Gaming woes - how do deal with a dud in the group?

Silent Disapproval Robot · July 24, 2016, 01:08:38 PM

One of the best things about tabletop gaming is the social aspect. Unfortunately, it can also be one of the worst things.
I'd been pestering my local group to give Sails of Glory a try as I think it's an excellent game and it really shines when you get a large number of players together, with each controlling just one or two ships.

I finally managed to get a game arranged for yesterday for 6 players. As usual life got in the way and one had to back out. As there was only one guy who'd played the game before, he agreed to take control of two ships so we could play the intended scenario. I guess he got a little overwhelmed and ended up making a couple of bone-headed maneuvers but instead of just chalking it up as a mistake and having a laugh about it, he threw a bit of a pouty tantrum instead, whined, threatened to quit a few times, and just remained sulky for the rest of the day. Definitely dragged the enjoyment of the game down for all involved as everyone was shooting sidelong glances at one another and treating this guy with kid gloves. It's frustrating not only because it ruined what should have been a fun session that took a fair bit of prep to organize but, more importantly, it likely left 4 potential new players with a negative first impression of the game which will lessen the likelihood of them joining in any future sessions.

So, any tips on how to deal with guys like these? Our group organizes sessions via Facebook and Mr. Poutypants is the most active so it's nearly impossible to set up a game without him being the first one to join in.

mirth · July 24, 2016, 02:13:43 PM

That's tough. How well do you know the guy? Can you straight up tell him that sort of behavior isn't cool? Do you think this was a one time thing (we've all had pissy moments at a game table) or is this common behavior for the dude?

My local group is pretty tight and we've generally handled the unpleasant guys buy not inviting them back, but we don't organize via FB. It's all done by private email and we do most games at private homes. So, it's easy to 'forget' to invite someone.

You're right about his behavior potentially driving others away. It really does take just one bad apple to wreck a gaming group. Good luck with it.

Silent Disapproval Robot · July 24, 2016, 02:44:29 PM

As the guy shows up for nearly every game put on, I know him well. I guess he never played any team sports as a kid because he doesn't display any sort of sportsmanship. Giddy and smirking when he's winning, pouting and whining when he's not. The guy'ss recovering from some serious health issues so calling him out would feel like kicking him when he's down.

mirth · July 24, 2016, 02:49:32 PM

Hate to say it, but sounds like you're stuck with him. Personally, I'd avoid him. Even if it meant skipping games.

GJK · July 24, 2016, 02:58:16 PM

Organizing group games can be tough. You can almost always count on at least one person dropping out and if there's some ego's involved between a pair or more of the rest, then it becomes a not so good gaming experience. Have you gamed other games with that person or person(s) before? Of the remaining 4, I'd try to set something up with just them and have you maybe "referee" them. When pouty pants asks to join in just decline. If he pouts some more and asks why, tell him "that's why".

panzerde · July 25, 2016, 04:42:57 PM

I'm with Gary. My guess is he got that way because no one was ever straight up with him.

There's also the "hold a pillow over his face until he stops breathing" option, but then you gotta try and get the other four guys to help you hide the body. >:D

Barthheart · July 25, 2016, 05:47:40 PM

Quote from: panzerde on July 25, 2016, 04:42:57 PM
I'm with Gary. My guess is he got that way because no one was ever straight up with him.

There's also the "hold a pillow over his face until he stops breathing" option, but then you gotta try and get the other four guys to help you hide the body. >:D

Buddies are biddies but real friends help you hide the body.

Wes · July 25, 2016, 06:05:01 PM

I think you have this one fixed already.

Talk to him alone in person and inquire about the health issue and suggest it may be throwing him off his game (no pun intended). Suggest taking some time off from gaming to heal/come to terms with it. If he declines then just say ok, but we can't have a scene like last time and get him to confirm that he understands you guys are there to have fun.

Then if he starts up again during a meet up just say we have discussed this already. He'll back off and play straight or quit.

If you need to firm up the other players just say the guy is dealing with some stuff and that you two have talked and leave it at that.

My two rules: Keep a conversational tone and never bust anybody out in front of others...it just makes things worse.

agrippamaxentius · July 28, 2016, 07:03:25 PM

See here I would suggest talking to him calmly and explaining what he is doing and why it is upsetting. I have a bit of a different problem, my local tabletop group is very close-knit so ive shown up to two meetings and literally had to ASK to join in on a boardgame, and they made it very clear that I was interrupting their little "group".