I wasn't going to bother posting this, but then I thought "think of all the mileage Bob will get out of it!"
Sunday afternoon my left testicle started aching like hell. It was quite worrying obviously, but seemed to clear up of its own accord before I went to bed so I didn't think much of it. However Monday morning it was back with a vengeance, so I emailed my boss then called my local surgery. An appointment was made for the same afternoon and I settled down for the day and tried not to move around too much.
Thanks to the internet, I am, of course, a doctor. Therefore I diagnosed an inguinal hernia.
The surgery is a 15 minute walk from the house, so I walked it (took nearly half an hour). Arrived at the doc's and he got me to lie on a bed for examination after first asking a few questions about the location and severity of the pain, does it hurt when I make pee pee, any blood etc. While lying down he first got me to put both legs in the air, exposing my bare white arse for all the world to see. It didn't hurt to do that, so he ruled hernia out. Looks like proper medical school can teach you even more about medicine than the internet can!
Next he gave my balls a good prodding, which did hurt. He asked a few more questions, then said that because he was able to eliminate everything else, I must have epididymitis. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epididymitis) Two weeks of antibiotics which will "hopefully" clear it right up.
I can't say it was the best day of my life. I had today off work too, but stupidly told my boss I'd be in tomorrow. I feel like I've been kicked in the balls, only all day long. When I sit in the same position for more than a minute the pain disappears, but as soon as I move it's back again. I hope these antibiotics kick in soon. :(
Huw. My buddy. I sympathise. Having had an hernia and the subsequent repair operation, and an enlarged testicle due to an infection after a vasectomy, your tale has brought tears to my eyes.
I promise not to extract the urine, or make any dreadful puns about your plight.
You should have taken a week off work instead of a day - so that that was bit of a balls-up (oops, sorry!) on your part.
Still, it'll soon clear up so no chance of you being ready for the knackers yard yet.
:D :D :D
I knew you'd come up with the goods, Bob!
I should've asked him to perform a vasectomy while he was down there really, I've planned to have one for ages.
That's what friends are for mate ;)
as soon as Bob offers to kiss it to make it feel better, I'm having Longblade ban him for a week just on principle.
I hope you feel better soon Huw
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 16, 2013, 03:51:29 PM
as soon as Bob offers to kiss it to make it feel better, I'm having Longblade ban him for a week just on principle.
Haha! He should be so lucky! :D
QuoteI hope you feel better soon Huw
Thanks mate!
OK - I can beat you. I had two surgeries in the exact same area. They started with a similar diagnosis. Hope yours gets cured with drugs.
Quote from: airboy on July 16, 2013, 04:05:45 PM
OK - I can beat you. I had two surgeries in the exact same area. They started with a similar diagnosis. Hope yours gets cured with drugs.
Yeesh! Yep that sure does beat mine for the time being. Would you care to share your story? Why surgery, and why
twice?! Did your doc try antibiotics first?
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 16, 2013, 03:51:29 PM
as soon as Bob offers to kiss it to make it feel better, I'm having Longblade ban him for a week just on principle.
I hope you feel better soon Huw
LOL - I can definitely say that that's one option to effect a cure that I would assiduously strive to avoid.
Glad to here it's only one ball, Huw.
Sorry to hear that Huw. Talk about a ball-buster.
Hope you get better quickly Huw
Feel Better! and get on the ball about that vasectomy.
The ball is in Huw's court now, Star.
Ah nuts, Huw. That's terrible. 8)
Hahaha, thanks guys! Much appreciate the laughs!
Sorry to hear of your plight matey, glad its nothing worse - book more time off for more intergalactic midday conquests with me (nothing finer)
Full marks to Bob for getting 'knackers' in his reply - not since the playground have i heard that - made me laugh out loud at work
Cheers Geek! By the way Bob, you were right, it would be crazy to go back to work today so I've taken one more day off.
nooooooooooooooooooooooo - 2 more days, 2.more.days.
im off tomorrow
you could be like Ferris Beuler
Huw, I know exactly how that feels, as a youngster I had Testicular torsion, I couldn't move at all because of the pain. Had a surgery to get things 'straight' again ;)
Get well soon!
