So I'm driving to work this morning on what is turning out to be a gorgeous day weather wise. Although it's Monday, I'm feeling rather chipper. That is until this impatient clod starts to tailgate me so close I could see that he didn't shave this morning.
I'm driving the speed limit on a 40MPH road and there are 4 or 5 other cars in front of me doing the same. Meanwhile bozo is literally inches away from my rear bumper and I'm starting to get a bit aggravated. Riding me like that is not going to make the guys in front of me drive faster.
So up ahead comes my right hand turn and I'm thinking to myself at least I'll get rid of Mr. Impatient here behind me. As I turn I notice he's following me and actually attempting to pass me in the turn! Needless to say I flip out and swerve back and forth before jamming on the brakes. I unbuckle, the car is still traveling, and I'm making ready to jump out and let him kill himself by rear ending my car. That's how mad I got. Almost like my personal crusade to teach this maggot a lesson that you don't ride people like that.
WTF is wrong with people? There was never this unfathomable impatience in drivers 15 years ago. It used to be that one could drive down the street without worrying about either someone cutting you off abruptly trying to merge or someone riding you so close from behind and then trying to pass you in a no passing zone on a one lane road.
I'm not having a good day today.
Most likely it's because your getting old and turning slowly into a curmudgeon. Next thing you know you'll be stopping by Home Depot just to browse the Keep Off the Grass signs. It's one of the male menopause stages. Next comes the "I remember when..." conversation lead in phrase. Followed by a keen interest in the weather. It'll be ok man.
Welcome to the club!
I remember when I used to think I was old because I stopped by Home Depot to look at the Keep off the Grass signs...
I've given this advice before and it is is Breezy Approved[tm]...take that for what it's worth: when being tailgated, slow down. Not only is it safer, it will drive the tailgater fucking crazy.
Believe it or not when I drove an ambulance I got tailgated. An ambulance is not as fast as everyone would like them to be. I would slow down and since the ambulance was quite wide, it would drive the tailgaters nuts.
To make you feel better, I was almost killed last week by a douchebag who crossed the double yellow line because he wasn't getting where he was going fast enough. He almost hit me head on. All I could was flash the finger.
And stay away from white trash. They are the absolute worst. You know what I mean. In simpler terms: drive defensively, always. Do not try to teach a lesson, just try to avoid these asses. There are so many of them, your mettle will be tested.
Gus sounds like he's channeling me.
Defensive driving is the key. I tell my kids this all the time. Driving is not a race to get there the fastest - it's getter there alive that matters. Everything else is secondary.
Quote from: LongBlade on March 19, 2012, 02:47:52 PM
I remember when I used to think I was old because I stopped by Home Depot to look at the Keep off the Grass signs...
There is a lot of thought that needs to go into not only purchasing the Keep Off the Grass sign, but also how you display it to achieve the greatest results.
It seems to have been a much simpler time back in the days when you could just put a head or two on a stake outside your castle to keep the rift raft at bay.
Quote from: Bison on March 19, 2012, 03:03:16 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on March 19, 2012, 02:47:52 PM
I remember when I used to think I was old because I stopped by Home Depot to look at the Keep off the Grass signs...
There is a lot of thought that needs to go into not only purchasing the Keep Off the Grass sign, but also how you display it to achieve the greatest results.
It seems to have been a much simpler time back in the days when you could just put a head or two on a stake outside your castle to keep the rift raft at bay.
I like to alternate between bear traps artistically sprinkled around the sign and trading it all out for a warning in a language no one will understand.
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I'm suffering from middle aged male menopause? I suspected this for some time now but was afraid to admit it. Am I starting to get that old now? Now that you guys mention it I do start some of my sentences with "I remember when" more often than not, especially when giving advice to my kids.
I'm totally down with defensive driving and slowing down, but I totally lost it this morning. I'm actually a little disappointed with myself but at the same time I'm pissed that people are so selfish that my life is put into danger because of them.
