To all our American pals - have a good celebration weekend - you've earned it. O0
Explosives, Liquor, and Barbecue.
What's not to enjoy?
Thank you, JD. No hard feelings.
'Murica!
Thanks, JD! Happy 4th, fellow Grogs!!
Thanks JD! Here's to successful rebellions! :)
Only last year I could have been looking forward to celebrating my own country's independence.
Perhaps next time we should chuck tea into the Clyde (a river through Glasgow) :P
Jumping the gun! Maybe it's the 4th already in JD land. On this side of the pond that is manyana.
Whatever, happy 4th neighbors. May you land be fertile, your women lovely, and your bills small.
It was literally just gone midnight when I posted - so I jumped no gun.
Blame the time zone bollox :P
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But JD, weren't you supposed to post this? ^-^
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable David Cameron, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
JD if it's any consolation I named my new dog Clyde in honor of your river.
Quote from: JudgeDredd on July 03, 2015, 06:23:18 PM
Only last year I could have been looking forward to celebrating my own country's independence.
Perhaps next time we should chuck tea into the Clyde (a river through Glasgow) :P
You'd have to convince a Jock to throw something away though so there's that plan scotched.
Happy independence day 'muricans, from the loyal son of the Empire up north.
Boyer threw this up on FB
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11052483_707415992703728_6390904497894135153_n.jpg?oh=054675d1d6369e5299ea932f79c0d44c&oe=56315C09)
ha!
To celebrate the 4th, I'm doing exactly squat. No family in town, nothing to do otherwise except...gaming. Or napping. I'm surprised the rednecks around me haven't started their version of Stalingrad yet.
No big plans here either. Hanging out with some friends tomorrow. That's about it.
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 03, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Boyer threw this up on FB
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11052483_707415992703728_6390904497894135153_n.jpg?oh=054675d1d6369e5299ea932f79c0d44c&oe=56315C09)
The Brits can't actually complain. It was Englishmen rebelling against England affair all :)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2Ffxxutg.jpg&hash=39525038229a65cf58d5c54dab0a6f9a1bc2f84c)
Have a safe and happy 4th of July everyone.
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1145.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo513%2FOJsDad%2FUntitled.jpg&hash=cbfeafb678884743f20590bc4b353ca607a1ae04)
Quote
Ramsey: Up the rebels.
Goff: Down the British.
Quote from: Greybriar on July 03, 2015, 09:37:49 PMHave a safe and happy 4th of July everyone.
that's a fine sentiment, but let's face it - there's a few guys around here for whom that's an either/or proposition :D
Why do I feel like you were looking in my direction?
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 03, 2015, 10:18:31 PM
Quote from: Greybriar on July 03, 2015, 09:37:49 PMHave a safe and happy 4th of July everyone.
that's a fine sentiment, but let's face it - there's a few guys around here for whom that's an either/or proposition :D
That could cover a lot of ground--driving drunk, having bottle rocket / roman candle duels, etc. Thankfully I'm a little saner than I was in my younger days. O:-)
Quote from: mirth on July 03, 2015, 10:21:47 PM
Why do I feel like you were looking in my direction?
no one named names
I'm shooting for happy.
Safe never seemed very realistic.
Quote from: bbmike on July 03, 2015, 07:40:34 PM
But JD, weren't you supposed to post this? ^-^
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable David Cameron, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
Did you make that up? That is hilarious!! :2funny:
Quote from: Gusington on July 03, 2015, 07:53:16 PM
JD if it's any consolation I named my new dog Clyde in honor of your river.
Is it dirty and smelly too? :D
Quote from: JudgeDredd on July 03, 2015, 06:01:55 PM
To all our American pals - have a good celebration weekend - you've earned it. O0
+100. Have a spiffingly good day chaps.
