R. Lee Ermey gives a marine press conference

[besilarius]

R. Lee Ermey is the host of The History Channel's " Mail Call " and played the Drill Instructor in the movie, " Full Metal Jacket. " He recently played the totally unsympathetic psychiatrist in a GIECO commercial. He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read.

So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.

--------

We pick up as a reporter asks about " how this potential war crime will affect our image in the world ":

Ermey: "WHAT KIND OF A PANSY-A**ED QUESTION IS THAT?"

Reporter 1: "Well, sir I think...."

Ermey: "THINK, FANCY BOY ??! GET THIS THROUGH THAT SEPTIC TANK ON TOP OF YOUR SHOULDERS, MORON : I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT, S***HEAD. SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR A** AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!! NEXT QUESTION: YOU IN THE BLUE SUIT."

Reporter 2: "Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important ?"

Ermey: "OH SURE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT SOME GODDAMNED FRENCH PANSY THINKS! OH THE DAYS I HAVE HAD TO WEEP, BECAUSE SOME S*** EATING TERRORIST SCUMBAG MIGHT BE MAD AT US, BECAUSE WE WENT INTO WHATEVER GOD FORSAKEN HOLE IN THE S*** THAT HE LIVES IN AND KILLED HIM. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBA** QUESTION IS THAT YOU PETER-PUFFING JACKA**? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR SORRY A** IN A THIMBLE! YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINK ING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S ***! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT? NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND KICK THE LIVING S*** OUT OF YOU!! NEXT QUESTION: YOU WITH THE UGLY-A**ED TIE, LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS HIDEOUS!"

Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by.."

Ermey: "FREEDOM? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE SWEATED MY A** OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION! WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE S***-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR A** ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMB-NUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABA**TIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT CHICKEN-S*** PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!! NEXT QUESTION.

Reporter 3: "I...I.."

Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING, NUMB NUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY HOLE IN THAT S***-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF YOU PANSY-A**ED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR A** THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY SHOELACES!!!!"

Marine DI's have a language all their own. God bless them all.

[Steelgrave]

Believe me, around here you don't have to explain who R. Lee Ermey is  8)  Is there a video of this by any chance?

I read that most of his speaking parts in "Full Metal Jacket" were unscripted, they just let him say whatever came into his mind. I love the guy! God bless him.

[Gusington]

Ermey was a 'tech advisor' on the set of Full Metal Jacket and the guy who was supposed to play the part of the Drill Instructor either got sick or fired or something. Stanley Kubrick auditioned Ermey and almost instantly fell in love with him.

Ermey himself would not be happy being described as a 'retired' Marine though...no such thing :) Ask Smuck or JH.

[Jarhead0331]

Ermey wouldn't be happy about having that nonsense ascribed to him.  Its only sort of funny if you try reading it in Ermey's voice.  Otherwise...meh.

I spent way too much time editing it for language.

[GJK]

Those lines that Ermey gave in FMJ came as natural to him as every day speaking does to us because he had used those same lines so many times as a DI.  I know because my DI's said many similar lines (and this was well before FMJ was filmed).  That's not to take anything away from his natural talents; it is a rare breed those Marine Corps DI's!