Florida deserves its own thread

[LongBlade]

Star, we're going to need an alibi.

Authorities say the body of a woman was found along with two live monkeys in a hotel room in southwest Florida.

North Port city spokesman Josh Taylor says 59-year-old Linda Marie Smith of Arcadia was found dead Friday at the Budget Inn.


<snip>

Taylor says police plan to interview a man who also had been found incoherent in the room. The man hasn't been identified.

source: http://www.clickorlando.com/news/body-of-woman-2-live-monkeys-found-in-florida-hotel-room

[Staggerwing]

Looks like we will need to add a stretch goal for springing Star to to Mirth's Get-Out-Of-Jail Kickstarter.

[Sir Slash]

Arcadia's where I live.  :o  Nobody said anything about a woman or monkeys missing from here. We keep very close watch on our monkeys. Our women... not so much. Could have been she already had one foot on a banana peel.  :P

[MetalDog]

No need to worry Slash.  It happened in the metropolis of North Port.

[LongBlade]

A 55-year-old woman in Port St. Lucie, Florida, was arrested earlier this month for domestic battery after allegedly attacking her husband for farting in bed, according to WPTV.com.

The flatulence flap occurred around 3:20 a.m. on Dec. 11 at the home of Dawn Meikle, according to police records.

Meikle's husband told police that she started elbowing him when he passed gas.

"Dawn began kicking him and eventually kicked him out of their bed," according to an affidavit obtained by TCPalm.com.

The husband waited a few moments to clear the air (so to speak) before getting back in bed again.

After another butt trumpet, the man said his wife started elbowing and kicking him again, according to the website.

After a scuffle, Dawn Meikle told police she ran to the bathroom to call 911. She discharged a canister of pepper spray in the bedroom, according to the Miami Herald.

source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/florida-woman-dawn-meikle-attacks-husband-for-farting-in-bed-police-say_us_567990d4e4b0b958f6582c2a

[BanzaiCat]

Hopefully they charge her with wasting 911 resources, too.

[bayonetbrant]

http://wncn.com/2016/02/09/fla-man-charged-with-tossing-alligator-through-wendys-drive-thru/

[LongBlade]

http://wncn.com/2016/02/09/fla-man-charged-with-tossing-alligator-through-wendys-drive-thru/

Maybe Wendy's was so busy they were swamped.

[Sir Slash]

Here in Fla. it's legal to carry your alligator into an establishment as long as it's on a leash and is listed as a "Dependent" on your 1040A. Throwing them has never been legal or considered socially acceptable except on 4th of July and Redneck New Year's Day, which is always also their birthday because it's the only two dates they can remember. In this case neither applied and thus he was charged. BTW Alligators are surprisingly aerodynamic and can be thrown into a strong head-wind and carry quite far if you can get them to spiral, which isn't easy because they are very tail-heavy. And they LOVE Wendy's.

[Nefaro]

BTW Alligators are surprisingly aerodynamic and can be thrown into a strong head-wind and carry quite far if you can get them to spiral, which isn't easy because they are very tail-heavy. And they LOVE Wendy's.

They also love the juicy people inside Wendy's.   ^-^

[bayonetbrant]

http://wncn.com/2016/02/10/teen-fatally-shoots-cousin-after-losing-balance-on-hoverboard-officials-say/

[Sir Slash]

Very sad.

[LongBlade]

I wonder if we need to send Star some band-aids?

After discovering a dildo among her husband's belongings during a move Wednesday night, the Florida woman attacked her spouse, leaving him with bruises and scratches on his face, according to cops who arrested Chao for domestic battery.

As detailed in court records, the 48-year-old Chao and Joshua Sinclair, who have been married for just over a year, were driving to a new residence in Sarasota when Gao confronted Sinclair about the sex toy she discovered.

In a police statement, Sinclair wrote that Gao became furious upon learning from him that "a dildo she found was actually for me to use."

Oh, and the accused is quite the looker:



source: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/wife-batters-husband-over-sex-toy-263478

[Sir Slash]

Her name is Chao but I wouldn't eat her. Not even with hot sauce.

[BanzaiCat]

Looks like a dude from a Kung Fu B-movie.