More Pix For A Laugh

Started by bayonetbrant, January 16, 2013, 05:16:22 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 11 Guests are viewing this topic.

Print
Go Down Pages 1 ... 600 601 602 603 604 ... 1056
User actions

undercovergeek

#9015
September 13, 2015, 02:07:52 PM
I don't know if you have them there but that picture is missing the justice warrior we have over here that pulls out into the lane but drives at the same speed as traffic to prevent people passing and cutting in

The most fun I had as a teenage driver was cutting in behind the justice warrior and taking his space - the guy went insane and tried to get out of his car mid traffic to come and shout at me

Nefaro

#9016
September 13, 2015, 05:53:04 PM
I rode shotgun with a roommate once, many years ago when we were prone to much more road rage, which left me with a vivid memory.

I actually saw a senior, who was so olde I'm justified spelling it with an 'E' on the end, giving us the bird so aggressively I thought he was going to stroke right then and there.  One of those olde mummies who are so shrunken & shrivelled that they can only see through the small gap between the steering wheel and dashboard.   I wondered if someone had now created undead which could drive a car.

As you can imagine, he was going far too slow and doing a terrible job of picking a lane on the highway, almost causing a couple collisions when we were attempting to pass him.  I'm not sure if it was his physical inability to utilize him limbs & properly operate the vehicle, or his legal blindness, but it was a frustrating situation.  We rode his ass so close, we could smell the exhaust fumes from next week's fill-up at whichever gas station was closest to his home cemetery. 

Dude was shaking his middle finger at us so hard, as we finally passed him, that he was striking his own window with his shaking palsied hand.  I think he was still doing that long after we were past.  Scary thing is.. he was so blind and/or undead that he never looked at us.  Just kept staring straight through the steering wheel, the hand with the middle finger the only part moving, and just the crown of his wrinkled head visible in the car window. 

LongBlade

#9017
September 13, 2015, 07:51:46 PM
Quote from: Nefaro on September 13, 2015, 05:53:04 PM
and just the crown of his wrinkled head visible in the car window.

Are you sure it wasn't Gus?
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Ubercat

#9018
September 13, 2015, 10:28:14 PM
My favorite Jesus pic is the one where the bank teller is counting money for a customer getting a withdrawal. Jesus is behind her, saying "12, 13, 14, 37,38, 53, 54, 55..." She says "STFU, Jesus."
"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labelled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today."

- Thomas Sowell

bayonetbrant

#9019
September 14, 2015, 05:08:21 AM
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#9020
September 14, 2015, 05:09:10 AM
in the interest of not pissing people off too much in what's supposed to be a pretty innocuous chuckle-thread, let's try to cut down on the Jesus jokes here, and maybe relocate them to RPFW.  Thanks.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

besilarius

#9021
September 14, 2015, 06:38:47 AM
Canadian bathroom graffiti.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Barthheart

#9022
September 14, 2015, 07:11:13 AM
Yeah... sorry about that.

mirth

#9023
September 14, 2015, 08:02:23 AM
Quote from: Barthheart on September 14, 2015, 07:11:13 AM
Yeah... sorry about that.

Burn in hell, you heathen  >:D
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

JasonPratt

#9024
September 14, 2015, 02:26:24 PM
Fwiw, I saw the "No way" meme last week and laughed pretty hard then.  O0
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

besilarius

#9025
September 14, 2015, 05:51:47 PM
This can't end well.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

undercovergeek

#9026
September 14, 2015, 05:54:54 PM
this happened in the restaurant last week - and for the curious amongst us, i have proved water conducts electricity because like a twat i decided to see if the wires were live whilst standing in the puddle

bayonetbrant

#9027
September 14, 2015, 06:09:59 PM
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

LongBlade

#9028
September 14, 2015, 06:25:15 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 14, 2015, 05:54:54 PM
this happened in the restaurant last week - and for the curious amongst us, i have proved water conducts electricity because like a twat i decided to see if the wires were live whilst standing in the puddle

Well done!

For an encore are you going to leave the gas on and wait a few minutes before attempting to light it?
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

MetalDog

#9029
September 14, 2015, 06:51:49 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on September 14, 2015, 06:25:15 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on September 14, 2015, 05:54:54 PM
this happened in the restaurant last week - and for the curious amongst us, i have proved water conducts electricity because like a twat i decided to see if the wires were live whilst standing in the puddle

Well done!

For an encore are you going to leave the gas on and wait a few minutes before attempting to light it?

Almost found that out, too, 'geek.  The hose that carries water from the washing machine got loose from it's pipe Sunday and started spilling water all over the floor.  I ran to see what was the matter and, without thinking, grabbed the hose to stuff back into the pipe.  It didn't occur to me until I had already started the process that I was standing in water, next to an electric outlet with a hose gushing water in my hand.  Alls well that ends well :)
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob
Print
Go Up Pages 1 ... 600 601 602 603 604 ... 1056
User actions