Heh...no matter the language the skull and crossbones is always an effective deterent.
Quote from: W8taminute on March 19, 2012, 03:14:00 PM
I'm totally down with defensive driving and slowing down, but I totally lost it this morning. I'm actually a little disappointed with myself but at the same time I'm pissed that people are so selfish that my life is put into danger because of them.
As a fellow curmudgeon, I find that on some days it's easier just to be a preemptive ass and drive at least 10 to 15 mph slower then the speed limit. I find that monday morning usually achieves the best results.
People have just lost all common sense. They think only about themselves and everyone else better get out of their way.
This has happened to me before and I've pulled off the road or into a parking lot to let them get around and then I'll get back on the road. However, I totally understand you feelings and reaction.
TheCommandTent sounds like the voice inside my head.
I hated the way I felt after bouts of road rage, especially if it made The Wife or the kids scared. So I try to get all zen as best I can. It works, most of the time.
The thing that still enrages me is when I am puttering down the street at say 35 mph, minding my own business and some ass pulls right out in front of me, then slows down! I swear when I get older I am going to buy some wreck of a car that I can use just to ram these idiots.
Given, that does not merge well with my zen defensive technique but...an asshole is an asshole. And there are way too many of them in cars.
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 09:43:29 AM
....
I swear when I get older I am going to buy some wreck of a car that I can use just to ram these idiots
.....
Oh man, get out of my head! I said this very statement about a week ago to my wife.
I also just take my foot off the gas and slowly slow down for tailgaters. Makes them crazy but puts the problem back in their lap. Pass and die or back off. :)
I used to have severe road rage...then I started carrying a gun. Now I drive casually and just smile when someone gets aggressive or hostile. Do they really want to pull me over? I guess that is for me to know, and for them to find out.
^Be careful JH, seriously. There are jerkoffs out there with way less training and restraint than you that are also armed and behind the wheel. The last thing we need is another Mad Max re-enactment on the roads here.
Ramming your wreck Gus/Barthart style is one thing...opening fire is another!
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 09:43:29 AM
The thing that still enrages me is when I am puttering down the street at say 35 mph, minding my own business and some ass pulls right out in front of me, then slows down!
This is far and away my biggest driving pet peeve as well. I don't get afflicted with road rage that often (fortunately), but when I do, it's usually because of this.
Get with the times people.
See my new sig.
Quote from: Martok on March 20, 2012, 12:24:19 PM
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 09:43:29 AM
The thing that still enrages me is when I am puttering down the street at say 35 mph, minding my own business and some ass pulls right out in front of me, then slows down!
This is far and away my biggest driving pet peeve as well. I don't get afflicted with road rage that often (fortunately), but when I do, it's usually because of this.
This is my favorite way to cause road rage.
^Damn your eyes.
Gus, just for him we'll put exploding bumpers on our wrecks! 8)
What I really, really love to do is pull out, slow down, roll my window down, put my arm up on the window ledge thingy, turn up the radio, adjust my mirror, turn on my blinker first to the right and then to the left but keep going straight and as soon as I get to a yellow light...gun it so I can carry on my merry way.
^Bartheart...that's him! That's the guy!!^
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Well, at least it seems that the same bad driving habits exist on both sides of the pond. This morning, pootling my way to the office when a thick-necked git in a BMW convertable forced his way in front of me, slowed right down and glared into his rear view mirror waiting for me to make some sort of hostile gesture - which I did not do - so he gave me the ol' 2-finger salute and buggered orf!
A total prat if there ever was one (him that is, not me).....
Quote from: bob48 on March 20, 2012, 02:46:28 PM
This morning, pootling my way to the office
That cannot possibly be good.
But I digress...
Quotewhen a thick-necked git in a BMW convertable forced his way in front of me,
By any chance did this git's license plate read "AZZ" ?
Quote from: bob48 on March 20, 2012, 02:46:28 PM
pootling
I have never, ever read or heard this word ever used before today. Very interesting the things one learns. I've will endeveur to use this word at work tomorrow. Thanks Bob!
