My dog is both ruthless and deft in her management of our family. I propose that all dogs be equipped, at government expense, with a floating holographic counter positioned above the dog's head that automatically keeps count of how many treats the dog has had that day.
I'm convinced my wife is having an affair with my dog.
QuotePrivate investigator's log, entry 3, day 6
Client: Jarhead0331
Case file no. : K-9
On August 10, 2024, client contacted PI to commence surveillance of wife, one Mrs. Jarhead0331, who was suspected of engaging in extramarital activities with pet coon hound by the name of Dexter Wolfgang Chicken. Client supplied evidence of long walks with prolonged absence from family property, excessive licking and inappropriate and unusual humping in presence of client. On day 6 of investigation, contact was made with suspects and compromising photographs were obtained.
(https://scontent-lga3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/299726228_10159534349097702_7582814007103706009_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=4g8RoJ6KAQUQ7kNvgFLWFbS&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-2.xx&oh=00_AYDtyy7kIDNyD4iK_bgmIL_oYabD-J_nqpG5qjX-NlLzZw&oe=66C5BB3C)
My dog is 9.5 years old, 115 pounds and definitely uses less than 5% of his walnut-sized brain 🧠
Quote from: Gusington on August 16, 2024, 09:11:55 PMMy dog is 9.5 years old, 115 pounds and definitely uses less than 5% of his walnut-sized brain 🧠
Mine is a crafty manipulative asshole who at her best can drive you mental
But I wouldn't have her any other way
Because of their organizational skills, dogs could easily rule the world if it weren't for noisy Garbage Trucks that drive by on the street. :Nerd:
Quote from: Gusington on August 16, 2024, 09:11:55 PMMy dog is 9.5 years old, 115 pounds and definitely uses less than 5% of his walnut-sized brain 🧠
I bet your wife says the same about your brain :laugh:
Here's mine:
(https://i.imgur.com/wo1jEje.jpg)
Yorkies are a great dog. They were breed as a working dog (they are ratters. see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYNUr08MVdQ), so they are smart and independent. Henry is more than happy to let you know when you aren't living up to his expectations
What a cutie Trip! Henry could chew holes in my socks anytime.
Quote from: Sir Slash on August 17, 2024, 09:11:00 PMWhat a cutie Trip! Henry could chew holes in my socks anytime.
Henry is a good dog. He definitely has the cuteness thing going. Speaking of dogs, I just saw this meme, and I thought it was too good not to share:
(https://i.imgur.com/SaYjNdC.jpg)
At least dogs aren't good liars like cats are. Try asking your cat if he's the one that stole the pork chop off your plate when you weren't looking.
My dog steals everything, even at his advanced age. What a dick. But he's our dick.
He's going through minor separation anxiety right now with our oldest daughter off to college.
Quote from: Gusington on August 18, 2024, 03:52:13 PMMy dog steals everything, even at his advanced age. What a dick. But he's our dick.
He's going through minor separation anxiety right now with our oldest daughter off to college.
Yup, mines a thief but a clever one - she'll steal something she doesn't really want to initiate a chase round the house and whilst you retrieve the stolen item and you're away from her true target she'll beat you back to the remote controls and set off with the tv or sky remote
^My dog, with his walnut-sized brain (that he uses 5% of, 5% of the time)...wishes he was that clever.
A couple of weeks ago my doggie needed to go outside to pee. He always scratches the front door to try to signal us he needs to be let out.
I went out with him. He was leashed. It was around 20:30. Didn't make it past my front steps when I heard barking from across the street. The neighbor from down the way was out walking her two dogs. When they saw my dog and me coming outside they started barking which in turn set off my dog to barking. The woman, unable to restrain her two dogs let go of them both and they charged full bore towards my front steps. It all happened so fast I don't know how I was simultaneously able to kick one of the dogs that latched onto my dogs back about to bite his neck and push my dog back into our house. All the while I was screaming my best war cry ever. I don't care if the neighborhood thought I was a lunatic but I was fully ready to crush the enemy dogs skull with my foot. Thankfully I didn't have to do that as while I was in mid kick the attacker jumped off of my dog and ran back across the street towards it's master. The second dog followed suit. Maybe it was my wild cry, maybe they saw my counter attack, or maybe it was divine intervention.
Either way I didn't see the neighbor again until a few days ago. No words were exchanged, she just smiled and waved hello in attempt at unvocalized body language to say, "we cool bro?" I just waved back and kept on going.
We cool, lady, just don't be walking your dogs near my house again when I'm trying to take my dog out for a quick pee.
Canine accountability measures?
Interesting timing on this...
We have a medium sized coon hound who is as friendly and dopey as they come. He will defend the home, but outside of the home, he just wants to play and frolic. He is great with people and most importantly, great with kids. Everyone in the neighborhood knows him and we feel that most everybody loves him too.
