Porn Kills

Started by LongBlade, January 26, 2016, 11:11:26 PM

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LongBlade

January 26, 2016, 11:11:26 PM
Sadly, this thread could not be posted to the Florida thread. Our tale of woe comes to an end in Detroit after some hard driving and unfortunate half ejection.



QuoteAccording to The Detroit News, not only was Clifford Ray Jones, 58, watching a dirty video while driving around at 3:30 a.m., but he also wasn't wearing any pants (let alone a seatbelt). His joyride came to a climactic conclusion when he lost control of his Toyota, rolled it, and was partially ejected through the car's sunroof. Jones died at the scene. Nobody else was harmed.

It was not clear what movie he was watching.

source: http://dailycaller.com/2016/01/26/pantsless-driver-dies-after-crashing-car-while-watching-porn/
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Bison

#1
January 26, 2016, 11:14:55 PM
Clearly some legislation is in order, because if we can save one life...

Sir Slash

#2
January 26, 2016, 11:28:06 PM
George Michael got a car?  8)
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Con

#3
January 26, 2016, 11:41:55 PM
Quote from: Bison on January 26, 2016, 11:14:55 PM
Clearly some legislation is in order, because if we can save one life...
Do we really need to save these lives?  This is a clear case of putting some bleach in the gene pool

mirth

#4
January 26, 2016, 11:46:37 PM
Porn doesn't kill people. People with porn-guns kill people.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Sir Slash

#5
January 27, 2016, 10:40:17 AM
My old Driving Instructor used to say driving with one hand will get you killed. Guess he was right. I always wanted to tell him he shouldn't be doing that in the front seat of a car but was afraid I would fail the course. And get slapped out the back seat window. He was the Football Coach too.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

bob48

#6
January 27, 2016, 01:51:37 PM Last Edit: January 27, 2016, 01:54:10 PM by bob48
I once had a girlfriend who, while we out taking a quiet drive in the countryside, asked me if I could drive with one hand. I said 'oh yeah' and she said 'well, here's an handkerchief - blow yer nose'

So I asked her if she believed in the hereafter. She asked what I meant by that, and my reply was;

'If you're not here after what I'm here after, then you'll be here after I've gone'
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

Sir Slash

#7
January 27, 2016, 04:46:00 PM
Good one Bob.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

BanzaiCat

#8
January 27, 2016, 04:49:59 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on January 26, 2016, 11:11:26 PM

Quotepartially ejected


Poor guy couldn't even finish completely.  :'(

besilarius

#9
January 27, 2016, 07:02:55 PM
Bawb!  I'm shocked.  SHOCKED!
Next Louis Renoir will show up about your gambling.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Gusington

#10
January 27, 2016, 08:41:07 PM
You can take my porn from my cold dead hands.
✡

слава Україна!

We can't live under the threat of a c*nt because he's threatening nuclear Armageddon.

-JudgeDredd

mirth

#11
January 27, 2016, 08:43:14 PM
Quote from: Gusington on January 27, 2016, 08:41:07 PM
You can take my porn from my cold dead hands.

No thanks!
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Bison

#12
January 27, 2016, 08:43:53 PM
Quote from: mirth on January 27, 2016, 08:43:14 PM
Quote from: Gusington on January 27, 2016, 08:41:07 PM
You can take my porn from my cold dead hands.

No thanks!

It's a fetish porn.

mirth

#13
January 27, 2016, 08:45:08 PM
I'll keep my fetishes to myself.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

BanzaiCat

#14
January 27, 2016, 09:00:01 PM
Quote from: Gusington on January 27, 2016, 08:41:07 PM
You can take my porn from my cold dead hands.

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