Meanwhile...in Florida

Started by LongBlade, July 13, 2015, 05:58:24 PM

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LongBlade

July 13, 2015, 05:58:24 PM
By now we should be used to weird news coming out of the Land of Star. Yet sometimes we still are surprised.

QuoteAfter the women tussled over possession of a dress, Officer Eric Blomgren directed Kielhurn not to touch the 47-year-old Capaner-Ridley. However, "Shortly afterwards the defendant intentionally shoved a 'dildo' in the victim's face and grabbed her right arm while arguing whose it belonged to," Blomgren reported.

As a result, the cop arrested Kielhurn for domestic battery. An arrest affidavit does not indicate whether the dildo was seized as evidence.

source: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/woman-busted-for-dildo-battering-786902
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

besilarius

#1
July 13, 2015, 06:19:26 PM
Damn!
They've revealed a major plot device in next season's Game of Thrones.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

LongBlade

#2
July 13, 2015, 06:46:00 PM
Quote from: besilarius on July 13, 2015, 06:19:26 PM
Damn!
They've revealed a major plot device in next season's Game of Thrones.

I've got some leaked footage of that...

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Ubercat

#3
July 13, 2015, 07:35:59 PM
Geez. What original video was THAT made from?
"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labelled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today."

- Thomas Sowell

LongBlade

#4
July 13, 2015, 08:12:54 PM
Quote from: Ubercat on July 13, 2015, 07:35:59 PM
Geez. What original video was THAT made from?

Weekend at Gus' Part IV
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Nefaro

#5
July 13, 2015, 09:26:05 PM
Another episode of, "It Came From The Florida Triangle"?

Centurion40

#6
July 14, 2015, 07:50:48 AM
Quote from: besilarius on July 13, 2015, 06:19:26 PM
Damn!
They've revealed a major plot device in next season's Game of Thrones.

More like Orange is the New Black
Any time is a good time for pie.

LongBlade

#7
August 01, 2015, 05:29:23 PM
QuoteA Florida man attempted to chew off his fingerprints while in a patrol car to avoid being identified by the police.

On Thursday, Lee County Sheriff detectives noticed a 2015 Mercedes that had been reported stolen and after stopping the vehicle, they found the driver, Kenzo Roberts, was using a fake ID, had a concealed firearm and possessed three fraudulent credit cards.

Surveillance video shows Roberts unsuccessfully trying to bite off his own fingerprints while in the backseat of the patrol car. Lee County Sheriff officials say Roberts has two felony warrants for his arrest for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

source: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/08/01/man-tries-chew-off-fingerprints-after-arrest/30986003/
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Gusington

#8
August 01, 2015, 07:16:43 PM
Part Vi, actually
✡

слава Україна!

We can't live under the threat of a c*nt because he's threatening nuclear Armageddon.

-JudgeDredd

LongBlade

#9
August 03, 2015, 03:07:32 PM
Ah, the finger-lickin-good bandit turns out to be an illegal alien, too. (Jamaican, mon)

http://dailycaller.com/2015/08/03/illegal-alien-attempts-to-chew-off-fingerprints-after-arrest/
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
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