Sometimes, my wife will let him out to make on his own if her hands are full with the kids or the timing is really inconvenient. I've told her not to do this repeatedly and its sort of an ongoing issue that pisses me off. Some of our neighbors get frantic when they see him out on the loose because they think he got out without us knowing and so they go out of their way to bring him back and I feel bad because then we have to play dumb.
In any event, we recently learned that one of our neighbors was really pissed about it, but rather than confronting us like an adult, she was texting our other neighbors and asking them to take pictures of him out on the loose so she can report him to animal control. Sure enough, the other night around 6:00 pm, we got a call from animal control that they received a call and they brought him in. They close at 6:00, so it was too late for us to go and get him. He had to spend the night and it was a sleepless one for us. We got him the next morning.
In any event, we're trying to figure out how to handle it with the neighbor that does not involve gasoline, a match and her house. I know we have a lot of the responsibility on this one, but animal control? Really? She literally never complained to us or gave us a warning, or anything...she just tried to rally the neighbors against us and then went straight to animal control.
Thoughts?
Your neighbor and W8's should have to live next door to each other for 3-5 years. I was nearly attacked by my neighbor lady's dog Wednesday evening. She spoke to me while I was out putting up storm shutters and since she has a soft voice, I couldn't hear her. So I stepped toward her to hear better and her large dog on a leash lunged at me. She couldn't hold him back and he nipped my work glove and then got my shorts I was wearing before I could get out of range. No damage but now I know to use sign language with the lady, if you know what I mean. :idiot2:
Stream of consciousness thinking here: If you think speaking to the neighbor would help repair the relationship, then you should do so. If it would worsen the relationship, then you shouldn't. If you do approach her, then starting with an apology, followed by a "next time, call me to let me know" may be a good approach. Both you and one family member should do the approach, as that way you have a witness (she sounds like she has some passive aggressive characteristics in her personality, so witnesses are good).
JH I'm with Tripoli on this. If you do talk to her definitely bring someone with you, i.e. the wife.
Some people are, for lack of a better word, cowards when it comes to peaceful confrontation over a topic. They hide behind the curtains and make social media calls. Keep that in mind if you do try talking to her. Be as non-confrontational as possible. Either way a discussion has to take place otherwise she'll keep calling animal control behind your back.
Slash,
Man that had to be a scary event. It's one thing when a dog is charging at your dog, it's another when the dog is charging after you. Glad you got out relatively unscathed.
I will third Trip's great advice. My neighbor lady is a good neighbor and was very apologetic for her dog's behavior, it was just trying to defend it's owner from a stranger after all. Worst part was he damned-near pulled my drawers down in front of her. Then she would've died of a Heart Attack so, she came-out ahead. :rolleyes:
Just a quick update to share with you all. Yesterday I ran into the neighbors dogs again. Long story short, the lady let go of her two dogs and one of them bit Snoopy. I kicked the dog but fell down backwards on my back. I got up again and kicked again resulting in a second fall. (Grass was wet due to early morning dew)
Another neighbor who happened to be in her yard right next to mine came running in and helped break up the fight. My back is killing me right now and my dog suffered a puncture wound above and below his eye. The lady offered to pay for the vet bill which I accepted. Snoopy is going to be fine but the interesting thing is what happened after the vet visit.
The vet informed me that they have to report a dog fight to the animal control officer at the police station. I spoke to the animal control officer today and she asked me why I didn't report the first incident a few weeks ago. I told her I wasn't interested in pressing charges at that time and nor am I this time either. However, she said that animal control can and will quarantine her dogs as well as talk to her about not releasing them whenever there is trouble. Also they mentioned that they can talk to her about walking them one at a time if she is unable to handle both of them together.
I feel she will be more likely to listen to animal control than me so I'm happy about that.
Glad it worked out for you W8. Except for the bad back I mean. It's pretty routine around these parts to go out for a walk with a Dog Stick to ward off aggressive animals or some kind of spray just in case.
I remember a few years back, talking to a local man who lives outside of town and raises goats. I asked him if he ever had problems with coyotes and he told me no but packs of feral dogs had killed several of his young goats and they were very prevalent. I had no idea. :shocked:
Carrying a stick is a good idea. I'd hate to use it on the neighbors dogs though but in the event of an emergency there probably is no choice.
Probably something that makes a very loud noise would be better to scare them away. Hand Grenade maybe?
Since I had to start using a cane (i.e.metal stick) for walking after the Tractor-Tree incident some years ago, I have been surprised at how effective it is as a canine control device. All the dogs I meet, except the ones that know me, now respect me.
And it also works on small children. :ThumbsUp: