Author Topic: Florida deserves its own thread  (Read 46543 times)

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Offline LongBlade

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #45 on: November 10, 2015, 08:08:14 AM »
I see two things going on here.

First, the sheriff who hired him is no dummy:





Second, the officer took Barney's motto too literally and had a few too many nips out of the bottle.


Offline bayonetbrant

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Offline MetalDog

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #47 on: December 03, 2015, 06:39:25 PM »
Shortly after video players in cars started to become prevalent, ten or so years ago, I was driving home one night and got stopped behind a SUV at a red light.  I noticed they had a video screen with something playing on it.  Piqued by the novelty, I tried to make out what was playing on the screen.  Let's just say, I suspect the driver of the car only had one hand on the wheel.  And yes, this was in Florida.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2015, 10:30:26 PM by MetalDog »
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Offline Sir Slash

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #48 on: December 03, 2015, 10:01:30 PM »
Wondering whether it was a Big Mac or a Quarter-Pounder in his hand? There's not a lot to do in Orange County but porno should always be after Mc Donalds not during. Just saying.
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Offline Nefaro

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #49 on: December 04, 2015, 11:48:10 AM »
Wondering whether it was a Big Mac or a Quarter-Pounder in his hand? There's not a lot to do in Orange County but porno should always be after Mc Donalds not during. Just saying.


Hell... he was probably just on his lunch break from working at the Mac Shack. 

Probably didn't wash his hands when he returned, either.

Offline LongBlade

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #50 on: December 07, 2015, 06:58:28 PM »
Quote
A Florida man with a history of drug, gun and theft arrests was allegedly naked, drunk and driving 110 mph with three female passengers when the Florida Highway Patrol caught up to him on Saturday afternoon.

Noe Dejesus, 33, was released Sunday after posting a $6,000 bond, FOX13 reported. He faces charges of DUI and driving without a license.

Dejesus was pulled over just after 3 p.m. following a report of a car driving recklessly on Alligator Alley. The Highway Patrol officer who clocked Dejesus’ speeding Cadillac initially believed the driver was merely shirtless.

But when Dejesus opened the door and stepped out, he was completely naked, police said.

The trooper allegedly spotted an open 12-pack of Corona and a nearly empty bottle of Crown Royal whiskey in the car, according to the Naples Daily News. Dejesus allegedly smelled of alcohol, was slurring his speech and almost fell down trying to put his pants on.

He declined to perform a field sobriety test and was arrested.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/12/07/naked-drunk-man-with-3-female-passengers-was-driving-110mph-cops-say/?intcmp=hplnws

Offline Centurion40

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #51 on: December 08, 2015, 07:53:10 AM »
Wondering whether it was a Big Mac or a Quarter-Pounder in his hand? There's not a lot to do in Orange County but porno should always be after Mc Donalds not during. Just saying.

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Offline bayonetbrant

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Offline LongBlade

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #53 on: December 08, 2015, 09:53:45 AM »


Quote
A suspected burglar jumped in a Florida lake apparently hiding from law enforcement before an 11-foot alligator killed him, investigators said Monday. His hand and foot reportedly turned up inside the animal's stomach.

Brevard County Sheriff's Maj. Tod Goodyear says 22-year-old Matthew Riggins told his girlfriend he would be in Barefoot Bay to commit burglaries with another suspect. Authorities received calls Nov. 13 about two suspicious men in black walking behind homes and investigated. Riggins was reported missing the next day.

Goodyear said sheriff's divers recovered Riggins' body 10 days later in a nearby lake, and that the injuries suggested the alligator had pulled him below the surface. "He hid in the wrong place," resident Laura Farris told Bay News 9.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/12/08/burglary-suspect-hides-in-florida-lake-where-gator-eats-him/?intcmp=hpbt4

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #54 on: December 08, 2015, 10:01:52 AM »
isn't that the same story (different source) that I just gave you?   ::)
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Offline LongBlade

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #55 on: December 08, 2015, 10:40:21 AM »
isn't that the same story (different source) that I just gave you?   ::)

Ah, yes. You beat my by ~ 40 seconds. However, mine has far more detail. Had I simply posted a lame link instead of copying some text, pasting it here, and then finding an appropriate smilie, I'd have been first.

So I started first, and ended better.

Nyah! 

Offline bayonetbrant

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #56 on: December 08, 2015, 10:44:29 AM »
then beat this one...

http://wncn.com/2015/12/08/deputies-man-was-having-sex-while-driving-when-he-hit-killed-bicyclist/

Quote
AUBURNDALE, Fla. (WFLA) –  The tragic case of a bicyclist killed in a hit and run crash in Polk County on Saturday took a bizarre turn when deputies arrested the suspect.

Polk County Sheriff’s Office detectives said the hit-and-run driver told them he was distracted by his female passenger, who was performing oral sex on him when he hit the bicyclist.

It happened just before 7 p.m. on U.S. Highway 92 West near Payne Street in Auburndale. Investigators say Terry Lamunt Ross was riding his bicycle east on the westbound shoulder of U.S. 92. A green Ford F-250 hit him almost head on. Ross was knocked off his bicycle, his body hit the truck and landed on the shoulder of the road. He died at the scene. The driver of the truck left the scene.

A witness in a passing car saw the crash. She asked her dad to follow the truck and write down its tag number while she called 911. After calling 911, the pair drove back to the crash scene to help Ross.

The witness stayed at the scene and gave Polk Sheriff’s Office deputies a detailed description about the crash, the suspect and his truck. With her help, the deputies identified the truck and its owner. When deputies found the truck, they saw the damage on it was consistent with the crash. Deputies questioned the truck’s driver, Randy Joe Allen, 54, who they found at the Liquid Larry’s Bar.

Allen told deputies he had been at a different bar earlier and left with a woman. Detectives said he was slurring his words and smelled of alcohol when they spoke with him. He allegedly said he was driving and remembered hitting something with the side of his car, but he thought it was a stop sign or a guardrail. He told the detectives he had been distracted by his passenger.

Detectives found his passenger, a young woman staying at a motel in Winter Haven. She confirmed that she had drinks with Allen and left in his car. She told detectives she was performing oral sex on Allen when she heard a bump. Allen told her it was a stop sign. She told deputies she had no reason not to believe him.

Detectives confirmed that Allen was driving the truck when the crash happened. They arrested him on a charge of leaving the scene of a deadly crash. Other charges are pending the results of the blood draw analysis.

Allen has seven prior arrests in Polk County including a DUI, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office.
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"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #57 on: December 08, 2015, 09:29:33 PM »
That's what I call a real Blow-By-Blow Police Report. I've found that if you wedge the steering  wheel against the back of her head, the vehicle will go straight and you won't have to worry about running off the road. The Tilt Steering Wheel is one of mankind's greatest inventions.
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Offline Centurion40

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #58 on: December 09, 2015, 06:17:54 AM »
Quote
The Tilt Steering Wheel is one of mankind's greatest inventions.

Quote of the week!
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Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Florida deserves its own thread
« Reply #59 on: December 09, 2015, 06:31:55 AM »
"What are serial killer instructions?"  :P ::)
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