More Pix For A Laugh

[bayonetbrant]

can we shift gears to other jokes?

[bob48]

So, you don't want to cycle through these puns first?

[Windigo]

So, you don't want to cycle through these puns first?

Don't you mean perambulate?

[bob48]

We'll do them in tandem.

[undercovergeek]

What is heaven? What is hell? The parable of the Long Spoons explains very well what heaven and hell truly are.

One day a man said to God, "God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

God showed the man two doors. Inside the first one, in the middle of the room, was a large round table with a large pot of stew. It smelled delicious and made the man's mouth water, but the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, "These assholes told puns on the groghead forum'

[Sir Slash]

That certainly is an awful pun-ishment. Kind of a Pun-gatory of suffering souls. I guess there's such a thing as being TOO creative. 

[mirth]

[bob48]

What is heaven? What is hell? The parable of the Long Spoons explains very well what heaven and hell truly are.

One day a man said to God, "God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

God showed the man two doors. Inside the first one, in the middle of the room, was a large round table with a large pot of stew. It smelled delicious and made the man's mouth water, but the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, "These assholes told puns on the groghead forum'

So...what was hell like?

[Sir Slash]

That's the Bawb we all know and 

[Staggerwing]

So, you don't want to cycle through these puns first?

Oh well... in for a penny, in for a farthing...

[besilarius]

Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell were inspecting the Naval Academy's Dairy plant in Annapolis, Md.
In a terrible accident, they were both killed.  They didn't realise the cow was ticklish.
Waking up, the found themselves in a dark entrance hall.  A dot of flame appeared and as it moved, they found themselves pulled along with no ability to resist.  Following the flame through numerous corridors until a door opened.  Inside was a broken radio that only played Buck Owens country music, and a crabby troup of cubscouts merrily tearing everything to pieces.
A voice thundered, "Paul Ryan!!  You have sinned!  For all eternity, you will spend your days in this room!"
"No."  he screamed.  "Not that.  I'll be good!  I'm sorry!"
And the door slammed shut, muffling his cries of terror.  The flame bobbed in amusement.
Then it began to move down a corridor, pulling Mitch McConnel.
"Oh God."  thought McConnell.  "I haven't been that bad.  I don't deserve such punishment.  Please release me!"
But the flame continued.
Finally, he came to a door.  It opened and he couldn't help moving inside.
There was a sumptuous bed with silk coverings.  The room had gorgeous fixtures and was every man's idea of a boudoir.
Suddenly, another door opened, and a beautiful woman walked in.  She was gorgeous and luscious and a real wet dream.  McConnell's mouth dropped, "What is happening?" he wondered.
Then he recognized the woman, it was...it was Scarlet Johanson! 
And a loud voice boomed, "Scarlet Johanson, you have SINNED!"

[Barthheart]

[Barthheart]

[Windigo]

I wonder if the guy ever realized that he should have listened to the dog....

[OJsDad]

I think you guys have it backwards.  The dog was hers before he came along.