Duffel Blog Staff Duty Log

Started by bayonetbrant, April 26, 2013, 09:26:53 PM

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bayonetbrant

April 26, 2013, 09:26:53 PM
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

for anyone who has ever pulled SDO/SDNCO, you will hurt your spleen laughing at these.


Quote1534: CSM spots a group of privates with 2 floor buffers taking turns rising them rodeo style wearing Kevlar helmets.
Yells at them for not wearing PT belts.

not to be outdone...

Quote2137 - Privates Jones, Doe and Sanchez transported to Troop Medical Clinic with broken bones, bruises, internal injuries and severe lacerations. While performing non judicial company level punishment, privates decide to hold 1st annual buffer rodeo in 2nd platoon latrine. Private Jones had been riding on buffer #2 (Hereafter known as"El Diablo") for a record 27 seconds when something went awry. Jones and "El Diablo" charged straight towards Private Doe. In his terror Doe fled backwards smashing into Sanchez causing both to lose their footing on the stripper covered wet floor. Jones began laughing so hard he feel off the buffer wedging the handle between sinks 1 and 2 in the latrine. The power handle was still depressed as the buffer swung back and forth wildly striking Jones, Doe and Sanchez causing said broken bones and internal injuries. Sanchez tried to stop "El Diablo" but slipped again his chin hitting the floor rendering him incapacitated. "El Diablo" broke free and pinned Doe against commode #1. SDNCO contacting B Co 1SG.

Quote0330- doc called to room for possible loss of consciousness but senior lance corporals decided to tape new marines in between two mattresses and throw them off the second floor.

Quote2300: Lost LT from different post conducts SDO checks

QuotePFC Smith pinned under vending machine after rockin it back and forth to get his Snickers. Action taken: Logged.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

GDS_Starfury

#1
April 26, 2013, 09:32:14 PM
how did you miss this:

Quote0230 Chaplin on deck said something about craigslist and is currently in Pfc Schmukatellis room, lights are off.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

bayonetbrant

#2
April 26, 2013, 09:35:16 PM
I wasn't posting them all - I needed to give y'all some to discover.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#3
April 26, 2016, 06:16:38 AM
This popped up in my FaceBook "on this day" feed today...  still f'n hilarious
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

besilarius

#4
April 26, 2016, 06:50:09 AM
This is gold.  Thanks for posting, Brant.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.
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