Grim, torsion is one of the two things I was really hoping it wouldn't be. Eurgh. I'm glad you had timely access to surgery!
Men are built too vulnerable, simple as that :P
Yeah, externalising the gonads was a bit of a design flaw, really. The ladies get to have theirs safely tucked away; why can't we? :(
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 17, 2013, 09:29:42 AM
Yeah, externalising the gonads was a bit of a design flaw, really. The ladies get to have theirs safely tucked away; why can't we? :(
ummmm - cos you wouldnt be able to put yours in ladies ones! and youd pee on yourself at the urinal, and i cant imagine the horror of a swimming pool changing room, with you and your tucked in 'action man' bits
Haha Geek! Not sure if serious! I was only talking about the gonads! Quite happy for the old chap to remain outside. :)
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 17, 2013, 09:46:45 AM
Haha Geek! Not sure if serious! I was only talking about the gonads! Quite happy for the old chap to remain outside. :)
lmao - im awash with relief - you do know we're having this conversation in public?
Indeed. Is torsion when the berries get all twisted-like?
Quote from: Gusington on July 17, 2013, 10:12:48 AM
Indeed. Is torsion when the berries get all twisted-like?
that sounds like the proper medical term
Quoteyou do know we're having this conversation in public?
WTF? Public? You sure?? I talk too much...
Quote from: Gusington on July 17, 2013, 10:12:48 AM
Indeed. Is torsion when the berries get all twisted-like?
Yeah...I think it's usually the result of trauma, and if not treated very quickly can be fatal. :o
Quote from: Grimnirsson on July 17, 2013, 11:11:18 AM
Quoteyou do know we're having this conversation in public?
WTF? Public? You sure?? I talk too much...
I don't describe this forum as "public."
It is open, but is held privately.
So it's like a private club but with a screen mesh wall. Or a tent.
Thanks LongBlade,
I'm feeling better now...btw...in the light of this very specific thread...your name...no, can't be...that was not the reason you chose it...I think... :P
Our Welsh Brother Grog named Huw,
Was in a bit of a stew,
The pain in his knacker,
Was a hell of a cracker,
And it made him yell out 'Oh Poo!'
LOL!!!!!
This has real possibilities, Bob.
There was a man named Huw,
Whose ball was swollen and blue.
He went to the doc,
Who was surprised by his rock,
and told him his porn stash was through.
there once was a bored bunch of wargamers
who took turns as testicular defamers
their limericks atrocious
but vocabulary precocious
made Huw the Poo scream out in pain worse
Someone is screaming...
Poor Huw's ball was busted,
So he went to a doc he trusted.
Doc said, "Take a pill a day,
The swelling will go away.
Be thankful the other part wasn't crusted!"
LMAO.
Where else could you get this level of sophisticated entertainment?
Sad Huw was in despair,
There was an ache in one of his pair.
He took some round pills,
To get rid of his ills,
But most of all lay off the Nair!
Poor Huw just could not sleep,
The pain in his nuts was real deep,
The doctor said'yield!'
Stay out of that field,
And no more bother the sheep.
Hahahahaha! Oh god, my lady and I are getting some proper laughs here! Thanks guys! :D :D :D
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 17, 2013, 03:00:52 PM
Hahahahaha! Oh god, my lady and I are getting some proper laughs here! Thanks guys! :D :D :D
You know what they say. Laughter heals the soul.
Hopefully some other parts, too.
Quote from: bob48 on July 17, 2013, 02:51:59 PM
Poor Huw just could not sleep,
The pain in his nuts was real deep,
The doctor said'yield!'
Stay out of that field,
And no more bother the sheep.
That was excellent! :D
#1..... Huw as a PhD, used the phrase "pee-pee" to describe urinating... therefore Huw must be a pediatrition
#2..... I has a vasectomy AND then 10 years later a reversal .... Huw you have my deepest most profound pity [similar to watching an animal die horribly after eating some of LBs barbeque]
#3..... Most of these guys better not try and make their living as poets
There once was a gamer named Huw
whose member was thouroughly blue
he went to the doc
who treated his cock
and there isn't going to be an end rhyme... because evil overlords pull shit like that
must remember - this is the wrong place for sympathy!!