Quote from: JudgeDredd on July 04, 2015, 04:27:30 AM
Did you make that up? That is hilarious!! :2funny:
that's been circulating in various forms since at least when the Bush-Gore result went to the Supreme Court
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 04, 2015, 06:36:03 AM
Quote from: JudgeDredd on July 04, 2015, 04:27:30 AM
Did you make that up? That is hilarious!! :2funny:
that's been circulating in various forms since at least when the Bush-Gore result went to the Supreme Court
Yeah, legend has it that John Cleese wrote it but he didn't. Still funny though!
They say it will rain during the Capital Fourth tonight.
Some professional work during a July 4 rain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ntc7dV4IE6Q
And now for the Groghead chorus: http://www.loc.gov/jukebox/recordings/detail/id/6580/
Happy Independence Day/4th of July to you Americans!
Happy independence day folks!
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11693978_10207345400098819_8621840549107712844_n.jpg?oh=259ae69de1ef7ab0c08408b97fc4905c&oe=562EE19E)
The Prowler is such a sexy aircraft!
Quote from: JudgeDredd on July 04, 2015, 12:02:16 PM
The Prowler is such a sexy aircraft!
It was officially retired last week.
I have no doubt the EA-18G Growler is an awesome piece of kit...but not the beauty the Prowler is/was.
Wishing everyone a safe and happy 4th of July!
pfffffft, dirty rebels
youd have lost if it wasnt for mel gibson
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 04, 2015, 02:47:06 PM
pfffffft, dirty rebels
youd have lost if it wasnt for mel gibson
Well, he
was born in the USA, specifically on Long Island, after all...
Al Pachino and Annie Lennox helped out as well:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089913/?ref_=tttr_tr_tt (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089913/?ref_=tttr_tr_tt)
^ Well there you go. I never knew Annie Lennox starred in a film!
Shame about the Prowler. Another beauty bites the dust (Tomcat being my other love)
Quote from: Staggerwing on July 04, 2015, 03:15:12 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 04, 2015, 02:47:06 PM
pfffffft, dirty rebels
youd have lost if it wasnt for mel gibson
Well, he was born in the USA, specifically on Long Island, after all...
Al Pachino and Annie Lennox helped out as well:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089913/?ref_=tttr_tr_tt (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089913/?ref_=tttr_tr_tt)
he looks like Rambo's saner brother
Happy Birthday America!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl472%2FAndrewDupy%2Fgeorge_warshington_by_sharpwriter-d8uigwg_zpsd9sqrcd1.jpg&hash=065e53ea4b05c97d943a428d460f82781e137ef1) (http://s331.photobucket.com/user/AndrewDupy/media/george_warshington_by_sharpwriter-d8uigwg_zpsd9sqrcd1.jpg.html)
Image courtesy of Jason Heuser (http://sharpwriter.deviantart.com/). Check his page out.
For Jarhead
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/11692490_691145701016194_8018445279726979066_n.jpg?oh=7fad055c23c1b785113f4a184315d84a&oe=5618377E)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11144985_10205509200304200_3220486361261953363_n.jpg?oh=c05031389311e892229937757efb7be9&oe=5615EB28)
^Does that include Crispus Attucks-Clinton?
JD the new pup is a bit dirty and smelly! Clyde fits :)
Quote from: Gusington on July 04, 2015, 06:00:54 PM
^Does that include Crispus Attucks-Clinton?
Did someone say Clinton?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl472%2FAndrewDupy%2Fbill_clinton_the_lady_killer_by_sharpwriter-d5wx11h_zpsswbdrblm.jpg&hash=9bc377bb6ae47152f75ecb393a2e41e89b843b98) (http://s331.photobucket.com/user/AndrewDupy/media/bill_clinton_the_lady_killer_by_sharpwriter-d5wx11h_zpsswbdrblm.jpg.html)
Again, props to Jason Heuser's art.
Ronald w/ the shotty in the background... :))
I just got back with the family from the concert/fireworks display at Trophy Point here at West Point. Man, what a view. As the light was fading over the Hudson we could see about five fireworks shows up and down the valley, to the tunes of patriotic music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, kids running everywhere. I'd forgotten how beautiful this place is. Last time I was at this show I was just starting my military career. Tonight I was watching the USMA Class of 2019 starting their journey. Inspiring. Hope everyone's 4th was as great!