LB I shot the tank.
Pootling: Brit informal to travel or go in a relaxed or leisurely manner
Quote from: Bison on March 20, 2012, 02:51:41 PM
LB I shot the tank.
Pootling: Brit informal to travel or go in a relaxed or leisurely manner
I presume you have cross-verified that on UrbanDictionary? Or are you just standing up for the good Mr. Bob's character?
I'd like to put it on record right here and now that I have not been back to the urban dictionary since the great WG 2 girls and 1 cup fiasco of 2010.
Think of it more as a frame of mind - OK, I wuz doing just under the legal speed for the road - 40mph - but my mind was was in an advanced state of pootle - a reluctance to face the drudge of another day at work instead of getting on with important stuff - in this case, turn 6 of Normandy '44
I think Mr. Bob used pootling the same way I used puttering.
Puttering = Americanese
Pootling = Brit English (but sounds dirtier)
Only difference is that I was trying to figure out how to unvampire myself in Skyrim instead of the next Normandy '44 turn. Which makes Mr. Bob far more manly than myself.
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
Now that I know what pootling is for sure. I can say that I've done my fair share of pootling about in my life time.
Quote from: Bison on March 20, 2012, 02:57:07 PM
I'd like to put it on record right here and now that I have not been back to the urban dictionary since the great WG 2 girls and 1 cup fiasco of 2010.
Huh. And here I looked-up "Beard" for you this afternoon. I decided against posting the results.
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
I've tried but never found it. Personally, I believe it to be myth- like Sasquatch or business ethics.
Quote from: Centurion40 on March 20, 2012, 03:00:14 PM
Quote from: Bison on March 20, 2012, 02:57:07 PM
I'd like to put it on record right here and now that I have not been back to the urban dictionary since the great WG 2 girls and 1 cup fiasco of 2010.
Huh. And here I looked-up "Beard" for you this afternoon. I decided against posting the results.
Wait? It has an alternative meaning?
Quote from: Centurion40 on March 20, 2012, 03:01:33 PM
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
I've tried but never found it. Personally, I believe it to be myth- like Sasquatch or business ethics.
It's not and it's horrible. For the love of your sanity never ever watch it. You will never look at soft serve ice cream the same again. Ever.
Quote from: Bison on March 20, 2012, 03:04:19 PM
Quote from: Centurion40 on March 20, 2012, 03:01:33 PM
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
I've tried but never found it. Personally, I believe it to be myth- like Sasquatch or business ethics.
It's not and it's horrible. For the love of your sanity never ever watch it. You will never look at soft serve ice cream the same again. Ever.
+1
Never look for it. If it finds you, run away.
Bison said it, but it bears repeating and I am 100% serious (for what is likely to be the first time in a fortnight):
For the love of your sanity never, ever watch it.
Maybe the universe is protecting me. I did end-up seeing some sickly bizarre Japanese crap.
Quote from: Centurion40 on March 20, 2012, 04:13:22 PM
Maybe the universe is protecting me. I did end-up seeing some sickly bizarre Japanese crap.
I, fortunately, have managed to avoid most of the whacked out Japanese stuff.
I love watching how these threads go in totally different directions from the original intent. Its very entertaining. I should really start popping popcorn before reading the forums in the evening. 8)
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
I was absolutely certain that "Two Girls One Cup" MUST have something to do with bras, so I googled it......thank goodness I read the Wiki description of it rather than going straight to the video!
All I can say is that when I'm wrong, I'm wrong :P
Quote from: Steelgrave on March 20, 2012, 07:24:18 PM
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
I was absolutely certain that "Two Girls One Cup" MUST have something to do with bras, so I googled it......thank goodness I read the Wiki description of it rather than going straight to the video!
All I can say is that when I'm wrong, I'm wrong :P
Hey, you cannot say you weren't waived off of that one.