You can always find sympathy... between shit and syphilis in the dictionary....
Lol
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 17, 2013, 03:34:59 PM
must remember - this is the wrong place for sympathy!!
There should be a dedicated thread for those desiring true sympathy ... but I think it would be derailed within 6 posts
Huw was in fear and dread,
For his nut burned like hot lead.
They feared he'd lost it all,
But modern meds saved his ball,
And Huw was happy because he still had the head!
Gah! Here's to hoping it's gone soon, Huw.
Err...the pain...not the entire bit... :o
I'm no poet, so I'll leave it to the other to keep that ball rolling.
I think 6 it a little optimistic, Windy, I'm sure we can do better'n that.
There once was a lad from Conizes,
Who's balls were two different sizes.
One was so small,
It was nothing at all.
The other so big it won prizes.
The thread is reaching historical proportions in its hilarity and absence of any empathy. Well done.
Huw was a guy with berry twisted
How it got that way no one witness-ed
He screamed out 'oh shit'
His virtual friends laughed at his sick bit
And the thread grew as not a beat was miss-ed.
~fin~
the Hue cried
a knife was applied
the soft wind spoke
^I smell romance. Or is that fromunda?
Bes for the LOL-prize
Well, of course. What do you expect on these forums, respect and probity?
For those who care, the original:
There once was a girl from Conizes,
whose tits were two different sizes,
one was so small
it was nothing at all,
The other so big it won prizes.
I wonder if she had scoliosis as well...
Stand aside.
<ahem>
Huw had a terrabyte of porn,
That usually kept his hand warm.
But his ball did break,
and really did ache.
But at least his prick wasn't so worn.
Nuts.
Quote from: LongBlade on July 17, 2013, 09:18:11 PM
Stand aside.
<ahem>
Huw had a terrabyte of porn,
That usually kept his hand warm.
But his ball did break,
and really did ache.
But at least his prick wasn't so worn.
Ha! Yeah, I did have to take a couple of days off. It was hell! :D
Huw, hope you get well soon
with your ball as big as balloon
Epididymitis is hard for a bloke
sorry but we had had to joke
your pain will be gone at noon
A pic of our man Huw on his way to the docs this morning:-
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg689.imageshack.us%2Fimg689%2F2033%2Fbtd0.jpg&hash=4a0e21dc6b0c8e89e28d8e7397f7965dd5303fe4) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/689/btd0.jpg/)
:o
Hilarity aside -- and make no mistake, this thread is one of the funniest I've seen in a long time -- you have all my sympathies, Huw. Here's hoping the antibiotics do the trick, and that the pain dissipates soon!
Thank you Martok! Geek, I may not have looked like that on the way to the doc but I bloody felt like it! Is that Buster Gonad?
In other news, a friend of mine saw this thread and decided to contribute a verse of his own:
A terrible accident befell Huw
Whilst attempting a Welsh field-based screw.
With balls so inflamed,
That no hope remained
Of ramming his favourite ewe.
;D
it is buster gonad - i thought it appropriate
hows the nutsack today?
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 18, 2013, 12:41:41 PM
Thank you Martok! Geek, I may not have looked like that on the way to the doc but I bloody felt like it! Is that Buster Gonad?
In other news, a friend of mine saw this thread and decided to contribute a verse of his own:
A terrible accident befell Huw
Whilst attempting a Welsh field-based screw.
With balls so inflamed,
That no hope remained
Of ramming his favourite ewe.
;D
Ha! He needs to register. He'll fit right in!
I think I've just had a minor epiphany: All internet communities should have a good-humored Welshman as one of their members. The world would be better off. 8)
Aww shucks Martok! :)
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 18, 2013, 12:49:13 PM
hows the nutsack today?
Disappointingly it's actually slightly worse today, but nowhere near as bad as it has been. I still think the antibiotics will kick arse. :)
There exists in this world only one good-humoured Welshman, and he's our's already ;)
Good sport Huw, so you are boyo!
