Author Topic: More Pix For A Laugh  (Read 1931270 times)

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Offline Steelgrave

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15405 on: October 11, 2019, 02:30:30 PM »
Do they sell it in Magnums or is that only champagne?   :dreamer:

Offline Windigo

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15406 on: October 11, 2019, 03:22:29 PM »
It's getting very difficult in the wine business to be distinctive.
Anything to stand up in a crowd.

When you remove all the non-Kosher parts from Wine to get Kosher Wine, this is the result. :P

wut the hell is unkosher-ish in wine?
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

Offline besilarius

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15407 on: October 11, 2019, 07:18:58 PM »
Speaking of Kosher.
Buddy Hackett told the story of how kosher got him arrested.
His wife was a strict Jew and had two sets of silverware - one for meat and one for dairy.  You cannot mix them and stay kosher.
Buddy came home late from a show about 2AM and decided to fix a snack.  He grabbed the nearest knife, which happened to be from the meat set.
He used it to put some jelly on a bagel.  This is borderline, but not dairy so was accepted.  Then he put some cream cheese on the bagel.  This is definitely wrong, and of course his wife came down at this point.  "What are you doing using the meat knife on dairy?!?"
Long story short, to cleanse the knife from his sacrilege, it must be buried for like six weeks.  Since his wife was on the warpath, he went out and started digging a hole in his front yard. 
Soon, the patrol cop, Mike stopped.  Whatcha doing, Buddy?  As he looked at a knife smeared with red jelly and cream cheese,  which the homeowner was trying to bury.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline Tpek

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15408 on: October 13, 2019, 07:31:46 AM »
It's getting very difficult in the wine business to be distinctive.
Anything to stand up in a crowd.

When you remove all the non-Kosher parts from Wine to get Kosher Wine, this is the result. :P

wut the hell is unkosher-ish in wine?

The wine was named 4Skins or such, so removing the foreskin (circumcision) would "make it kosher". :P

Joke aside, according to the dietary laws in Judaism a wine has to be made with certain standards and made by Jews for it to be considered Kosher.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15409 on: October 13, 2019, 09:09:02 PM »
Good luck trying that on a first date, "Hey Baby. Let me put a little of my 4skins in your glass for you to sip on".  :hide: 
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline besilarius

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15410 on: October 20, 2019, 09:38:03 AM »
This deserves a tip.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15411 on: October 20, 2019, 02:33:09 PM »
 :2funny:
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline besilarius

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15412 on: October 22, 2019, 05:44:21 AM »
Politics makes strange bedfellows.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline Tpek

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15413 on: October 22, 2019, 06:49:52 AM »
Politics makes strange bedfellows.

 :D

Maybe, but then again every campaign video of his will be a rick-roll.

Offline W8taminute

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15414 on: October 22, 2019, 09:04:49 AM »
^^Awesome.

My vote goes to Rick Astley  ;D
We battle not against flesh and blood...

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15415 on: October 22, 2019, 09:11:33 AM »
That could catch-on.  :clap:
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline bobarossa

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15416 on: November 10, 2019, 11:23:50 AM »
Cthulhu explains itself.

http://existentialcomics.com/comic/314

Mouseover at the site reads "Besides, what are you so mad about? It's not like you weren't going to destroy yourselves in the next hundreds years or so anyway."

Offline besilarius

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15417 on: November 19, 2019, 02:09:32 PM »
Bill Gates must be gnashing his teeth.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline W8taminute

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15418 on: November 21, 2019, 08:24:34 AM »
^I wonder if that Apple Device is priced around the 1000 dollar mark?
We battle not against flesh and blood...

Offline besilarius

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Re: More Pix For A Laugh
« Reply #15419 on: December 05, 2019, 07:28:32 AM »
Everything I believe in has been shattered.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.