Quote from: TheCommandTent on March 20, 2012, 06:29:42 PM
I love watching how these threads go in totally different directions from the original intent. Its very entertaining. I should really start popping popcorn before reading the forums in the evening. 8)
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Quote from: bob48 on March 20, 2012, 02:46:28 PM
...so he gave me the ol' 2-finger salute and buggered orf!
Wow, you guys still have that gesture? And here I thought it went out of fashion after the Hundred Years War!
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I think Mr. Bob used pootling the same way I used puttering.
Puttering = Americanese
Pootling = Brit English (but sounds dirtier)
That was my take as well. Sort of like how "Uff da" is the Norwegian equivalent of "Oy vey".
Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 02:59:17 PM
I still have not viewed two girls one cup and never will.
Ditto. That is one tank that I will never, EVER shoot!
Here's me during today's road rage incident on the way to work this morning:
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Ever since I got my Willy's jeep from J.C. Whitney complete with mounted 50 cal I've been less stressed.
Anyway :)
It's good in a way to hear of similar experiences from you guys. I thought road rage was something that only happened in North America. Are people everywhere simply losing it?
Now let me ask you this. Are people who are living under a tyrannical dictatorship form of government less likely to commit acts of road rage?
And another. Are people who are living under a left leaning or left of center type of government more likely to commit acts of road rage?
Quote from: Bison on March 19, 2012, 02:09:59 PM
Most likely it's because your getting old and turning slowly into a curmudgeon. Next thing you know you'll be stopping by Home Depot just to browse the Keep Off the Grass signs. It's one of the male menopause stages. Next comes the "I remember when..." conversation lead in phrase. Followed by a keen interest in the weather. It'll be ok man.
OMG, you have been spying on me.....
I love the weather. Very foggy here today. Creepy Hudson Valley vibe. I don't think that it's so much that people are losing it...it's more that there are just too many people. Which makes me lose it, personally. So...maybe you're right W8.
We've got a very light rain - more like mist. I stood out on the deck and chatted on the phone for a few minutes while it gently fell. Not wet enough to get wet, just enough to cool you down.
^Poetic.
Just read the OP, tailgating, my tactic is a long cleaning of the windscreen. The now dirty water sprays up and over the roof and lands square on the offenders windscreen, like p1ssing on them in a way =). Anyway once you see thier wipers come on it gives a great sense of victory and you can then let them but maintaining the same speed so they have to pay of it with thier fuel.
Quote from: Windigo on March 21, 2012, 08:39:01 AM
Quote from: Bison on March 19, 2012, 02:09:59 PM
Most likely it's because your getting old and turning slowly into a curmudgeon. Next thing you know you'll be stopping by Home Depot just to browse the Keep Off the Grass signs. It's one of the male menopause stages. Next comes the "I remember when..." conversation lead in phrase. Followed by a keen interest in the weather. It'll be ok man.
OMG, you have been spying on me.....
The truly horrible part is the personal maintanance like taming wild ear hair.
I dodged the ear hair thing.... but the diminishing eyesight acuity at night and peripheral is really pissing me off
I must admit I have used the Okult windshield wiper tactic. It is quite satisfying.
Quote from: Gusington on March 21, 2012, 12:23:50 PM
I must admit I have used the Okult windshield wiper tactic. It is quite satisfying.
paintball guns with skunk scent would be my first line of defence.... if it was allowed
Quote from: Windigo on March 21, 2012, 12:25:14 PMQuote from: Gusington on March 21, 2012, 12:23:50 PMI must admit I have used the Okult windshield wiper tactic. It is quite satisfying.
paintball guns with skunk scent would be my first line of defence.... if it was allowed
it's not?!
Quote from: bayonetbrant on March 21, 2012, 12:34:02 PM
Quote from: Windigo on March 21, 2012, 12:25:14 PMQuote from: Gusington on March 21, 2012, 12:23:50 PMI must admit I have used the Okult windshield wiper tactic. It is quite satisfying.
paintball guns with skunk scent would be my first line of defence.... if it was allowed
it's not?!
if it was I'd love commuting
No, I want a black Hummer, with blacked out windows and a dirty great bull-bar in front, and one at the back, and maybe a cab-top mounted 50cal. plus a row of spotlights that could blister paint at close range :-)
Although I guess if I did, the pillock brigade would not play so many dirty tricks on me - maybe its because I drive a Fiat Panda 4 x 4.............?
Bob you are a wealth of nice factiods! I never heard of a panda before 60 seconds ago.
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Yup - but mines a rare beast - its a 4 x 4, and it blue.
I cannot imagine a 4X4 version of this vehicle.
http://youtu.be/4KnycW-yOn8
Enjoy :-)
Quote from: Bison on March 21, 2012, 02:17:23 PM
I cannot imagine a 4X4 version of this vehicle.
Look at the clearance: perfect for pedestrian zones!
at least he's not driving a "Ka" - the car so small they left off the last letter!
Seriously, you open the hatchback on a "Ka" and smack the driver in the back of the head. Makes the SmartFor2 look spacious.
Ok. Sure it drives through mud, but it looked like it really wanted to tip over a couple of times driving through the, huh, exteme terrain.
Quote from: bob48 on March 21, 2012, 02:18:50 PM
http://youtu.be/4KnycW-yOn8
Enjoy :-)
A Technical Vehicle for the sub-compact fan!
Who knew?
lol - its about the smallest 4 x 4 you can get - but it performs very well in snow and so on, and I get 41 mpg out of it just on work runs, and about 55 mpg an the motoway trips, although its not a great car for long distances, its OK for me and the missus.
Yeah Brants right. Who the fingf approve the design of this thing. It's horrible.
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Quote from: bob48 on March 21, 2012, 02:28:29 PM
lol - its about the smallest 4 x 4 you can get - but it performs very well in snow and so on, and I get 41 mpg out of it just on work runs, and about 55 mpg an the motoway trips, although its not a great car for long distances, its OK for me and the missus.
Compared to the KA, which is another vehile I did not know existed, you drive a souped up SUV.
I also never knew a Fiat Panda existed before this thread.
55mpg??? That makes my Subaru feel like a bus. With AWD.
That's actually the new body style for the Ka. Believe it or not, the older style (mid-'00s) was worse.
They even made a "sport" version - same crappy body style, but a funny commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxSex9VxlwI
We had a Vauxhall Vectra last time we were in Scotland and enjoyed driving it quite a bit. Had a little Renault hatchback on our honeymoon out near Hexham and it was also a nice car. Coming back to the US after a week of driving around the UK makes you think all our cars are on steroids.
I guess its what you are used to, the Vectra is OK - just the job for pootling around Hexham, which is only about 15 miles away from where I live.
Quote from: bob48 on March 21, 2012, 03:29:35 PM
pootling
There's that word again. Maybe it was created, like teacup poodles, especially for folks who drive these miniature cars?
One way or the other LB, I'm gonna get you all using that word... mwhahahahaha!
I planned on using it at work today, but I got so wrapped up pootling around the intrawebs that I totally forgot too.
No worries, Bison.... I'll keep reminding you :-)
I'm gonna go pootle on over to Pop's house and pick up my daughter.
Safe pootling Gus.
Quote from: Gusington on March 21, 2012, 12:23:50 PM
I must admit I have used the Okult windshield wiper tactic. It is quite satisfying.
The rear wiper of my old jeep was missing and the bit of hose from the wiper fluid reservoir faced backwards.
It actually had a nice arc when fired. Many times I wished I'd filled the attached bottle with my own urine... 8)
^Absolutely genius. I like where this is going.
I knew of some guys who took that in the other direction: they cleaned up the window washing reservoir and filled it with gin & tonic. Then they strung surgical tubing from the ejection point through each of the side windows.
Mind you, that is *not* recommended for obvious reasons.