell with me.

Balloons and blunderbusses it is!

[besilarius]

If you and Brant will set a date, I'd be happy to reserve the Bladensburg duelling grounds. 
Can easily fit this into the category of a family party.

[Staggerwing]

Can you get a beer permit for the day as well?