Quote from: Martok on July 18, 2013, 12:56:39 PM
a good-humored Welshman
:o :o
you should hear him when Steam wont work, or the Team Speak server wont let me on!!
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 18, 2013, 01:17:13 PM
:o :o
you should hear him when Steam wont work, or the Team Speak server wont let me on!!
HA! What are you talking about, sir? I am the very model of restraint and decorum, and when things go wrong, I calmly take the required steps to rectify with no word of complaint. :P
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time
To be fair, I don't think
I'd have much of a sense of humour if I worked in a mine!
bu....... wha........ but...........
YOURE WELSH!!!!
you must work in a mine
And sing in a choir.
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho.............
..or am getting mixed up with something else?
Quote from: bob48 on July 18, 2013, 01:54:52 PM
And sing in a choir.
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho.............
..or am getting mixed up with something else?
thats Gus
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:55:10 PM
Quote from: bob48 on July 18, 2013, 01:54:52 PM
And sing in a choir.
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho.............
..or am getting mixed up with something else?
thats Gus
<chuckle>
I am a good singer as it happens! Well, maybe not now though...
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 18, 2013, 02:08:56 PM
I am a good singer as it happens! Well, maybe not now though...
those high notes should be less of a challenge methinks
Dammit you beat me to it.
I was distracted by work.
Quote from: Gusington on July 18, 2013, 02:25:19 PM
I was distracted by work.
don't you have two monitors and a cordless headset?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2F000%2F450%2F013%2F225.gif&hash=25b9fb6763d9886bd0678bd9424054d6ccc5499b)
there's a "kilt" joke in all this somewhere
Breezy I have two turntables and a microphone.
Star wins for tactical testicular clip usage. Bravo!
Having gone through this, I have a philosophical question.
I'm sure that you, or your male buddies have said at some point in time:
"I would give my left nut for ............ (insert what you want)"
Now, why is ALWAYS give the left nut? It is never the right nut, or both nuts, but the LEFT NUT?
Huw - Have you been making fond wishes about a sports car, a blonde, for more "prowess" and promised your left nut?
Was your prayer "answered" or is "getting answered slowly?"
Be careful, very careful, about what you ask for!
because the left nut voted for obama.
Okay, Airboy, here is one explanation, and you can believe it or not.
Back in the 20s and 30s, the cadets at West Point and the Midshipmen at Annapolis were equipped by military tailors.
The tailors were trained to cut the cloth of trousers to favor the right side. (If you ever go to a real tailor, you will be asked "Do you dress on the right or the left?" One ball always hangs lower than the other.)
So those people who had lower hanging left balls were more likely to be uncomfortable, have their knickers in a twist, cut the blood to the nut...
So, when they said I'd give my left nut, it was because the trousers were cut to be tighter on that side of the the crotch. If you had to give up one of the pair, then give up the one that was causing you more discomfort.
This is one of the reasons that civilian tailors always had a thriving business next to the gates of military establishments. One size does not fit all.
Quote from: Gusington on July 18, 2013, 07:05:55 PM
Breezy I have two turntables and a microphone.
Star wins for tactical testicular clip usage. Bravo!
For work????????????????
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time
:o
Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).
Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 18, 2013, 12:59:23 PM
Aww shucks Martok! :)
I speak from the heart. ;D
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 18, 2013, 12:59:23 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 18, 2013, 12:49:13 PM
hows the nutsack today?
Disappointingly it's actually slightly worse today, but nowhere near as bad as it has been. I still think the antibiotics will kick arse. :)
By the way, what's the sitrep today? Any better yet?
Bes that story trumps all of your previous ones. Bravo!
one of these days, we need the "Collected Essential Tales of Besilarius Groghead"
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 19, 2013, 08:53:02 AM
one of these days, we need the "Collected Essential Tales of Besilarius Groghead"
Indeed. He knows how to spin them.
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time
:o
Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).
Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.
I have no idea why you'd be freaked out by this, but I am serious, I had work to do there several times.
Quote from: Windigo on July 19, 2013, 11:25:31 AM
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time
:o
Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).
Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.
I have no idea why you'd be freaked out by this, but I am serious, I had work to do there several times.
