Liftgate. You're doing it wrong.
Mrs. Johnson, 6th grade Science, "Gravity can be a great toll for help or a nasty Bitch that'll put you on your ass faster than a fat man can eat a doughnut". I miss her.
My ju-jitsu teacher used to pose this question: What's the biggest thing you can hit someone with?
Answer: the earth.
So much stupid on such a relatively small planet.