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IRL (In Real Life) => Current Events => Topic started by: BanzaiCat on February 08, 2014, 03:57:09 PM

Title: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 08, 2014, 03:57:09 PM
LOL

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/02/08/iran-sending-warships-close-to-us-borders/

QuoteA senior Iranian naval commander says his country has sent several warships to the Atlantic Ocean, close to U.S. maritime borders for the first time.

The commander of Iran's Northern Navy Fleet, Admiral Afshin Rezayee Haddad, is quoted by the official IRNA news agency as saying Saturday that the vessels have already begun the journey to the Atlantic Ocean via waters near South Africa.

"Iran's military fleet is approaching the United States' maritime borders, and this move has a message," Haddad reportedly said, according to Fars, a semi-official Iranian news agency.

Right, and that message will be, "Glub glub blugg blub blub *"
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Gusington on February 08, 2014, 04:06:57 PM
All your dinghies are belong to us.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: TheCommandTent on February 08, 2014, 04:08:19 PM
I'm not sure they know what the term 'threaten' means ...
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Gusington on February 08, 2014, 04:14:36 PM
I'm impressed that the Iranians claim to have a destroyer and a helicopter carrier.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Arctic Blast on February 08, 2014, 04:54:57 PM
How will the world react to the powerful fleet of Falsehood and Fiction? Let us all hope that they don't send Guffaw and Boondoggle out to join them! We aren't ready for that!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Steelgrave on February 08, 2014, 05:08:59 PM
Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Capital.....Congressmen are working on how to turn this into a credible threat worthy of increased military spending....in their district, of course.

Maybe the Cuban and Venezuelan navies, along with ragged squadrons of Somalian pirates, could be encouraged to join in the "invasion"? Where the hell are the Wolverines when you need them?

(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.soundonsight.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2FRed-Dawn.png&hash=1b48e22fff018569c9cd626329dff16e31c94a44)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 08, 2014, 05:14:24 PM
Or where's Chuck Norris?!? He has experience with fighting horrid overacting!

(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-8tUy0pPyono%2FUKgpoF3g4fI%2FAAAAAAAAWKw%2FeraeQAqj0nQ%2Fs1600%2Fcartazinvasionusa.jpg&hash=8d38098e8b054db77adad6d4523ba5804c51aa9d)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Greybriar on February 08, 2014, 08:18:20 PM
"....Iranian officials said last month that the fleet consisted of the destroyer Sabalan and the logistic helicopter carrier Khark...."

Don't tell me the U.S. doesn't have the naval strength in the Atlantic to oppose that "fleet"!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 08, 2014, 08:32:41 PM
We're leaving itvto the canadians for training purposes.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 08, 2014, 08:35:54 PM
You could go psy-ops and just leave a naked star out there in a rubber ring and one of those fairground sugar dummies round his neck
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 08, 2014, 08:40:44 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 08, 2014, 08:35:54 PM
You could go psy-ops and just leave a naked star out there in a rubber ring and one of those fairground sugar dummies round his neck

My God, man. Think of the Geneva Convention, you monster! ;)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 08, 2014, 09:14:55 PM
It is nice having no tan lines.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: OJsDad on February 08, 2014, 09:26:38 PM
Lets just hope that the current US President and his Secretary of State don't screw things up this badly;

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053084/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Gusington on February 08, 2014, 09:43:12 PM
Steelie...those are not the REAL Wolverines! Come on now.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 08, 2014, 09:57:07 PM
Quote from: Gusington on February 08, 2014, 09:43:12 PM
Steelie...those are not the REAL Wolverines! Come on now.

+1

Looks like the cast of Cop Rock...

...although the cast of Cop Rock were better actors, actually.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Staggerwing on February 08, 2014, 10:09:13 PM
^Dude, Cop Rock? We do not speak of such things, much as True Klingons do not speak of those without forehead lines.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 08, 2014, 10:21:58 PM
I'd take a Cop Rock marathon with a steaming, stinking slice of Glee on the side before I watch that Red Dawn remake again.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: MetalDog on February 09, 2014, 10:49:08 AM
I have to agree with B_C on this one.  That Red Dawn remake was the pits!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: W8taminute on February 09, 2014, 11:59:01 AM
Chekhov seems to have the solution to this problem:

(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi19.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb174%2FJanspeed%2Fnuclear_wessels.jpg&hash=7b8232edb07e244dd79b74277e532a81da9b26b2)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Steelgrave on February 09, 2014, 12:20:43 PM
Quote from: Gusington on February 08, 2014, 09:43:12 PM
Steelie...those are not the REAL Wolverines! Come on now.