@ LB,
heh, back then I was *cough* happily married to Ex#1 - living in Grande Prairie
Quote from: Martok on July 19, 2013, 02:17:42 AM
By the way, what's the sitrep today? Any better yet?
I made the mistake of going back to boxer shorts today, so I was...ahem...
reminded with every step I took. Besides that though, not bad at all. Thanks for asking, mate!
you need a 'cupper'?
im not volunteering
Some friend you are. :(
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 19, 2013, 01:01:02 PM
Quote from: Martok on July 19, 2013, 02:17:42 AM
By the way, what's the sitrep today? Any better yet?
I made the mistake of going back to boxer shorts today, so I was...ahem...reminded with every step I took. Besides that though, not bad at all. Thanks for asking, mate!
Huw wore boxers under his pants,
His ball was beaten like stamps.
Healing set back by days,
His doc started to craze.
"What's the use of your porn?" he rants.
Fixed for a syntax error.
Hahaha, very good LB, and very quick!
I am enjoying all the limericks about my poor, embattled bollock! :D
Doing my best to keep your spirits up :)
as long as that's all you're keeping up
Quote from: Windigo on July 19, 2013, 11:25:31 AM
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time
:o
Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).
Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.
I have no idea why you'd be freaked out by this, but I am serious, I had work to do there several times.
It's just odd. What are the odds of two people who spent time in a mountain town with a population around 5,000 showing up on a gaming forum?
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 06:23:25 PM
It's just odd. What are the odds of two people who spent time in a mountain town with a population around 5,000 showing up on a gaming forum?
And a niche one, at that.
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 06:23:25 PM
It's just odd. What are the odds of two people who spent time in a mountain town with a population around 5,000 showing up on a gaming forum?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-RfORwUL9fsQ%2FUKamIp8aE5I%2FAAAAAAAADW4%2F1YepRk9DKHA%2Fs400%2FDarthVaderCallMe.jpg&hash=ef96f54290aee31f4ec562dda610581f7abd3ebb)
Quote from: LongBlade on July 19, 2013, 07:16:10 PM
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 06:23:25 PM
It's just odd. What are the odds of two people who spent time in a mountain town with a population around 5,000 showing up on a gaming forum?
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-RfORwUL9fsQ%2FUKamIp8aE5I%2FAAAAAAAADW4%2F1YepRk9DKHA%2Fs400%2FDarthVaderCallMe.jpg&hash=ef96f54290aee31f4ec562dda610581f7abd3ebb)
I'm all for Star Wars memes but I dont know about this one.....
really... after everything else this is where you draw the line? ::)
pull yourself together man!
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 19, 2013, 01:01:02 PM
Quote from: Martok on July 19, 2013, 02:17:42 AM
By the way, what's the sitrep today? Any better yet?
I made the mistake of going back to boxer shorts today, so I was...ahem...reminded with every step I took. Besides that though, not bad at all. Thanks for asking, mate!
You're welcome, and I'm most glad to hear it. :D
Quote from: LongBlade on July 19, 2013, 07:16:10 PM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-RfORwUL9fsQ%2FUKamIp8aE5I%2FAAAAAAAADW4%2F1YepRk9DKHA%2Fs400%2FDarthVaderCallMe.jpg&hash=ef96f54290aee31f4ec562dda610581f7abd3ebb)
Okay, it's a little wrong, but still funny.
With that posture, the words should be suggestive and threatening all at once.
Something like, "I find your lack of Twinkies...disturbing."
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on July 19, 2013, 10:44:31 PM
really... after everything else this is where you draw the line? ::)
pull yourself together man!
I have my standards you know. You can't just use Lord Vader's likeness all willy nilly like. ;D
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1108.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh412%2FRotarrin%2FFunny%2FSense_-_This_picutre_makes_none_-_Darth_Vader_Water_zpsa9ed17dc.jpg&hash=3712d19e1cb5ceedb4c1683ff181247b1b71a23b) (http://s1108.photobucket.com/user/Rotarrin/media/Funny/Sense_-_This_picutre_makes_none_-_Darth_Vader_Water_zpsa9ed17dc.jpg.html)