Consolidated Thread of All Things Joke-like :)

[Staggerwing]

A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: "Hello, I'd like a beer." The barman replies: "Hello, you'd like a beer?" "Yes," replies the TCP packet, "I'd like a beer."

Nice.

I don't get it. Shouldn't they shake hands first?

[Bison]

Hmm...I don't get it.  My computer knowledge about such things is limited and shit.

[LongBlade]

Stagger is correct - they should have shaken hands first.

[LongBlade]

Hmm...I don't get it.  My computer knowledge about such things is limited and shit.

Whenever you connect to the interwebs it the communication is done by sending data "packets." These packets are wrapped in layers, sorta like an onion.

The purpose of the TCP layer is to confirm that the rest of the data has been both sent and received. So, in essence, it walks into another computer and announces it's there. The other PC responds by confirming it sees the TCP packet, and then the TCP packet acknowledges the PC see it and has accepted the data.

If that's too confusing then just think of the internet like magic.

[Bison]

If that's too confusing then just think of the internet like magic.

Done.  I love the magical lands of the interwebs.

[mirth]

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.' She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do a about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.' The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!' 'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.' The nun says, 'That's OK...... My name is Gary and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

[LongBlade]

Saw that coming.

[bob48]

^....as the nun said to the taxi driver.............

[GDS_Starfury]

How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat?........



she fits into your wife's clothes....

[Steelgrave]

How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat?........



she fits into your wife's clothes....

ZING!!! That's one I won't be sharing with my wife, lol!

[bayonetbrant]

"Hey, baby, you should smile more. And/or don't." --Schrodinger's Cat-call

[BanzaiCat]

A Higgs-Boson particle walks into a church.

The priest says, "Uh, excuse me, but we do not allow your kind in here."

The Higgs-Boson particle replies, "Well, without me, you can't have mass."

[Barthheart]

A Higgs-Boson particle walks into a church.

The priest says, "Uh, excuse me, but we do not allow your kind in here."

The Higgs-Boson particle replies, "Well, without me, you can't have mass."

(psssst... it's the Higgs FIELD that imparts mass... not the boson.)
;)

[BanzaiCat]

Dammit!

I was imparting a joke that Neil Degrasse Tyson said on Opie Radio this morning...I was afraid I might have heard it wrong. But it's good that someone who knows what they're talking about can make it right.  O0

[bayonetbrant]

A Higgs-Boson particle walks into a church.

The priest says, "Uh, excuse me, but we do not allow your kind in here."

The Higgs-Boson particle replies, "Well, without me, you can't have mass."

http://grogheads.com/forums/index.php?topic=61.msg242903#msg242903
#18 ;)