That's ok because the Iranians don't have a real Navy either  8) 
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: skeptical.platypus on February 09, 2014, 01:17:17 PM
If I was a US Navy Admiral with a sense of humor, I'd send out one of the Kidd-class destroyers to meet them. (Of course, if I was a US Navy Admiral, I'd probably know if any of those aren't mothballed.)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Staggerwing on February 09, 2014, 01:51:20 PM
Why don't we just let the Coast Guard handle it?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Keunert on February 09, 2014, 03:18:10 PM
are you still there?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Keunert on February 09, 2014, 03:18:27 PM
US answer please!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Staggerwing on February 09, 2014, 03:42:29 PM
Yes?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Keunert on February 09, 2014, 04:36:52 PM
puh
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Staggerwing on February 09, 2014, 05:10:53 PM
Orly
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Gusington on February 09, 2014, 06:51:49 PM
We could send in the guys from Cop Rock in a dinghy to meet and make contact with the Persian Atlantic Fleet.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Steelgrave on February 09, 2014, 06:53:40 PM
Quote from: Gusington on February 09, 2014, 06:51:49 PM
We could send in the guys from Cop Rock in a dinghy to meet and make contact with the Persian Atlantic Fleet.

Seems like an excessive show of force, all things considered  ;D
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: OJsDad on February 09, 2014, 08:04:53 PM
How about the cop from the Village People.  Would that be too excessive.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: besilarius on February 09, 2014, 08:21:06 PM
I'm sure they can send these ships into the US maritime borders, but have they considered how long it will take to get them back home after they run out of fuel and have to rig the sails?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Gusington on February 09, 2014, 08:40:41 PM
Do they have sails? I thought they were galleys :)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: TheCommandTent on February 09, 2014, 08:42:17 PM
Latest report is that they are through the Suez Canal .....



(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz397%2FSoccerDJ04%2FhC282AF60_zps729cb529.jpg&hash=abd9ed2cc00a25f219957d587c4e33fd73eb46da)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 10, 2014, 09:17:10 AM
More LULZ...

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/iranian-navy-commander-vows-sink-us-fleet-after-warship-deployment-near-american-maritime-1435758

QuoteA top Iranian navy commander has stepped up threats against the US, vowing to sink America's Fifth Fleet in the Middle East if provoked.

The threats came after Iran reportedly deployed warships, apparently in response to America's movement of ships into Iranian territory.

According to a senior naval commander, Afshin Rezayee, the Iranian deployment of a destroyer and a helicopter-carrying supply ship was a direct response to the presence of American naval forces in the Persian Gulf.

The Fifth Fleet of the United States Navy is responsible for naval forces in the Persian Gulf, Red Sea, Arabian Sea, and parts of the Indian Ocean.

"Iran's military fleet is approaching the United States' maritime borders, and this move has a message," Rezayee was quoted as saying.

(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmemeshare.net%2Fmemes%2F5%2F4687.png&hash=29612e93dbcb042755f4fa4cc4771dfc6b8c7384)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 10, 2014, 09:56:22 AM
could you not just fly over the 'fleet' at 50ft with a full flight of F-whatevers are flying off the decks and scare their pants off

it was just a training incident
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Arctic Blast on February 10, 2014, 05:05:49 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 10, 2014, 09:56:22 AM
could you not just fly over the 'fleet' at 50ft with a full flight of F-whatevers are flying off the decks and scare their pants off

it was just a training incident

Can we come up with a solution that keeps them dressed? Please?!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 10, 2014, 05:27:02 PM
boooooooooooooooo
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: besilarius on February 10, 2014, 07:44:33 PM
Before this is out.  I'm certain that all of their crew will start to look like Lee Marvin, after weeks of salt water showers.

Hope they packed plenty of apples and limes to keep scurvy away.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Gusington on February 10, 2014, 08:51:25 PM
They know what scurvy is?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Arctic Blast on February 10, 2014, 09:22:13 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 10, 2014, 05:27:02 PM
boooooooooooooooo

Listen, if you want your oceans teeming with pants-less Persians, that's between you and your therapist!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 10, 2014, 10:22:33 PM
Quote from: Gusington on February 09, 2014, 06:51:49 PMWe could send in the guys from Cop Rock

Don't be like that to Sheryl Crow!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 10, 2014, 10:24:17 PM
Michael Peck (DicedT) had the best headline

Iran Sends 'Fleet' To U.S. East Coast On Comic Relief Mission (http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelpeck/2014/02/10/iranian-navy-sends-fleet-to-u-s-east-coast-for-comic-relief/)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 11, 2014, 06:42:26 AM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on February 10, 2014, 10:24:17 PM
Michael Peck (DicedT) had the best headline

Iran Sends 'Fleet' To U.S. East Coast On Comic Relief Mission (http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelpeck/2014/02/10/iranian-navy-sends-fleet-to-u-s-east-coast-for-comic-relief/)

;D

Brilliant article. The comment response regarding nukes is good too.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 07:14:45 AM
You just have to wonder what it would do for the moral of the Iranian sailors if a US carrier group chose to keep them company.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 11, 2014, 09:06:01 AM
Quote from: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 07:14:45 AM
You just have to wonder what it would do for the morale of the Iranian sailors if a US carrier group Star in a speedo in a dingy chose to keep them company.

Fixed for ya.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 09:18:43 AM
They would most likely defect on the spot.

...or should that be defecate?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 11, 2014, 09:56:26 AM
Quote from: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 07:14:45 AMwould do for the moral of the Iranian sailors

I don't know.  Are Iranian morals stronger than typical navy morals?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 10:13:21 AM
This is the geek-scare-the-pants-off-moral version. I could have said morale, which, in hindsight, may have been more apt ;)


...on the other hand..............I may just have left the 'e' off........
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 10:17:51 AM
youve been 'grammar-ed'

you get used to it
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Barthheart on February 11, 2014, 10:24:35 AM
(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quickmeme.com%2Fimg%2F64%2F648738429a23b2c353089229011771a33d890fecf272160756e4d5d47cefb625.jpg&hash=b50b2fc10ba0ef8d49512578d31ae0a68957903c)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 10:48:22 AM
<Gulp!>
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 11, 2014, 11:40:36 AM
Vee haff vays uff makink you conjugate!

(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic3.fjcdn.com%2Fcomments%2F..%2Ban%2Bintroduction%2BI%2Bm%2Binfamous%2Bbut%2BI%2Bwill%2B...%2BAny%2B_8e96b8bf9daabfa8ffb83761f5698c2c.jpg&hash=92b4e840851eb4f1f9990b5f722e195fcd6d23dd)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 11, 2014, 11:47:03 AM
look - "moral" vs "morale" just has too many possibilities for humor to let it go. 

People who screw up their-there-they're or two-to-too rarely leave much of a chuckle on the table.
But then/than (http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htmurph/articles/20051129.aspx) always has humo(u)rous possibilities, and accept-except often does too.

I don't poke at everything, just the ones begging for jokes to be made :)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Barthheart on February 11, 2014, 11:50:35 AM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on February 11, 2014, 11:47:03 AM
look - "moral" vs "morale" just has too many possibilities for humor to let it go. 

People who screw up their-there-they're or two-to-too rarely leave much of a chuckle on the table.
But then/than always has humo(u)rous possibilities, and accept-except often does too.

I don't poke at everything, just the ones begging for jokes to be made :)

;)
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 12:06:43 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on February 11, 2014, 11:47:03 AM
look - "moral" vs "morale" just has too many possibilities for humor to let it go. 

People who screw up their-there-they're or two-to-too rarely leave much of a chuckle on the table.
But then/than (http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htmurph/articles/20051129.aspx) always has humo(u)rous possibilities, and accept-except often does too.

I don't poke at everything, just the ones begging for jokes to be made :)

yeah, yeah you love it really

sat there in your grammar uniform and knee length boots
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: bob48 on February 11, 2014, 12:24:33 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on February 11, 2014, 11:47:03 AM
look - "moral" vs "morale" just has too many possibilities for humor to let it go. 

People who screw up their-there-they're or two-to-too rarely leave much of a chuckle on the table.
But then/than (http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htmurph/articles/20051129.aspx) always has humo(u)rous possibilities, and accept-except often does too.

I don't poke at everything, just the ones begging for jokes to be made :)

LOL - I left myself wide open for that one (she said). And I'm usually so careful (he said).
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 11, 2014, 12:49:36 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 12:06:43 PM
yeah, yeah you love it really

sat there in your grammar uniform and knee length boots

So use punctuation and capitalize every so often, and the uniform doesn't need to go on. :P

VITHOUT PROPER GRAMMARRRRR, ZE VORLD VILL FALL TO FILLLANY! Fffffillany? Fffillains?
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 12:52:17 PM
im working, i can only use my right hand






Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Barthheart on February 11, 2014, 01:17:19 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 12:52:17 PM
im working, i can only use my right hand

ewwwwwww.....  :P
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Centurion40 on February 11, 2014, 01:25:45 PM
Well, now we know he's a lefty.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Martok on February 11, 2014, 01:30:09 PM
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on February 11, 2014, 11:40:36 AM
Vee haff vays uff makink you conjugate!

(https://www.grogheads.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic3.fjcdn.com%2Fcomments%2F..%2Ban%2Bintroduction%2BI%2Bm%2Binfamous%2Bbut%2BI%2Bwill%2B...%2BAny%2B_8e96b8bf9daabfa8ffb83761f5698c2c.jpg&hash=92b4e840851eb4f1f9990b5f722e195fcd6d23dd)
Bwahahaha!!!!!  Love it. 




Quote from: Centurion40 on February 11, 2014, 01:25:45 PM
Well, now we know he's a lefty.
Not there's anything wrong with that...  8) 

Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 01:34:01 PM
Quote from: Barthheart on February 11, 2014, 01:17:19 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 12:52:17 PM
im working, i can only use my right hand

ewwwwwww.....  :P

i could have put a bit more thought into that i admit!
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 11, 2014, 01:42:29 PM
It's okay, undercovergeek. We don't judge, here.
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: Arctic Blast on February 11, 2014, 07:39:17 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 01:34:01 PM
Quote from: Barthheart on February 11, 2014, 01:17:19 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on February 11, 2014, 12:52:17 PM
im working, i can only use my right hand

ewwwwwww.....  :P

i could have put a bit more thought into that i admit!

That, combined with your Persian fixation, is creating a troubling construct of who you are, man... :o

;D
Title: Re: Iranian Warships Threaten U.S. Maritime Borders
Post by: undercovergeek on February 12, 2014, 12:56:55 AM
everyone has their own special niche - what else can i say?!