Why Aquaman Rocks

[JasonPratt]

That said, the "strong as Superman, invulnerable as Superman" line is wishful thinking. True compared to Siegel and Shuster Superman, I guess.

That said: he dominates elder Lovecraftian space gods into submission and makes them cry as they apologize for offending him and crawl into a bag of holding.


(He was reasonably boss before Peter David's run, but David put him to work.)

[JasonPratt]

To put it shortly: Aquaman == Kratos but about 20 times more capable.

Admittedly, not Wonder Woman level.  ;) But often more ruthless.

[endfire79]

I dont remember but Did green arrow ever get along with aquaman ?  He was such a rusty coot

[BanzaiCat]

World's Most Useless Super-Heroes #1: Aquaman

http://magus71.wordpress.com/2008/04/09/worlds-most-useless-super-heroes-1-aquaman/

His powers are a regrettable mix of silly, useless, and restrained to an environment in which no man lives–except for Aquaman. The only thing his powers may be good for is getting chicks, because we all know how women adore dolphins

...

Actually, what would be better than killing off Aquaman would be to have him go rogue, start jacking cruise liners with armies of Sea Monkeys or destroying the economy of coastal Maine by marching all of the lobsters down to Mexico for spring break. The women he'd score when he marched his horde of lobster onto the shores of Rosarito Beach would boggle the mind. I think Rogue Aquaman would have starfish attached to his belt, that he could toss like shuriken. Only in a pinch of course, otherwise they'd be decorative starfish.

The Justice League comic and cartoon invariably found reasons to include this useless hero in all of the team's escapades. Superman and Batman would be slugging it out with Solomon Grundy and Bizarro, while Aquaman would be scooping hapless and intoxicated sea-kayakers out of the murky waters of the YMCA swimming pool.

And if anyone makes a real movie with Aquaman as the lead hero, I'm calling for a revolution. They rarely get superhero movies right in the first place, and to make a movie about the worst hero of them all would be catastrophic. I know what they'd do too. It would have some sort of Broke Back Mountain twist to it. I guarantee it. The only way they'd get people to go the film would be to throw gayness into it and feed off the sliver of people that will do whatever they can to partake of that which is gay.

[Gusington]

That is epic, BC...so damn funny!! And a rogue Aquaman would be cool...still gay, but cool.

[bayonetbrant]

You guys need to keep up - I posted that link back up on reply #11

[BanzaiCat]

You guys need to keep up - I posted that link back up on reply #11

Gee...uh...I knew I thought it looked familiar... :-[  :P

[LongBlade]

You guys need to keep up - I posted that link back up on reply #11

Don't worry about it, Brant. They're still grasping at straws trying to take down the ultimate superhero. With the unable to figure that out, keeping up with a few posts in a thread is like rocket science.

[GDS_Starfury]

SMH

[LongBlade]

SMH

Suck Mirth's what?

Nevermind. You old geezers could never change with the times.

[GDS_Starfury]

its not that we're too old LB.  it's that we enjoy real pussy instead on a "superhero" that smells like a poorly cleaned one.

[JasonPratt]

I dont remember but Did green arrow ever get along with aquaman ?  He was such a rusty coot

(I see what you did there with "rusty", though "crusty" would have made an even better pun == crustacean.  ::) )

I don't remember them doing much together, probably for obvious reasons.

Still, with Ollie as the friendly militant liberal of the League, that would have made for an interesting set of stories, since Arthur is necessarily concerned about the environment but protects it in a radically conservative way. (As a king, with armies.)


Never mind the slanderous level of ignorance displayed, LB. They're missing out on some fine sf/fantasy stories, that's all.

[LongBlade]

Never mind the slanderous level of ignorance displayed, LB. They're missing out on some fine sf/fantasy stories, that's all.

Oh, I know. It's fun to watch them get in a tizzy over their ignorance 

[Hot lead and dirty talk!]

The only thing Aqua man 'rocks' are other dudes a$$es.

[LongBlade]

The only thing Aqua man 'rocks' are other dudes a$$es.

Jealous much?