Wives and girl friends - do any of them get it?

[TheCommandTent]

My wife appreciates history but isn't rabid about learning about it like I am.  She puts up with my hobby and is never really negative about it, she just is not interested in participating.  However, she does enjoy boardgaming (note this does not cover wargames) stuff like Settlers of Catan, Carcasssone etc. so one day I hope to get her accidentally to enjoy a beer and pretzels wargame. :)

[junk2drive]

I forgot to mention that we raised two good kids with her being a stay at home mom for the most part.

We played pong together, then Space Invaders until the sun came up. When 007 came out with whichever Nintendo, she kicked ass and I learned that women have better hand eye coordination. She played every version of Zelda to the end. On the Apple we had Wings of Fury, a WWII Pacific game where you took off from a carrier and shot/bombed Japanese troops, then returned to the carrier before the fuel ran out. Currently she plays all the Facebook games. She is happy that I have my games and have done some alpha/beta work.

[MarkShot]

So, are war gamers more likely to have amenable or tolerant wives?  Since clearly this hobby is mainly male. So, like J2D implies his choice of spouse was no accident.

I was married before I ever played a war game or PCs existed. So, I am just lucky my wife encourages the things I like.

War games and computer tech just puts her to sleep. Although she likes having the latest tech in her hands ... Just not having to be involved making it work. You would never guess she got an MS Degree in Computer Science.  But unlike myself who loves tech, she just did that to get a job. Her undergraduate degree in Chinese literature was worthless in the USA 30 years ago.

[junk2drive]

Too many times I see guys posts about the other half being nice to look at and likes to <****> like a rabbit but has no interest in every other thing in my life. You have to find a best friend first, because the other stuff will change over time.

Our daughter is not so much into history but is all over football, baseball, and somewhat hockey and basketball.

[MetalDog]

^Sounds like a pretty sweet family you've got :-)

[junk2drive]

Thanks, we have been blessed.

[JudgeDredd]

My wife sees it as "playing". And whilst it essentially is, I like to think of it as keeping my mind going - regardless of game genre. In my mind, it beats hands down the fictional books she reads or the TV dramas...but she doesn't see it like that - I'm just playing.

My daughters like computer games. Cathryn (11) is quite into WoW though not to a nerdy level and Megan likes FPS games. She's probably finished more than I have. But both of them look at my strategy games and don't get it. It's not all graphics - so why would I want to play it?

I just shut the doors  :)

[Keunert]

if i watch my two girls play it is obvious that they play different to boys. a lot more communication, a lot more role playing and cooperation.
it would surprise me if that would change with age. so even if they game on consoles it would surprise me to see lot's of women playing the same
games as their boyfriends.

[undercovergeek]

Wife Mk I loved Civ 2, when Civ 2 was contemporary and played it to death

Wife Mk II loved all the Tomb Raiders and Professor Layton games on the DS

Undercover Junior at 5 likes her DS, and loves watching me move around the CMBN map, i will turn her eventually

Neither understood CMBO or WitP

I recall a major piece done in PCZone UK once and they spoke to a load of lady gamers and their one major conclusion was that ladies love a story, some RPG, some puzzling and some interaction, where men prefer strategy and xplodey things.

In my experience i think they have a problem with WW2 strategy specifically because its been and gone, done and concluded and we know the victor and loser - why try and recreate that?

[besilarius]

Think whenever you talk about the whole gender differences, you can only talk generalities.  There are just too many people with too many interests.
I feel that guys are more interested in war and fighting to begin with, because we have more competitiveness built into our genes.  You needed hunter-gatherers/defenders of the hearth on a daily basis.  Quiet, thoughtful guys were also needed so there is a mix.
Women don't so much need the competition.  If they get involved, from my experience, it is much more personal.  What I mean is they don't want to play the game, or beat the game system.  If they get involved, they want to beat that SOB trying to blow her friends and family away.
For those who grew up in the 1950s, and most of the 60s, you wouldn't believe the amount of television on World War II.  There were nights that were wall to wall military shows.  Navy Log, Air Power, Combat, the Gallant Men, Citizen Soldier, the Silent Service, 12 O'Clock High, the list goes on.  And the same for the movies, tons of war flicks.
This helped create an interest in World War II games that made Avalon Hill games a market to sell to.
NO girls, though.  They were only depicted as nurses, heroic resistance fighters, and victims.
I think there always has been some interested women gamers, but it had to be something that interested them on a personal level.
This takes time to develop and to nurture.  By the time we find the ladies, their thought processes are already set, and it is almost impossib le to change their programming.

[MarkShot]

That was my childhood TV experience ... old b/w WWII, "duck and cover", and the Mercury 7 are America's national heroes.

I hadn't seen a war game yet or a PC, but I had been totally programmed.  At some point in the mid-90s, it would all click and my wife would have to drag me away from 80386 and my Lucasfilm's Spitfire so that we could go down to the corner and catch the subway to Wall Street together.

I was the "Manchurian Candidate" and didn't even know it.  All you had to do was flash a photo of a 109 and gravis joystick in front of me, and you could wind me up do anything!  Even now, just the mention of BOB 1940 and my left eye is beginning to twitch.  ...  No! No! No!  The guys in the white jackets are coming ... run RUN!

[MarkShot]

OMG! Now, it's all clear my wife isn't disinterested or tolerant, she is my controller. She told me that agents of the PRC had approached her in Macau after her return from school in Taiwan.  That explains why there are photos of the Dalai Lama and Richard Gere on the wall with a schedule of their public appearances.

OMG! I probably know more about guns than Jarhead, and only think I have an aversion to gun violence.

WAR GAMING GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!  LEAVE ME BE!!!

[airboy]

My wife is very interested in history and will go to war museums and battlefields.  But they are not her preference.  But I go to art museums with her which is not my preference.

She is not interested in computer games - I'm not interested in TV (outside of College sports) and she watches murder shows all the time.  She does not hunt or shoot - but will sometimes pull clays for me if we go out to a nice lunch later on.

We have common interests (live sports, concerts, museums, etc......) and things only one of us is interested in.  She does not mind the computer games as long as they don't take all of my time.

Marriage is a balance.  If you expect your spouse to enjoy (or even refrain from commenting on) all of your interests it probably won't last in the long run.

She DOES NOT ask me to work on craft projects and I don't ask her to hunt.

[Gusington]

^Good point. The Wife has yet to ask me to knit and we've been together for fifteen years (married ten)... think I am out of the woods there.

[Sir Slash]

I'm blessed with a lovely wife that not only makes great wings but tolerates my gaming hobby. I don't think she understands it or could ever sit still long enough to play one but she is happy when I'm happy and vice versa. She thinks Skyrim is funny and is a little jealous of Lydia being my follower. Not having everything in common means you have to work some to make the relationship work and we both can appreciate that.