Sounds like an awesome time, AR! Glad you enjoyed :)
And this year's 4th of July Darwin Award goes to...
http://www.pressherald.com/2015/07/05/calais-man-dies-after-setting-off-fireworks-from-atop-his-head/ (http://www.pressherald.com/2015/07/05/calais-man-dies-after-setting-off-fireworks-from-atop-his-head/)
AR did you see me waving back at you from 10 miles to the north?
Quote from: Gusington on July 05, 2015, 01:06:27 PM
AR did you see me waving back at you from 10 miles to the north?
I was looking, but I think a low stone wall or something may have obstructed my line of sight O:-)
Seriously though, if you wanted to come up for the event next year I'll reserve the plot of grass at the amphitheater and keep a parking spot open at the house.
Thanks man. Last night I was basically a zombie after driving 400 miles to pick up our new dog. I was attempting to hide from the crowds of annoyances that had invaded our town and succeeded for the most part.
I have been to USMA for 4th of July (my father in law is a USAR Colonel - his favorite is the 1812 Overture) and it's always a good time.
A day late, but who cares. Everyday is a good day for the National Anthem and guns.
Quote from: Staggerwing on July 04, 2015, 08:11:32 PM
Ronald w/ the shotty in the background... :))
Bill Clinton's pants are undone. ;D
Quote from: Nefaro on July 05, 2015, 06:36:26 PM
Quote from: Staggerwing on July 04, 2015, 08:11:32 PM
Ronald w/ the shotty in the background... :))
Bill Clinton's pants are undone. ;D
Yes, but he is clearly not inhaling.
Aaaand one less idiot in mirth's neck of the woods!
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/maine-man-tries-to-launch-fireworks-off-top-of-his-head-dies-instantly/
QuoteA Maine man died over the holiday weekend when fireworks he was trying to launch off of his head exploded.
The Bangor Daily News reported that 22-year-old Devon Staples was drinking with friends to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday when the accident occurred.
Maine Department of Public Safety spokesperson Stephen McCausland said that Staples placed a mortar tube on his head at around 10 p.m. and set it off. Staples was reportedly killed instantly from a fatal head injury caused by the explosion.
Herk a derp.
(https://media4.giphy.com/media/BKRSzVHGkV320/giphy.gif)
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on July 05, 2015, 07:21:38 PM
Aaaand one less idiot in mirth's neck of the woods!
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/maine-man-tries-to-launch-fireworks-off-top-of-his-head-dies-instantly/
QuoteA Maine man died over the holiday weekend when fireworks he was trying to launch off of his head exploded.
The Bangor Daily News reported that 22-year-old Devon Staples was drinking with friends to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday when the accident occurred.
Maine Department of Public Safety spokesperson Stephen McCausland said that Staples placed a mortar tube on his head at around 10 p.m. and set it off. Staples was reportedly killed instantly from a fatal head injury caused by the explosion.
We got some reel geenyuses in these parts
Quote from: LongBlade on July 05, 2015, 07:43:28 PM
(https://media4.giphy.com/media/BKRSzVHGkV320/giphy.gif)
... but dictionaries and grammar Nazis do not.
Quote from: Nefaro on July 05, 2015, 08:33:17 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on July 05, 2015, 07:43:28 PM
(https://media4.giphy.com/media/BKRSzVHGkV320/giphy.gif)
... but dictionaries and grammar Nazis do not.
Beet me to it. ;)
When they spot there mistake they will yell out a Dough!
Your carrying the grammar funnies to far.
Going back to the revocation list, re the complaint about lawyers: this from the nation which produced the novel and interminable miniseries Bleak House. And that was with a century less proliferation of the craft
Y'all may call them solicitors, or agents, or barristers, or whatever. They're still lawyers.