GrogHeads Forum

Digital Gaming => Mobile Gaming => Topic started by: bayonetbrant on September 26, 2013, 08:10:40 AM

Title: Initial enthusiasm or...
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 26, 2013, 08:10:40 AM
... the "blahs" of the deeper look

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gameloft.android.ANMP.GloftINHM

QuoteGIVE AN ONLINE BEATDOWN!
✓Up to 12 players can battle online in multiplayer games
✓5 classes: Soldier, Gunner, Medic, Sniper, Stealth  <--- uh, what are snipers if not stealthy?  and aren't all those guys "soldiers"?
✓Control the battlefield in Domination mode
✓Frag everyone from the opposing army in Deathmatch games
✓Use 3 different vehicles for a tactical advantage in battle
✓Fight with over 100 weapons, each made for a specific class  <--- "each made for a specific class" eh? Lessee 100 weapons, 5 classes. Hmmm. I'm not math genius, but...
✓Unique taunts and kill phrases for each character in the game <--- in my world, we call this "voice chat"
✓Voice Chat to create your game plan in the heat of the action  <--- hey look! voice chat!

Man, I hate PR flacks...
Title: Re: Initial enthusiasm or...
Post by: JasonPratt on September 26, 2013, 01:29:03 PM
"What are snipers if not stealthy?"

"YO SOY JOHN MARSTON!" {blam!}
Title: .
Post by: eyebiter on September 26, 2013, 03:09:58 PM
.
Title: Re: Initial enthusiasm or...
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 26, 2013, 06:55:29 PM
How REAL PR should be in this case:

Quote
KICK EVERYONE'S F&CKING ASS!!!

✓ Multiplayer for 12 real-world 12-year-olds to "mack straight up your shizznit?" CHECK!

✓ FIVE F&CKING CLASSES, DAMMIT:
- GUNNER (a heavy weapons douchebag that just sprays-and-prays and screams "GIVE ME AMMO YOU GAY FA&&OTS COME ONNNNNNNN"
- MEDIC (the class NOBODY every plays but is left here for brow-beaten members of "T3aM _-=SnIpAh=-_" to play in order to maybe possibly someday play "for realz"
- SNIPER (perfect for spawncampers and players with even less skill than MEDICS)
- SOLDIER (even more vanilla than Vanilla Ice)
- STEALTH (only gives players with a healthy psychopathic blood lust a single knife)

✓ BATTLE OVER THE SAME SPAWN POINTS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

✓ Perfect for Team Killers (and Team Killaz!)

✓ Play DEATHMATCH and make the other team PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID! SHOOT THEM IN THE F$#$#%(^ HEAD!!!!

✓ New Roid Rage DLC available soon!

✓ New Twinkie and Mountain Dew Rage DLC available at your corner convenience store!

✓ Use vehicles to RUN PEOPLE OVER! SPLATTTTTTT!!!!

✓ Use over 100 WEAPONS (read: 101 weapons)! For REAL-WORLD REALITY, each weapon is a DIFFERENT CALIBRE! Imagine the HOURS OF FUN running around the game map trying to find ammo that fits your %*$*@$ gun!!!

✓ In game macro-enabled TAUNTS such as:
- CTRL-SHIFT-ALT-END-DEL-M: to call YOUR team members a "f*cking f&ckbag of f&cknuts"
- CTRL-ALT-SHIFT-F3-HOME-PG DN: to tell the OTHER team what their mothers were doing last night!
- Type "FRENCH" to surrender to the other team immediately!
...AND THOUSANDS MORE!!!

✓ Voice Chat enabled to manually call other players "GAY F&GGOTS," the ever-popular N-word, or ANY combination of these three words! The sky is literally the LIMIT (if the sky is like nine)!