Airboy Goes to the Movies - 2017

[airboy]

My wife and I returned from our Transatlantic cruise.  I watched all or part of 20 movies during this trip. 

Office Space – a strange movie.  Our protagonist is a programmer in a cube farm.  His boss makes the programmers work without pay every weekend.  He goes nuts and decides to stop coming to work.  At the same time "management consultants" come in to determine who can be fired.  Lots of unproductive people get the axe, but so do some of the productive programmers.  Our hero is recommended for promotion because he "has not been properly motivated."  The programmers come up with a way to steal from the company which goes hilariously wrong.  A red Swingline stapler has a starring role.  I enjoyed it, but will never watch it again.  Babe Factor - A cute Jennifer Anniston is the love interest if you yearn to see her as a waitress.

Leap Day – An unappealing Amy Adams does not get a wedding proposal from her long time boyfriend.  After 15 minutes, you could see why the guy did not propose.  She goes on a quest to Ireland were surgeon boyfriend is at a conference to propose to him on Leap Day in Dublin.  Everything goes wrong.  I turned it off after 30 minutes deciding that anyone who married this character would truly suffer.  Babe Factor - Amy Adams had such an unappealing character that I did not want to see her.

Lego Batman – Awesome!  A more intense and over the top violent Batman with Legos!  Watch Batman have an orphan take insane risks while he follows rapid fire orders from Batman!  Unfortunately, Batman learns that you need your friends and family to survive.  Everyone should see Batman playing heavy metal guitar to reinforce his awesomeness!  Babe Factor: The best you get is a Lego Harley-Quinn.

A Dog's Purpose – An excellent drama of the journey of a dogs soul.  When one doggy incarnation dies, it transfers to a new puppy.  Lynn and I both cried at one point.  This is an overall positive movie with some very sad parts.  If you love dogs, you will love this movie.  Babe Factor: Not really.

Baywatch – The reviews say it is awful, but that the first 15 minutes are hilarious.  The reviews are right.  The first fifteen minutes comes with 1,000 unnecessary F-bombs and a hilarious "dolphin fountain" in the background when the Rock pulls a guy out of the ocean.  We replayed the scene to capture all of the background insanity and then turned it off.  If you have this on Netflix, well worth watching the first 15 minutes.  Babe Factor: Lots, but the movie is so bad it does not help.

Kong Skull Island – Not bad and not good.  We watched the full movie.  The special effects are great.  Samuel L. Jackson does a wonderful job as a Vietnam officer who is going to get revenge for the deaths of his men.  There is babe eye candy.  This movie would probably be better if viewed as part of a drinking game.  When a particularly inane Vietnam stereotype is shown, everyone takes a drink.  I did not wish for the 2 hours of my life back, but I would not watch this movie again.  Babe Factor: One main character.

Who Gets the Dog? – An older Alecia Silverstone is splitting with her hubby who is pursuing a quest to become a professional hockey player.  They split everything else without rancor, but both want the dog.  The loser hockey guy may have had too many blows to the head for rational decision making.  Neither of them is very appealing.  We turned it off after 20 minutes.  Babe Factor: Nope.  An older Alecia Silverstone does not qualify.

Despicable Me 3: Gru has a brother who has gained fabulous wealth through pig farming.  Gru gets fired from the good-guy spy agency.  His nemesis is an 80s TV child star gone wrong.  This was an enjoyable movie, but Lynn and I grew up in the 80s and caught a lot of the references.  Babe Factor: Only if you yearn for animated Disney babes.

Jason Bourne – Jason has gone underground beating the daylights out of people in illegal cage fights.  He is as happy as Jason can be.  Then an ex-CIA agent gives Jason new information on his mysterious background.  For no apparent reason, the CIA chief Tommy Lee Jones decides that Jason must die.  Jason goes to war against the CIA again.  CIA loses.  A really good action movie as long as you turn the logical parts of your brain off and enjoy the ride.  Much excellent violence.  We would both watch this again, but we love good, clean violence.  Babe Factor: Not really.

Big Sick – This is billed as a "romantic comedy" which is a marketing lie.  This is a drama about a loser immigrant from Pakistan who is a habitual liar trying to pursue a career in standup comedy.  Pakistani guy is told by numerous individuals that he is not funny – they are right.  He dates a girl who finds out Pakistani Guy will get kicked out of his family if he does not marry a Muslim.  She dumps him, then gets really sick.  The father of sick-girl is also scummy.  Very few people in this movie are appealing and there is no logical romance.  Holly Hunter with her heavy Texas accent is supposed to be from North Carolina.  Avoid killing two hours of your mortal existence and skip this.  Babe Factor: Not for me.

Addams Family – Princess put up a bunch of Halloween movies and this was one of them.  I've not watched this in 15 years and it is still a comic masterpiece.  A+  Babe Factor: Angelica Houston as Morticia Addams.

