North Korea: When Internet Trolls Get Nukes

[Longdan]

Those cartoons aren't real.

[GDS_Starfury]

what cartoon?

[Longdan]

Those aren't lasers.
http://www.silbermedia.com/remora/

[GDS_Starfury]

put your glasses on Dan, its the mechanical object on top of the dorsal fin.

[JasonPratt]

WE THEREBY DENY THE OCEANS TO AAALLLLLL!!!!

[Longdan]

put your glasses on Dan, its the mechanical object on top of the dorsal fin.

That's just the device the North Korean remora is using to drive that shark.

[LongBlade]

Even the Palestinians concede the Israelis control sharks. This is "settled science."

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Even the Palestinians concede the Israelis control sharks. This is "settled science."

Wait till the UN forms a committee.

[JasonPratt]

No, no, the Palestinians insist the Israelis are sharks.

With frickin laser beams on their heads.

[bayonetbrant]

I thought they were just ill-tempered sea bass

[GDS_Starfury]

I thought they were just ill-tempered sea bass lox

fixed

[JasonPratt]

As they've been sort-of threatening, the Norks have now shut off access to that shared factory to the Sorks.

I guess this counts as "escalation" in a way?

[Staggerwing]

Yeah, 'cause the Norkies didn't really need the millions per year that the factory deal brought into their zombie economy. I'm sure it was merely extra gravy on the tasty biscuit that is life in the PRK.



I give the shutout less than a week.

[Longdan]

Crazy people with guns.  Go figure.

[JasonPratt]

The crazy people with light nuclear weapons just told the US that they've authorized their military to use nukes against the US.

http://mail.aol.com/37614-111/cs_com-6/en-us/Suite.aspx

"We formally inform the White House and Pentagon that the ever-escalating U.S. hostile policy toward the DPRK and its reckless nuclear threat will be smashed by the strong will of all the united service personnel and people and cutting-edge smaller, lighter and diversified nuclear strike means," an unnamed spokesman from the General Bureau of the Korean People's Army said in a statement carried by state media, referring to North Korea by its formal name, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. "The U.S. had better ponder over the prevailing grave situation."


I have to say this fits my estimation of how they'd actually use what nukes they had: go for low-tech demonstration terrorism, not high-tech delivery. Nuke somewhere they don't care about taking themselves eventually if the US doesn't capitulate, and then threaten to do the same thing again with other hidden nukes in place if the US tries to retaliate. If the US tests that warning, they detonate a second nuke, keeping x-number in reserve: try retaliating again, see what happens.

Alternately, it fits the idea of them using the nukes as low-tech defensive weapons against invasion: try coming in and we pop some nukes on your tanks. However, their rhetoric has been aggressively aimed far from the area they'd like to claim instead of poison.

Another alternate is that they're planning invasion south, so they pop a nuke on Guam or SF harbor or Pearl, and warn that any resistance by the US to their advance will be met with more detonations by hidden nukes: withdraw or more US civilian casualties. Then they bet they can win against SK without US support. (Probably still not but remember, crazy people.)