I went to the gun range this morning and then stopped by the grocery store on the way home. As I was crossing the parking lot next to the Starbucks, I heard a woman calling out a nickname that I haven't heard since my days as a university student some 20+ years ago. I looked over to see a plump, middle aged woman frantically waving in my direction. It took me a few minutes to place her face next to a name and what a depressing moment that was. The last time I'd seen this woman was in my final year of my bachelor's degree when she was a a lithe, fit, drop-dead gorgeous 22 year old with a bit of a nasty streak and a zest for life. Now I was looking at a sagging, overweight woman with bags under her eyes, a pinched face, and the world's worst root touch-up.
I sat down and spent a few minutes catching up and I wish I hadn't. She introduced her son who was about the same age I was when I last saw her and then told me about the divorce. Next came the questions about me, my job, and my relationship status. When she found out I was single and currently holding down a well paying job, it was just depressing to see the desperation in her eyes as she practically lept over the table to give me her particulars.
Why couldn't she have remained as I last remembered her, fixed in my mind as a perpetual gorgeous 22 year old instead of intruding on my present reality and reminding me that I probably look even worse for wear than she did?
Stupid mortality.....I need a drink.
Cheer up buddy. Think of it this way. You're still the best fish in the ocean for some lady out there to catch.
You just had to share your depression with us didn't you? Well you could be in Stony Plain. Or in jail. Drink anyway.
Yeah, but now I'm some sort of desperate plan B fall back crutch and the then-vs-now photos of her are like Rhianna (she's half Filippina, half Trinidadian) vs Oprah crossed with Kim Jong Il.
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on April 11, 2013, 11:00:33 PM
Yeah, but now I'm some sort of desperate plan B fall back crutch and the then-vs-now photos of her are like Rhianna (she's half Filippina, half Trinidadian) vs Oprah crossed with Kim Jong Il.
LMFAO! I wasn't suggesting lil' jong.
My last GF was quite a few years my junior. That doesn't always work either. Just makes the grown up ones look like hags..and the young ones look like your daughter.
Drink.
It works for me. I'm incredibly shallow.
You get to live in Vancouver. Chin up Robot! Come out on the prairie where winter still lingers and sing your sad song of sagging flesh.
So this is what I have to look forward to...... thanks SDR :P
Thanks SDR. I'm going to put my eyes out and then place them on the mantle next to my dog's balls. Then I'm going to listen to the MASH themesong to try and cheer up. You braggadocious douchebag!!
Quote from: Longdan on April 11, 2013, 10:59:06 PM
You just had to share your depression with us didn't you? Well you could be in Stony Plain. Or in jail. Drink anyway.
One of the HOTTEST girls that I ever met (during my college days) came from Stony Plain, Alberta. I mean GODDAM, a major league minx. Now I can't even remember her name!!
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on April 11, 2013, 11:00:33 PM
Yeah, but now I'm some sort of desperate plan B fall back crutch and the then-vs-now photos of her are like Rhianna (she's half Filippina, half Trinidadian) vs Oprah crossed with Kim Jong Il.
Well, you could think of her an extreme makeover project!! ;)
Quote from: Silent Disapproval Robot on April 11, 2013, 11:07:57 PM
It works for me. I'm incredibly shallow.
Sorry to hear of your disappointment. Unfortunately, in most cases you get what you pay for. If the only thing that matters is looks, that's what you're going to get. Not saying that she was The One (or couldn't do with an extreme makeover), but my personal take is that when I placed the material stuff first I ended up with a bad fit.
My The One turned out to be The Wife and for that I feel quite fortunate. But everyone wants to kill even The One now and then...that's life.
Quote from: Gusington on April 12, 2013, 09:25:15 AM
My The One turned out to be The Wife and for that I feel quite fortunate. But everyone wants to kill even The One now and then...that's life.
Same here. And I have learned not to take this sort of fortune for granted.
Damn it! Drinking didn't work. Now I feel old, have a hangover, and have the theme song to MASH stuck in my head.
We have come cull circle. Good day Sir.
Quote from: Centurion40 on April 12, 2013, 08:08:06 AM
Quote from: Longdan on April 11, 2013, 10:59:06 PM
You just had to share your depression with us didn't you? Well you could be in Stony Plain. Or in jail. Drink anyway.
One of the HOTTEST girls that I ever met (during my college days) came from Stony Plain, Alberta. I mean GODDAM, a major league minx. Now I can't even remember her name!!
I go to Stony Plain every day. There are some pretty girls there but I would wager you might find more in Vancouver. Same with drug addicts.