Logan – Wolverine from the X-Men is slowly dying.  Professor X is getting senile but can still use his mind to mess with everyone in a three mile radius.  A new female child Wolverine appears.  Logan tries to hold everything together.  Massive multiple wolverine violence while fleeing the USA.  This is a dark, but well done drama with amazing violence.  Very good movie, but I don't plan to watch this again.  Babe Factor: Nope.

Practical Magic – How about a romantic comedy where all of the male romantic interests are either cardboard cut-outs or are under the influence of a spell.  The female eye candy is outstanding (Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock).  The plot makes no sense.  I think this movie proves that a feminist witch romantic comedy does not work well.  Babe Factor: Excellent.  If you don't like Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock what do you like?

Eddie the Eagle – An ordinary UK boy from a working class family has wanted to be an Olympian since childhood.  He is a daredevil.  He eventually figures out that the UK has not updated the requirements for Olympic Ski-Jumping since the 1920s.  Hugh Jackman is an older, drunk former ski-jumping natural who flaked out.  Loosely based on a true story.  This was a surprise hit with us.  You really want Eddie to go to the Olympics and he eventually gets there and has a blast.  We saw a ski-jumping facility in Norway on a previous trip, and these things are scary almost beyond belief.  Nobody rational would go down one of these monsters.  But Eddie will risk every bone in his body and his life to become an Olympian.  If you have never watched this, you should.  A+  Babe Factor: Not really.

Allied – Set in Morocco during World War 2.  The guy is sent in to whack some Nazis.  The sets are amazing, the acting is very good, the costumes are wonderful.  You felt like you were in Casablanca in 1942.  But the pacing is so slow that we gave it up after 30 minutes.  The movie is probably realistic.  Much spy work is really boring while simultaneously being in danger from discovery and being shot.  If the pace were faster, we would have continued watching.  Babe Factor: One 1942 female spy.

Cars 3 – Another Disney animated movie.  This one focuses on a race car that has become technologically obsolete.  Neither of us care for NASCAR and we found the movie to be boring.  We stopped watching after 20 minutes.  Babe Factor: Animated female car??

Sing – Another animated movie about "ordinary animals" with extraordinary singing talent.  This movie worked for us.  We enjoyed it quite a bit.  If you are interested in singing, pop music, or putting on a show, you will probably like this one.  Babe Factor: Animated female pig and hedgehog??

Spiderman Homecoming – We saw this in the theater and watched it again.  We think this is the best Spiderman movie ever made.  Imagine you have spiderman powers but you are a 15 year old male.  How many 15 year old males have any sense, even if they are really smart?  The movie captures the 1960s era Spiderman perfectly with a movie taking place in 2015.  The villain is Michael Keaton who has a very believable motive that is not 100% evil.  If you like any superhero movie, you should like Spiderman Homecoming.  I'm sure we will buy this one.  Babe Factor: Cute high school girls.

Table 19 – A drama about a group of people invited to a very expensive wedding who are placed in the last table in the back of the room.  Everyone at the table gets to know each other and their problems as the movie progresses.  This was well done, but only one of these characters (the old Nanny) is a positive character.  It has some very funny moments, but is mostly a drama about screwed up people.  Babe Factor: Cute girls in formal dresses at a wedding.

The Queen of Spain – Penelope Cruz is a Spanish Hollywood Star who decides to return to Spain to star as Queen Isabella in a movie backed by Franco's government circa 1947.  Lots of "leftists and commies are good guys with good motives," and "of course Hollywood is a massive force for good against evil Fascists."  Despite this, the movie works.  There is a movie about how epic, big-budget early color movies are made.  There is a movie about a plot to smuggle a guy out of Spain.  The movie is very well acted and there are a lot of funny moments.  There is also drama and spy type stuff.  Surprisingly, the movie worked for both of us and we enjoyed it.  The Penelope Cruz eye candy helped though.  Babe Factor: Classic 1940s-1950s era movie babe scenes. 

[Sir Slash]

They didn't show, "Titanic"?

[bayonetbrant]

Sing – Another animated movie about "ordinary animals" with extraordinary singing talent.  This movie worked for us.  We enjoyed it quite a bit.  If you are interested in singing, pop music, or putting on a show, you will probably like this one.  Babe Factor: Animated female pig and hedgehog??

Took my daughter to see this one in the theater.

The funniest moments are all in the trailer, but the best moment (Johnny singing "I'm Still Standing" in the big show at the end) was worth it.

[airboy]

They didn't show, "Titanic"?

Nope, but the transatlantic flight to Spain did have a 30 minute program of "Honest Trailers" that started out with a reference to "Snakes on a Plane."

[Nefaro]

You never saw Office Space before?!   

Better 18 years late than never!   ;D