Swiss Army Mess

Keunert · April 30, 2012, 01:28:45 AM

Our army has somehow lost the data of 27'000 servicemen. They do not know if those servicemen actually did keep their serviceweapons or if they did bring it back.
Even before this mess they lost track of 733 SIG 550 assault rifles of servicemen that were evaluated as critical: the constant occurring of shootings with Swiss army
weapons involved lead to a policy that forbid those servicemen that were convicted criminals or suffered mental illness etc to keep their weapons after service.

Just recently a shooter got caught. he an assault rifle that he was not even allowed to possess. but the army somehow let him have it.

spelk · April 30, 2012, 02:45:43 AM

I thought the Swiss Army were only kitted out with knives! ;) ;D

Keunert · April 30, 2012, 03:45:07 AM

soon if they go on losing their rifles... this is a good time for the russians to finally attack.

LongBlade · April 30, 2012, 08:00:10 AM

Sorry to hear it. That is a bit of a mess.

Gusington · April 30, 2012, 09:19:25 AM

Even if the Swiss only had their knives I think they could still take out invading Russians.

Bison · April 30, 2012, 09:52:20 AM

Uh...don't the Ruskies have to take out like 5 countries in route to the land of the Swiss Miss?

MIGMaster · April 30, 2012, 09:53:21 AM

Imagine how pissed they'll be at that point !

Keunert · April 30, 2012, 09:56:12 AM

Bison, yes but they are all secret puppet states of those pesky commies anyway: Ukraine, Slowakei and the Austrian socialists.

Gusington · April 30, 2012, 09:59:51 AM

If the Russians revert to Red Dawn tactics, they will swarm the Swiss with paratroopers. It is probably a pretty safe bet that Ukraine, Slovakia and Austria combined could not stop Russian violations of their collective airspace. No need to go overland!

Additionally, if the Russians continue with the Red Dawn strategy, they will also call for help from old school allies Cuba and Angola. Once those crazies are unleashed upon Switzerland, all hell will certainly break loose...Swiss Army knives in hand or not.

Regardless I think the Swiss will still be able to prevail.

Bison · April 30, 2012, 10:07:05 AM

I think the Swiss have more to worry about than a Ruskie invasion like a severe shortage of recola, hot chocolate or alphorn musicians. Just think what that would do to the national image and economy?

LongBlade · April 30, 2012, 10:09:58 AM

Quote from: Bison on April 30, 2012, 10:07:05 AM
I think the Swiss have more to worry about than a Ruskie invasion like a severe shortage of recola, hot chocolate or alphorn musicians. Just think what that would do to the national image and economy?

Pikes! I tell you the answer is pikes! Swiss pikemen holding choke points in the narrow Alpine passes have been undefeated for centuries. It is their best hope.

Gusington · April 30, 2012, 10:15:52 AM

^That and the heavy artillery, missiles and probably nukes they have hidden at the base of every 'horn' in the country. Don't mess with the Swiss.

Keunert · April 30, 2012, 10:29:01 AM

LongBlade · April 30, 2012, 10:30:12 AM

Quote from: Keunert on April 30, 2012, 10:29:01 AM

Is that a packet of Hot Cocoa in that packet on her hip?

Or condoms? Tough to see from this angle.

Gusington · April 30, 2012, 10:33:54 AM

They're obviously nuclear-armed pike tips.