More Pix For A Laugh

Started by bayonetbrant, January 16, 2013, 05:16:22 PM

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Steelgrave

Do they sell it in Magnums or is that only champagne?   :dreamer:

Windigo

Quote from: Tpek on August 24, 2019, 12:12:12 PM
Quote from: besilarius on August 24, 2019, 06:57:16 AM
It's getting very difficult in the wine business to be distinctive.
Anything to stand up in a crowd.

When you remove all the non-Kosher parts from Wine to get Kosher Wine, this is the result. :P

wut the hell is unkosher-ish in wine?
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

besilarius

Speaking of Kosher.
Buddy Hackett told the story of how kosher got him arrested.
His wife was a strict Jew and had two sets of silverware - one for meat and one for dairy.  You cannot mix them and stay kosher.
Buddy came home late from a show about 2AM and decided to fix a snack.  He grabbed the nearest knife, which happened to be from the meat set.
He used it to put some jelly on a bagel.  This is borderline, but not dairy so was accepted.  Then he put some cream cheese on the bagel.  This is definitely wrong, and of course his wife came down at this point.  "What are you doing using the meat knife on dairy?!?"
Long story short, to cleanse the knife from his sacrilege, it must be buried for like six weeks.  Since his wife was on the warpath, he went out and started digging a hole in his front yard. 
Soon, the patrol cop, Mike stopped.  Whatcha doing, Buddy?  As he looked at a knife smeared with red jelly and cream cheese,  which the homeowner was trying to bury.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Tpek

Quote from: Windigo on October 11, 2019, 04:22:29 PM
Quote from: Tpek on August 24, 2019, 12:12:12 PM
Quote from: besilarius on August 24, 2019, 06:57:16 AM
It's getting very difficult in the wine business to be distinctive.
Anything to stand up in a crowd.

When you remove all the non-Kosher parts from Wine to get Kosher Wine, this is the result. :P

wut the hell is unkosher-ish in wine?

The wine was named 4Skins or such, so removing the foreskin (circumcision) would "make it kosher". :P

Joke aside, according to the dietary laws in Judaism a wine has to be made with certain standards and made by Jews for it to be considered Kosher.

Sir Slash

Good luck trying that on a first date, "Hey Baby. Let me put a little of my 4skins in your glass for you to sip on".  :hide: 
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

besilarius

"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Sir Slash

"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

besilarius

Politics makes strange bedfellows.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Tpek

Quote from: besilarius on October 22, 2019, 06:44:21 AM
Politics makes strange bedfellows.

:D

Maybe, but then again every campaign video of his will be a rick-roll.

W8taminute

^^Awesome.

My vote goes to Rick Astley  ;D
"You and I are of a kind. In a different reality, I could have called you friend."

Romulan Commander to Kirk

Sir Slash

That could catch-on.  :clap:
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

bobarossa

Cthulhu explains itself.

http://existentialcomics.com/comic/314

Mouseover at the site reads "Besides, what are you so mad about? It's not like you weren't going to destroy yourselves in the next hundreds years or so anyway."

besilarius

Bill Gates must be gnashing his teeth.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

W8taminute

^I wonder if that Apple Device is priced around the 1000 dollar mark?
"You and I are of a kind. In a different reality, I could have called you friend."

Romulan Commander to Kirk

besilarius

Everything I believe in has been shattered.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.