Quote from: Gusington on April 12, 2013, 08:03:37 AM
You braggadocious douchebag!!
how was that missed
insulting with style from Sir Gus!
I can't take credit for that...I was just using the term that SDR used on himself in he Shogun 2 thread! Shameful display!
Quote from: Gusington on April 12, 2013, 11:57:02 AM
I can't take credit for that...I was just using the term that SDR used on himself in he Shogun 2 thread! Shameful display!
plagiarising douchebag
^^You are plagiarising the funny name that mirth made up for me. Hehe.
well shame the hell on her for letting herself go to hell like that and pissing all over your fantastic memories of former glory days...
buddy... the best time of your life is right now and you're single... so go find some buds, drink'er up, and flirt outrageously with the women
orrrrr
be a steam whore and play wargames and trash talk anyone who appreciates the art of it... like me or metaldawg
Quote from: Windigo on April 18, 2013, 02:37:32 PM
buddy... the best time of your life is right now
My dad always likes to say when he takes a photograph that you'll never be this young and good looking again.
Get out there and enjoy life!
Don't make me hit you with my cane.
Now git off my lawn!
^You're grumpy when you're constipated.
SDR, it could be much worse.
Instead of the theme song from MASH, suppose it was "It's a small world afterall" from Disney World.?
One of my fondest scenes from MASH was Col Potter surveying the wreckage of his Jeep after it was run over by a tank. After a few moments contemplation, (and being an old cavalryman), he took out his revolver and shot it to administer the coup de grace
Quote from: bob48 on April 19, 2013, 02:22:40 PM
One of my fondest scenes from MASH was Col Potter surveying the wreckage of his Jeep after it was run over by a tank. After a few moments contemplation, (and being an old cavalryman), he took out his revolver and shot it to administer the coup de grace
That's actually a ripoff of a Bill Mauldin 'Willy&Joe' cartoon from WW2. Note that is says 'Cavalry' on the bumper:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmvpimages.net%2Fwillys%2Fgifs%2Fshootjeep.jpg&hash=082d1fc5c374787747fee202b1979f74081b6d2e)
Oh, I didn't know that. I've seen a few of the cartoons over the years, but not that one. I'll have to have a dig around for some more. Thanks Stagger.
The Willy & Joe cartoons are a treasure trove:
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usmilitariaforum.com%2Fuploads%2F%2Fmonthly_11_2012%2Fpost-7885-0-88116000-1352413263.jpg&hash=a3a9a91c70fd3a297de0f85068685bad135489db)
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usmilitariaforum.com%2Fforums%2Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcore%26amp%3Bmodule%3Dattach%26amp%3Bsection%3Dattach%26amp%3Battach_rel_module%3Dpost%26amp%3Battach_id%3D581760&hash=d7db9018b9e23c7496b760f32039652455c30236)
"I feel like a fugitive from th' law of averages."
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usmilitariaforum.com%2Fforums%2Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcore%26amp%3Bmodule%3Dattach%26amp%3Bsection%3Dattach%26amp%3Battach_rel_module%3Dpost%26amp%3Battach_id%3D581762&hash=5675db03800a4b981e3f46a48f4b31941f48f32c)
"Don't startle 'im, Joe — it's almost full."
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usmilitariaforum.com%2Fforums%2Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcore%26amp%3Bmodule%3Dattach%26amp%3Bsection%3Dattach%26amp%3Battach_rel_module%3Dpost%26amp%3Battach_id%3D580830&hash=bc8f1fca0337efe2705f3d7307ab4be004504423)
"You'll get over it, Joe. Once I wuz gonna write a book exposin' the army after th' war myself."
I just shamelessly swiped these from another forum but there are more all over the net as well as some great books collecting them.
LB! We need a few Groggy Amazon links to Bill Mauldin books!
Brilliant!
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usmilitariaforum.com%2Fforums%2Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcore%26amp%3Bmodule%3Dattach%26amp%3Bsection%3Dattach%26amp%3Battach_rel_module%3Dpost%26amp%3Battach_id%3D580986&hash=1eb85e949143b4e5b00878d23ab397053d7e3c92)
"Just give me the aspirin. I already got a Purple Heart."
The depth of knowledge on these boards never ceases to amaze me.
LB, groggify this link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0891411593/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0891411593&linkCode=as2&tag=grogheads-20
Guys, spring for the hardcopy- these are the kind of books to hand down to the next bunch of grogs to come.
edit: grogified :)
Looking on amazon UK now.
Looks like I can pick up a paperback copy for around £12. Woot!